Disclaimer: Zero no Tsukaima does not belong to me.

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Louise's Tears

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There they are again, flirting with each other like nobody's business.

Louise had woken up and had expected her familiar to be sleeping by her side. The past few days after he had confessed his love for her had been like a dream come true. She felt as if she was walking on air, knowing that the person she liked had come to reciprocate her feelings.

Saito had been incredibly sweet the past few days. It was like he treated her unlike that of a fierce master, but rather like a, Louise blushed, a lover.

She had woken up, with the expectations of finding herself wrapped tightly around Saito, with his arms possessively wrapped around her waist. She liked moments like these the most, when none of them were talking. Being in the silence together and just enjoying the moment of being wrapped around each others' warmth, this is what Louise liked best, even more so than her favourite Cookberry Pie.

But what is this scene before her? Saito and the maid, Siesta, are so evidently flirting openly with each other. They seemed to be in a little world of their own, one which no one, not even Louise as Saito's master and as the girl he professed his love to, could attempt to break into.

Oh how much did Louise want to just march up right there confidently like ever before in the past and just whip Saito till she's satisfied! How much did she want to just go interrupt them and give Siesta the meanest and hardest glare she could muster!

Louise looked on from the sidelines, hidden by a rock pillar. She heard their laughter, Siesta's one clear and twinkling, full of feminine charm. Saito's one full of warmth and joy, it seemed as though it came straight from his heart, as though... as though, he really enjoyed this.

Then just when Louise had thought that they might really be just chatting with each other happily with no real intentions of flirting, Siesta reached her hand out and touched Saito lightly on his forearm, her head cocked to one side cutely, her face an expression of rapt attention to whatever Saito was saying. It was done so innocently, so inconspicuously, that anyone else watching would thought that it was just a natural reaction to what Saito had said. But Louise knew better. She saw the hidden intent that the maid has, she saw through her, her tactics, her ploy, her fake saccharine sweet smile.

The last straw came when Siesta, after listening to Saito's joke, laughed cheerily and proceeded to place both her hands on his shoulders and then hugging him while laughing in mirth when Saito said something again. Apparently stunned at first due to Siesta's display of affection but quickly recovering, Saito hugged her back good naturedly.

Louise bit back the urge to drag the two away from each other. If she did this now, she would seem like a third party, like she was the one who broke Saito and Siesta up. But yet she could not bring herself to look on as the scene unfolds itself. Saito and the maid were just... just too close together, she couldn't stand it.

Bubbling anger that rose up quickly in her swiftly went away as fast as it first rose. In its place was a mixture of sadness... and hurt.

Turning her head around, Louise walked away swiftly, her footsteps gaining in speed as each second went past. But despite the growing distance between her and the place where Saito and the maid are at, why is it that she still could see them smiling at each other? Why is it that their happy laughter together seemed to ring on and on in her ears? And why is it that the scene of them hugging each other so intimately could never go away from her mind even when she wanted it to?

Why is it that she and Saito couldn't be like how he is with Siesta? When he's with Siesta, he's evidently more relaxed, he could laugh freely, joke with her freely, hug her freely. But when he's with herself, he seemed to be on edge, as though he was scared of saying the wrong things, as though he was afraid of her wrath, afraid of... her.

Louise knew that she was not as ladylike as Siesta. Should they were put side by side together in the fine clothes of nobles, most people, heck, all people would assume that Siesta is the more refined of the two nobles. They might even think that Louise is the imposter, what with her unrefined and unladylike gestures and attitudes. With the way she was always letting herself get into a fit of anger easily, and with the way she kept chasing Saito around and beating him up, it would be a miracle should someone even want to marry her. And it was a no wonder that Saito would prefer the busty maid over her, his flat-chested master, as he once said of her before.

Unbidden tears came even when she willed herself to hold them in. A few escaped and seeing the horses' stable, she quickly rushed in one of the cubicles and hid herself among the hay. It was fortunate that the students would only have use of the horses next week, during their special training on horseback. She could not afford to let a single soul see her like this, not when she was in such a state. To think that she, Louise Francois de la Valliarre, a lady of high noble birth, would be hiding out among the hay of a horse's stable and crying her heart out, all because of a commoner and a maid. What did she ever do to deserve this?

She thought that his declaration of love for her is real. She thought that the serious expression he had when he said those unforgettable words had been for real, that he had been most sincere, that he had really meant that he loved her, very much. But now her faith in him was wavering traitorously.

She knew that she was actingout of jealousy, that her heart was hurting all due to her one sided jealousy. The rational part of her mind had been whispering to her that it was not what she thought, that they were not flirting, that they were just having fun with each other innocently. Yet because of this possibility that she had misunderstood Saito, because of the fact that she had taken to anger so quickly and thus her love for him might not be as strong as she had thought it to be, she hated herself more. She hated herself for imagining things, she hated herself for thinking herself to be inferior to a mere maid, she hated herself for doubting Saito's words and lastly, she hated herself for even falling in love with such a lecherous man.

How many times had she seen scenes similar to the one she saw just now? Everywhere they went, Saito would always find other girls to be beautiful, attractive and desirable. His eyes would always see the girl beside her, other than herself and his eyes would always sparkle due to them, not for her, never for her.

Oh how she longed for him to look at her the way he looked at all those busty, attractive women! But deep down inside, she knew that it was impossible, for she possessed none of those impressive curves of the mature and beautiful ladies and none of that easy grace they carry themselves with. For someone with zero feminine charm, it was impossible. Impossible for her to hold a candle to all the other girls. Impossible for her to capture Saito's heart. Impossible for her to hold Saito's interest for long.

Yes, the truth hurts. Saito, being her familiar, would always be bounded to her due to an agelong tradition of Void mages and their gandalfds. So in short, he would be bounded to her whether he liked it or not. Louise realised that though she loved him, loved him so much that it hurt to see him with other girls, she had to set him free. Free to pursue any other girl that he desired so, free to do whatever he wanted without having to suffer her wrath, free to live his own life apart from her.

Yes, it hurt her, the thing that she was about to set out to do. She was going to give Saito his freedom back despite the aching pain in her heart. It was true that Gandalfds were needed to buy their masters time so as to let them recital the long spells for Void magic. But this only applied when the Gandalfds actually felt it necessary to do so due to their utmost loyalty to their Masters. For Louise's case, Saito was probably only doing it out of gratitude for her, not due to loyalty and definitely not due to love.

There, having her decision made, Louise stood up and cleared away the haysticks that stubbornly clinged onto her clothes. With a tinge of dismay, Louise realised that she smelled, of horses and hay. Great, just when she thought she had some bit of dignity in her left. Kami-sama must really hate her.

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Author's Note: This story is going to be a tri-shot. But for this chapter I don't know if it's long winded or not, especially the part where Louise is contemplating things on her own. I wanted to write her feelings as explicitly as I could since I was tired of the angry responses the anime always give her. I wanted her to feel hurt and sadness other than burning anger each time. Tell me if this rests well with you by reviewing! I would appreciate it very much if you could! So, review and tell me what you think!