Prologue
Dear Journal,
I really don't know how I feel right now and that is strange to me because I have always known how I felt about someone. I have never been this confused and frustrated in my life. I wish I could figure out why I feel this way about him, but I can't. It's not like I know much about him really. All I know is the things that have been written in newspapers and magazines. He is a rockstar and yet he actually wants to talk to me. I don't get it. I'm just a Lima-Loser.
It's not like I don't want to be friends with him because I would love to be friends with him, but I'm afraid of ruining his reputation. He can't hang out with the only gay kid in the school, it would be hell for him. It's bad enough that I have to put up with all the crap from the football players and the rest of the stupid kids, I couldn't imagine it happening to him.
But I really like him a lot and he seems to be really sweet and honest. I want to know him personally, not from what I have read and heard about him. I see the way he looks at me, it's like he feels the same way. I doubt that though he's straight for sure, he has to be. If he was gay he would have told the world by now and clearly he hasn't.
God, why does he have to be so fucking adorable? He has the most amazing curly hair, that I just want to run my hands through all day long. His smile is to die for and it lights up a room. He has the most gorgeous chocolate brown eyes and when you look into them you cannot help but fall to peices.
The boy I had to fall head over heels in love with is Nick Jonas. Yes that's right, the one and only Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. I some how want to know him personally and want more than anything to be with him.
