Summary: How did Sherlock cope with the wedding – the loss – of his best friend whose true value he came to realize too late, only after the inner revelations during his own Best Man's speech? The answer is (as we know from the beginning of His Last Vow): he didn't.

Johnlock (of the unrequited kind); two chapters.

Author's Note: In its initial form, I intended this little poem to be the Prologue to a longer HLV based story I'm trying to write (and really wish I'll be able to post one day). But instead this baby just kept growing and growing and demanded to be published on its own. So here it is, before the length gets totally out of hand. I hope you give it a go, even if it is a poem.

And if you have no idea what revelations I'm talking about, I suggest checking out the brilliant "What is Love Anyway? or How Sherlock Holmes Deduced Himself into Love" by loudest-subtext-in-television (found on Tumblr). It's all there!


Chapter 1: Out

When innocent May was in expectant bloom

I fought The Battle of The Best Man

I encountered two mysteries of the locked room

And cracked them, as only I can


After they were wedded as husband and wife

I prevented one delayed action stabbing

I solved the case, he saved the life

– All the while I kept on blabbing


I improvised the speech, my long love letter

And although it wasn't quite the goal

In trying to be his Best Friend (and better)

I revealed – and lost – my heart and soul


Did I say "murder"? I meant to say "marriage"

– I may be slipping and only Freud would know how

The picture isn't whole yet (where is the missing carriage?)

But marriage is murder and it's killing me now


If anyone asks me, I will happily tweet

"Oh what a night for all who were there!"

But inside my mind I'll beat a hasty retreat

From the things I just cannot bear


The flowers, the lights, the dance and the song

– A chaos of sight, sound and scent

Just watching the scene where I don't belong

Nerves and energy utterly spent


After The Waltz and my last vow

I'll abandon the joyous throng

Would have loved to dance but I can't see how

When everything seems so wrong


I lost the battle in the final act

Now it's time for my last impressions

Believe it or not, I have enough tact

To make no more shameful confessions


But watching those two just dance away

The beaming bride and the groom

Makes it impossible for me to stay

My head spinning with confusion and gloom


All my duties are done, nothing more left to see

– How it all became clear in a flash!

One final deduction, reserved for me

Then I'm heading for the post-case crash


Reconciling "Man" and "Friend" and "Best"

Now that all is said and done

Feels like a hole ripping through my chest

He's married – I'm woebegone


What will be left of me tomorrow?

The hole was crafted with such precision

I guess I deserve the loneliness and sorrow

As I couldn't make the right decision


So I turn to leave before my anxiety grows

No one tells me to stop and wait

Why should they care, no one else even knows

That my revelations came too late


When he first came along, why didn't I see

He was holding the missing part?

He unlocked the door, to the core of me

The impenetrable chamber of my heart


He's as vital as blood, as essential as air

Always keeping me on the right track

But now that he's with her, and the baby is there

How could I ever get him back?


Don't pick up the pieces, just let them be

Give him up without a fight

Lock the empty room, throw away the key

And disappear into the night