For All You Disregard
(Or, The Day the Stars Disappeared)
Shisui never prioritized. His miracles were when he remembered to bring his homework to turn in the next day. His success was based on the smiles he coaxed from his darlingly frigid young cousin who was named after a rodent-like creature that really was never favored for anything but a pelt. His failures didn't exist.
So lived Shisui Uchiha. And he didn't care one bit.
-o-
The cousin failed to name above was actually very un-weasel like, more like a sharp-eyed, venemous creature, unable to be compared to a snake but more dangerous than a rattler without a rattle. For you see, Itachi was so silent you could never quite tell when he was pissed. And if you were observant enough to catch that malignant glare, it was even harder to tell when he would strike.
And because he was so fucking fast, you wouldn't know it until you were bleeding that you had royally pissed off He-Who-Could-Not-Be-Pissed-Off.
And damned if you didn't get an Olympic medal for that.
-o-
Itachi always prioritized. The top of the list was his brother, following close behind were the standards of his family. Next were his grades, then the standards of the school. Shisui barely made his Top 5 Most Important Things In Life. He wondered if when Itachi finished school wether he would move up or down on the list.
Of course, Shisui would never make it all that apparent that he wanted to be more important to Itachi than Itachi was to him. Instead he would ignore the weasel for as long as he could stand, make off-handed remarks about mistakes Itachi would almost make, then hide his smile when Itachi would cluck his tongue and explain in painfully accurate detail how Shisui was the one who made a mistake by questioning Itachi's answers. The fact that Itachi never left his side even after such farfetched accusations let Shisui know through Itachi's painstakingly built facade that he, somewhere in that painfully meticulous mind of his, actually loved him back.
-o-
Shisui was also the type to fall head-over-heels in love with somebody who didn't love him back. However, this was another case, where the recipient of the undying love actually returned the feelings with the secritive manner of a ninja with an insidious job; take them down from within.
And, like the insidious ninja that he was, he took Shisui down starting from the bottom, making him weak in the knees at the turn of a head. Once he was down on the aching joints Itachi blinked, lashing him across the back wtih painfully gentle beats of those black, eviscerated butterfly's wings. It wasn't enough to draw blood, though. He was too merciful for that. But as soon as Shisui had the gaul to look up, he met those hypnotist's eyes, Machiavallian by design and conditioned by Pavlov himself. He looked Shisui in the eyes as he brought down the poison-laced dagger in the base of his skull, the venom pervading Shisui's mind with Itachi's own special brand of poison, infecting him with the image of the perfect beauty, turning him away from everybody else in the world; male and female alike.
And so, without knowing it, Itachi had almost brought about his own Pavlovian conditioning just by introducing himself at the family reunion seven years ago.
Seven years old and already a killer. Fugaku must be proud.
Yet the insatiable stereotype of all asian fathers refused to believe his son was worth anything until he could somehow find the cure for cancer, impede male-pattern baldness, rewrite Einstine's Theory of Relativity, and bake a perfect souffle in a Beastie Boy's concert all in one day.
And Itachi, ever the familial martyr, deigned to every request with an elegantly humble bow and a smooth, sincere, "Yes, father."
But only Shisui could see the anger in those beautiful obsidian eyes. And wish that he could hold the beautifully obsidian teenager as he pressed his head into the pillow at night, the migranes searing behind his eyes that Shisui could swear would sometimes flash an unworldly red.
-o-
A big difference between the young, pulchritudinous crow and his older cousin was regard for the stars. Shisui saw them as a romantic conversation piece, with lines like, "You shame the moon," or, "When you blink, the stars disappear," ready on the tip of his tongue, nicities that made Itachi physically sick to his stomach.
Itachi saw them as gaseous beings that floated in the universe pointlessly, unneccesarily beautiful and extravagently existant. He often claimed that while entertaining enough to study, they were, in the long run, pointless. He could quote off facts about how stars helped ancient navigators from the book, ticking them off on his fingers while his smooth, deep voice made them enchanting, like a commercial for cologne, or a seductive audio book that drew the attention of everybody in earshot, like it or not.
Itachi only considered the stars when it came to picking out the constellations, treating it stoically and professionally, as if fingering the culprits in a police lineup. Shisui treated it like a special sort of allowance, the way a man starved at an early age seeks food, always eager to wake Itachi in the wee hours of the morning to bundle up and trek out in the snow just to point out Gemini and talk aimlessly about how fitting it is that it's Itachi constellation, or to wander out in the burning heat of the dead of summer when it's still dark and even the cicada are resting to laugh at the dog days of summer, enjoying the feel of the grass against his bare back and appreciate the finer things in life, not always certain if those are the stars or the secretive enchanted look in Itachi's eyes as he, too, took in the view of what the universe had to offer.
-o-
"The day I forget you is the day the stars disappear from the sky," Shisui smiled encouragingly as Itachi, for the first time in his life, looked nervous, his hands gripping the straps of his bookbag carefully as the jetway sat looming before the both of them, all the others passengers having nearly boarded the plane.
Itachi shuffled from foot-to-foot, staring fixedly at the ground, chewing the inside of his cheek as if there was something he needed to say. Shisui smiled a bit wider, sensing the nervousness of his weasel as Itachi only glanced up to him, looking very casual and cool in his dressy jeans, CM Punk teeshirt and converse, his long hair pulled into a ponytail with an unsteady glance. Nearly opening his mouth to speak, he only adverted his eyes, looking into the jetway as his stomach seemed to gape in anxiety.
"It's only college, 'tachi," Shisui assured, his hands in his pockets casually as if he wasn't just as nervous as Itachi was.
"It's kind of far away."
He noticed the pleading look in Itachi's eyes, saying Change my mind, don't let me go like this. Not like this.
But as Itachi's best friend, he couldn't let this oppertunity slip. No matter how much he wanted to do otherwise, to turn Itachi away from college life in another state, much less across the country, to pull him into his arms and cradle him against the world and the social hardships he would face. He wanted to convince Itachi that college wasn't important, and that Itachi could simply be a housewife of sorts, Shisui fully ready to support the both of them in adulthood. He wanted to propose to the seventeen-year-old now just as he had been planning for the past five years. But he couldn't.
As Itachi's friend, he couldn't.
So, in lieu of telling Itachi he loved him, he simply nodded, saying, "I'm always a phonecall away."
And, despite the slightly-abashed hopes of Itachi running into his arms for a comforting hug from his closest friend in the world before departing with a romantic promise in a lightly-kissed ear followed with a smile as he turned and disappeared from Shisui for what might as well have been forever, Shisui only nodded again.
"Excuse me, sir, this is the final call for passengers."
"Right...sorry," he assured, looking back to Shisui, the anxiety in the sharp, now painfully benign obsidian orbs nearly bringing tears to his cousin's eyes.
Itachi wordlessly turned to leave. Shisui felt his abdomen open in a gaping, lonely pit as he forced that wavering smile until Itachi stepped into the grey-toned jetway. Eyes downcast, he almost missed as Itachi called back, "Shisui...thank you," before the door shut Itachi off from Shisui for what might as well have been forever.
Going through the previous list in his mind, Shisui wondered unconfidently wether he had moved up or down on the list.
-o-
"For all you disregard, you may as well have kept that memory locked far away from reality," Itachi muttered over the phone, quietly so his roommate wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night, the timezones painfully differentiated, their distances highlighted by the sleep in Itachi's voice and the voices in the background on Shisui's end. A mirthless laugh echoed loudly into the earpiece and Itachi quickly turned it down, an irritated sigh resounding on the other end. "Did I just piss off He-Who-Can-Not-Be-Pissed-Off?"
"What the Hell does that mean?"
"Nothing," he quickly assured.
The silence after that was a bit dampening, a painful resistance to "Come out with it," as was assured by Shisui's close friend Hana Inuzuka burning the base of his throat. Itachi's infectious venom spread through Shisui's veins as he muttered, "How are you doing? I mean..."
"I know what you mean," Itachi returned quietly, Shisui questioning the sound of shuffling in the background.
The sound of fabric shifting had Shisui's eyebrow arched in confusion, listening intently. What the Hell is he doing...?
Suddenly, "I'm lonely..."
Shisui gaped. "You are?" He was more startled when he heard quiet, mistrusting chuckling coming from the other end of the line.
Through the windowpanes, Itachi gazed up at the black, overcast sky.
"The stars have disappeared, it seems," Itachi murmured with a painful smile.
-o-
A/N: Okay, totally being irresponsible here. I have Haaku12's oneshot to write, a chapter of Oo3 to write, a chapter of BGDC to finish, and a possible follow-up to run to consider. I just keep popping out oneshots like the Duggars, though...WTF?
So, yeah...I hope you guys enjoyed~
Reviews make Itachi confess his true feelings to Shisui. Tell Itachi he should confess! Tell him! Tell him!
XD Actually, if you guys think so, this'll have a follow-up chapter, too.
Love from the Nakano~
