A/N: I know, you're like "Hoo… Wow, like this hasn't been done before!" Well tough! I haven't done one, and I wanna. BWA HA HA HA!! I own nothing!!! BTW this is totally random, so flame only if you feel it's neccisary.
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*All appear in an auditorium (By 'all' I mean anyone I can think of)
Harry:…. What are we doing in this place?
Minerva: Shh… quiet Potter!
Harry: *timidly* Why?
Minerva: BECAUSE I SAID SO!
Harry: *gulp*
Ron: Keep your frilly knickers on!
Minerva: WEAS—
*BIG BOOM*
*Chaser (me duh….) appears on stage in big cloud of purple smoke*
Chaser: BWA HA HA!!! YOU ARE ALL MY PLAY THINGS!
Hermione: Er… *twirls finger at side of head* Psycho…
Cho: Um… Who ARE you?
Harry: *melts* yeeaahh….
Ron: uh… Yeah! Yeah? Yeah!
Minerva:….
Chaser: *gasps* Cho Chang!!
Cho: *blushes* Yeah, it's me…
Chaser: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!
Cho: *explodes*
Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *lunges madly at moi*
Chaser: *holds hand out* Stop.
Harry: *freezes in midair*
Chaser: *under quailing look of everybody* Good! Guess what?!
All:……
Chaser: GUESS!!!!!
All:… What?….
Chaser: We're gonna have a talent show!!! YAY!!!!!!!! *smiles similar to Mihoshi* (Mihoshi is from Tenchi Muyo *sigh*)
All: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! *Harry's still frozen, but he just looks at me helplessly*
Chaser: Oh yeah… Sorry Harry… *waves at him*
Harry: *Face meets ground* Owwwie….
Chaser: Hermione? You first! *grins wickedly*
Hermione: No!
Chaser: Yes!
Hermione: No!
Chaser: Yes infinity! Ha! Go!
Hermione: No infinity two! Ha, make Harry go first!
Chaser: Aww… shoot. Hit the stage, Harry.
Harry: But I don't wanna!
Draco: But I don't wanna! Honestly, He's such a baby! I'LL go first!
Chaser: *googly eyes* OOOOKAAAAAAAY! *grins wickedly*
Draco: *pouts* Don't do that! It scares me!
Chaser: *raises eyebrow* I'll scare you!
Suddenly, when Draco is walking up to the stage, he is tight leather pants.
Draco: AAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!!!!! NO No No!!!
Chaser: Yes yes yes! And you'll perform in them too!
Draco: Fine… Just to show you all that I can, I will! Now what do I have to do?
Chaser: Sing
Draco: What?
Chaser: A song.
Draco: What song?
Chaser: This Kiss
Draco: By Faith Hill?
Chaser: Yup.
Draco: NOO!!
Pansy: *blinks trying to bat eyelashes* For me Drakie? Hmm?
Draco: NOO!!
Hermione: *flutters eyelashes beautifully* For me, Draco?
Draco: Well… Okay!
Draco: *takes deep breath* I don't want another heart break
I don't need another turn to cry…
*later*
This kissThis kiss
It's criminal
This kiss
This kiss
Draco: *let's out long whoosh of air* Phew… I'm done! Hermione: Oh it was beautiful, Draco!
Hermione leaps up stage and kisses Draco.
Draco: *after kiss* Can you give me new pants now?
Draco's pants loosen, but they're still leather
Draco: better than nothing…
Chaser: You Hermione!!!! *quails under harsh look* Y-You can introduce our next singer!
Hermione: *all smiles* Let's *hic* have *hic* Dippy Minerva!!! *hic*
Ginny: I think she had to much butterbeer…
Snape: Dippy Minerva *sweat drop* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Minerva: GRR!!!!!!!
Minerva tackles Snape to the ground and tries to strangle him. Snape laughs the entire time.
Snape: HAHAHAHA!!!!!! DIPPY MINERVA!!!!!!
Minerva: GRR!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M PERFORMING NEXT! And I'm making up my own song!!!!
Chaser: *hides with everyone else* Ok…
Minerva: There once was a boy, and his name was Snape,
He got caught on video eating a snake,
Now he's all dumb cause I throttled him to death,
And dung is the smell of his breath!
Snape: I can't take this!
There once was a girl, and her name was Minerva
She's a freak, we call her Dumb-Erva
And now she smells of dragons breathe
because she tried to throttle me to death!
Everyone gasps…
Snape: I'm
Minerva: I'm
Snape and Minerva: Sorry…
Snape and Minerva kiss, and disappear. Everyone stares wide eyed.
All: Woooooooooowie…
Remus Lupin: If I go crazy,
Then will you still call me superman,
If I'm alive and well,
Will you be there holding my hand?
Chaser: Wow… I didn't even know you were here, Remus.
Remus: You should've. After all, you are the author.
Chaser: Oh yeah…
Remus: Riiiiight…
All: Yeah…
Remus disappears.
Pansy: He left, why can't we?
Chaser: Because I like Remus. He isn't bratty, so I decided to let him go.
Pansy: No fair!
Chaser: Shut up pug faced brat!
Pansy: Shut up… person!
Ron: Aww… Keep your frilly knickers on, will ya!?
Harry and Hermione: Once is enough and funny. Especially with McGonnagall. But twice with Pansy is dumb…. Sorry.
Ron: Fine! Keep your poopy knickers on!
Pansy blushes madly while everyone roars with laughter.
Pansy: Is it that obvious?
Everyone roars with laughter, and is rolling on the ground gasping for air. Ron is laughing the hardest.
Chaser: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pansy disappears.
All: Hey, why'd ya do that?
Chaser: Because I can. That's why.
All: Oh……
Chaser: Hermione will you please go next? PWEEZE?!
Hermione: All's ya had to do was ask nicely!
She walks up and stands with her back on the audience.
Hermione: *turns her head towards the audience*
Get your freak onGet your freak on
Get your freak on
Get your freak on
Lavender in the background: Get your fuh-REAK on…
All: Cool!
Hermione finishes the song, and beams.
Chaser: Okay the talent show is finished.
All: Just like that?
Chaser: Yup. All I wanted was to hear Hermione sing a bad girl song!
All: *gasps* WHY WE OUTTA—!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone tackles Chaser as she tries to run out of a magically appearing door. Then everyone starts beating the crap out of her.
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Chaser's House
Mom: What happened to you?!
Chaser: *Owwie… * I got in a fight…
Mom: But your bruised all over!
Chaser: There lotsa peoples out to get me…
Mom: Oh my! I think I should go to the school!
Chaser: They weren't from my school. They was a bunch of British people, and they left right after nearly killing me.
Mom: Oh… Well, I'm sure you deserved it!
Mom whips Chaser with a wet towel as she walks by
Chaser: OW!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The End. You probably all want to flame. I understand. But I had fun writing this, so… Wasn't this just the tinniest bit funny?
All: No
Chaser: Oh… Please review! Flame, anything! Please review!!!!!
