This Good-bye is for You
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Major Crimes; James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.
A/N: When Sharon gets bad news, she decides to handle it alone leaving Andy hurt, angry and confused. Putting his detective skills to good use, he pieces together the long-distance clues she leaves him.
A/N2: The illness is secondary; primary is their love and the way it changes them for the better. {This veers away from canon.}
A/N3: Enjoy! Leave a review if y'all's feel so inclined; they are ever so lovely to read. #TodayIsLife
~~~~~PT~~~~~
Within a week of relocating, Sharon Raydor had set up her appointments, joined a support group and explored her new neighborhood. What she hadn't done was spoken to her fiancé, Andy Flynn. Finding herself unable to speak directly with him, she couldn't answer his calls. Her heart breaking as she listened to his tearful-sounding voicemails, she found herself unable to call him back. The most she managed were text messages: on the third day, she apologized for hurting him; on the fifth day, she said that was never her intention; and on that day, the seventh day, she slipped and hit send on the text that said she loved him and missed him. He replied immediately, "Then please come home." The tears fell swiftly and she felt like throwing the phone but it was her last remaining connection to the man she would love the rest of her days.
She had a group Skype video chat that evening with all three of her children. The last one had been on her first day in her new home; only this wasn't her home, didn't feel like it anyway, and probably never would. She'd told them then what she expected of each of them when it came to Andy; his feelings, his questions, and his sense of loss absent any information to lead him to a better understanding regarding what she had done, why she had left. On that night she repeated it to ensure they followed her orders, and they were orders.
"I don't want any of you to lie to Andy but don't offer information either. If he gets something correct, let him know but don't add to it."
When they all started disagreeing with her, wanting to tell Andy exactly what was going on, as they had in that first call on that first night, she raised a hand and instantly shut them down. "I love him and I miss him. That will never change. I will never stop feeling that way about Andy."
She held up her left hand, pointed to the engagement ring she still wore and added, "I want nothing more than to marry that man but I think this way is best for him."
As the tears began to slip past her lashes, she tried to wipe them away before her children could bear witness to the amount of pain she was in; before they could tell her that her fiancé was hurting even more.
"Be honest with him when he gets something correct; keep everything else to yourselves until he figures it out. And he will figure things out, of that I have no doubt."
Touching the engagement ring, "I'm doing this for Andy but I don't expect any of you to understand that. I don't expect him to either. But always remember that in the end, I love him and I'm doing this for him."
Before the torrent of tears fell, she closed her laptop. Laying down on the love seat, clutching the pillow to her chest, she let herself grieve for a relationship she had killed herself. The pain tore through her entire body. It offered no cleanse, no promise of future improvement, and no end. It was hers. She'd brought it on herself. She'd hurt others. On that night, she embraced the pain. It showed she was still alive, still in love, and might still have a chance.
~~~~~# # #~~~~~
Andy went to the bar that night to feel. He honestly didn't want a drink; it would numb him and he wanted nothing more than to feel a different kind of pain.
His heart hurt more than he'd thought possible since Sharon left. He cried every day, even if only for the few minutes he allowed. He worked himself to exhaustion.
Drinking his cranberry-and-soda, he mouthed back to the guy who made fun of his choice of beverage. The punch hit him square in the face. Seeing the blood, feeling the pain, he goaded the guy. With each punch, as more blood flowed, the physical pain he craved increased. It wasn't just his heart anymore. He hurt all over now and he was grateful to that stranger. He was grateful to feel something other than the intense loss of the woman he loved without so much as an explanation beyond that she was doing this for him. He'd never understand her thinking on that one.
~~~~~# # #~~~~~
As they each lay in their separate beds in different cities, the other crossed their minds. Andy had cleaned up as much of the damage from the beating as he could and lay down only out of necessity. He had to at least try to be at full strength if he expected to continue bringing his A-game to his work.
After the conversation with her children, her cleansing cry over, Sharon had thought about what to have for dinner only to discover she was without an appetite as she stood by the stove. Sitting on the bed, she decided to read until she was able to fall asleep, hoping not to dream.
But dream, she did. Flashes of she and Andy on their first date, talking as friends preparing to move on to something more, were the first images invading her subconscious. As they walked to her door after their first date at Serve, there was a moment of uncertainty about how they should say good night. Having never experienced that problem before, Andy just wrapped his arms around Sharon and told her he looked forward to taking her out on another date.
Their first kiss was the next sequence. They'd decided to take it slow and so the kisses were chaste at first, growing in passion as time marched on. But they had yet to share a truly intimate kiss. One night after dinner at her place, as they were standing in each other's arms on her balcony, Sharon decided it was time to change that. Turning around, she snuggled closer to him and began softly kissing his neck. As his first moan reached her ears, her tongue began following the trail of her lips. Another moan and his lips were on her neck repeating her actions. Before they knew it, they were kissing as they usually did with open mouths but, on this occasion, she deepened it. As the warm wind blew on them, their tongues danced and their hands explored a little more than was normal. Moving back moments later, she offered him tea. He accepted with a smile, realizing that slow was the perfect pace for them because it made her feel more comfortable with him.
Sharon woke with a start, reaching for her phone. Andy had texted her. Reading it, she chose not to reply right then and ambled to the kitchenette to make some tea.
[TBC]
