Moonlight Kissed

Author: Takaya
Email: takaya_17@hotmail.com
Characters: Aragorn/Frodo, Frodo/Haldir
Rating: R
Summary: Frodo gets lost in the woods of Lothlorien, Haldir finds him and they talk, while Aragorn is listing to them. I know this summary sucks ;)
Feedback: Always welcome
Archive: Just let me know where, okay??
Disclaimer: I don't own them; don't make any money with it.
Note: This is my first try of a LOTR FanFic, please be gentle. Many thanks to Kithara for giving me this bunny, which hunted me for weeks. And many thanks to Mia for beta-reading.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You shouldn't wander around here," Frodo heard a voice, he shook his head slightly coming back to reality. He had walked around for some time, trying to clear his mind. He turned around and saw Haldir coming to him, one of the guardians from this wood and Frodo wasn't sure what to think of him.

"Sorry. I know I'm not allowed to walk on my own," Frodo answered.

"No, I didn't mean it in that way. The night is dark, you could easily get lost or hurt," Haldir answered.

"Aragorn said that the border of this wood are well guarded and that we're safe here," Frodo answered.

"There aren't any danger from Orcs or so, but walking at night in an unknown forest can be dangerously in itself."

"Oh," Frodo was a bit surprised by the Elf's concern. Frodo took a look around. He wasn't sure which way he had come from. The rest of the fellowship had wanted to rest early, particularly the other Hobbits, but he couldn't find sleep. His mind was racing, images hunting him. He had thought a short walk would help him and tire him enough that he could sleep.

"Do you want me to bring you back to your friends?" Haldir asked.

"No, I know my way, thank you," Frodo told him and he left Haldir, trying to think which way he had come, but he hadn't paid any attention.

"Frodo, this isn't the way back," Haldir said from behind him.

"I know," Frodo lied. "I just don't want to go back right, not yet."

"Then maybe I should walk with you."

"That's not necessary," Frodo told him. The last thing he wanted right now was the company of an Elf. "You probably have more important things to do than to bring my to the camp."

"I think you're lost," Haldir told him with a small smile in his face.

Frodo looked at him surprised. How could he know?

"No, I know my way, believe me." Haldir agreed with Aragorn now, when he told him that this Hobbit could be stubborn.

"I was following you nearly all the time, you didn't pay attention where you walking and this wood is not familiar to you." Frodo felt his face turning slightly red.

"I..."

"Don't worry, I won't bother you, we can walk in silence but if you want to talk, I will listen."

"Why ... why should I talk to you?" Frodo asked. He wasn't fond of this idea, neither walking with him silent nor talking.

Haldir had a long talk with Aragorn earlier in the day and he had found out many things about the Hobbits, especially about this one.

"Because you don't want to talk to the others, you think they won't understand, you don't want to bother them with your burden. But I think that they would be happy to help you, they're your friends," Haldir let him know.

"How...?" Frodo tried to asked something, but wasn't sure what exactly.

"How do I know this? You can call it Age, if you want. I have been watching you the last days and I have been watching your friends. All of you Hobbits carry their emotions on the face and I could see emotions in Aragorn and Legolas face, when they watched you. They all care for you. They would take any pain for you if they could. They promised to protect you in every way they can. They're hurt that you don't trust them. Aragorn tried several times to talk to you, so did Sam and the others, but you told them, that you're all right, but they know that you're lying." Haldir paused, letting Frodo think over these words.

Frodo knew that they were true, Aragorn tried several times to get him to talk, but usually Frodo ended it shortly with telling him, that he felt fine, that he grieved about the loss of Gandalf, but everything else was all right.

But deep in his heart he knew that nothing was all right, he felt lost, lonely. He wanted to be home again in the Shire with Bilbo. He missed the older hobbit the most, he was his only true friend. Someone he could tell everything, he could cry at his shoulder if he needed to, without getting questioned. But now he was alone, he had nobody to turn to, nobody who would listen willingly. During the nights in Moria Gandalf was there for him, when he felt insecure, when he felt frightened, when he felt eyes staring at him. He knew Gandalf from the day he moved into Bag End and he loved him nearly as deeply as Bilbo. The wizard told him stories from the Elves till he fell asleep in his arms. But now he was gone. Frodo took a calming breath, he felt the tears stinging in his eyes, but the last thing would he wanted was to cry in front of the Elf.

Haldir knelt in front of Frodo, laying a hand on his shoulders, looking directly into his eyes. He could read the Hobbits confusion and fear in them.

"I ... I never wanted to hurt anybody. I ... I miss Gandalf and my Shire," Frodo mumbled.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of, my little friend. And there is no shame in crying, Frodo," Haldir could see the tears pooling in the Hobbit's eyes. Frodo took a step in Haldir's direction and put his arms around the Elf, crying. The Elf was surprised but he held the Hobbit, rubbing his back lightly, talking quietly in Elvish to him.

Frodo felt ashamed crying like this, but he was beyond caring. He felt safe and secure. He tried to be strong in front of the others, he tried to suppress nearly all of his emotions, but now everything was too much.

"Sorry," Frodo murmured when he pulled away from Haldir. "I mussed up your tunic and hair." Without thinking Frodo let his hand ran trough Haldir's hair and over the tunic where he had cried. The Elf's hairs felt soft under his hands, like pure silk.

"It will dry. Do you feel any better now?" he asked.

Frodo nodded, his heart felt lighter than in the last days.

"Do you want to walk with me, and perhaps talk with me?" Haldir asked.

Frodo nodded again, not trusting his voice. He wiped the tears from his face and smiled at the Elf.

"I would be glad, if you would walk with me for a bit," Frodo said.

The Elf rose to his feet, laying a hand on Frodo's back showing him the way. They walked in silence, but this time Frodo enjoyed it, it was not depressing. They walked slowly enjoying the clear night air and listen to the sounds of the night, an owl here, a chirping insect there.

From time to time, Haldir gazed at Frodo, at his delicate pointed ears, at his dark curly hair and his smooth marble skin. Thinking that it could have been the one of Elves.

Frodo stopped abruptly, when they reached a clearing. A pool was the center of it, circle by stone different sizes. In the middle was a small island, with a single tree. Beyond the pool was a small waterfall feeding it with fresh water.

"It's beautiful," Frodo said, stunned.

"It's even more beautiful in daylight," Haldir said, gazing over the pool.

"The water looks like it would be made of jewels," Frodo said. The moonshine let the surface sparkle like a sea of diamonds.

"This is one of my favorite place, when I want to be alone," Haldir said, leading Frodo to the pool. "Let us rest here for a while," and he sat down on a rock. Frodo wandered to the rim of the pool, touching the water.

"It's warm."

"I enjoy bathing and swimming here, the water is clean and warm. You can swim if you want to," Haldir suggested.

"I can't swim," Frodo said.

"The water is not deep, maybe a bit over your chest, if you stay beneath the island."

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"Why? The air is warm, the water is fresh and it may help you to relax and to get tire."

"Hobbits are not very fond of water, most of us can't swim," let Frodo Haldir know.

"I am not sure I can imagine what it would be like to be afraid of water. For me being in the water is wonderful, I feel free and weightless, I can let my body and mind drift."

"My parents drowned in the river," Frodo said.

"I'm sorry. If I had know this, I wouldn't have you brought here."

"Don't be sorry, it is beautiful here." Frodo sighed.

"That's why you grew up at your uncles household?" Haldir asked.

"Yes. How do you know about Bilbo?" Frodo asked.

"I talked to Aragorn today. I was curious to learn more about you Hobbits and he mentioned that you grew up at your uncle's house. And I believe I heard a few stories from other Elves telling us about a Hobbit who loved going on adventure."

"Bilbo is different from most hobbits, most of us have never been out of the Shire, we don't like adventure. The others sometimes looked strangely at my uncle because he loved adventure. I..."

"What, Frodo?"

"I miss him and I have a feeling I will never see him. I fear that I will never see the Shire again."

"Frodo, don't think this way. I don't know what lies in front of us, but I believe that if somebody can do this, it is you. And you will see, one day you will be back in the Shire, have a wife and children. Do you have a lass waiting for you?"

"No," Frodo said. "There is nobody waiting for me."

"There is always somebody waiting."

"No, not for me. I never had many friends and the friends I have are here with me on this quest. I'm alone."

"No, you're never alone."

Scenes from earlier this day came back to his mind. Sam and Frodo had wandered around talking about the Shire. Sam started to talk about Rosie, wondering what she maybe doing at the moment. These moments made Sam happy, Frodo could see the sparkles in his eyes, but in these moments Frodo felt alone, knowing that nobody would be waiting for him. And then he saw Aragorn later. The Ranger held the pendant that Arwen gave him in his hand, his fingers caressing it carefully. A sadness filled Frodo's mind and heart.

"Frodo?" Haldir gently asked. Frodo's thoughts came back and he looked at Haldir.

"Sam has Rosie waiting for him, Merry and Pippin have each other, Aragorn has Arwen waiting," Frodo explained.

"Somebody like you will easily find a girl."

"I'm not interested..." Frodo stopped. Why did he just say that, nobody knew and nobody should ever know about this. Not even his beloved Bilbo knew it.

"You're not interested in girls," Haldir finished. "Then you will find a lad."

Frodo looked at him amazed, did he really just say that. The Elf didn't looked disgust by this. Frodo didn't understand in the Shire everybody would have looked at him and talked about him and Haldir said it as if it could happen every day.

"This doesn't ... In the Shire..." Frodo didn't know what to say.

While Frodo thought what he should say, many things became clear to Haldir. How could he misinterpreted the signs, this certain look on the Hobbit's face every time he saw him, his tries to get his attention and to please him.

"This kind of relationship is not welcome among Hobbits," Frodo finally said.

"It doesn't happen very often among us Elves, but we see it as something natural," Haldir explained, but he couldn't suppress a smile.

"But you're laughing at me," Frodo said to him, anger rising in his chest.

"I don't laugh at you, I laugh about myself, how stupid of me, that I misinterpreted it."

"What?" Frodo questioned harsh.

"Like I said I watched you, but I thought you just admired him, because of what he is, but I believe now that there is a little bit more behind it."

"I don't know what you're talking about?" Frodo said.

"You know. You often lie in your bedroll facing him, looking at him, when he changes clothes, when he washes himself. I think you're in love with Aragorn," Haldir said, pleased.

"No I'm not." Frodo said, knowing that the Elf wouldn't believe him.

"You followed him to the pool today when he took a bath, you looked at him for a while, before you disappeared into the wood."

Frodo wished that the earth would open and swallow him, he felt the heat in his face and he knew that he his face was red. All he wanted to do was run away, but he knew that the Elf was faster then he. Maybe he should jump into the pool and drown, but Haldir could swim.

Haldir couldn't help and laughed loudly.

"Sorry Frodo, I didn't mean to embarrass you. And you can trust me, your secret is safe with me, but you should talk to him," Haldir suggested.

"There is nothing to talk about. Aragorn loves Arwen."

"But don't you think his heart is big enough to love you both?"

Frodo shook his head, sometimes at night he dreamed about how it would be with Aragorn and Arwen and him, but never had this dream a satisfying ending. It always ended with him being in a small dark chamber, while Arwen and Aragorn played with their baby child in the other room.

"I don't want to come between him and Arwen, they look so happy together. I just would be in their way," Frodo said, sadness in his voice.

"I should learn to cover my emotions better or somebody else will found out." Frodo said to himself loud.

"I would say it is a little bit late for this."

"Do you mean the others know it?" Frodo asked, surprise showing in his eyes.

"Maybe, I believe that at least Legolas knows it, because he tried to keep me from following you today." Frodo swallowed hard. "But Legolas, he will not tell anyone. But Aragorn is a Ranger, his senses are well trained, he knows when somebody is watching or following him. My feeling tells me that he already knows this." Frodo swallowed again.

"I doubt I can ever look at him again."

"Don't worry, but you should take my advice and talk to him."

"I will," Frodo promised. But he had a feeling that he never would speak with Aragorn about this. Why should he bother him with this? Talking wouldn't help, maybe Aragorn would feel sorry for him and would lay with him. But this wasn't what Frodo wanted, he wanted to be loved from Aragorn. He just would stop watching and following the Ranger around. And hoping that everybody would forget it. But maybe the Elf was right and talking to Aragorn would help him. He was confused.

"I think it would be a good time to go back, you need rest to gather your strength. You didn't sleep much in the last days." Haldir interrupted his thoughts.

"Not yet. I cannot sleep anyway and I don't want to sleep." There was so much to think about and Frodo didn't know where to start. Should he talk to Aragorn or not? He just couldn't believe that he talked with Haldir about all this. Usually he was quiet, trying to hide his feelings, his pains, everything. But all this talking felt good, his mind and heart seemed somehow relieved from his greatest worry. But how should he look at Aragorn now, he felt angry with himself. Why had he let it show?

"Maybe I can help you, if you let me." Frodo looked at him puzzled, wondering what the Elf had in mind. "But maybe it would be better if we would lie down on the grass." Haldir said. Frodo could see a sparkling in his eyes, which made him more and more curious.

Frodo nodded.