A/N: Hello, lovely readers~

Rating: T

UPDATE: Thank you, Guest II for helping me realize my mistake. Although this won't focus much on romance, it would still be strange for an eleven year old to be amidst the Shinsengumi, yes? She will be a year younger than Canon!Chizuru. Thanks again!

Genre: Humor/Parody

Summary: Becoming one of those SI!OCs isn't all that it's cracked out to be. Especially when your 'self-inserting' Kami put you into a main character of an otome game, causing you to have a bunch of weird (hot) men after you when you're just trying to survive in an era with oni, mad-scientists (never mind that your 'father' is one), zombie-vamps, a long-lost twin, and the Shinsengumi. Fun, yes?

Beta: N/A

Warnings: Weeell... An OC with rather skewed morals...OOC!Chizuru...Language...hot men...y'know.

Updates will be sporadic. School has me in its clutches.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything other than SI!Chi-chan


"That flowing, jet-black hair took my breath away. The snow, fluttering, was illuminated by the moon's light as it fell ... like cherry blossoms flowering out of season."

-Chizuru Yukimura on the topic of Hijikata Toshizo's hair care.


I died. Honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal. I just...died.

You know, it wasn't even a very heroic death. In actuality, it was rather pathetic.

Come on. Who dies choking on a vitamin pill?

Well, apparently, I did.

Anywho, I regained consciousness as a young girl about 10 years old, shopping for my 'father'.

.

.

.

I blinked. Then blinked again.

Around me was an open air market. There were vendors hastily trying to snatch customers and coaxing them to purchase items. Sounds of haggling arose from a silk merchant's stall.

Dust danced in the warm golden light of the afternoon from scuffling feet on the dirt path. The sweet smell of dango permeated the air.

Looking around, the women all had some variation of a kimono on and the men...carried swords.

I peered down at my own clothes. I, too, had on a plain kimono. Hanging from my left arm was a woven basket and my right hand clutched a slip of paper.

Tilting my head, I squinted to read the faint letters. No, pictures?

Wait, was that Kanji? Was I in Japan?

Putting the thought out of my mind, I tried to decipher the Kanji.

"Bread...eggs...milk..." I muttered. Thankfully, I somehow understood the symbols.

Pushing down my shock, I resolved to finish the chores and return to...home before freaking out.

Moving towards a man with a few dozen chickens all squawking and clamoring for the last bit of corn, I put on my best 'little girl' smile and chirped, "Hi, poultryman-san! I wanna chicken that can lay eggs!"

Hey. Don't judge. Carrying around a chicken is easier than holding a dozen eggs, yeah?

On second thought, "Ne, please gimme one that will lay 'em today~" I grinned, tilting my head.

"Heh." The poultryman chuckled, unfolding his arms and taking out one spotted hen from the pen. "Here ya go, little girl. It'll cost ya 423¥."

"E-eh? That pricey?" I pouted, knowing that chicken breasts went for about 239 yen. "C'mon, poultryman-san! It's only one measly chicken, ne?"

The man halfheartedly glared. "Little girl, I'll have ya know that my hens are the best ones around."

I grinned cheekily. "Chickens are chickens, ne?" I bounced up and down on my toes.

After a few moments, the vendor handed me the chicken, grumbling. "Here ya go. She's 398¥ for ya."

I beamed and handed over the allotted amount. "'rigatou, vendor-san~"

Well, my haggling skills are in need of polishing.

Whipping out the list again, I cocked my head at the writing. "Is that...bread?"

Shrugging, I skipped off, chicken safely in the basket. Yes, I know. It'll give out waste. Or in other words, poo and pee.

...Whatever.

I skidded to a stop in front of a bakery, smells of sweet bread wafting up. "Konnichiwa~ I want one loaf of bread!"

The baker nodded and set down a loaf. "That'll be 175.5¥." He waited impatiently.

I frowned, but gave him the money anyway. After all, the sooner I can get ...home, the sooner I can freak out.

Wrapping the loaf of bread in a 'kerchief, I tumbled all the way to the milk seller, tripping over my feet in my haste. The chicken squawked indignantly from her position inside of the basket. "Hush, you." I scolded.

Turning to the milker, I grinned and chimed, "Ne, milker-san! I wanna have a cow too!"

...Cows are wonderful creatures.

The milker chuckled and rose from his position on the bucket. "Little girl, can you even lead one back to your home?"

I pouted, not liking the slight to my strength. "Yep. I sure can."

The man raised a skeptical eyebrow. "...This beauty here is worth 17,737¥. Well?"

I calculated the cost of that subtracted from the amount of money I currently had on my person. Well, it's not enough. Time to take out the big-girl pants.

I gave a pitiful sigh, my eyes watering with unshed tears. "D-demo... I re-really wa-wanted a c-cow... Because...Tou-chan loves drinking milk. Even more than sake! And it was Kaa-chan's anniversary."

...That reason was pathetic. Gah. Seems like I'm a bit rusty.

The milkman huffed. "If it was your mother's anniversary, why didn't your father come with ya?"

I looked down, bangs hiding my eyes. "...She's dead. It's her death day today."

The man flinched, startled. "Oh... Man, I'm sorry, kid." He visibly hesitated before offering in a cautious voice, "I'll give her to ya for 737¥. How 'bout that?"

I sniffed, looking up at him. "Y-you really mean that, milkman-san?"

He scratched his head, clearly uncomfortable. "Y-yeah. And it's Kawaguchi."

I beamed up at him. "Arigatou, Kawaguchi-san!"

Yeah, I know. My morals are clearly skewed. I couldn't care less about this...Kawaguchi, though. He had more than enough cows to sell. On the other hand, my ...father (?) here seems rather poor. I have no idea if that is true, but nonetheless, I'll take what I can get. (And, I just really wanted a cow.)

The milker grinned. "Ah, no problem, kid." He handed me the cow's rope and took the money I offered him.

I grinned and jumped up onto the cow, using the rope as mock-reins. "Giddy-yap!"

The cow twitched, a bit startled. It mooed once, then slowly ambled towards 'home'.

Along the way, I started thinking about my strange predicament. It was really weird... My body seemed to just 'know' where places were.

I think I died, so why am I here running errands? Where am I? What time period am I in?

I was never a really religious person, so I can cut the idea of me being in Heaven or Hell off.

Was I reincarnated?

...Nah.

My hands unconsciously tugged on the makeshift reins, reminding me (and the cow) that I was 'home'.

Looking up, I peered at a rather humble house and front yard. Slipping off of the cow, I lead her into the yard, calling out a soft, "Tadaima."

Pulling the knot into place, I left the cow, placing the chicken down near some kernels of corn and shut the little pen.

I tentatively made my way inside, remembering to kick off my shoes, replacing them with slippers.

"Hello? Anyone in?"

Catching sight of my reflection, I stopped, heading nearer to the large bit of glass.

...Huh? I...don't have brown hair. I have blond.

A-and the eyes...I used to have green eyes. Now? They're doe-like.

I sighed, smiling ironically. "Mattaku..."

...I look like Yukimura Chizuru from this anime. Hakuoki, na?

My eyes shot open. Wait.

I raced towards a wall full of notes. "Find my...father?"

I stood there in shock.

"WHAT?!" No, I refuse. I refuse to become a blood sack and a rather soft-spoken and overall, useless girl.

Okay, Chizuru is very nice and all, but she becomes a living, breathing, sack of blood.

Nope. Nope, nada. Not the life for me!

On top of that, she has a Royal Oni after her hand in marriage.

...Why me? I only have some experience in hand-to-hand combat.

And the story officially starts after five years.

I slowly got myself under control.

Well, that settles it. I am going to become a doctor and learn how to use a katana. ...Didn't Chizuru have a kodachi?

I sighed, resigning myself to this fate.

...I hope I survive.


A/N: Welcome to the end of the first chapter~

Q: Why does the OC take it in rather calmly?

A: Well, she isn't fully digesting the fact that she is in an anime/otome game. Thus, she isn't really in shock. And, there isn't any other choice than to buck up and receive the info like a man...er, woman.

This is rather short, as it is the prologue. I will make it longer after this chapter.

I hope minna-san enjoyed it!

Reviews are love~

-Seiki