Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the story idea and only some of the witty remarks. I own so little; so please don't steal.

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It Wasn't For A Gold, But…

Canada was not amused.

He had sent a moose to maul America. The moose had been considered a pet and was currently struggling against its leash to fulfill its original duty. He had collected his geese and had them fly over America while he was walking to get a Coke and had them simultaneously poo. America, with all his bad timing, actually managed to get under a roof before the poo could hit him.

He had tried pelting America with snowballs while he was celebrating and that just turned into a snowball fight among Team USA which made America happy (not what Canada had intended).

He had tried pouring maple syrup (mourning the loss of such a delicious treat on such a useless 'my way' kind of nation) on America's bed, and America had decided not to sleep that night.

So he tried his last resort; personally confront America. Do so in full hockey gear, helmet, hockey stick, puck in mouth sort of confrontation. Skates in hand, blades up, threatening stance. Sure, it had taken America a couple of minutes to notice he was being glared at but when he was finally noticed, the effect was satisfactory.

"Put those blades down, Canada, you could slice Germany's head off."

"I will make sure you pay heavily for this, America."

England had been hoping for a peaceful night, just laying low like he'd been doing for the past week, when America and Canada burst in, America covered with bruises and melting snow and shouting something about jealous brothers and homicide and Canada decked out in wet hockey gear yelling something about cheating and egos and stupidity and general lack of brain cells and knew he was in for a rather long consolation night.

Owari

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Note: 5 – 3 my dear people. Canada is NOT pleased. I'm a teamster for Canada, so you know how I roll. Review if you agree. Or even if you disagree. I will meet you anywhere and anytime, in MY hockey gear.