Huzzah for pens! I was falling asleep at two in bed, and I had this idea fall into my head. "Let's have the gang go to a bath house, and put hints in for any available pairing, but nothing definite."

I'll go ahead and confess- I do not own Durarara, and I do not know much about Bathhouses. But the idea was so much fun, that when I woke up with no memory of it, and looked down to see the faded prompt in ink on my hand, I went 'Oh, yeah!'

With no further ado, On with the story!

Kida Masaomi skipped down the street. His parents were out for the weekend, and had left him some spending money for food. Never had Kida been so happy to forget to mention to his parents that he was on a certain informants payroll.

But now what to do with the extra cash?

Ring. Ring. Eyeing his cell phone, Kida noticed that the caller I.D. said Dollars.

If anyone asked, he did not dive for the cell phone. Flipping it open, he gave a polite "Moshi Moshi?"

"Kida! The water main for Sunshine Sixty broke! Can I crash at your place? Well, actually…" Mikado flustered on the other end of the phone. "It should be gone by tomorrow morning, they know where the break is, and it's just that getting to it will take a while."

"Actually, I have enough to go to a bath house. Wanna do that while you stay over?"

"A…bath house?" The wondering tone in Mikado's voice was a dead giveaway.

"Dude! You've never been to a bath house before? They're a public function split by gender. It's pretty easy to figure out. I hope you aren't terribly shy." Kida teased.

He could hear Mikado blush on the other end.

"Uhm, okay. I'll pack for overnight." With that, Mikado hung up. He made sure to back a container with a towel, a wash rag, shampoo and soap. His hair was short enough that he skipped the conditioner.

For overnight, he packed a change of clothes, pajamas, his toothbrush and toothpaste. His finished homework was also carefully packed away. Mikado tidied up his apartment, put his bags into his side along carrier bag, and pocketed his key after making sure that his apartment was locked.

He turned around and bumped right into Izaya, who was skipping up the steps.

"Ah, sorry!"

"Whoa, Mikado-kun. Where are you going?"

"A bath house. The water main's broken. Excuse me, Orihara-san." Mikado tried to dodge around the informant and head down the steps. For his troubles, Izaya slung an arm over his shoulder and walked with him to Kida's house.

Mikado didn't initiate conversation, and Izaya didn't supply any.

"Ready for your first trip to a bath house Mikado? Oh, Izaya-san hello." Kida went from exuberant to a frosty polite the moment his eyes slide from Mikado to the person hanging off of him.

"Hello, Kida-kun. You're first time?" He directed the latter statement to the brunette.

"Yes. Kida-kun was going to show me." The blunt exception to shove Izaya out of the picture was enunciated with Mikado dislodging himself from Izaya and slipping over to Kida.

"I'll just put my stuff in your room, and we can go, right?" Mikado then slide past Masaomi and into the house, leaving the two males outside.

Once the door shut, Masaomi and Izaya were glaring at each other.


Shinra skipped down the street. He and Celty were going to the bath house! True, it would have to be later at night, but one of the newer additions was for couples. He could easily get Celty in and show her that showers were overrated. True, they would have to scrub themselves down before getting into the bath to soak, but he really wanted her to use the bath oils he had gotten her last Christmas.

They were currently collecting dust, and Celty always seemed flustered about letting him clean the bathroom and see that she still hadn't used them. Well, this would kill two birds with one stone.

He had even called ahead and made a reservation, or more to find out when the place would be at its emptiest. They understood that his wife had a slight need for privacy and had told him that while they were twenty-four seven, the place usually emptied by eight to it could be cleaned. The latest people were allowed to stay was ten at night.

The best part was, Celty had already agreed to go, and the bath house was okay with the bath oil being brought in from outside. That had made Kishitani worry about something a bit more dangerous come in other than bath oils, but he shrugged it off.

Nothing was going to happen to ruin his date. He was spending time with Celty, and in the end, that's all he cared about. Even the faint echo of someone screaming 'no' didn't faze him.


Shizuo wiped the sweat off his brow. He and Tom had been running around all day, and some of the punks had even managed to pay their bills. They didn't look to be in the best of health, but they were paying.

He even got to thrash some loan sharks crashing in on their party (one was even dressed like him) and the loan sharks had coughed up enough to cover the rest of the debt. But at the end of the day, he was sweating. Tom glanced back at him.

"Want to hit a bath house for a change of pace? There's a really cheap one around here that's actually very excellent. They stay open until ten. You pay up front and then just stay for a few hours. Regular rules about horseplay and staying separate applies. Apparently they invested in an attached branch just for married couples, and now they can afford to be so cheap." Tom explained.

Shizuo grunted. "That sounds fine to me. Let's report to the boss and grab some supplies."

Tom noticed the perk in Shizuo's step. Smiling around his cigarette, he followed his bodyguard.


Izaya and Kida kept up the stand off.

"You know, going to a bath house…I haven't gone in a while."

Kida actually stormed over to him. "Don't you dare."

"What? It's a public facility. Besides, if I'm there, then I can protect Mikado-kun from you." Izaya made sure to lean down into Kida's face when he said that. Not in an overbearing way, just close enough to…

Kida swung at him. And just like back when Saki was in the hospital, Izaya was ready. Except this time, he turned the red Masaomi into a hug.

Mikado walked through the door with his tub and bathing supplies. The sight he saw was Masaomi snuggling into Izaya.

"OH! Are you two dating? I'm sorry to intrude!"

"NO! No we're not!" Kida kicked back and Izaya released him. Kida nearly plowed into Mikado if he had any more momentum. Instead, he came to a stop just in front of Mikado.

"He tripped and I caught him. That's all." Izaya explained.

Mikado nodded, but his expression had a glint that he suspected the two were seeing each other.

"Oh, that's right. It's Saki whose your," Mikado held up his pinky, "I was confused in your explanation. Well then, let's go!"

As Mikado started off, Izaya glanced at Masaomi. "You haven't told him the two of you broke up?"

"Shut up." Growled Masaomi. Then he grabbed his towel, money, and his own wooden tub, before he headed after Mikado.

Izaya grinned and trailed after them, pulling out his cell phone. Namie Yagiri picked up on the other end.

"Orihara-san's office, how may I help you?"

"Namie-chan! I need you to bring me supplies for a bath house." Namie sighed.

"Fine."

"And take tomorrow off! You'll get paid~."

"…I don't want to know why."


Izaya skipped along with them, keeping up a steady stream of chatter over Kida's conversation with Mikado.

Anri-chan pulled up with the group. In a hostile move, she slipped between Mikado and Izaya. Masaomi, on the other side, sent Izaya a smirk. Izaya mouthed 'wait until the bath house' right back at him. For some reason, Anri-chan already had her bath house supplies.

Mikado reasoned that one of Saika's children must have seen them earlier and ran off to tell her. He always wondered if Anri-chan needed to ne near in a circumference or in the peripheral to activate Saika's abilities.

He pushed the thoughts to the side as they reached the bath house. Kida-kun paid for them, and Izaya paid for himself. Namie stepped in for a moment to give Izaya his bath supplies, and then stepped out.

Anri-chan left them at the divide for the changing stations, but Mikado swore he say some men's eyes turn red and watch Izaya as he passed.

Was Anri-chan stalking Izaya, or just looking out for her friends? Deciding that if Anri-chan was dating Izaya, she would have told them, Mikado dismissed the possibility.

"Neh, Mikado, want me to wash your back?" Kida chimed in. Izaya 'tch'd' and walked off to rent a locker. After stripping, Mikado tied his towel around his waist.

"Dotachin, don't look now, but a very moe person is behind us!" Walker exclaimed.

"Kadota! Guys! If you're here, that means Anri-chan might run into Erika-san!" Masaomi cheered. Izaya finished wrapping his towel and slipped into the bath house.

Mikado and Masaomi happily chatted with the van gang as Mikado was washed down by Masaomi. Then Mikado returned the favor.

"Ah, Walker-san, do you need help?" Mikado asked. Walker blinked at him.

"Ah, sure! Thanks! Just my back." Walker plopped down and Mikado worked on getting his back wet, before scrubbing it clean with his soap. "This smell okay for you?"

"It's great! A very manly smell!" Walker proclaimed. Once he was done, Mikado used one of the shower heads that was on a snake extension to rinse Walker's back. Then the group stood up and went to soak in the bath.

Izaya scowled at them from across the room. Any attempt to get near Mikado was thwarted by Kida or Kadota. He had to find the upper hand in this. Mikado's first trip to the bath house should be marked by many happy memories.

That's when Izaya saw him.


Shizuo knew something was bad when the flea came into the changing room looking like either Armageddon was about to happen and grabbed him.

"Pervert in there. I can't get near Mikado, cause Kida and Kadota are in my way, and none of Saika's children are looking out for him. And none of them will let me get close to them so I can warn Saika."

"…Mikado's in danger?" Shizuo so wanted to snap Izaya in two. But if what he said was valid…

"Tom. I need you to be ready to call the police. Let's go, Izaya-kun."

Walking in together, Izaya ignored the fact that the beast he hated with a passion was standing abreast of him, and pointed out the pervert to Shizuo. Tom popped his head in behind them.

"Oh, this will be easy enough to take care of. There's a bulletin out on that guy, the description matches. I'll just tell the front desk."

Meanwhile, in Izaya's head, he was flipping out. What if the entire bath house was run by perverts? He started scoping, looking for cameras or a second helper to the pervert in the crowd.

"Over there." Shizuo grunted.

Izaya followed his gaze.

"That's a smoke bomb." Izaya stated. "In the confusion…"

"I really want to beat you to a pulp." Shizuo growled.

"Later, Shizuo-kohai." Izaya snapped back. He stormed over to Mikado and the others. Shizuo followed. The color drained out of Masaomi's face, so the others turned to look.

They say Izaya coming towards them with Shizuo behind him. Izaya looked determined. Shizuo-san looked relaxed and on edge at the same time. Just as Izaya reached them, something exploded.

When the smoke cleared, Kida was missing.


Mikado was frantic to find his friend. As the police reviewed the tapes of people checking in and confirmed the perverts identity, Mikado sent out a frantic text to the Dollars.

One blond seventeen year old was nabbed from the bath house by a pervert. Police are looking into it. The kid wasn't clothed when he was nabbed, but smells like sandalwood. Please, find him!

Minutes later, someone mentioned posted that they had smelled sandalwood when two people had gotten into a white sedan and had driven off. They supplied the time and street number, which matched the time the police had started looking at tapes.

Mikado tapped Izaya's shoulder and showed him the text.


Four hours later, after being questioned by the Awakusa, Kida was returned in loose sweat pants to the police station, where he was questioned further as to what happened. Other than keeping the questions to himself, Kida told them everything.

Once Kida-kun was back, Mikado slept over at his place. The rest of the gang broke up, and a parting taunt from Izaya ensured that Shizuo got to his apartment around three in the morning after losing the flea in the crowd.

Izaya documented the underground slave ring and saw to it that Aoba-kun sic some Blue Squares on the ring's leaders that got away in the following weeks.

The water main was fixed the next afternoon, so Mikado stayed and worked on homework with Masaomi, and generally didn't let the blonde out of his sight. Masaomi chuckled and asked Mikado if he wanted to stay another night.

They went to school together the next day, where rumors about Kida's kidnapping and the Dollars taking him back through Yakuza connections were greatly exaggerated.

Mikado flipped open his cell phone at break.

Thank you everyone. He's back and he's safe.

~fin

A/N: AAARGH! This was just supposed to be a small little one shot! And what happened to my idea to have Celty nab the kidnappers and hand Masaomi back to the group and just disappear when the police showed up? Instead, I just hint at a romantic evening for the only not-messed-with pairing in the story! But seriously, I wondered if I could write a story where everyone got to see a hint of each paring, but not actually confirm anything. I think for a first try, I get a B-.