Stay Together for the Kids? Or not...
"Okay, guys...your dad and I have something we have to work out. Out of town." Buffy looked down at her two kids, who were staring up at her with blank faces, "So you'll be staying with Uncle Xander and Auntie Anya for a week or so, ok? They'll get you to school and-"
"Okay, Mommy." Joan looked up at her mother with wide eyes, "Where are you going?"
Buffy avoided Spike's eye, "Uh, just out of town. We have some business to take care of."
That satisfied them. They knew that their parents worked a lot, and since they hardly ever had to make "business trips", it would be no problem this once.
*
"Bye, Mommy." Randy tightened his little arms around his thin mother.
"Bye, Randy. Bye Joany." Buffy kissed both of her children on the top of their heads and waved goodbye with a false look of cheer.
"I always hate saying goodbye to them," Spike murmured. He sounded strangely nervous.
"Yeah." Buffy echoed quietly.
They both knew that what they had to do or say to each other would be done when they reached their destination. Rainfall Spa.
*
"So," Buffy said as she began to unpack into the deep closet at the spa, "What do you feel like doing tonight?"
Spike gave her a sad look, "How about save our marriage?'
Buffy looked at her hands, "I was planning that for tomorrow."
*
"Auntie Anya?" Joan sat on the blonde's lap, "Will you read to me?"
"Does Buff- does Mommy read to you?" Anya's eyebrows raised. She and Xander were expecting their first child in a matter of months, and they wanted-and needed- serious lessons.
"No...." Joan trailed, "But Daddy does. He reads me stories, and tells me stories."
"Really," Xander interrupted, "What kind of stories does Daddy tell you?"
"Stories about elves and unicorns." Joan replied with a wistful smile.
"Oh." Xander said shortly. He was always looking for a reason to make Buffy mad at Spike. Too bad he hadn't told his daughter terrifying stories of what he did the first century of his unlife. Might make Buffy *finally* come to her senses if he told her about that kind of thing.
*
"Well, we're going to talk about it right now. That way, we have more time to figure this out."
Buffy looked up, "Spike..."
"Buffy, this is what we came here for. Before we get to another honeymoon period, we have to get through the mess."
"But the mess is so...."
"Messy? Yeah, sweetheart. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is."
There was silence for a moment, then
"Hey. We're talking without wanting to kill each other. This is good. We don't need to talk about this any more-"
"Yeah, Buff. We do. We always say we'll try to talk, try to work it out. And it always backfires and somebody, either you, me or the kids, end up getting the bad end of it. If we can't work this out, talk this out...."
"You're going to leave me?"
"I don't know." Spike admitted, and he looked straight into her eyes.
"I don't even know why I let you get away with marrying me!" she finally exploded, and stood up in a rage, "You tricked me, and I was drunk! You made me remember that stupid spell that Willow cast and-"
"No, love! Sorry, but you've got it wrong! I was drunk too, and I remember, even if you don't. You were the one who told the priest what to say, and you were the one who said eternal love. I only agreed!"
"Are you saying-"
"I'm saying, I did love you! But you needed the security, deep down! And you needed love, Buffy! You needed my love! You wanted to have somebody who could take care of you!"
"Oh, that is such bull! I don't need you, I've never needed you!"
"But you love me!"
Buffy's lip trembled as she opened her mouth.
"I don't."
Spike stood and stared at his wife of five years, his eyes shining with hurt.
"You don't love me?" he repeated as he watched the tears roll down her cheeks.
Buffy sat down and the only noise in the room was that of her sobs.
"Buffy," he sat down beside her, "I'm used to you running hot and cold...but...do you love me? Have...did you ever?"
"Spike," she choked, and put her hand on his knee, "Spike.... I do love you. But...we're so different."
"You are so not going to pull an Angel on me, Buff."
"What? No. I'm not....but..."
"Look. You love me?"
"Yes."
"And I love you."
"Yes?"
"Yes. So, we love each other."
"Uh huh."
"And we're married. And we have two beautiful children."
"Yup."
"So what the hell has been going on?"
Buffy hesitated, "I don't know... I've been stressed."
"About what? You didn't tell me."
"Well....about slaying. And you....and the kids. When...how are we going to tell them about....the world? About slaying, vamps, demons and all that? And what about even the so called normal stuff? What about love, romance, sex...pregnancy...drugs, alcohol and felony? How are we gonna deal when they start to learn about this stuff? And what if they learn it from somebody other than us, like a friend from school?"
"Buffy...we haven't come to that yet. They don't even go to school yet!"
"But they will soon."
"Yes. And we'll deal with it soon. We can just....read parenting books. You know, Chicken Soup for the Parent's Soul and all that human jazz."
Buffy laughed, and put her head on his shoulder gently.
"So we're staying together, why? For the kids?"
"No. For us."
"Oh. Ok."
*
"I hope Mommy and Daddy are having a nice time." Randy said, and Joan giggled, "I think they went to have sex."
"WHAT!?" Anya and Xander yelled in panic, "Where would you hear something like that, Joany?"
"From preschool." said Joan simply, and Xander went red.
"Do you know what sex is?" Anya's eyes twinkled, and Joan bashfully shook her head.
"Well, there are many different kinds of sex..."
*
"That was different." Buffy panted and wrapped the sheet around her thin body.
"Yeah. Wow."
"How do you think the kids are doing?"
"Oh, jeez, Buffy! You bring up our children when I'm trying to calm down?"
Buffy laughed, "Sorry."
"And about that worry about where they'll learn it all..."
"Yeah?"
"We'll tell them. How about when they turn nine?"
"Yeah. We could do that. Hey!"
"What?"
"We could tell them about Santa Claus then too!"
"And the Easter Bunny?"
"No! We couldn't...I couldn't! I loved the Easter Bunny. That part broke my little girl heart."
"Awww. Poor Little Girl Buffy."
"Yeah, I heard about it at school. Then I snuck out of bed and found her hiding chocolate eggs."
"That must have been traumatizing."
"It was."
"What about Santa?"
"Naw...he was a crock. I knew that."
"How? Did you catch your mom in the act?"
"No...my only wish one year was that my parents would stay together."
They looked at each other, then Spike wiped a tear forming in her eye.
"That's not going to happen with our kids. They're not going to have any idea Santa isn't real until we tell them, ok?"
Buffy smiled at him, "Ok."
*
It's hard to wake up
When the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted
It's so pathetic
It makes no sense at all
I'm ripe with things to say
The words rot and fall away
What stupid poem could fix this home
I'd read it every day
So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you're dead and gone
Will you remember this night, twenty years
now lost
It's not right
Their anger hurts my ears
Been running strong for senven years
rather than fix the problems, they never
solve them
It makes no sense at all
I see them every day
We get along, so why can't they?
If this is what he wants and this is what
she wants
Then why is there so much pain?
So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you're dead and gone
Will you remember this night, ywenty years
now lost
It's not right
