Disclaimer: Do not own the brilliance that is Death Note
0 - The Fool
'What am I doing here?'
This is what Light thought as he looked around the small, barren cell. He sat on the hard floor with his ankles bound, and his arms fastened behind his back. It hurt, intensively. He had been like this for quite some time, and the unchanging position of his body had become very painful. He remembered why he was here and who had agreed to his confinement. He called the name:
"Ryuzaki…"
Without waiting for acknowledgement, Light pleaded his case. Yes, it was his idea to do this and he had chosen to participate in it. However, it was pointless to continue any further. He was not Kira. There was no way he could be Kira.
His heart sank as he listened to Ryuzaki's reply, coming from a camera located high in the wall.
Ryuzaki will not allow his release. He reminds Light of the promise he made to him. He would not let Light out until it was determined he was Kira or he was not. Ryuzaki emphasizes that this condition was what Light wanted as well. Light knows that. He recalls saying it. However, he is not Kira. The reasoning he used, prior to being imprisoned, was that he could be Kira and not recollect it. Even to his mind, that sounds implausible. He cannot comprehend, now, how he ever came up with such a fantastical idea.
He defends himself, eyes intently and earnestly looking at the camera; at the man behind it. Ryuzaki agrees with him that Kira has acted of his own free will. He feels a small bit of hope upon hearing the detective's concurrence. He puts forth the rest of his argument. Kira acted with full knowledge and cognizance. Therefore, lacking consciousness of such acts, Light cannot be Kira.
When Ryuzaki drops the bomb; the small bit of hope he had is instantly snuffed. The killings stopped when he, Light, was confined. He thinks furiously and desperately for a reason the murders would cease, coincidentally, upon his detention. Light feels his heart beating faster and hears his voice rising when he counters that he must have been framed. Perhaps someone on the investigation team is the real culprit. He is not lying. He tells Ryuzaki that too. However, it is all to no avail. The captivity continues.
Weeks pass. There are several more exchanges, arguments, between Light and the implacable detective. No matter what he says, Ryuzaki will not let him out. His arms no longer hurt; nor does his back, legs, or anywhere else. His body has become numb. What does hurt is Light's sense of integrity and pride. It angers and pains him to be thought of as Kira.
Light has always had a keen sense of justice. Even now he is…was…attending school to prepare to follow in his father's footsteps. His dream was to be a police investigator and, like his dad, make the world a better place for everyone. Sure, there were some people who were a threat to society. Those who broke the laws and, in the process, hurt many others. The solution, in his mind, was rehabilitation. That was why he wanted to be the one to catch them. It was essential to make the world a peaceful and safe haven for the innocent. However, it was also necessary to capture criminals and give them an opportunity to mend their ways. The prison system wasn't perfect but it gave people a chance; a possibility of redemption.
Kira's way was abhorrent to Light. The idea of executing people for committing crimes was completely wrong and unjustified. Of paramount importance was that every person, convicted or accused of breaking the law, be given a chance to defend themselves. Every case was different just as every person was unique. To simply murder, with no thought or idea as to a person's circumstances, made Kira no better than the criminals he targeted. Kira's failure to realize this was unfathomable to Light. The relentless annihilation of criminals was evil, and created fear and dread in the world. Kira was a monster who obviously had no understanding of the sanctity of human life. That was the kind of person Ryuzaki thought Light was. Behind the fury and outrage was a much darker feeling. It was something very close to despair.
The days pass in a monotony only broken by rare conversations and disagreements with Ryuzaki, meals arriving, and sleep. Finally, one day, things change. Aizawa arrives and, upon releasing Light's legs, takes him from the room. His hands are freed and he is told to take a shower and provided with fresh clothes. He tries to ask Aizawa for information about the case, about what his fate is, but receives only silence. When his hands are cuffed behind his back, and he is led to an underground parking garage; he begins to feel trepidation. Once there, a car pulls up and he sees his father driving and Misa in the back seat. The sight reassures him and he feels his anxiety begin to abate. He climbs in and talks to Misa, all the while looking at the back of his dad's head.
His father is acting strange. Light's first thought, upon release, was that he had been vindicated. However, his dad's silence and his own cuffed hands do not give him that sense anymore. He feels dread churning in his stomach as he questions his father about what is happening. The answer is horrible. Ryuzaki has concluded that Light is Kira, and Misa is the second Kira. They both are to be executed. He tries to process this as he argues with his father. He thinks that things cannot get any worse and does not know what he has done to deserve this.
When his dad pulls off the road into an empty field, under a bridge, Light finds out things can get worse; much worse. For the first time, a gun is being held to his head. All he can see is the gun, his father's uncompromising, hard face; and death. He knows true terror and panic as the gun goes off. He waits for the sensation of pain and then nothingness to assail him. Light's brain is frozen in shock, and he cannot move or speak when all that happens is a very loud noise: the sound of a blank being fired.
"Thank God…"
He hears his dad's relief and his explanation that this pantomime act was the only way to end the confinement. When Ryuzaki speaks over a hidden camera, the rest is filled in. If Light was Kira, and Misa the second Kira, then Soichiro would have been killed before he could fire the gun. He was not and so Ryuzaki will allow them their freedom, although Misa will be put under surveillance. Light knows he should feel elation at this news. However, after being in seclusion for so long, and believing his own father was going to commit a murder-suicide; he is far too worn out to react exuberantly. Ryuzaki goes on to state that he will ensure Light and he are together, twenty-four hours a day, to work towards capturing Kira.
Light's numbness evaporates and he sits forward in his seat, eagerly. Not only does he have his freedom, he has the opportunity to join forces with Ryuzaki to apprehend a mass murderer. The suspicion he was under has hurt his pride, and his father's too. He adds that to the list of things Kira must be held accountable for. With Ryuzaki and him working together, combining their genius-level intellects, the killer will not remain free for long.
Ryuzaki must finally believe him, that he is not a murderer. For the first time in over fifty days, Light smiles.
"You got it, Ryuzaki! Let's catch Kira together!"
The smile only grows wider when he hears Ryuzaki's reply.
"Yes, I am pleased to be working with you."
Tbc
Author's notes:
The Major Arcana of the tarot can be read in a number of ways. For the purposes of this fic, I have chosen to use them in numerical order. In that way, they build upon one another and show the journey of the soul. At the end of each chapter, I will detail the meaning of the card. I have used tarot cards for years and some parts of the definitions are from my own thoughts. However, I also used two sources which are:
1. Seventy Eight Degrees of Wisdom by Rachel Pollack
2. Tarot Plain and Simple by Anthony Louis
0 - The Fool
a beginning, a new journey, innocence, a surprising solution, purity, unpredictability, a naive and/or uncommon person who follows their heart even though their actions may appear foolish or reckless to others, an unconventional, independent, and eccentric person who affects the subject, zero is the number of pure potential, the numberless number, from which all things are possible
If anyone has anything to add to these interpretations, I would love to hear from you! I am always eager to learn more about the tarot. As well, the title Arcanas refers to the tarot theme and also to secrets and mystery.
One last point: the first two chapters of this fic, and part of the third, follow canon events closely. Therefore, I have used dialogue from the manga. These conversations are important to the plot of this story. I have chosen not to paraphrase them because I really don't feel I can improve upon the source material. Just wanted to give an explanation so it's not too jarring!
Thank you for reading!
