Dave didn't flinch as the fist connected with his face, smashing his shades and bruising his eye as it passed through. The boy who had punched him grinned, as if he had made an important winning shot in some kind of fucked up game. Dave wasn't about to play any games.

Dave reacted like lightning.

He slammed his own fist into the boy's gut and jerked his knee upward into his chest as he was forced to lurch forward. Before the air even rushed out of the boy's crushed lungs, Dave crouched with a turn, then jumped into the air with maximum centrifugal force, his leg extended with expert precision, colliding into his face, the force more than enough to send him flying. The boy crashed into and dented the lockers behind him as Dave touched down, gracefully landing on his feet.

Nobody was able to bear true witness because it all happened so quickly. In a flash, Dave had disappeared, the boy twitched then flew, and Dave reappeared just in time to land as if previously having been carried by angels. Dave was confident that only Bro would have been able to see what happened. But he wasn't there.

Nobody saw, but everybody knew that the boy had just paid quite dearly for his aggression.

Dave dusted off the shoulder the boy used to call his attention and turned away to examined the stained glass, broken on the floor.

There was no evidence that they had ever once been in any triangular shape. He picked up the bits and pieces, not missing a single particle, hitched his backpack to his shoulder, and walked home.


Dave opened the door and closed it like he normally would, trying not to attract his brother's attention. But apparently anything that he didn't want to call attention to garnered it like he was Bro's most beloved idol. Of course, Bro had told him on several embarrassing occasions that he loved him like no one else in an ironic love song of sorts.

Bro, being the devil he was, suddenly appeared on the couch with a grin stretching over his perfect teeth. Or near perfect, Dave would have to say. Bro actually had a God awfully sexy stand out fang on his upper set of teeth, which was why his smile alluringly crooked. Of course, no one knew about it but Dave, having found out by one of the strangest of means.

Means that, at the moment, Bro probably wanted to engage in, but Dave just gave him a dismissive wave and went into his room without a word.

Of course, now Bro was bound to notice. Not that it mattered anyways. The only difference would be time if it meant when Bro was going to find out. Dave just used the time he had to check himself out.

He went to the mirror by his closet to check his eye. It didn't hurt, but that didn't meant it wasn't damaged. This skin around it had reddened a while ago and a blood vessel seemed to have broken in his eye, reddening the whites to match his irises. His eye would probably be black tomorrow.

Jesus.

He heard the door click and in came Bro, his eyebrows all worried-like.

"You okay, lil' bro?" he asked, hanging by the entrance of his room.

"Got my eye knocked. It's like a broken strobe light cover in there. No light, all color."

"Damn. Sounds like some serious damage," Bro replied, stepping in at a normal speed. "Lemme check on it."

Dave looked up as Bro came over and he allowed his face to be turned this way and that as he was examined.

"It's not bad. Don't need a doctor at least. Did you kick his ass?"

"Point two-three."

"Damn! Pissed you off that much? I thought you'd give point three-four."

"Not. Even."

"Why so bad?"

Dave shrugged and tossed himself on his bed. "Made me drop my shades."

"Made you lose 'em too?"

"Kinda."

"Kinda? Not like you to not know what happened," Bro commented, folding his arms over his chest. "Is that just a coincidence or what?"

Dave glared back at Bro. "What's with all the questions? Not like you to probe the shit out of my business. Is it just now or have I never noticed?"

"Depends." Bro met his glare back with an even gaze.

Of course this could last a long time normally, but without his shades, Bro would definitely win out in the battle of poker faces in no time. Dave sighed angrily and threw an arm over his face.

"Okay, I'll be fucking honest. The asshole broke my shades. He tapped my shoulder and I wasn't paying attention when I turned around and he broke my shades with that pansy-ass fist of his. I picked up the pieces," he opened the palm of his other hand, revealing the smaller shards cutting into his skin, "but obviously I couldn't put them back together. I packed my bags and came home," he finished, flicking his chin towards his backpack. Bro knew that the larger pieces were in there.

"Shit…" Bro approached the bed and sat down, taking Dave's hand. He was armed with tweezers and antiseptic. Dave let him remove the glass from his hand and heard him place the blood shards on the table next to his bed. The cuts stung when the obtrusive materials were removed and his already bloodied hand, having been tightly clutched with the glass pieces in it, began to bleed even more, oozing drops of crimson each time, even when gently squeezed. Dave let out a breath he had not been aware of holding as he heard the cling of the tweezers being put down.

"Jesus, fuck. You know you don't have to lie to me, Dave," Bro said.

Dave glanced at Bro and looked away, embarrassed.

"I just thought it was dumb how I got them smashed. I always thought that it'd be in an epic battle with you or some shit like that. This wasn't exactly as I planned."

"Lil' bro, let me tell you: accidents happen."

"Well, they shouldn't."

Bro shook his head. "No. They're supposed to happen. Good or bad. Hey, if you can stop a bad one, good for you. Literally. But you know, if it happens, it happens. Bad ones can turn out to be good too. This one time, a fucking meteor just comes along and destroys my favorite record store. Guess what? I came across you in the crater."

Dave quirked a brow. "So I was an accident?"

"Best damned accident I've ever had found." Bro grinned. "Maybe that asshole did you some good too. You were outgrowing those shades anyways. Looked good on you when you were younger, but now I'm starting to think you need different ones."

"Why? The pointy-ness doesn't match my hair?"

"Damn straight! Your hair isn't near as spiked as mine."

Dave rolled his eyes. "I know. Your hair stands straight up even in the shower."

"Heh. It's not the only thing that stands straight up in the shower."

Dave's eyes widened a bit and he made a swatting motion at Bro's face before turning away. "Asshole!"

"Hmm… You can read my mind…" Bro growled. In a split second, he was pinning Dave down onto the bed by his wrists. "'cause that's just what I wanted…" He gave Dave's wounded hand a teasing lick, loving the visible blush that crept up his brother's cheeks.

"You suck, so bad."

Bro grinned again, lapping up the blood. "Maybe. But you'll just have to deal with that. And you'll have to deal with being shade-less until Christmas or something. Maybe before that."

"God, with the maybes. Are you hinting at something or what?" Dave inquired.

"Maybe."

"You are such an asshole. Where's the antiseptic?"


ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]:

EB: happy birthday dave!

TG: what.

TG: its not even my birthday

EB: but it will be!

EB: im just saying this now because i just sent you your birthday present today

TG: so youre saying this now instead of when i actually get the present

TG: am i right

EB: yeah… it sounded better when i was planning it. dont know what happened. i was trying to get a hang of your irony and whatnot

At that time, Dave just laughed and shrugged it off. It was just his best bud being derp again. He couldn't handle irony. He was best just being the jokester.


A package came in the mail. It was from John. You wonder what kind of thing would pop out at you and somewhat ironically surprise you as a joke for a birthday gift.

It surprises you. With all the honesty in the world, does it surprise you.

As you sit on your bed, you pull out a letter along with a pair of shades, aviators, that you have seen once before on a certain celebrity's face. God, the irony of it reached skyrocketing levels. It was so cool you couldn't even describe how much you loved them. You loved all things obscure, and yet you loved these shades even more.

You put them on your face and immediately felt comfort from the past that you've been missing for months ever since you lost your first pair. Despite having been on Ben Stiller's creepy face, but oblivious to John, that was way cool.

Upon reading the note behind the tinted glass, you found that Bro had some part in this present. Of course, John had no idea what Bro's name was, referring to him as "your older brother," and he did not get the irony of having to call him Bro. Of course you knew.

Bro's name was… Bro.

But you smiled to yourself, knowing this and also knowing your brother cared about you enough to help John out with your birthday present. Looking in the mirror, you loved how it made your cheesy, completely emotional smile just look like a cool guy smirk.

"Hey. Sexy shades there, bro."

"Sexier than you, Bro."

Dave wasn't sure when Bro had opened up his door, but it didn't matter. Not like he would shut him out again.

"Not sure if I'd say that, but they come pretty close," replied Bro.

"They're not the only things pretty close to coming."

Bro flashed over and gave him a feral kiss. "You. Are. On."

"Of course."