I don't own anything.
Mentions of past drug use and suicide.
Dr. Spencer Reid lay awake staring at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Tobias and what happened.
He had nearly died. It had made him realise how easy it would all be. To just die, stop living. He wasn't thinking of killing himself but it would be so easy to. Reid shook his head. Annoyed at himself. He had his team to call and ask for help, he had his best friend and he had… Reid shook his head again. After what had happened he realised how much he needed him but over half a decade of not talking. He might not ever want to speak to him.
Slowly he drifted off to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~Criminal Minds~~~~~~~~~~
Reid shot up in bed gasping for breath and trying to scream after the nightmare. He didn't even realise he had his phone in hand until it was already ringing.
He prayed that he wouldn't pick up and he prayed that he would.
"Hello" came the groggy voice down the phone.
"Hi." Reid answered immediately.
"Spencer? Is that you?"
"Yeah. I- It's me."
"A-are you okay? Is mom okay? Is something wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong. Mom is fine. I'm… I'm not okay, though. I… You- I don't know why I called you."
"I do."
"Why?"
"What are you surprised I knew something before the all-knowing-Genius Spencer Reid?"
Despite the terror he felt that brought a smile to his face.
"C'mon man. Why did I call you?" Spencer asked falling into the old, familiar routine.
There was silence down the phone for a minute. "I'm your brother that's why."
"Thanks, Stryke."
"You're welcome, Spencer." Stryker was quiet for another moment. "Where are you?"
"No, man you don't have to-"
"You're my brother, you need me, I think I do."
Spencer gave Stryker his address.
"Okay, it'll take me a little under three hours to get there. You can either get some sleep until I get there or you can set out all the geeky movies you have and we'll watch them together."
Spencer smiled. "I guess I'll see you then."
"I guess you will. Now go grab a half-hours shut eye, genius. Otherwise that over-sized brain of yours will turn to mush."
"Thanks Stryke." Spencer said, in a not entirely sarcastic voice.
"For what, you'd do the same for me?" Stryker asked, picking up on the genuine gratefulness.
"No, thanks for picking up the phone."
Stryker smiled as he pulled out of his driveway. He could probably make it in just over two hours. It was the middle of the night but what Spencer didn't realise was that even after all these years he still knew what it sounded like when he was a minute away from breaking down.
Some people would be annoyed when someone knocks on the door at 3am. But when it's your twin brother who you haven't seen for years…
Spencer smiled tiredly at Stryker.
"Hey."
"You look like crap man. Seriously, I called that Morgan guy, he told me, how are you?"
Spencer shrugged and he tried not to cry when Stryker hugged him.
"It's okay, you know. I won't tell anyone." He whispered in Spencer's ear.
Growing up raising two younger girls meant pushing aside your own problems, and unfortunately Spencer had been the main caretaker.
That opened the flood gates and soon Reid was sobbing brokenly on his brother's shoulder.
"it's okay, it's okay. You're safe now. He's gone. Remember that he's gone. I'm here, your team's there. It's okay."
Spencer took a deep breath telling himself that it was true.
"Thanks for coming." He mumbled.
"Thanks for calling."
Spencer pulled back and looked into eyes that were only a shade off of his own. Stryker smiled that smile that Reid knew all too well as his look of brushing off the fact that he had been about to do something stupid.
"Stryker. When you're gonna do something stupid, call me. When you're feeling lonely or sad or hurt, call me. When you're bored or angry or I don't know, you call me okay? Don't go back down that road again."
"I won't if you take your own advice. Now, talk to me. Derek didn't say everything but it sounds pretty bad. Especially when you're alone."
"Yeah, fine. It was… I never realized how much I needed you when that shit happened."
"Pence, Morgan told me this Toby guy, gave you drugs. I'm only gonna ask this once: Do. You. Still. Have. Them?"
"yes. I don't know why I took them, but yes."
Spencer led his brother to the medicine cabinet. He took out the vials and shamefully gave them to him.
"Hey, you didn't take them." Stryker comforted. "Remember that."
Stryker threw the vials away and made Reid swear on their mother's life that he didn't have any more. After that they both sprawled out on the couch and watched the Star Wars movies.
