Sometimes, this part of whatever fucked up relationship they had was what Jenna liked best.
Just sitting in the campus coffee shop, papers and books and other various study materials strewn across their laps. They always got there early so they could snag the couch, the most comfortable sitting area––but even then, it was sort of an unspoken rule, among the frequenters of the coffee shop, and its employees. That couch was for Jenna Sommers and Isobel Flemming, and it always would be. At least, when Isobel visited on the weekends.
Isobel took another lazy draught from her simmering black coffee as she listened to Jenna ramble. She had always been the more talkative one; more animated, more overt about the ardor she held for both her research and her field of study. Isobel was the quieter of the two; she had a wiser, more subdued passion. More serious. Jenna was only beginning to fall in love with her major, whereas Isobel had been for years.
'So, what do you think, Bel?' Jenna finally said, bringing Isobel back into the conversation with a questioning glance. 'God, or no God?'
'God,' Isobel said, reflexively. It shouldn't have surprised anyone. She and Jenna held a thick stare before she noticed the blond's raised eyebrow prompting her to explain herself. 'Think about it,' she began on the exhale, 'everything I've dedicated my college career to studying has proved the existence of the supernatural. I can't believe in the undead if I don't believe in God too.'
Jenna mused on this. 'Must be why I don't believe in him, then,' she said, curtly. 'And if you'd been listening to me for the past fifteen minutes, you'd have a more in-depth reason than that. But you're being a jerk, and you zoned out on me again,' she finished, punching Isobel playfully in the shoulder. Isobel's expression didn't change. Jenna sighed. 'What's up, bug?'
'Nothing,' Isobel said, unblinkingly. 'Nothing,' she repeated. 'I just wish I could make you believe.'
'Well, you can't, but it's cute that you try,' Jenna said, smiling faintly. 'Now,' she said, adjusting her glasses, 'here's what I'm thinking for my thesis: the influence of––'
'Oh, I don't care about your damned thesis,' Isobel suddenly snapped, eyes flaring in Jenna's direction. 'Can't you understand that it means nothing? That this means nothing? Nothing! We're sitting here having a conversation about nothing, Jenna, and I'm not going to take part in it anymore. I can't. I have to be part of something more, something bigger, something other than just myself and your stupid thesis and whatever it is we have together. Haven't you ever thought that, Jenna? Haven't you ever wanted to be part of something so much bigger than just Jenna?'
Stunned at this uncharacteristically vociferous display, Jenna's mouth hung open for a moment before she blinked and wet her lips, hazarding an ill-formed response with, 'No, I––I've never felt like this wasn't enough, Isobel. I don't really understand where you're coming from. But I'm sorry I'm not enough.'
'You're missing the point,' Isobel said, frustratedly. She set her mug down on the coffee table in front of the couch and swiveled her body to face Jenna's. 'You don't understand. Jenna, you just––' she sighed. 'I want to make you understand. I want to make you believe,' she said, finally, taking Jenna's face in her hands in an abnormally tender move. 'Your life means nothing, but it could. I could make it mean something.'
Jenna knit her brows together. 'I don't understand what you're saying, Isobel, what do you m––'
'That's just it! You don't understand, but I can make you, if you let me.'
The blond's hands snaked up and grabbed Isobel's wrists, gently removing them from her face. Her eyes were ripe with concern as she said, softly, 'Isobel, when was the last time you used acid?'
'Oh, for God's sake, Jenna, this isn't some fucking acid trip, this is reality––this––this could be reality, I'm saying. Don't you understand? Can't you get that through your thick skull?'
'I think we need some space, Bel. We've been spending a lot of time together lately, and I don't think it's healthy, because I'm not exactly being a g––'
'I want to spend more time with you, Jenna. That's what I'm talking about. I want to spend forever with you, but you can't seem to understand and I don't know why.'
She froze. 'What are you saying, Isobel?'
'Forget it. Forget it, Jenna.' Isobel had clearly lost patience. She leaned over, grabbed her satchel, and said, before she stormed out the door, 'Just forget all about it.'
She watched her go, with a look more like relief than pain.
