Okay, I just saw Perks of Being a Wallflower for the first time and absolutely LOVED it. Everything about it was just perfect and amazing.

So, this story is very loosely based on it. There is going to be a lot of references and lines from it, so I'm stating now, that I literally own nothing. It's kinda very different and one hundred percent AU. I just wondered what it'd be like from Maya's point of view, with Maya being the shy and sick one instead of Cam. So I hope you like it.

Enjoy every second of it. And review! Plz :] Much love!


She stared up at the sky, reading the name of her new school over and over and over again until she was sure she had memorized every little detail of the block letters.

"Maya?"

She faintly heard her name and turned to see her sister, Katie, was trying to get her attention.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded and gave her a small smile, "Just nervous, I guess." She admitted, bending down to pick up her school bag.

"If you want to talk—"

"I'm fine." Maya snapped, then realized what she did and quickly apologized. "I'll be fine, okay?"

Katie nodded, "Okay." She said quietly. "I'm gonna go find a parking spot and I'll meet you inside." Maya nodded and didn't respond, she opened the door and stepped out onto the pavement. She closed the door and watched her sister drive away before going up the steps and sitting at the very top. She put her bag in front of her and pulled out a small black book.

Ignoring all the students trying to push past her to get inside, she opened it and started to write, Dear friend, today is my first day of high school and I'm more nervous than I have ever been. It doesn't look like anyone's going to want to be my friend. I am after all the freak of the last school I was at before transferring here for my grade nine year. What if they don't like me? What if they just think I'm pathetic? She stopped writing for a moment, chewing on her pen, before she started writing again. I'm going inside now. Wish me luck. And with that, she closed the book and stood up. She slowly stepped inside, the book clutched tightly in her hand.

She pulled out the schedule that had been mailed home at some point during the summer and looked for where her homeroom was. She started to walk as soon as she had found it, but had only made it a few feet before someone bumped into her and her black book fell on the ground. The person who had bumped into her laughed, and picked it up, she had tried to reach for it, but he pulled it away from her.

"Wow, looks like this niner has a secret journal. Let us read it." He said to his friends who were beside him.

"Give that back," She said quietly, but he ignored her. "Please give it back to me." Her plea went ignored once again as the jerk started to read it.

"Dear friend," He mocked, "Today is my first day of high school… and I'm just a slutty girl trying to get attention by writing my deepest thoughts in here."

She tried to grab it from him again, but he jerked it away from her as the girl who was with him laughed over his shoulder. "Pathetic," She said, and Maya felt her anger build. But before she could do or say anything, a voice was heard behind her, that caused the assholes to look up.

"Give my sister back her book, Dallas. Now." She turned around to see Katie walking towards them a pissed off look on her face. To Maya's surprise, Dallas handed her the book. "Good, now fuck off." She said, and before he moved, she glared at him and he quickly ran off, his friends close behind him. She sighed and turned to Maya, "I'm sorry about them. They're just a bunch of jerks, are you going to be okay?"

Maya nodded, and gave her a soft smile as she put the book in her bag again.

"Do you want me to walk you to class?"

Maya shook her head. "I think I know where to go."

Katie nodded, satisfied with the answer. "If you need anything…"

Maya nodded, "I know where you live," She teased and with that, Katie walked away from her. She looked down at her shoes a moment before looking up, only to see a boy looking at her from across the hallway. She just bit her lip and ignored it, walking down the hall. She found her homeroom pretty easily and took a seat waiting for the bell to ring and her day to begin.


Dear friend, I have one friend here. Her name is Becky. We were friends in grade eight. But after a while, we sort of just grew apart and now we hardly speak to each other. It was sad really, because when I went to sit with her at lunch, she rejected me, like the bitch she is. Is that mean of me to say? Should I not be calling her a bitch? I think she deserves it, but you may not think that way. Anyway, I have to go now, I'll talk to you later, maybe.

Maya looked up from the book she was reading at her empty table to survey the entire cafeteria. It was lunchtime now. It used to be her favorite time of the day, but now it was her least favorite. She just wanted it to be over so she could go home and just sleep her day away.

The bell soon rang and she mindlessly went to her next class, impatiently waiting until her last class of the day: Advanced English. She walked into the room and took a seat in the back row. To left, some kids from her middle school took the seats in the row next to her, but she ignored them of course, instead focusing on the book she'd been reading before.

"Look, it's that freak, Maya Matlin." The girl rudely scoffed at her. She looked up at her, but the girl disgustedly turned away.

Maya just went back to reading her book, when the teacher walked in. "Hello, class and welcome to Advanced English. I assume since all of you are here, you're all very good at this subject?"

Maya fought the urge to roll her eyes as she sat up straighter in her seat.

"Okay, first off," Her teacher leaned against his desk. "I'm Ms. Dawes. I'll be your teacher for this semester. And these," She held up a few books, "Are the first books you'll be reading for the semester. You are to ready up to three chapters a day, and then write an essay about what you've read…" Maya started to ignore her as she spoke on and on, handing the book to her as she went up and down the aisles.

She picked it up, Perks of Being a Wallflower. She thought that was a pretty interesting title.

Pretty soon the class was over and she stood up to slowly gather her things, the girl from earlier purposely bumping into her, causing her to drop all of her things, and the girl to bitch about how she should've watched where she was going.

Biting her lip, hard, she bent down and started to get all of it together, when a hand came in front of her, and she looked up to see the boy who was staring at her earlier.

"Here," He said quietly and she stood up, taking it from him. They were awkwardly silent for a few minutes before he scratched the back of his head, "Don't worry about her, she'll get over herself eventually." Maya just nodded. She knew her from middle school, and she definitely knew she'd never get over herself.

"Thanks for helping me," She said and he nodded, grabbing his bag, he gave her a soft wave and then walked out of the room.

"Hey, Maya is it?" She looked up again to see Ms. Dawes was approaching her, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's just fine," She answered as she threw her stuff into her bag. "I'm just having a tough first day that's all."

Her teacher nodded, "It gets easier, believe me."

She doubted it, but she decided just to take her word for it.

"Have you made any friends?"

Maya shook her head, "No, but I think if the only friend I make today is my English teacher then that's pretty depressing."

Ms. Dawes gave her an understanding, sympathetic smile. "I look forward to having you in my class."

"Thanks, I look forward to being in your class." Maya gave her one last nod, before walking out of the room and to where she hoped she remembered was her locker as she'd visited it earlier that day to put some stuff away.

"Hi, freak." She heard and turned to see Becky. "I can't believe you're actually here."

"You know, we were friends at one point, but if I remember correctly you turned into a mega bitch. So why are you wasting time talking to me?"

Becky just scoffed and ran her fingers through her dirty blonde somewhat poofy hair. "I ran into you, that's all."

"What? That doesn't even make sense!"

She must've seen something from the corner of her eye, because she just gave whomever it was a smile, and then gave Maya a dirty look. "just stay away from me, okay?"

Maya didn't answer, instead she just walked off in the opposite direction. She soon found her locker and opened it, throwing in what she didn't need for the day and walked to the front of the school again to wait for her sister.

"Hey, you ready to go home?" She heard not even two minutes later. She silently nodded her head and followed her sister to her car. "How was your first day?"

Maya stared up at the cloudy sky, watching as a few raindrops started to fall on the windshield and windows. The atmosphere felt very fitting to her at that moment.

"It was fine," She finally answered, and from then on out, the car ride was silent. Something Maya was very grateful for.


Dear friend, it's been about a month since school started. I'm still eating lunch alone (though Katie has offered to let me sit with her, but I decline every time), and tonight is the homecoming game. Hopefully I don't get picked on tonight, but you never know. The students here are like sharks just waiting to attack their prey. In this case, I'm their prey. Because I'm a niner and because of my past. What assholes, huh?

She accepted the hot dog and drink from the vendor and walked to the bleachers where she took a seat, watching the cheerleaders cheer, and the football team do whatever it is they did. She took a sip of her drink, suddenly feeling small, and looked around for another place to sit.

"Yeah, whoo-hoo!" She heard and turned to see a student in her music class pump his fist in the air. She saw an empty seat in the row beside her and walked up there, taking the seat and hoping no one was sitting in it before.

"Uhm, excuse me?" She said, and she looked at her, but before she could say anything more, she smiled at her (much to her surprise).

"Hey, you're in my music class right?" She nodded, "Well, hey. Do you want to sit with me or are you waiting for a friend?"

"Oh, uhm, no. I'm not, actually." She responded, and got up to sit next to her, feeling a bit strange.

"I'm Fiona." She stuck her hand out, and Maya slowly shook it. "And you are…?"

"Oh, I'm Maya." She said, and looked away quickly. "So uhm, do you like football?"

"To be honest, I don't really understand it." She twisted her hair around her finger. "I'm just here to support the cheerleading team." She grinned, and Maya got the hint. "I love cheerleading."

"Have you ever tried out? I mean this semester."

Fiona shook her head, "No, I'm not that into it. But if you must know, I used to cheer when I was younger. I did it up until my grade ten year, then I quit." She didn't offer anymore information than that, instead looking up, "Oh, hey, Cam." She tried to move so she could see the game better. Maya noticed her waving at someone, but didn't get to see who it was that waved back at her.

She looked up then and saw the boy who had helped her with her stuff on her first day of school. They hadn't talked much after that, so she had assumed he was just like everyone else in the school.

"Hey, Fi. Did you know the bathrooms here are gross?" He asked, taking the seat beside Maya and looking over at her, making Maya feel a little uncomfortable and insecure.

"Uh, yeah. They're vile." Fiona responded, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"But kinda cool at the same," Fiona made a face, and Cam laughed, before looking over at Maya. "Who's this?"

"Maya." Fiona said, then cheered with everyone when someone made a touchdown.

"I'm in your English class," Maya muttered, but it went unnoticed by him as he'd spoken almost as though he hadn't heard her.

"Hey you're in my English class right."

Maya fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"Anyway, are we going to Clare's tonight?" She asked him and he shook his head.

"No, she got busted sneaking liquor out of her stepdad's cabinet or some shit. We're definitely going to Adam's tonight though."

Fiona nodded, "Perfect." She turned to Maya, "Hey, why don't you come with us tonight? Assuming you don't have any plans."

"I actually don't, but uh. Sure, yeah. I could come."

"Good." Cam said, settling in next to her. "You're going to have an amazing night."

Fiona reached over and smacked him and he laughed again. Maya just stared at them, perplexed with their relationship. She wanted one like that, and hoped she'd get it someday.


Dear friend, I'm at the Dot. Can you believe it? I actually made friends tonight at the game! Yeah, they offered to take me and drive me and I don't know, they're just so nice. They're actually coming back right now, so I'm gonna go. I'll tell you more later, promise.

She put the book away in her bag very quickly and looked up at Cam and Fiona who were laughing as they sat down in the booth with her about something.

"You just missed the funniest thing," Fiona told her. "Cam and I just ran into Becky Baker," If she had seen Maya stiffen up at the mention of her name, she sure didn't mention it, " you know the girl who thinks she's better than everyone else? And she basically told us off about something Cam said that apparently wasn't 'appropriate' or something."

"Yeah, man was she pissed." Cam laughed. Maya laughed with them, as she knew exactly what Becky was like.

"So, you two seem happy together." Maya noted, "How long have you been a couple?"

"Oh, we're not dating." Fiona assured her.

"Yeah, she's my stepsister." Cam responded, picking up the menu. "My dad married her mom."

"Yeah, after she left my loser of a father." Fiona took a sip of the water that a busboy had just placed there.

"Oh." Maya answered, "I see."

"Have you heard about Marisol Lewis?" Fiona suddenly smacked Cam and he looked at her, his eyebrows raised.

"I really don't care to know about her," He responded. "She's super annoying and makes me want to throw something at her face everytime I see her."

Maya giggled, she couldn't help it. "It's funny you say that," She said, "Marisol's been my sister's best friend since they were in kindergarten."

"Wait, are you talking about Katie?" Fiona turned to her, her eyes wide. "Are you Katie Matlin's little sister?"

Maya nodded, "Unfortunately." She muttered, but gave them a small smile anyway to let them know she was just kidding.

"Holy crap, check out that crazy connection." Cam responded and Maya laughed. Something about Cam made her happy, though she wasn't sure what it was, she was happy he was there.

"Your sister is… omg, tell me about her. For some reason she and I kind of clashed last semester, but is she better now?" Fiona asked her and Maya looked confused.

"What do you mean better?" She tilted her head in confusion.

"I heard she was bulimic or something."

Oh, right. That. That wasn't exactly true. Katie wasn't the one who'd been bulimic, it was actually her, that was. But Marisol had been over and found out, and Katie covered for her. She just never told the truth. But she was going to sort of tell her new friends the truth right now.

"Yeah, she's a lot better." Maya looked down at the menu and the waiter came over then, causing the conversation to end for the moment.

Maya was once again, very grateful for the distraction.


"Bye Maya!" Fiona waved from the driver's seat as she sat there, "We'll see you around okay?"

"Yeah, uhm sure!" Maya waved. "Bye guys!"

And with that, she walked inside the house, going past her sister and into her bedroom. She opened the door and collapsed onto her bed, staring up the at the ceiling for a few minutes she went over what had just happened in her head.

Smiling to herself, she closed her eyes and just lay there. Soon drifting off into a restless sleep.