Disclaimer: All characters portrayed in this story belong to Joss Whedon and not me.
It had been three long months since his death. Three long, tearful months. Everyone was affected. Willow, Xander, Anya, Dawn, Giles and especially Buffy. Everyone refrained from mentioning his name for fear of upsetting someone. But whenever the situation did arise, there were always moments of silence.
His crypt had been taken care of. Each item carefully packed and now rest in the Summers' basement. Dawn refused to visit his lair. He had died trying to protect her and she couldn't handle that. She was responsible. Buffy too was brought to tears and often wept silently. She found herself near the crypt every time she patrolled. She would start on one side of Sunnydale and wind up back at the crypt. His death was the worse of them all. Angel's death and even her mother's were not as bad as his. Yes, Angel's death did hurt but he received a second chance because he had a soul. And her mother, Buffy often thought, died a natural death. She had lead a good life, although cut short, and was now in heaven, waiting for them. But his death was different. He died protecting someone who shouldn't have needed his help. She should have been there to help him, help them all. What made her weep the most was that he was probably burning in hell for his earlier crimes, when he didn't deserve to be. That was what tore Buffy's heart apart. But she couldn't do anything to help him. She had to face it, Spike was dead.
She had kept a few reminders of him. No one knew, why did they have to know? Every night, before she fell asleep, she took out his long leather coat and lay it on her bed. She often used it as a blanket at night. A sort of shield from the bad memories. The smell and touch of it made her smile, if only for a moment. It was as if he had never left her. But then, her thoughts would turn to other things. She often dreamt of how she had refused their love for so long. Denied it every chance she had. It must have made his heart ache she thought. Now he was gone. If only she hadn't gone on that vacation. What might have happened? Would he still be here, lying in bed with her? Watching her sleep as he held her close.
Every day was a battle. There was always something to fight or kill or destroy. But the thoughts of the group always went back to him. Finally after three months, they decided to have a proper burial for him. Giles had collected Spike's remains and they lay in an urn on the mantle. Next to it was a small painting of him, since vampires couldn't be caught in a photograph. Xander had painted it, as a sign of respect. It was of Spike standing in the sunlight with his arms outstretched, looking towards the sky smiling. Buffy liked it immediately. She didn't say it, but she gave her approval with a smile and a hug to Xander.
The burial would be in two days. Anya and Willow had taken care of everything. His remains would be buried in the Sunnydale Cemetery. A small plot had been chosen by the two young women. They had asked Buffy's opinion but she just shrugged and said it was up to them. It didn't matter where he was buried, as long as it was done right.
Giles usually kept to himself, even more than usual. It seemed like he had lost something. Confidence? Only he knew. That night would stay in his head until the day he died. If only he had attacked Ethan Rayne first. Or if he had done one simple thing different. His mind was a buzz with questions and guilt. It seemed he didn't trust himself anymore. When Buffy would ask for advice, he never gave a straight answer. He would just let her find her own solution. If he gave her advice and something went wrong, he couldn't live with that. He had also developed a strong emotional bond with Dawn. They had become closer without knowing it. If she needed to be baby sat or needed help in any way, Giles was there. It was his way of protecting her.
It seemed Spike's death affected everyone, in some way or another.
