It was very difficult to describe exactly what George was, after the Battle at Hogwarts. Perhaps the best word to use, he thought, was lost. George was lost. For hours he wandered around the ruins of the castle. He hadn't slept or eaten for days and his mind was fuzzy. He floated through the halls and class rooms with no real purpose, passing by the injured and broken survivors as they gathered together. He did not search for his family or friends, he did not celebrate whatever victory this was or congratulate himself on staying alive. He simple wandered aimlessly. Eventually he found himself in his old dormitory, standing over his old bed. There was a large hole in the wall where a window use to be and debris carpeted the floors. Still, this place seemed safe. If he thought hard enough he could hear Fred's voice, even see him standing at the foot of his own bed.
"Like what they've done with the place." Fred might say with a smile. "bit more . . .airy." George walked over to the gaping hole his feet teasing the edge. He could just make out Hogsmeade in the distance. The shop. Oh the shop, he thought. How could he go back there? How could he stand there alone?
"Pretty isn't it?" George jumped, startled by the sudden appearance of someone else. Luna stood next to him her eyes taking in the view.
"Suppose." George said. Her presence made him uneasy.
"I wonder if the Umgubular Slashkilter's are alright?" She said casually as she swirled the tips of her tangled blond hair between her fingertips.
"Probably not." George said an edge in his voice. People were dead, his people, his person . . .they were dead. And here she was worrying about make believe creatures. He just wanted her to leave him alone.
"Oh I don't know." She said thoughtfully. "They're remarkably clever you know. I bet they faired much better than we did."
"Great. That's really bloody fantastic Luna." He nearly shouted.
"Oh." She said mildly, looking at him for the first time. "You're angry aren't you?"
"No, no I'm not." He sighed rubbing his face with his hands. "Sorry, I'm just, tired I guess." The truth was he wasn't tired at all but there was no other excuse he could give for his short temper. Or at least no other excuse he was willing to say out loud. "I think I'll just take a nap."
" Ok." Luna said turning on her heel. She stopped as she reached the door. "You should know though, it doesn't stop."
"What?" George asked.
"The hurt, it doesn't stop when you sleep." And with that she was gone and George was alone once again. Which really didn't feel as good as he'd hoped it would.
The walls were wonky and distorted. They stretched far above his head and rippled like they weren't solid. He couldn't think, his mind was slow and everything felt very odd. He stumbled forward and found himself at the entrance to the great hall. Fighting, there was a lot of fighting. Everywhere people shouted and screamed sparks of colour flying in every direction. He tried to run but his legs felt like lead. Someone was coming towards him. George went to pull out his wand but found he had none. The figure continued to approach. Stop, george thought as he covered his head with his hands, stop! Suddenly everything went silent, slowly he dropped his arms. The Great Hall was empty, everyone was gone. He felt something wet on his feet. Blood. The floor was covered in blood. He started forward and then noticed someone standing in the middle of the room.
"Who's there?" He called as he got closer. Wait a second, he thought, I know that face! "Fred!" He called running forward. "FRED." He reached him and instantly gave him a hug. He smiled as he let go, but something was wrong. Fred's eyes stared at him blankly, unseeing, a humorless smile on his lips. "Freds?" George said. "Fred what's wrong?" He shook his brother. "FRED? Talk to me Freddie!" But instead Fred crumpled on to the floor and lay there still. "No!" George cried. "No, no, no, no! Please!" He begged the lifeless body. "Wake up! Come on wake up!" In his panic he hadn't notice that the blood was rising, it was now up to his knees. His waist. His shoulders. He tried to take his brother with him but his body was too heavy. He scrambled up chairs and tables trying to escape but it was no use. He was drowning in blood.
"George?" a voice called out.
"Fred! Fred I'm here, I'm here!" George replied.
"George? George? Wake up George." George sat right up his face covered in sweat. But that wasn't all. He felt his cheeks, tears. He'd been crying. "George dear?" His mother said tentatively. It'd been three weeks since that day. Three of the Hardest weeks George had ever had to endure.
"What is it mum?" He said breathlessly. She sat on the bed opposite him, her gaze pitying.
"You've barely left your room." She said softly. "I think, I think you need to go outside, talk to people."
"I'd really rather not." He said slowly trying to keep his voice steady. "People are overrated if you ask me." She didn't smile and neither did he.
"Georgie please?" She said. "For me, will you try for me?" He swallowed which was surprisingly more difficult than usual.
"Sure mum." He said. "I'll try." She gave him a weak smile and kissed his forehead.
"You don't have to forget him, heavens knows we wont, you just have to live. Live for him." It was perhaps the most cliche, sappy thing George had ever heard. Live for him? How exactly was he suppose to do that?
"Thanks. I will." He said.
Eventually he managed to dress himself and walk down to the kitchen. It was full, full of people which was exactly what he'd been dreading. There were always people in this house.
"George." Hermione said being the first to spot him. "Hi."
"Morning." He said with a nod.
"Actually it's nearly supper." Ginny said quietly.
"Whatever." Everyone just stared at him, like an exhibit in a zoo. The remaining twin.
"We better get you a chair." Ron said awkwardly and mostly to the floor.
"He can sit next to me." Luna sang. "There's a spot right here." He really didn't mind sitting next to Luna. She seemed to be the least weird around him. Or at least no weirder than she was with anyone else. After a painfully long awkward pause the conversation gradually started up again. It had never bothered him before, the noise.
"You look ill." Luna said pleasantly. "Have you eaten any Aquavirius Maggot's lately? I hear they're quite poisonous."
"Not in recent memory no." He said.
"Oh." She almost sounded disappointed. "Might just be a cold then."
"Might be." She stared off into space. "Luna?"
"Yes?" She said refocusing.
"How did you know?" He said quietly.
"About the Aquavirius Maggot's?"
"No, that . . .that the pain wouldn't stop." His voice was barely a whisper.
"Well, when my mother died, I didn't want to leave my bed I just cried and slept and for some reason I thought that would make it all better, that, that was easier then going outside."
"And?" He asked.
"It's much easier to find reasons to be happy when you're not shut up in your room thinking about all the reasons you have to be sad." She said simply. George contemplated this.
"Does it ever . . .you know, stop?" He asked cautiously.
"No, no I don't think it does. It get's easier though, it gets better."
"Thank you Luna." He said. She smiled and put her hand on top of his.
"You don't have to punish yourself you know, for being the one who lived."
