All characters are Ms. Meyers... I own only my thoughts and details. Anything that seems familiar is not mine. I wanted to pre-warn all reaaders... There may be some things in future chapters that might bother other readers. Such as the BDSM topics or what is in Bella's past. Please do not read if contend of sex bothers you!


My face flushed as he passed me. Memories from our time as best friends flooded my brain and I had to stop mid stride to catch my breath.

Me… Bella Swan wasn't even noticed, I mean it has been 5 years since he saw me and I did change but I guess I'm more invisible then I thought. Edward and I were best friends in 6th and 7th grade, he was my saving grace. He stopped me from doing the unthinkable. Then I went to visit my mom for Christmas and I never came back. It was more of a… not even my choice kinda thing. I missed him so much and the only reason I lived was because of thoughts of him.

I came back to Forks, Washington in 11th grade. This was our first day so not that many people noticed me or it could be that I'm nothing, but let me start from the beginning.

I tear my heart open,

I sow myself shut,

My weakness is that I cant do much,

And my scars remind that the past is real,

I tear my heart open just to feel.

The radio blared Papa Roach and I rolled over mumbling about more sleep. The song persisted on telling me to get up. Pushing the thick blanket off me in one quick movement, my hand pressed down on the silence button and my feet carried me to my shabby closet.

Pressing my body up against the door and lifting it, I loudly pulled the bitch open. My body rested against the frame as I quickly scanned the clothes I had hanging up.

My mind wandered to the day I came back. It was only 3 weeks ago and my two bags were half unpacked, some things hung limp on the hangers and the rest of my 'summer' clothes were in a suit case, seeing as even in September it was too cold to wear them.

Sighing I grabbed a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and an oversized sweat shirt. As I put on my undergarments, I pulled out a black spaghetti strap shirt and put it on under my bright blue, Spring Grove Rocket Scientists sweatshirt.

What the hell I thought I didn't really show school spirit before why don't I show them all of my joy towards being here.

Even as I prayed I wouldn't see him I knew I still couldn't wait to get a glimpse of him. See how well he was or if he was happy. I shuffled down stairs with my hair around my face and my glasses on.

"Morning" I grumbled out to Charlie watching him as he took a double take as he stared at my clothes choice.

"Morning… Sweetie are you sure you want to where that your first day of school?" He asked me, sipping his black cup of coffee.

"This is what I wear." Was the only answer he got.

"Is that the new fashion? Whatever you say, I hope you get to meet up with all of your old friends."

"Mhmm."

I swiftly dumped the rest of the water in my cup down the sink and picked up my bag off the floor near the tree rack.

"See you later sweetie I should be back from the station around 7 ok?"

"Yup."I called back, waving my hand as a salute.

Jumping into my black Ford Mustang, I felt a little better as I the engine revved under me. Charlie wasn't that thrilled when he found out what I drove. I chuckled at the memory. Charlie's eyes wide and a grimace carefully placed on his face.

My fingers beat to the music playing from the radio and I started to relax, rolling my shoulders as I prepared myself for the first day of high school in hell.

A shiny Volvo tried to pull up in front of me but I screeched into the spot in front of the old man car an honest grin stretched from ear to ear.

I lightly laughed as I pulled my cell phone and placing it in my pocket. I had music quietly playing in the background, and I noticed a shiny red convertible next my baby… taunting it with its brazen color. Walking into my past I examined the people around me, hoping they wouldn't notice me.

My morning went shameless and I even met this short wild girl. She had great style but frowned at what I was wearing. We had art 3 together and sitting in study hall I remembered our encounter.

Sitting down I sat up front of an over sized room. It had black tables in a small square and then a circle of easels in the corner. I carefully waited to see how full this room would become.

Most people sat at least 4 seats away from me, whispering under their breathes. I caught a few of the comments made about me. A tall girl with pale blond hair glanced my way and told her short red headed friend how I looked like a murder. How I probably sold drugs on the side and was a complete dork with no fashion sense.

As I went to turn towards her and show her how much of a murder I could be Alice, a short black haired pixie like girl shoved my books to the side and sat directly next to me. I heard a hush take over the room as she smiled at me.

"Ello, beautiful." I greeted her, with a cheeky smile.

Her laugh rung through the room and she placed her hand on my royal blue covered arm.

"Sorry, I highly doubt my fiancé would like me to get it on in front of all these people. Not that he wouldn't love our show." Was how we became fast friends.

We talked the rest of class and she told me to sit with her at lunch to give her more details of my life and meet her true love.

I hadn't seen him and I was beginning to think he moved away, well at least until I saw him between my study hall and lunch period. I was banging on my old dented locker when I finally got it to clash with the other locker next to it. I had started to hum to the song playing around me as I shoved the rest of my stuff into my shitty assed metal box and when I finally slammed it closed… that's when I saw him.

He was walking down the hall way a half naked girl next to him. His hair was the same unruly mess and I could see he still had his cocky attitude.

I openly gawked at him and missed the guy standing next to me.

"Well I see you have fallen to the dark side. I'm Jake." A tall native boy said as he elbowed me out of my stupor.

Glaring up at the thing next to me I offered him one of my most sarcastic smiles. "Well aren't you the smart one… hmm then again your still standing next to me so you can't be that smart."

My long boring brown hair whipped out behind me as I made my way to the lunch room.


Thanks for reading I should have the next chapter up by the end of the week. Please review... good, bad, ugly... as all as the truth comes were good. Thank you so much.

~MidnightPleasures