Fall At Your Feet

"Whenever I fall at your feet. You let your tears rain down on me. Whenever I touch your slow turning pain. You're hiding from me now." – Fall At Your Feet by Crowded House.

I woke up early, the weak sunlight of a clear skied Sunday streaming through the windows and into the dormitory. I was dimly aware of something warm next to me, and it wasn't until that something warm wound an arm around my torso that I bolted up, eyes wide, sitting up perfectly straight in the not quite double bed.

The dormitory, I thought hazily, the green and silver dormitory. Wait, green and silver?

I was an idiot, you could say that much. I had woken up in his bed, yet again, woken up in the green and silver room in our special little 'head's dormitory', when really I should be in the scarlet and gold one, less then ten metres away. What's more, I remembered perfectly well the conversation that had gotten me into this bed.

"Scor?" I asked quietly, tiptoeing into the moonlit bedroom, "Are you awake?"

"Rose?" he sat up in the four-poster and looked at me, taking in the sight of me, tear-stained face, shock of red hair, wearing only a singlet and underwear that was basically a mess of lace, as I clutched the red silk, tea towel sized section of cloth tighter to my chest.

"More nightmares, love?" he asked, worried.

"Yes," I whimpered, "Can I sleep in here tonight?"

"'Course," he answered simply, opening his arms as an invitation.

I took the invitation and crawled into his arms as he settled into the soft bed, pulling me down with him and wrapping his strong arms around my torso, as I lay over his chest.

"Thankyou," I whispered, shivering involuntarily at the coolness of his bare chest.

"Don't sweat it love," he replied calmly, "are you sure you don't want to talk about your nightmare this time?"

This was a frequent conversation we had, same place, same time. Enough said.

"No," I sighed.

He couldn't know what the source of my nightmares were, I wouldn't do that to him. He didn't need to know that I woke up, sweat dripping down my face, mingled with tears as I imagined him and one of his slags running off and getting married and him leaving me, his best friend in the whole world, alone.

Just to be safe, I reminded him of the last part.

"Scor?"

"Yeah, love?"

"You're my best friend, ever."

"Touché."

I smiled softly, as we both drifted off to sleep, intertwined both physically and emotionally.

And now this. This was always how it ended up, me waking up in his bed, very usually waking him up, then leaving to go and get ready for the school day, or day of homework or whatever, and us not speaking of what had happened. And then the cycle repeating itself a few nights later.

It had to stop.

"Rose," he said cautiously, pulling me back down towards his body, "are you alright, love?"

And that was it, that was when my frustration reached boiling point, watching him lay there, like nothing was wrong, like we hadn't just shared a bed!

"No! I'm not alright! I'm really not alright, Scorpius," I cried, jumping up out of bed and looking down at him, sadly, "you've got this beautiful, perfect, angel of a girlfriend, and yet here you are sharing a bed with me, your plain, bookwormish best friend! I mean, doesn't it seem a little weird to you Scorpius? Doesn't it seem like you should be discouraging me from climbing into your bed every other night! Honestly, it'd be less weird if we had sex in this bed, but we just lay here and act like there's nothing going on!"

"In my opinion, there is nothing going on!" he said, starting to raise his voice a little.

"Scor—" I started, but he cut me off.

"No, Rose, honestly, we're best friends, and that's it, there are no feelings!" he yelled, harshly.

"Maybe, not for you," I said quietly, running out of the room.

I loved him, and I perfectly well knew that I loved him. Not just friend love either; I was in love with Scorpius Malfoy. That's why I kept having nightmares and climbing into bed with him. Because I loved him, it was simple and he was an idiot not to see right through me.

An idiot not to see how desperately in love with him I am.

I spent my day in the library, alone, reading through books I had already read, as a distraction to the buzzing in my head and my internal conflict as to whether I should just go to Scorpius and apologise and tell him I would never get in his way again, or just leave it alone and let him come crawling to me.

I laughed at myself for thinking this, we saw each other every day, and shared a room, a bed most nights. Plus the fact that I didn't have enough will power to stay away from him in the first place.

It was pathetic how I had run out of that room, completely pathetic, I was running away from a problem, once I had actually had the guts to face up to it and nearly admit that I loved the boy, god dammit.

It was these little bursts of thoughts that ran through my head all day, until I realised it was dinnertime, and I was ravenous. So it was then that I left the library, and went to eat in the Great Hall.

I knew he would catch up with me eventually, would find me and confront me. That was what he was good at, confrontation.

He happened to find me packing some of my things into my book bag, fully intent on going and staying the night in the seventh year Gryffindor girl's dormitory with the girls, even though I had no bed there.

He strode in with his hands in his pockets, looking slightly smug.

"Running away are we?" he said coolly.

I turned around in surprise, not having actually fully registered in my mind the fact that he had entered the room.

I tried to keep up a cold façade though.

"No," I said coldly, rolling my eyes before turning back toward my bag, "just needing a night where I don't feel so lonely in this room."

"Well, you always end up in my room by morning, so why don't we just start of the night there instead? You won't be nearly so lonely then," he smirked, taking a step forward.

"You know exactly how I feel about that, Scorpius," I spat, throwing my hairbrush into my bag.

"I don't know if I do though, Rosie, I mean, I didn't quite understand what you said this morning?" he said, softening a bit, but still smirking.

I could see the pained look in his eyes, he was confused, and I knew it. But I couldn't re-explain to him.

Or I just didn't want to.

"Just leave me alone!" I said quietly, grabbing my bag and storming past him, out of the room.

He followed me, grabbing my arm and spinning me around just as I was about to open the door and leave our common room.

"Rose, hear me out, I'm sorry I sounded so conceited just then, and so oblivious this morning, but please," he pleaded.

"Leave me alone," I said again, anger building within me.

"Come on, Rosie, I'm sorry, I just want an explanation to why you acted the way you did this morning!" he said, still with the pained look in his eyes, and the pleading tone of voice.

"Fine!" I screamed, chucking my bag across the room. The bag hit a vase, which made a satisfying smash as it hit the floor.

"You want to know why I acted like I did this morning? Because I am so damn tired of playing this game, the one where I wake up in your bed, the one where your non stop flirting with me, the one where you care about my feelings so much that it must be dangerous to your health, running after your best friend when she's estranged. And don't call it friendship Scorpius, because, yes, that's what friends do for each other, but this is really something else."

I was angry, he could see it, but him being the freaking beautiful, caring, saint he was, still tried to keep making amends.

"Rose, I—"

"Don't bother, Scorpius, honestly, nothing you can say or do is going to change anything," I said, quiet again.

I walked slowly over to the couch and sunk down onto it, curling up in a ball and not caring if he was watching or not.

Then I felt strong arms wrap around my torso, as he had sat down and pulled me towards him, holding me while a few tears streaked down my face.

"This was really hurting you wasn't it?" he asked softly, burying his face in my hair, "I'm sorry, I'll be whatever you like, I'll just be your best friend and this twisted mess won't exist anymore."

No! My thoughts screamed selfishly. That's not what I want!

However, I didn't have the guts to say that, did I? But I wasn't going to let him keep holding me, while he had basically just rejected me.

I pulled out of his arms and scooted to the other side of the couch, crossing my legs and staring into space.

After a few moments I looked over at where he was sitting, watching me, looking confused, yet again.

"What do you want, Rose?" he asked, frustrated.

I ignored his question, and just said what was on my mind at that moment, however painful it was.

"I really wish I could hate you Scorpius," I said, my mouth pulling up into a weak smile that didn't reach my eyes.

He contemplated for a few moments before replying.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

I looked up at him again, fresh tears streaming down my face.

"Because you make me love you."

Then his mouth was on mine.

He lay me down and hovered over me, his mouth still moving against mine in an urgent yet soft way.

After a minute he pulled us back up into a sitting position, and looked me straight in the eye.

"Well, I'm glad I make you love me, because I'm so in love with you, Rose."

A/N – I'm alive! I know, its weird, right? But I'm alive and I am so sorry about my lack of anything lately. I promise I will update Life The Rose Way within a week, and then in that chapter's author's note you can hear all my pathetic excuses as to why I haven't updated! Anyway, some dialogue just came into my mind one day, and then this story was born, it's a bit sloppy, but I hope you enjoyed in nonetheless! xx