Santana Lopez had always had a reputation as a rather, lets say, "Promiscuous" lady. She had always been that girl, the one who would put out for anyone. Use sex as a form of torture to the poor hormonal teenage boys at McKinley High. But what people didn't know was how much Santana valued sex. Valued it with one person. That one person that we all hope to find in life. The one who only has to look at you and your stomach is exploding with butterflies. That one person who touches your arm and you feel it all the way through your body. The one who kisses you so sweetly and lovingly and passionately that your heart is constantly fighting a losing battle not to explode. Santana was lucky that she found that person when she was seven years old. She was lucky that that person had been there for her her whole life. She was lucky that person was a kind person, who always had her best interests at heart. She was lucky that person was her best friend in the entire world, Brittany Susan Pierce.
To Santana, sex wasn't some sleazy act that people used for pleasure. It had always been a way of physically showing the person that you love why they are different to everybody else. It was a way of making them feel the way they made you feel every day of your life, overcome with happiness. So in the middle of the night when Santana used to sneak into Brittany's room, and feel Brittany inside her, she had always felt something she had never understood. She had always felt this warm, swooping sensation in the pit of her stomach. It confused her. It thrilled her. It terrified her. Sleeping with your best friend and "experimenting" with her was one thing. It was another to watch and admire her when she fell asleep. To feel a burning desire to hold her in your arms after hours of lovemaking. To feel so overcome with emotion and joy every time she moaned your name that your eyes filled with tears. Santana had known that something was very, very wrong. But she couldn't pinpoint it. She could never let herself acknowledge the way she felt about Brittany.
But sex changes so much. It changes relationships. The way we look at people. The way we look at ourselves. Sex changes everything. One thing about sex, is that sometimes, whilst we are in the midst of passion, we say things that maybe we wouldn't have normally said. We say things that we don't quite understand, or have no control over. Sometimes, when we are so intimate with someone we cherish so much, we realize things. We finally throw away everything. Insecurity, doubt, everyone else in the world. And we let ourselves feel.
So that's where this story picks up. Santana Lopez, in a sweaty mess, with her best friend inside her, and on the brink of her own personal heaven, panted the three words she had been waiting to say to Brittany Pierce her whole life. "I love you".
Santana closed her eyes tightly, and felt her orgasm overcome her.
"Britt" She half whispered, half moaned, trying to stay quiet for her parents sake. Brittany continued to move her hand in and out of her, gently rocking against her, letting her ride out her orgasm. She began to pepper Santana's sweaty face with sweet kisses, and slowed to a stop when Santana's body went limp. Santana attempted to catch her breath, and absorb everything that had just happened. She felt Brittany soft hand cup her cheek, and she opened her eyes to meet piercing blue ones. Blue ones that were moist and full of emotion. An emotion that she was finally beginning to understand.
"I love you too" She whispered, before leaning down and pressing their lips together. Santana felt tears rolling down her cheeks, as she tangled her hand in Brittany's blonde her. Begging her to come closer. Begging for their lips to be together forever. She could taste the salty tears now, could hear herself and Brittany's quiet sobs as they kissed each other so gently as if they were both too fragile to handle anything else. Brittany moved away, and Santana pulled her down so that her head was resting on her chest. She wiped the hair and tears from her face, and held her so tight that it almost hurt.
"I'm scared" Santana whispered, her fragile voice breaking. Brittany lifted her head to look up at Santana, really look at her. She didn't need and explanation as to what was on Santana's mind. She knew the girl better than she knew herself. She knew that Santana was beyond scared, of who she was. Of the ignorant people who lie in every corner of the earth.
Brittany scooted up the bed and switched positions so that Santana's head was now lying on her chest.
"I know San. I know how afraid you are. And I can handle and understand that. Being afraid of the looks, the ignorance. Being afraid of your parents. But the one thing that I cant handle, because it just breaks my heart too much, is you being afraid of yourself. Of who you are. Because honey, who you are, is perfect. Who you are is my best friend. Who you are is the girl I fell in love with. There is nothing, I mean nothing, wrong with you" Brittany whispered softly, kissing the top of Santana's head.
Santana inhaled and tried to control the sobs heaving through her body. How could she not have realised until now, or acknowledged until now that she was in love with this girl? The girl who made her feel whole. The girl who just always knew what to say.
"I just… I just know Britt, that people will hurt us. They don't understand. I mean, my own mom would disown me.." She trailed off, horrified at the thoughts. "I can't let anyone hurt you Britt, I just can't" Santana sobbed again.
"Shh San. I'm a big girl. The talks, the looks, the bitchiness. It wouldn't matter, because nobody else matters to me" She whispered into Santana's hair.
This only made Santana sob harder. She was such a coward. She didn't deserve the beautiful girl that was holding her.
Santana turned her head up to face Brittany, and said the only thing that she could think of right now. "I love you". It sounded so right. Why hadn't she been saying it all along?
"I love you too. Its good to be able to say that without thinking you'll run away from me" Brittany laughed. Santana frowned. Damn she had messed up in the past.
"Where do we go from here?" Santana asked. Brittany sighed. "Wherever you wanna go" She breathed into Santana's ear.
"All I know is that I love you Britt. And the thoughts of you being with someone else, it just, it disgusts me. It kills me. I need you, more than I've ever needed anything. But that doesn't take away the fact that I'm a pathetic coward. I can't ask you to sit around and wait for me while I attempt to grow a pair. You deserve so much better than that." Santana choked. She wanted to scream. Tell Brittany to ignore the noble crap she just said and be with her. Tell her that no one would ever love her s much as she does. But she couldn't.
"Look at me San" Brittany sighed. Santana didn't budge. "Santana" Brittany said firmly. Santana slid up to rest on her elbow beside Brittany. Brittany took Santana's hand in hers, and her ring finger. "See this" Brittany said, holding Santana's finger up in front of her. Santana frowned at her, but Brittany continued.
"One day, there's gonna be a ring on this finger. And it's going to be a symbol, or a promise, that I Brittany Pierce, will love you, Santana Lopez forever. It'll show the world that I don't want anybody else. Because its true Santana. Some people walk a thousand miles, wait a million years, to find what I've found in you. I got lucky because I found the love of my life when I was a freakishly tall seven year old. I would wait a million years for you Santana. And I would never want you think that you are anything less than what I deserve."
Santana swallowed hard. When did Brittany turn into like, Shakespeare?
"It doesn't mean…like, we can't be together Britt. But for now, its just gonna be between us, you know?" She looked up at Brittany shyly. Brittany smiled. "Forbidden love, huh? The sex in those kind of relationships is supposed to be fantastic" She teased. Santana chuckled and playfully nudged her. "Well it's obviously gonna be fantastic if I'm involved" Santana bragged. Brittany scoffed.
"Maybe I should sleep somewhere else tonight, I don't think there'll be enough room in this bed with your big head taking it up" She joked. Santana stuck her tongue out and leaned in for a kiss. "There'll always be room for you in my bed. And I mean that in a sweet way, as opposed to a perverted way" She smiled.
"And there'll always be room for you in my bed. And I don't mean that in a sweet way, I mean it in a highly perverted way" Brittany mocked.
The two girls fell asleep teasing each other. It was how they rolled. One minute they were crying in each others arms, the next, they were being perverted nerds.
