title: this isn't everything you are
summary: anything was better than a washed-out Stefan imitation these days. delena
notes: don't know how i felt about the recent episode. my confusion is tied together with this.
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Everything about him scared her.
At first, it had been the obvious things. The way he lingered around with that entitled air, all smirks and heartbreak-turned-rebel pride. The way he had no grasp on his moral compass, the way he didn't flinch when another person she knew turned up missing. The way he regarded her, eyes intense, sarcastic comments tossed at her. The way he stopped for nobody else's opinion because once he made up his mind, he was set.
But now new things scared her as he began to falter. He was still Damon, but at the same time, he wasn't.
He cared now, and that scared her. The way he was more reserved, how he controlled his outbursts. The way he began to use his emotions in place of cold cut logic. And the way he touched her with knowing fingers, the way he sensed what bothered her. The way he knew what she was feeling. The way he was the only thing that was staying the same when everyone else was changing, changing, changing.
She didn't want him to change for her. She wasn't in any position to promise anything, probably not for a long time. But it was hard not to imagine what could be.
Another day, another day, another and another. And then the future became real.
She traced a circle on his hand, looking out into the distance as the horizon filled with a gaping darkness, and wondered if the old Damon would ever be back.
The passion in his eyes had been hindered, and she wondered if it would ever work between them.
Because anything was better than a washed-out Stefan imitation these days.
