AN: Don't shoot me. I know I should be working on Blinding but my creative process has me working on other ficclets. Anyway, please watch my DA for early access to my fics. I upload there first because its easier to edit if there is a minor error I didn't catch before. I will add fics here that I am fully confident in in a day or two's time after I upload it there.
I – think I'm dead. No, I know I'm dead.
If I could feel, I think I would feel like I'm floating. I have no form, no body, nothing to sustain me, and yet I don't float away. I'm here, watching memories I have long been detached to. Images of my life, images of all my lives, that no longer ground me. They are like light that have penetrated the water and reflect on the ocean floor. So beautiful to watch, but it's not a part of you.
I don't have a perception of time. I don't know how long I have been here, nor do I know how long I will be here. Eventually I will find a new life, and I will have a purpose, although I won't remember what it was. All I know is that I'm calling out for something, and I will continue to call until I find it. I am incomplete without it.
Something catches my eye, and I cannot look away. It is my life as a Viking, how interesting that was. But, there, I'm rescuing a dragon. I can feel that this event is not meaningless like the others. It is important somehow.
We become friends. I overcome my personal challenges because of the confidence his presence gives me. I fall in love with a girl, but I am disappointed once again. That love is as empty as all the others. After the festivities of uniting dragons and humans, things die down. I am older, I am married, I know more about myself, more than I wished I knew. My dragon friend shows me his human form, he is afraid, but I accept him. I fall in love with him.
This love, oh this love, is not empty like the others. This love is true, it is real. My heart was filled with an undying love; a love that still goes on even though the heart has long died. It filled every inch of my mind with new possibilities; futures that I did not know could exist. This love completed my incomplete soul. How could I have forgotten?
Our lives end shortly after we freely loved one another. So tragic, so wrong. But, where is he? We're soulmates. We were supposed to float on like this forever in each other's arms.
There is more to this image. His soul cries out for vengeance, he is thirsty for blood. He is angry, but he is also ashamed.
"I couldn't protect him."
No, my love. Don't make this choice. Come back to me! Please, I need you.
"If I give you this chance for vengeance, do you promise to give me your soul forever? You will be my servant for all time."
You evil bitch! That is half my soul you are bargaining for.
"I promise to me your servant for all time."
No. No. No. This was not how it was supposed to be. I don't care that I'm dead, you lizard brained moron! I just wanted to be with you, forever, and I know that's what you want too. But, you can't face me, can you? This isn't about me, this is about you.
I forgive you.
I know what my purpose is now, I remember it clearly. All those lives where I have been drawn to something, but I never took the chance to obtain it. Every time I passed by a dark-haired stranger and I wanted to know their name, get to know them. Every chance I had to live for something that was greater than me. It had all been to love my soulmate.
I won't make the same mistakes this time. My hair will be the fire that burns for you. The spots on my face will be the marks from the kisses you gave me. My eyes will be the lush green fields that we used to play through. My lips will be the blood that we shed for our forbidden love.
I will no longer wish for a body that you may find perfect, the body I thought you deserved to have. My body will be the one that you worshiped all those times you made love to me. You will recognize me, and you will love me again. You will make up for all the failed attempts, my failed attempts.
Toothless, I'm coming back for you.
