Well I'm alive and well, first off. It's been a while since I've even been on so it's a little weird to look over some of my stories and the reviews. Thanks much to those who have been hanging in there.

I've rewritten the prologue to You Are My Sanity because I wrote it about a year ago, and there were just some poor grammar and spelling usages. So here is the updated version, and there should be a new chapter out within the next week.

Enjoy.


He was gone.

Sirius watched as the old minister utter a gentle prayer, wanting nothing more than to flee from the area and into the nearest pub where he could drown in his despair in private. And yet, despite the feelings that were tearing his insides to shreds, he couldn't pull his eyes away from the scorching fire, or the tear-stained faces of his friends.

From the small cliff they were gathered on, Sirius could hear the waves of the ocean crashing angrily against the rocks below. The dark, raging water mirrored the cloudy sky, as if all of nature was reflecting his inner turmoil.

No one spoke. The only sounds heard over the ocean's roar were their muffled cries.

Finally, when Sirius thought he could bear no more, the priest had finished his prayer, and with a simple hand motion, reflecting the blessing of god, he bowed his head. Two men, completely clad in black, stepped forward, wands at the ready. But before they could utter a word, the crowd parted and before them stepped a bearded old man, with half-moon spectacles resting jauntily on his nose. With one wave of his hand, the two exchanged glances before respectfully stepping aside, allowing Albus Dumbledore himself to approach the edge of the overhang.

Sirius' eyes focused on the tired form of Dumbledore. With a wave of his wand, their headmaster sent a small shower of glimmering gold sparks towards the orange flames. The smoldering ashes of what was once a Gryffindor Quidditch robe were sent flying off the end of the cliff, and out to the now calming sea.

A hushed silence fell over all attending, and the quiet cries and sobs finally diminished. Peaceful could possibly describe the feeling of the end of the service. Families bunched together, mothers and fathers kissing their children and embracing friends. Consoling words were exchanged warmly, in a genuine attempt to bring life back to its norm, as it inevitably does after such events happen.

Sirius watched on, angry and sad that the sight brought him no sense of comfort. The nausea that had his stomach clenched in a vice grip was now threatening to surface. His head was swimming, and the tears he'd held back for the last few months were stinging his eyes, trying to be let free.

There were too many people. It was all too much. Everything screamed at him to run. And before anyone could stop him, instinct took over, and he fled the funeral, ignoring his parents' failed attempts to grab him and the worried eyes of his friends.

Scrambling down the side of the cliff, he rushed over the large rocks at the bottom, and towards the beach.

But as it started to drizzle, the ground became muddy and the rocks grew slippery. Sirius ignored the rain as it grew harder, and felt the heavy weight on his shoulders lifting as he neared the beach.

He needed to drown. The annoying patter of the rain on his face wasn't good enough. And the cold dark waves looked so inviting.

But before he made it there, his foot slipped on a rock and he tumbled down, landing unceremoniously on the ground with a sickening thud.

At that moment, the damn broke, and kneeling on the ground, he clutched his stomach as he vomited, emptying his body of what little he'd had for dinner three nights previously. And then the painful dry-heaving started.

When he'd finally finished, all the energy he had left in his body had fled him. Unconsciously he wiped his mouth, and staggered a few feet backwards. He hadn't even noticed he'd started crying. It was pouring now. The rain running in streams down his cheeks merged with the tears now falling freely from his grey eyes.

All he tasted was salt.

"Sirius?"

He didn't even bother turning around to see who the voice belonged to. At that moment he didn't really care. Then a hand was gently placed on his shoulder, and swallowing his pride, Sirius turned around.

Lily didn't acknowledge that he looked like shit. She was in no better condition. Her red hair was tangled and ratty, hanging limply off her shoulders. Her clothes were worn and black, and her normally bright green eyes were red and puffy, surrounded by menacing dark circles-silent proof of many sleepless nights.

Sirius stared at her. It was all he could think to do, as no words came to mind. His brain wasn't functioning properly, and he found with a bit of frustration, he could not get his stupid mouth to move.

However his struggle was cut short when Lily dropped the black umbrella she'd been holding, and dove into his arms. Without a word, Sirius wound his arms around her frail, shaking form and held her, perhaps a bit too tightly. She didn't complain though, and Sirius buried his face in her mess of hair, letting her sob into his chest.

Seconds later, he was aware of another familiar hand on his shoulder. Glancing up, Sirius met Remus' watery smile. Silently, he stretched out an arm to his friend, and the slightly shorter boy took the invited embrace with relief, joining the tangled mess of limbs.

And the rain pounded mercilessly down on them, soaking them to the bone, and drowning out the heart wrenching sounds of their choked sobs. Together they stood, and together they mourned for the loss of their friend.

For the loss of James Potter.