Update: 10/22/18 This along with the following chapters have gone under some extra revisions to get rid of mainly spelling and grammar errors, typos, and some awkward wording. Hopefully it's less hard to read now.
A/N: Hello everyone, thanks again for your responses to my last story, it's been much appreciated. I've been busy with pounds of college work, so I haven't been as attentive on this site as I'd like. If you're already bored with this authors note, skip on down to the real story. But if not...
Ok, this story will be a different change of pace. Consider this one to be an experiment. This story was heavily inspired by an old Fanfic I read a while back called, "Theme Song Gone Wrong" by CrazyInSye. I started on it in July around the same time I did "A Warner's Night At The Ballroom". I know the story is dangerously teetering on fanfiction guidelines that bloopers are not allowed, but hey that's me being risky for ya. Rather than this story be just a simple slideshow of bloopers, this will center around the whole experience, the good takes, bad takes, double takes etc... It'll show that even the simplest of short's could end up being most complicated to put together. And what better way to do that than by using one of my personal favorite episodes. I may or may not do more of these in the future slightly depending on what you guys think about it. Looking at this thing now, my feelings are divided from " this was a cool idea" to "what was I thinking?!" So enjoy this glorious train wreck or this disastrous achievement. Also, I do not own Animaniacs. They belong to Warner Bros/Speilberg/ Reugger.
Chapter 1: Scratchy Beards, Prima Donnas, Prop Scarfing, and Ad-Libbing
"Gold Rush"
Summer of 1993
Day 1:
The filming of Gold Rush was done in Auburn State Recreation Area, over 400 miles north of Warner Bros Studios. While the short was already written and directed by a small team at the studio, an on-set assistant director (who requested to remain anonymous) was put in charge for the actual filming in Auburn. He was heavily enforcing the idea of being as authentic to the 1840's gold rush as possible and being as close to the script as possible. He also planned to have this short finished in less than a week. The Warners, however, were less than pleased upon arrival. Not only were they worn out from their rough 5 hour bus ride over to the set, but they found out just after getting off the bus that they were going to be stuck out here until the short was completed, far from any source of advanced civilization; the city of Auburn in their eyes did not count.
"Come on, this will probably only take a day or two" Yakko comforted his grumpy siblings as they walked on set. Cameras were placed far apart from each other. Every possible location to set one up was used; behind trees, on top of cliffs, under rocks, and even on a few woodland animals. Crew members were busily setting up props for different scenes.
"I wish I brought more of those chips with me before we got out here" Wakko complained.
"I wish I brought more tanning lotion and makeup, anyone can tell these pale faces were not meant to be exposed to California heat!" Dot whined.
"Hey be more positive about this." the eldest sibling responded.
"Follow this guys example" The trio stopped next to their co-star "Claim Jumping Jake", grumpily leaning against the side of a steel trailer. He was one of the workers the Warner's befriended back on the studio.
"Hey, Jake ol' pal! How ya feeling?" Yakko called out. The man groaned as he wiped a bead of sweat from his head.
"How am I feeling?! I'm sweating like a hog in this heat, these old-timey clothes are riding up in uncomfortable places, and this beard I had to overgrow is getting itchy!" he responded irritably.
"I feel just peachy" he added before walking off.
After a brief pause, Yakko turned back to his siblings who did not look the least bit convinced.
"See he has the right idea. Oh, and look over there" Yakko pointed to a table filled with refreshments along with a cosmetics woman who was busy unloading her cargo from a nearby bus. The sight made both of his siblings brighten up immediately. Wakko's mouth started to water while Dot got on her knees.
"Our prayers have been answered!" she cheered dramatically.
"Alright everyone, get in place! We're about to start shooting." The sound of the director bellowing through a megaphone got their attention. Everyone moved out-of-the-way as the cameras started rolling. The Warner's sat back in a few chairs as they watched the first scene take place.
[Scene 1 Take 1]
The first shot was a slow panoramic view across the California countryside. In the shot included Sutter's Mill off to one side and herd of roaming buffalo on the other side. It actually turned out perfect… until the cowboys came in the shot.
"Ohhh, hear the crickets and the froggies, get along you little doggies…" both sang. The first cowboy's voice was tone-deaf while the other one was cracking uncontrollably. Behind the camera, the Warner's cringed at bad it sounded. Oddly enough, the horses singing along were the best ones in the entire scene. But, it somehow managed to get worse.
"I, love riding on the ranges, where nothing ever changes…" The 3rd cowboy came in screeching completely off-key. His singing was occasionally interrupted by the sound of squealing feedback from the microphone.
"Uh… doesn't this need a reshoot?" Yakko whispered.
"Don't worry, Paulsen, Harnell, and McKean will dub their voices in afterwards. These guys are just actors, not singers." the director responded. Yakko simply shrugged as he continued to witness the three-part cacophony.
Next up was a spinning aerial shot controlled by a small camera placed on the back of a bird that flew around the cowboys, giving a good view of the landscape around them.
"It's peaceful and pretty, But you can keep the city, just give me lots of land and fresh air" All three of cowboys suddenly fainted, completely green-faced.
"Cut! What happened?" the director barked. The three cowboys lifted up an arm and pointed to the herd of grazing buffalo off the far side.
"That happened" All three of them weakly croaked. It took a few whiffs from the crew to fully realize what just occurred. All three of the Warners pinched their red noses.
"Oh that's disgusting!" exclaimed Wakko!
"God, who sliced the greens and fava beans, just the thing we needed to start this off," Yakko answered.
It's just like Wakko on chili night!" Dot spat disgustedly. The director nearly went green faced himself as he took off his cap fanning the smell.
"Whew, alright guys let's get those buffalo out of here!" he commanded breathlessly.
[Scene 1 Take 2]
"It's peaceful and pretty, But you can keep the city, just give…" The aerial shot was repeated again. While cowboys didn't faint this time, the bird filming the scene had a delayed reaction to the buffalo incident and plummeted to the ground, ruining the whole thing.
"Cut!"
[Scene 1 Take 3]
"...But you can keep the city, just give me lots of land and fresh air" This time, the current shot along with the rest of the scene went off without any more errors.
"Don't want a lot of faces just wide open spaces, where nobody's rich but who cares" the three cowboys continued to "sing" as they turned their pockets inside out.
"Oh hear the crickets and the froggies, get along you little doggies" One of the cowboys picked up a piece of gold near them.
Look I found a piece of gold" he sang, his tone-deaf voice completely exposed.
"Yep he found a piece of gold" the others sang in response.
"Yep, I found a piece of…"
"Gold!" The trio of cowboys exclaimed in unison just shortly before they dodged out-of-the-way of an oncoming stagecoach, but got run by another one. This was actually part of the script so there was no harm done.
"Cut! Great job guys! On to the next scene" the director said. The cowboys immediately got up and walked off. He turned to the Warners behind them.
"You tell Jake to get ready, he's up next."
"See? What did I tell ya? At the rate this is going this short will be done by sundown. Hate to sound cliché, but what could go wrong?" Yakko spoke cheerfully.
Meanwhile, the director was overlooking the set for the next scene.
"Okay, bring up those inflatable buildings" he commanded. All around the entire set, several buildings literally popped up from the ground. Unfortunately, several of them grew so big they exploded. The man facepalmed at this accident.
"Don't worry, we have some spare ones in the trailer." he sighed.
"On second thought, uh… maybe not" Wakko answered, imitating his brothers catchphrase.
"Hey, that's my bit!" Yakko replied.
"Well judging how this is turning out so far, you were going to say it sooner or later." Dot retorted.
"Guys go!" the director turned around in a frustrated tone. The Warners quickly zipped off without hesitation.
[Scene 2 Take 1]
This scene opened up with another panoramic shot of the entire countryside being littered with new buildings, giving an exaggerated visual on how fast the gold rush developed. The camera panned over to the right to show Jake picking away at the side of a hill.
"I've been pecking at this hill for two weeks and I ain't found nothing" Jake complained while scratching his beard.
"Cut! Good one, but try not to scratch your beard. It's distracting." the director answered from behind the camera.
"That's because it's itchy!" Jake replied, still scratching it.
"Tough, you agreed to get in character no matter what it takes. Now let's try it again"
[Scene 2 Take 2]
"I've been pecking at this hill for two weeks and I ain't found nothing." Jake tossed the pickaxe against the rock and a real gold nugget fell in his hands. He looked up with a large grin on his face. "Hey, my weekly bonus!"
"Cut! You wish, toss it." the director spat back. Jake tossed it aside with a dejected scowl.
[Scene 2 Take 3]
"…for two weeks and I ain't found nothing!" The next shot cut over to the other side of the hill where a pile of gold and pick axes were scattered on the ground, but no Warners. Nothing happened except awkward silence.
"Oh my god Warners you're on!" the director yelled out. Suddenly the chattering Warners appeared, running into the shot. Yakko sported a cowboy hat while his sister had on a brown buckskin outfit. Wakko had on his normal clothes.
"Sorry about that, I had to get a run out of my stocking" Dot apologized.
" It takes you 30 minutes to do that?" Yakko answered.
[Scene 2 Take 4]
The Warners showed up in the next shot giggling as they took out small nuggets on the other side of the hill.
"Oh, this is a good one" Dot chirped happily.
"Kinda tiny," said Yakko as he held one out for Wakko to see. He placed it in his hand.
" Go put it …" His sentence was interrupted by Wakko swallowing the thing whole.
"Deelicous!" he said happily.
"Cut! Wakko, don't eat the props!" the director called out.
"But I'm hungry!"
[Scene 2 Take 5]
"Go put it with the…" This time, Wakko didn't eat the nugget, instead, he saved that for a muffin he pulled out of his hat.
"Cut!"
"What? this muffin isn't a prop, it's my breakfast!" A loud groan from the director could be heard as he finished it off.
[Scene 2 Take 8]
"Go put…" Wakko ate it again.
"Wakko!"
"Wakko that was real gold!" Yakko exclaimed.
"Gee, it tastes just like Pixie sticks" Wakko replied before sticking out his glittering gold tongue. His younger sister simply facepalmed at this.
[Scene 2 Take 13]
"Go put it with the others" Wakko, after nine takes, finally did the correct action by casually tossing it aside into a wheelbarrow filled with gold. Unfortunately, this also caused it to start rolling away.
"Oh no! runaway cart!" Dot yelled. The director shrieked as he began to run away, the cart was heading right towards him. He was a moment too late as the pile of gold toppled over him.
"Cut…" he responded weakly. A few hours later, everything was put back in place along with a few rocks placed in front of the wheelbarrow to keep it from moving.
[Scene 2 Take 14]
This time around, Wakko opened his mouth but then he immediately remembered to toss the nugget into the now stationary wheelbarrow. The next shot cut back to Jake looking over from behind the rocks.
"Gold. They's found gold." Jake said while scratching his beard.
"Cut! Jake; the beard." the director answered slightly annoyed.
"Oh, sorry"
"It's fine, and be a little more energetic this time around"
[Scene 2 Take 15]
Gold! They's found gold!" Jake gasped without scratching his beard. The camera zoomed in on his envious face as money bags appeared within his eyes.
"Excellent! Nice bit with the eyes Jake. Moving on!" Up next, the Warners were picking at the side of the cliff while Jake off in a distance, ran down the hill and right towards the trio. His feet screeched to a halt right next to them.
"What, you actually thought he'd slide right into the camera?" Yakko said aloud before he realized he just screwed up the scene. Both Jake and Dot glared at him.
Cut!" the director slapped his hand on his face. "No, but I thought you would say your correct line!"
[Scene 2 Take 16]
This part of the scene was repeated again with Jake stopping before he waved a friendly hello to the Warners.
"How do there cute little children?" he greeted happily. He snickered wheezily to himself in order to show that his character was about to pull a fast one over Warners.
"Oh Look! A…" Yakko began to say before he and his other siblings burst into a fit of laughter.
"What are you doing? Stop Laughing!"
"Well stop doing your hilarious impression of Muttley !" he laughed.
[Scene 2 Take 20]
"How do there cute little children?" This time Yakko ignores his snickering.
"Oh, look an old miner, AKA possible special friend" he answered completely ignoring the director's word.
[Scene 2 Take 21]
"…It's Mr. tall dark haired and chubby"
[Scene 2 Take 25]
"…Look, it's the love child of Yosemite Sam and Bluto!"
Hey!" Jake responded in offense.
"Cut! Yakko could you please stop ad-libbing and stick to the script? You're slowing things down." the director complained.
"Compared to what's on the script, I think what I'm doing is an improvement." Yakko retorted.
"Yakko…"
"Just kidding!"
[Scene 2 Take 26]
"... Look, a crotchety old miner" said Yakko, finally moving the scene forward.
"You know I couldn't help but hear that you're looking for big chunks of gold" Jake answered innocently.
"You know where we can find any?" asked Wakko.
"Cut! Alright Wakko, your head camera ready?" the director interrupted the scene for a moment. Wakko nodded and lifted up his hat to reveal a large hand-held camera underneath.
"Good, and action!" Up next was an extreme close up shot that came directly from Wakko's camera.
"As a matter of fact, I does," Jake responded as he leaned into the camera, giving a devilish smile. This was a little too close for Wakko, he made his signature gookie face and fell on his back.
"Wakko are you all right?" a concerned Dot asked.
"Yuck, you've got bad breath!" he croaked disgustedly as he sat up.
"Ain't my fault, the director said it would be more authentic to real miners" Jake explained with his arms crossed. After a few minutes of getting Wakko back on his feet, they resumed shooting.
"There's big chunks of gold where I was digging..." Jake explained while pointing over to the spot where he was earlier.
As soon as he said that, a large explosion happened, catching everyone off guard.
"What the hell?!" both Jake and the director shouted in unison.
"And there goes the first swear on this set," Yakko said slyly.
Sorry!" A female voice called out from a distance, who the Warners instantly recognized as Slappy Squirrel's.
"Just getting rid of some leftover props from my last short, Frontier Slappy!"
[Scene 2 Take 27]
"…I'll trade places with you okay?"
"Gee Thanks" Yakko chirped happily. All three of the Warners put on gas masks just before they climbed upon Jake and kissed him.
"Cut!" the director barked.
"But Wakko wasn't kidding when he said his breath smells" Dot whined.
"Don't care, lose the masks!" The trio groaned as they began to redo the scene.
[Scene 2 Take 28]
This time the Warners did the kiss correctly without using the gas masks. The weight of all three of the siblings caused Jake to topple over. They ran over to the wheelbarrow and whisked it away. They barely made it a few feet before the tower of gold fell right on top of them. The trio's heads popped out of the gold seemingly unharmed but very peeved at Jake, who still on the ground, was laughing at them.
[Scene 2 Take 30]
After a few failed takes, the entire part of the scene finally played out as intended. After kissing Jake, the Warners took the wheelbarrow and whisked it over to the other side of the hill.
"Dumb kids, they fell for it." Jake gloated. "Oh, I'm a smarty, a Ow!" A falling rock that landed square on his head interrupted his line. A large lump appeared on top of his head.
"More like you've got a smarty!" Wakko joked off-screen. Both Jake and Wakko's siblings groaned at his corny joke.
[Scene 2 Take 31]
"…Oh, I'm a smarty, a rich old smarty" Jake recited his correct line before he began to pick at the side of the hill.
"Yay!" The trio cheered off-screen. A new shot revealed that they had found larger pieces of gold at the spot where he was.
"That's a pretty one!" Dot chirped excitedly. The Warners struggled to hold their prop gold nuggets, which were still just as heavy as real ones.
"N-now that's a gold nug…!" Yakko could barely finish his line as he and the others collapsed under the weight of the nuggets.
Cut!" the directed sighed.
"Get some invisible wires on those things."
[Scene 2 Take 32]
"Now that's a gold nugget!" Yakko said while holding one of the now-suspended gold nuggets.
"Wait, Stop!" Dot dropped her hands and left her nugget floating in the air.
"What is it?"
"My skirts all dusty, I gotta change out" she complained as she ran off.
"Oh god, Dot get back here!" the director hung his head back in annoyance.
"Prima Donna." Yakko said flatly as Dot spent the next 30 minutes making herself decent.
[Scene 2 Take 33]
This time around the scene played out as intended with all three of them holding up their gold nuggets. The next shot cut back to a dumbfounded Jake who was scratching his beard.
"Jake, stop scratching it!" the director growled irritably.
[Scene 2 Take 34]
Jake did the correct motion as he dropped the pickaxe in his hand before facepalming, causing his bushy beard to bounce into his face. He let out a frustrated growl and ran back towards the other side of the hill. The Warners were tossing their golden payload into the wheel when Jake stood right in front of them.
"Now wait just a god damn minute…!" He immediately clamped his mouth after realizing his slip up. Wakko keeled over laughing while a shocked Dot grabbed Jake's tongue and rubbed it with a bar of soap.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Fowlmouth's legal guardian!" Yakko proudly announced. Another loud groan from the director came out as he realized this scene was taking longer than expected.
"Oh my god, Cut!
[Scene 2 Take 35]
"Now wait just a…" This time Jake cut himself off as he noticed soap bubbles coming out of his mouth.
[Scene 2 Take 36]
"Now wait just a dag burned minute! I'm taking all this gold here for me." Jake finished his line, minus the soap bubbles. He grabbed the Warners and carried them over to the edge of the mountain.
At the same time, the director murmured "Get the bird ready" to one of the crew members. The camera bird used for the aerial shot earlier hovered directly above them.
"Now get off this mountain and don't come back" With a swift chuck, he tossed all three of them off the mountain. The above ground shot from the bird came quickly afterwards.
"Whoa!" All the Warners screamed as they fell down… and quickly came right back up, so quick they actually collided with the bird, showering Jake with feathers.
"Cut! What are you doing?!" the director asked angrily.
"Sorry, but we just couldn't resist a bungee jump opportunity," Wakko confessed while and his siblings showed off their coiled up tails.
"Follow the script! When you go down, stay down!"
Yakko blew a kiss after his statement.
"Goodnight everybody!" he joked while Wakko giggled.
"Boys..." Dot commented on her brother's immaturity.
[Scene 2 Take 37]
This time the Warners repeated their part correctly. They fell down the mountain and splashed into a river below. At the bottom of the mountain, the trio appeared soaking wet in the water.
"Of course you realize this means Warners!" Yakko yelled while shaking a fist.
"Yakko, no ad-libs!" the director demanded.
[Scene 2 Take 38]
Wakko looked down at his soaked clothes and lifted up his ascot.
My ascot!" said Wakko.
"Your as-cot wet?" Yakko asked suggestively.
"Yeah, it did" Wakko answered as he rubbed his behind. Dot immediately went wide-eyed at the slight double entendre her brothers made.
"So many pottymouth's today!" She complained as she grabbed both of her brothers tongues in one hand, and a bar of soap in another.
[Scene 2 Take 39]
"Watch this!" Wakko stuck his head in the water creating thousands of bubbles. Behind the camera, the director banged his head on a nearby speaker.
[Scene 2 Take 40]
"I think we just met today's special friend," said Yakko, finishing the scene.
"Alright, that's it for today. I need a drink" the director sulked off tiredly.
"Hey, you guys alright down there?" Jake shouted from the top of the mountain.
"Sure! We're fine" Wakko responded back.
"It's not every day we let our antagonist try to kill us off" Dot added innocently.
"It's okay, wait till he sees what he's in for tomorrow." said Yakko with a playful smile.
Later on that evening, everyone retired to their trailers for the night. The Warners slept in a large yellow and red steel trailer, similar to the color scheme to their water tower. Each sibling had their own bed to sleep in. They all went to bed feeling that tomorrow would run a bit smoother than today. However, fate had other plans the next day.
