Mr. Mom
By Rennan Matthew Tarshil
It's funny, in a way. People ask me about my parents, most of all they ask about my mom, and a lot of times I'm just not sure how to explain it in a way that anyone who doesn't know us would get. People pass us in the grocery store, see us at the gas station, and I have had more than one ask how "my dad" is doing. Then I tell them the tall, slender redhead who is loading the bags into the SUV or putting gas in the gas tank is not my dad but my MOM, and that is when the jaws start dropping.
Yes, that's right folks. Rennan Matthew Tarshil has a MAN for a mother. I know, kinda shocking, isn't it? I wouldn't believe it either if I didn't know it for a fact. And if I hadn't seen the very hole I was shoved out of on an occasion or two, but no, we won't go there, really. NO self respecting teenage boy likes to admit he's seen his momma's vagina, or that he's seen momma naked, either. What's even more embarrassing is when Momma's dick is bigger than yours. Welcome to the world of being the Hermaphrodite Turk's kid.
What's it like, you ask? It has its advantages, as well as its disadvantages. The main advantage being that Mom knows the male body and perspective well enough NOT to act shocked or disappointed when he discovers that yes, my girlfriend and I do INDEED have sex. Matter of fact, he normally makes sure I'm well supplied with condoms and warns me to make sure I use one every time. I remember the time I came home and began complaining about Amelia's father, at which point Mom piped up, and told me something I have not forgotten to this day. "Son, it's not the girl's father you should be afraid of, but the girl's MOTHER." THAT is something which Mom has proven to be very true.
My other very clear memory of just how true that is was the day Rina came home crying after school. The story that came from her, about how her boyfriend had broken up with her because she refused to have sex with him, had of course stirred Dad to a nice fine rage, and the crimson flush that spread across the tanned face would have terrified the strongest men, really. But Dad can be reasoned with, normally. Mom on the other hand. . .when he goes off it's very difficult to talk him down. There was not even a word said as he yanked his emr up from the counter and marched next door, and I could see him trembling with anger when he did. To this day I'm still not sure what he said to the boy, but later that evening, Steve came over to the house with roses and APOLOGIZED to my sister.
There have of course been the nights that one or the other has come home bloodied, alone, and those are the nights that Rina and I just don't ask, because we both know that it means a mission went bad and that one of them was injured badly enough to need medical attention. Rina of course always fears the day Mom or Dad will come home alone and it will because the other has been killed. I want to reassure her Mom and Dad are both pretty smart, that they know how to protect themselves, but how sure can we be of that really? The world is uncertain, and one day or another death comes for all of us, whether we want it to or not. Rina and I just have to hold that fact closer to our hearts is all.
Of course, I always pray Mom will end up pregnant again, because for that amount of time at least he is out from under Death's fell shadow because he would not be allowed field duty during that period of time. For nine months, there is no pall of fear over our hearts, we relax and laugh and act as a family in ways we normally don't any other time, and we're happy that way. Not that we begrudge the life our parents have chosen for themselves, as we know they would not be happy without being in the thick of things. It's how they're wired.
Now, as I watch him sleeping in Dad's arms, one eye swollen closed where he'd been hit in the face by a bottle while breaking up a riot downtown, various other cuts and bruises and minor injuries littered over the pale and slender form, I realize something. Despite how our family is frowned upon, despite how we buck tradition, I would not have it any other way.
