Author's note - This take place in an AU so don't fret if it is different from the show it is supposed to be.
There's Truth in Your Lies,
Doubt in Your Faith,
Alone With All Your Secrets
"I am the one that gripped you tight and raised you from perdition," Castiel's strong voice bellowed through Dean's sleeping mind waking him up instantly. Dean sat up looking over at his brother who slept crookedly on the bed next to his. "Dean," another angelic whisper came calling out to the man.
"Castiel?" Dean asked wanting to see that angel desperately. Castiel's voice whispered the his name again beckoning him outside the hotel. "Cas, where are you?" Dean asked as he walked outside.
"I'm over here Dean," Castiel called. Dean followed Castiel's voice until he came upon a clear where the angel stood looking in his direction.
"What are you doing here Castiel, I thought you were preparing for the war?" Dean asked walking closer to Castiel.
"We are but I had to warn you Dean. There are things in the war that will be terrible and it will rip us apart it will make you hate me and before that happens I needed to know what you feel," Castiel explained his face softening as he spoke.
"Cas, the angels can't force you to do anything that you don't want to do. You have to follow what you believe and if you think it's wrong don't do it," Dean's voice angered as he spoke. Dean loved Castiel he needed him and if Cas didn't learn that he can answer no then he would make him.
"It's not that easy Dean. I can have my grace taken away, they can rip my wings out and never give them back I have to listen to them," Castiel was desperate he need Dean to understand that he didn't want to do this but he had to by order.
"Castiel, what do you believe is the right thing to do?" Dean asked
trying to understand his belief's.
"I believe that I am an angel for a specific reason and I will do what I need to do in order to save people."
"Castiel are you not listening to me? You do not believe in ruthless murder; you do not conform to orders! You do what you believe is right what makes you happy!" Dean yelled trying to push past Castiel's moral standards.
"You make me happy Dean. I have gained feelings inside me that I cannot ignore much longer but Dean I cannot love you when the world will soon be at war. I cannot risk the pain of a loss when I have lost everything myself," a tear was shed between the two men as Castliel's words spoke of his truth.
"Cas please don't do this to me. I need you now more than ever. I need you to help me live, help me learn! I love you Cas!" Dean yelled grabbing Castiel's face in his hands pressing his strong rough lips against Castiel's soft angelic ones. In the moment of their kiss the world around them stop moving, the moon shined brightly over the lovers in their moment of truth. The kiss broke shortly after it started too short for Dean's liking.
"I love you Dean but I must be in the war, it is my destiny to save people to save you," Castiel whispered his sad eyes looking in Dean's lonely ones.
"Don't leave me Cas. Sam and I can't do this on our own," Dean's eyes watered as Cas looked away.
"I'm sorry Dean but I must do this," Castiel voice spoke as he gently pressed his lips to Dean's before vanishing as fast as he came. Dean's life felt empty as he fell to the forrest floor tears over flowing from his green eyes. The pain of loneliness returning to him.
"Dean? Is that you?" Sam's voice snapped Dean into reality.
"He's gone Sam, he might not be back this time," Dean's voice cracked as he spoke through the tears. Sam wrapped his arms around the shorted brother holding him close to lighten the pain.
