A is for Anguish
"Believe in them, and walk whatever paths to fulfill them! And someday, surely your dreams shall be realized! Well then... Farewell!"
She couldn't, and refused to, blink. Even if she closed her eyes for one second then he would be gone. It was hard to believe, even though it was happening right in front of her. He was truly leaving.
N mounted Reshiram, giving Touko one last smile, a smile that seemed to radiate sadness and regret, before flying away into the pitch black night. Even Mother Nature refused to lighten up the situation; all the stars hanging in the sky were covered by grey clouds.
She stood still, unable to move, until Reshiram had flown out of sight. Only then did she run, dashing to the edge of the pathway. The giant hole that Reshiram had created when it entered the castle was the only evidence remaining that it had been there. Her eyes scanned the dark sky, hoping to catch a glimpse of the vast white Pokémon; at least then she would have a vague idea of where N was headed. However, the sky was just an immense mass of darkness; no stars and no moonlight, everything was covered by clouds.
Touko's legs slid out from under her due to exhaustion and she sat on the floor, staring at the gaping hole. Her gaze eventually wandered from the sky toward the carpeted floor. A sparkle of light reflected off of something on the carpet, catching Touko's attention. Reaching out her hand, she grasped the object and stared. It was the keychain N always had on him!
Clutching the keychain in her hand, she closed her eyes as her heart began to beat faster and memories resurfaced. N had never actually told her what the keychain meant or why he always carried it, only saying it was a souvenir. He had even offered to give it to her, that day on the Ferris wheel, before he told her he was the King of Team Plasma.
Hearing him say that had hurt her deeply; she hadn't known how to respond. Without knowing, she had given him her trust, placing it delicately in his hands, and he had thrown it out without a second glance back. She had enjoyed talking to him as it provided a way for her to get to know him more and to understand the reasons behind wanting to liberate all Pokémon. When he told her he was the King of Team Plasma, she felt betrayed; that she was only an obstacle that he needed to remove in his quest of liberation. She couldn't believe that she had started to consider him as a friend...
"Touko, are you all right?"
Her bright blue eyes snapped open and looked around, absorbing her surroundings. For a fraction of a second, she had forgotten where she was and what had happened. Turning her head, she spotted Cheren hurrying toward her, worry etched into the lines of his face.
Slowly, she got up off the ground, clutching the Keychain tightly and moved toward Cheren. Somehow it felt hard for her to move, as if her legs were dragging two cinderblocks with them. An odd feeling of pain pounded in her chest as teardrops formed in her eyes.
"Did N hurt you Touko?" Cheren demanded as she stopped before him, shoulders shaking with unshed tears.
She shook her head and kept silent, looking back at the hole in the wall. "He's gone, Cheren. He didn't even bother telling me where he planned to go."
Disdain immediately filled his navy blue eyes and his mouth curved into a frown. He never trusted N, not even before N had told Touko the truth. Cheren had found N strange and his ideals peculiar. He had only believed strength was what was needed to win Pokémon battles until he met Alder. Now that he learned there was to life to just winning Pokémon battles, he still couldn't understand N's reasoning. Cheren learned that some people, like him, grew together with Pokémon. When one becomes stronger, so does the other.
He knew Touko never agreed with N's ideals in the first place, that much he figured but he couldn't figure out why she cared for him so much. After all, it was because of N and his ideals that Bianca had her Musharna taken away in the first place.
"C'mon Touko, everyone is waiting for you back at the Pokémon League," Cheren stated. Alder had already left with Ghetsis, leaving him to get Touko.
"I'm not going, Cheren. I want to stay here for a while longer," Touko replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
He was torn between letting her stay and forcefully taking her with him. Why would she still want to be here, after all that had happened?
"Please Cheren. I'll meet you back at home, I promise," she added, a pleading tone beneath her unemotional sounding voice.
Reluctantly, Cheren walked down the flight of stairs and left Touko alone in the Castle. The rooms that once held many Plasma grunts were now abandoned, having fled when Ghetsis was captured and N flew away.
Only the sound of the wind echoing around the empty room filled the silence. She didn't speak or move, only standing there, staring.
"Why did you have to leave? Alder has forgiven you; once people know that Ghetsis was the one behind the entire scheme, they'll surely forgive you. Please come back, N!"
Silently, tears started running down her face as she continued staring at the dark empty sky, her hold on the Keychain becoming tighter and tighter. It made no sense for her to feel this way, did it?
She knew the truth about her feelings toward N but she didn't want to face them. It wasn't possible! How did she end up falling for N? No, that wasn't it either. She loved him, still loves him and it hurt to know she'll never see him again.
They never were friends, were they? Touko felt extremely confused. Falling to the floor, she sat and cried, letting all her bottled emotions out. He had betrayed her but she fell in love with him. How does that even work out?
It didn't matter now, though. He was gone, never to be seen again. She didn't know where he had disappeared to. There was an extremely slim chance of her ever finding him.
More tears rolled down her cheeks, carving a river into her pale face. Her heart throbbed and each breath she drew in felt more like a gasp. Her free hand wandered from its position on the floor over to her hip, unhooking a Pokéball. She didn't want to go anywhere but she had promised Cheren she'd meet him back at home...
Holding the Pokéball in front of her, she noticed the gleam of it and saw it was an Ultra ball, the one that housed Zekrom. Looking at it shot her back into the past as the memories of the battle she had with N replayed themselves. It had been a long and hard battle but in the end she had won, thanks to Zekrom. N hadn't appeared to be upset when he lost. He seemed shocked more than anything. Maybe that was why he hadn't reacted in any way when Ghetsis insulted him and called him useless. Even though she hadn't been the one being addressed, Touko felt hurt hearing those words coming from Ghetsis, especially since it was directed at N, his son.
A hiccup forced its way out of her and she forced the memory away, backing it into a corner. Now was not the time to remember! Replacing Zekrom's Pokéball, she grabbed another one and released Unfezant. The proud Pokémon spread her wings and cocked her head, looking at Touko intently.
"Can you take me to Nuvema Town?" Touko asked, forcing a smile onto her lips. Her Pokémon nodded and flew into the empty spot where Reshiram used to be, waiting for Touko to get on. With one last glance at the Castle, Touko climbed on top of Unfezant and they flew away into the night.
N...
A/N: I hope everyone reading this enjoyed it or at least didn't hate it. This is my first fanfic in the Pokémon section so please, don't judge me too harshly?
I apologize if any of the characters are OOC; if you tell me, I can (attempt to) fix it.
(Edit) I just checked this oneshot over and noticed some mistakes that slipped past me. I fixed them now :)
Happy Leafing~
