Pyramid Scheme: The Invisible Man Meets the Mummy People
Fandom: Invisible Man, (2000)
Status: Complete
Author: Betsy Manning (aka AnitaLife, because honest to god, I really need a life!)
E-me: betsybird27@hotmail.com Feedback: Sure.
Disclaimers: This bit of nonsense is meant as a tribute. It is not meant as an infringement on the rights of the owners/creators of The Invisible Man which is the property of Stu Segall Productions or USA Cable Entertainment.
Rating: PG. Some language. Some angst. Some humor. Hopefully in the spirit of the canon of the show.
Archive: Please let me know where so I can get you the most recent version.
Spoilers: None that I'm aware of.
Synopsis: Darien's best friend is gone and his only hope is his worst fear!
Hobbes has disappeared and Fawkes can't get straight answer from the Agency. When The Official introduces him to a shiny new partner, Fawkes loses it and starts to take things into his own hands. Can Fawkes find his partner and can the two ever be reunited? What of the strange pyramid cult? And, just what kind of wicked and frightening substitute for counter agent is this anyway! Some twists and turns in this one, folks. I'm not saying anything else.
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Pyramid Scheme The Invisible Man Meets the Mummy People
"Don't it always seem to go That you don't know what you've got till it's gone."
That's what the great Joni Mitchell sang in her mellifluous tones and dozens of folks said the same thing before her.
I never knew how much I took Hobbes for granted. But, of course, now I sure do.
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Darien watched the gushing rain drench the street and wash over his window. He sat folded up, his arms wrapped around his legs as he stared out the window. He felt weak and wrung out as if some one had run him through an old style washing machine. Uncried tears welled up in his eyes, but did not fall with the rain.
Hobbes was gone and Darien was becoming more and more despondent.
It's not just that Hobbes was out for the day. For the week. Or the month? He'd been gone for at least three weeks, just like that, without a "good bye" or even a hardy hi-ho "good riddance".
He hadn't just gone for pizza or taken a stroll. He wasn't off sight-seeing at the Taj Mahal in Agra or the Pyramids at Giza. At least, Darien didn't think he was. The truth was, he just didn't know. He didn't even know if he were alive or dead.
Darien could not get a straight answer from the Official. Eberts was useless, clutching to his party line the way he clutched his manila folders. Claire was just as cagey as the other two.
Why were they doing this? It felt like they were staging a conspiracy against one. He couldn't tell if Bobby was on assignment. Could it be Agency business? Had he been reassigned? Had he resigned? Did he have a nervous breakdown? Did he do something wrong, cross the Official and get his ass kicked to Timbuktu?
Darien could deal with that. It was the cruelty of not knowing that was tearing him to pieces. The fierceness of emotions that wracked his chest and stomach was compounded with the utter hopelessness that now enveloped him.
Would Hobbes ever come back? Could he come back?
All Darien knew was absolutely nothing. And, all he felt was déjà vu all over again. No matter how hard he tried to shake the sinking depression, he could not escape this sense of abandonment. He was alone in the world again. So what else was new?
He realized now that before Hobbes had disappeared he had allowed himself to be lulled into a state of false security and contentment. It was Hobbesy and Fawkesy all the way. Best buds and even surrogate brothers. For some reason Darien took Hobbes' vow that he never "bailed" on his partner as gospel truth. He accepted whole heartedly that Bobby would always be there for him and he accepted it on faith alone. He really believed Hobbes. He really WANTED to believe him with all his heart and soul.
"I'm an idiot" he told himself. "Everyone always 'bails' on Darien Fawkes in the long run." He thought, Hobbes' style as he watched the rain smother the world.
Nothing in Darien's personal history had ever led him to blindly accept that Hobbes would really stand by him, even with Hobbes' vow as the carrot to that acceptance. Perhaps he suffered some sort of false hope or inexplicable optimism that allowed him to espouse the conviction that for once he wasn't going to be left behind. Perhaps he just wanted the feeling that at last he'd found a home.
"Way to hoax yourself, Fawkesy" he muttered.
Darien found a million ways to heap blame upon himself. He went over every moment before the Monday when Hobbes did not report to work. They'd been spitting and spatting a little more than usual and the familiar joviality of their banter had worn thin. Did Hobbes take their bickering to heart? Was the tension between them in the preceding weeks really more than the older agent could bear? Did he actually get on Hobbes' nerves enough to cause him to vanish from the face of Darien's personal planet?
Darien didn't remember exactly what the argument was about. It was that trivial. But it involved a dispute over who took point on some aspects of the previous mission. Hobbes could be such a control freak, micromanaging and criticizing every move that Darien made.
He remembered the crescendo of the argument. They'd been bickering back and forth all morning, thrust and parry, but then they had to report to a meeting with the Official. As the pair entered the office, they were still spatting. Now their fight had been elevated to pouting, each going to their respective corners like prize fighters between bouts.
"I'm sorry, sir" offered Hobbes with familiar sarcastic gravel in his voice as he took his seat. "Fawkesy here is havin' a bad hair day."
"What? Did you two have a lovers quarrel?" was the Official's contemptuous comment.
"Yeah, we did." responded Fawkes with equal rancor, now including the Official in the line of fire. "It's just that Hobbes always insists on being on top every time."
"Sonnofabitch! That's it!" Hobbes lost it. Engulfed in red heat he leaped toward Darien. In a flash, he brought his right fist up to unite like a lightening strike with Darien's jaw. Darien could have Quicksilvered and dodged him but he was so angry he'd actually forgotten his powers and stood his ground. His chest was thrust out in defiance of Hobbes' rage, his own fist going back for the return blow.
The Official had responded with equal speed and stood between the battling pair, grasping them by their arms and holding them at bay. He hadn't always been a desk jockey. The older man's early days as an action man had been revealed.
"Sit down, gentlemen!" he roared. The two men plopped in their respective chairs.
"Have you forgotten where you are? When you're in these offices I expect some veneer of professional deportment!
"Now, I'll thank you both to refrain from mutual annihilation. After this mission you can tear each other to shreds for all I care, but until then, you both have jobs to do!
"Eberts!"
"If Buzz and Woody are finished with their song and dance." Eberts said, joining the joust.
"Eberts, shut up! Hand these idiots their files." the Official huffed as they all sucked it in and tried to get through the briefing.
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Darien went over that whole incident a few times just to really torture himself. After their row, they'd made up, he thought. God, they had even hugged! There were lots of apologies delivered with embarrassment, each taking the blame for everything said and done, even if it hadn't been their fault.
Could that have been "it"? Would that series of arguments have precipitated Hobbes' leaving this way?
"Was it all my fault?" Darien asked himself pathetically. "Did I drive him away?"
The days since Hobbes' had vanished were filled with emotional clouds and rain. Everything was strange and tense. Life didn't seem worth living.
The Official and Eberts continued their silent stoic acts, always responding with comments about "need to know" and some other bull. Fawkes was assigned some minor investigations, which he performed like a sleep walker. He had to case a few locations. Plant some spy devices. Busy work, really. Invisibility made it easier, but any Agent Joe Blow in any Joe Blow Agency could have performed these tasks.
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Beauregard Valentine-Super Agent
The Official issued his summons for Fawkes for a Monday morning briefing. Oh joy.
Darien had this crazy hope that Hobbes would be at the office, complete with an elaborate and entertaining explanation of his recent disappearance. They'd laugh together about Hobbes' latest escapade, chat and party over beer and nachos. But it was not so. There was still no sign of Hobbes.
Darien looked even more crumpled than ever as he dragged himself to work. His hair was not fussed with at all and for that matter was barely washed. His unlaundered shirt and pants completed his unkempt ensemble. Framing his bloodshot eyes were dark circles from endless sleepless nights of worry about Hobbes.
He vaulted to the Official's office. This would be the last time he would ask. If the Fat Man was not forthcoming, Darien would take things into his own hands.
As he entered the office he noticed that in addition to the kingly Official and his serfly shadow Eberts, there was a smartly dressed and pressed looking fellow.
What a specimen!
He was the very picture of James Bond, but with a squeaky cleanness. His perfectly proportioned and chiseled features would turn the head of any lady and quite a few gents. He was attired perfectly. His Saville Road tailored suit fit perfectly over his Steve Reeves physique. His shock of thick, deep brown hair was perfectly coifed. Handsome and then some, his manor was rakish, but not smarmy. Trustworthy. Loyal. Helpful. Friendly. Courteous. Kind. Obedient. Cheerful. Thrifty. Brave. Clean. Reverent. In short, loathsome in every way. At first glance Darien hated him and what he represented.
"Good morning Agent Fawkes!" the Official beamed. "This is Agent Beauregard Valentine. He'll be working with you."
"Hello, Agent Fawkes! Please, call me Beau." the spotless man chirped extending his hand in warm greeting. "I'm really looking forward to joining this project. The Official has told me so many good things about you."
Darien gave a grim scoff as she shook his head. He cast an icy glare at the Official and refrained from accepting Valentine's offered hand.
"So, that's it, is it? Just bring in a new guy."
"Fawkes," the Official made entreaty, "it's time to move on."
"I don't think so. I think you're gonna tell me where Hobbes is."
"That is a closed subject. That is all you need to know."
Something snapped.
Darien watched himself as if he were having an out of body experience. He saw himself clambering atop the Official's desk, his dirty red Converse high tops sending files and paper clips cascading to the floor.
"Need to know. I'm pretty damn sick of hearing about 'need to know'. I'll tell you something about needing to know. I NEED TO KNOW WHERE HOBBES IS." His voice was cracking with grief and anger.
"I'm not doing anything else for you until I know what's going on with Hobbes!" he scolded from his new perch. When you give me a straight answer, I might work for you again, but until then, nothin' doing. Do you get me?"
"Fawkes, this is gross insubordination! I won't have it! Get the hell off my desk!" the Official growled taken aback by this new affront to his authority. And, in front of the new man!
"Oh, so sorry SIR" Darien gave a mock salute. "Silly me. I forget some times that I'm a pawn in your little game, and that my needs and feelings don't count for crap.
"It never occurred to you that I would NOTICE if Hobbes did his own disappearing act? What! Did you think I'd just skip around like a big happy hoppy floppy bunny? 'Oh, and this is your new and improved partner' 'Oh really, 'Fish? Cool!' And when I get to know and depend on this one, will he vanish without a word too? Sounds good to me! Let me pencil you in, buddy" he addressed Valentine at last, "and we'll do lunch! Nice suit, by the way, guy! Not my style, but it looks good on you."
"Fawkes, I will slam you into a padded cell so fast."
"Yeah, well, you tried that ploy before! Go for it. I've got nothing to lose right now!"
"Fawkes, I'll have your hide!
"You can have my Jekyll and my Hyde!"
With that he began to spill Quicksilver over his body and did not stop with that. The silvery liquid burst forth like a fountain over the desk, the floor and even to the recoiling Official and Eberts. Eberts watched in abject horror as his legs seemed to dematerialize before his eyes. Part of the wall was disappearing which created a gaping hole that over looked the street. Valentine was astonished, but stood in Action Figure Position One. An invisible desk lamp catapulted past his head and he dodged its mass with practiced Kung Fu motion guided only by his hearing. The Official was soundly thumped in the chest with a see-through phone which then shattered on the floor. Eberts covered his face with folders and instinctively used his clipboard as a shield to avoid being slashed with the contents of an unseen pencil cup that had been heaved in his direction.
But such a profusion of Quicksilver and emotion soon took its toll on Darien's body. He doubled over in agony. Lake Quicksilver evaporated around him into its own nothingness.
The reveal found him in a fetal position writhing from the pain that wracked his skull. The Ouroboros on his wrist was almost completely red. He was close, but no cigar. The pain stopped him from the planned murderous rampage, but he hoped at least that he'd made his point.
"Fawkes, go to the Keep, son." was the Official's simple quiet instruction, an almost compassionate response. Eberts was frankly surprised by the Official's reaction. Not only was Darien's behavior gross insubordination, it was flagrant misuse of government resources.
"I'll be happy to help you get there" attempted Valentine.
Darien spurned the offer and slapped the man's good intentioned hand away. As he climbed gingerly off the desk waves of pain throbbed through his body. His knees almost buckled but he continued to reject their offers of help. Only the Official had the wisdom to allow Darien to manage on his own.
He regained enough control to stalk out of the office slamming the door as hard as he possibly could, just to punctuate the entire event.
"Sir, would you like me to draw up forms for disciplinary action?" Eberts began.
"Leave it, Eberts. Apprise Claire of the situation." but he realized that the phone was destroyed, lying in jagged pieces at his feet.
"Use your cel phone.
"I'm truly sorry, Valentine. I'd like you stay around. I think I'm going to need your services."
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The Purple Nemesis-A New Best Friend
Darien slowly made his way to the Keep and arrived to meet his waiting Keeper. Her arms were folded across her chest, and she was tapping her foot ever so slightly.
"Do you want to talk about it, Darien?" Claire asked as she went to prepare an injection of Counter Agent.
"I've been trying to talk about it with you, for three weeks, Claire. You had your chance. Give me a shot." he said has he plopped into his chair.
"You know." she began, about to respond in anger. She thought better of it. When injecting the blue liquid, she did find herself jabbing Darien's arm with some roughness and pulled back the rubber tubing with a sharp snap, leaving a sting where it hit Darien's arm.
"Are you going to help me?" he implored.
"I am helping you, mate." she said as she swabbed his arm with alcohol.
"Is that what stony silence is called these days?"
She went to a grey metal shelving unit against a brick wall and pulled out a small animal carrier, complete with a clear plastic side and sparse habitat of a few twigs. Darien practically leaped up when he realized what the cage contained. Inside it he could discern one of his lifelong enemies. Waves of cold and heat tingled over his body.
The plastic cage held a tiny spindly eight-legged monster. A few doomed crickets lined the bottom of the cage. Darien viewed with horror the larder consisting of several entombed insect bodies. Unable to look away, he witnessed the execution and undertaking of the current prey that the spider was encasing with silk. Against all hope the hapless victim struggled weakly as the venom overcame it. Darien knew how it felt.
His heart raced at the sight, and he stood behind his brown chair, using it as a weak shield between himself and Claire and her new charge.
"This little fellow, Darien, is your new best friend."
He eyed her with disbelief as his palms dampened and his throat seized.
"That's great Claire. I must have missed that memo. Can you put my new best friend away, so I don't have to look at him!" his voice cracked.
"I know arachnology is not your strong suit, so let me explain before you leave your own skin.
"It's called the Purple Nemesis, Nemesis laticlavius. Note the strong purple stripe that gives it its distinctive look and name. Very beautiful, really. It's fairly common. It likes to hide in dark places, attics and basements like the Brown Recluse Spider Loxosceles recluse its closest cousin. Only this little fellow is infinitely more deadly than its family member. Its venom is extremely poisonous, acting as a neural disrupter, often causing unbearable pain, paralysis and eventually death."
Darien continued to cringe away the blood thumping through his chest.
"Claire, put the spider down!" Darien was shaking now.
She ignored him and went on.
"What I did find fascinating, and this is the really good bit, is that its venom is also almost chemically identical to Counter Agent."
Darien halted, catching his breath.
"Ah, there now, I thought that would get your attention, mate."
"Oh, you have had my attention.
"So, it spits Counter Agent. And, I don't want to be in the same solar system with that thing! Where does that leave us?"
"Darien, I know you're a lot smarter than you look. You figure it out."
"Why do I think I'm not going to like this at all?"
"Because, I'm afraid, you won't like this at all.
"You see, here's the really unfortunate hitch. Unlike most spiders or snakes, the Purple Nemesis' venom can not be extracted in the normal manner. It loses its viability instantly, once it's been milked. It must be injected by direct contact only."
"I really don't like this at all!"
"No. I don't think you're not going to enjoy getting Purple Nemesis spider bites as part of our next series of tests."
Darien's face had gone stark white.
"There isn't enough sedative in the western hemisphere. I can't believe you'd even suggest this! Especially now!
"You can knock me out for these tests, can't you?" he implored.
"I'm sorry Darien. The addition of any other chemical to your system would skew the test results.
"Darien, if there were any other way, don't you think I would pursue it? This finding could significantly reduce the costs and dependence on our present Counter Agent. This could spell a breakthrough of leaps and bounds."
"Yeah, well, for right now, I'm leaping and bounding out of here!" He quickly walked to the door. He'd had enough for today!
"Darien!" she called. "Arohhh!" she groaned in frustration.
Valentine chose that moment to make his appearance at the door to the Keep. He began to try to speak to Darien, but the lanky man had brushed by him, but paused long enough to say:
"Lay a hand on her, golden boy, and I'll personally take you out! You won't see it coming!" Darien threatened, feeling a sudden rush of brotherly protectiveness toward Claire.
Valentine made no further attempt to speak to him or stop him. Bemused, he put his hands up in resignation.
Darien was gone.
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The Search for Bobby Hobbes
Infiltrate, Investigate and Disrupt
That evening found Darien back at the office but not as an employee. Tonight he was there in his capacity as a master thief. Or maybe just a regular thief, but be that as it may, he was there to find a lead on Hobbes' whereabouts and take enough Counter Agent to go on a quest: The Search for Bobby Hobbes. If only he could find some leads on where his partner had gone. Without a heading this whole escapade would be worthless, so it was with a great deal of glee that he found exactly the file he was looking for without much ado.
"Eberts, you little weasel!" he thought. "You made this so easy to find. God bless your organizational abilities! I'll kill you last!"
As it turns out, Hobbes had been assigned to "infiltrate, investigate and disrupt operations" at a new age mummification and resurrection cult known as MummerSum. There was also the small matter of a rescue of a Senator's daughter who'd joined the cult; a Senator with prospects to be the next in the White House. It looked like he could actually make it, if he did not suffer the public embarrassment of having a wacko for a kid.
Fawkes was relieved to have this information, but something was not right. The paper trail to MummerSum ended 10 days back, when the Agency stopped getting reports from Hobbes. That did not bode well. Hobbes could be in trouble!
The mission was a typical Cult Infiltration, Retrieval and Deprogramming assignment. Why hadn't Darien been in on this? He could help! Or at the very least, why not let him know that Hobbes was on assignment! He would not have been driven to distraction by the agony of not knowing his partner's state of being. Not only had he been suffering from major abandonment issues, he'd been worried sick!
Evidently, MummerSum was believed to be another wacky Chrysalis front, but this one had a twist. With Chrysalis behind a charismatic cult leader, they could have all the free labor at their disposal that their greedy devious little minds could think to use. All they would need to do was tell the brainwashed followers that their work was in service of the great god du jour, Am Wai.
The charismatic cult leader was styled as Tak Ray. Rhymes with Am Wai. He established MummerSum in 1989 after his used car dealership went belly up. His real name was Gerald Heathcliff Pinkerton of Pinkerton Motors.
"Eek! I'd change my name too!" Darien thought.
"Hello, Fawkes. Find what you need?"
Darien jumped as the man's voice boomed like a radio announcer's.
It was Valentine's day at night. Damn! Was he putting in a few late night hours, trying to impress his new boss?
"Yo, Beau! What d'ya know? And, what the hell do you care?" Darien was unsure where he stood. Was there about to be a tussle?
"Hey, it's cool." Valentine responded. "I wouldn't dream of hindering your efforts.
"That was a pretty scene you pulled in the office today. I've never seen an invisibility display of that extent. When I was in Tibet I found the practice of mental levitation quite interesting. But, you! You're performance was most impressive."
"Well, yeah, I can never resist putting on a show. I'm just a born actor!"
"I bet! I've read your file with great interest. You're quite the loose cannon! But, then that's what makes life interesting."
"Are you going to get out of my way?"
"Oh, by the way, Claire and I shared a lovely dinner. She's quite a lady! Very passionate. About her work, of course."
"Are you just trying to piss me off?"
"Of course. I can't resist a guy with a short wick."
Darien decided that Valentine just wasn't worth his time. He knew where Hobbes had been ensconced. Now he just had to get the Counter Agent and get on the road.
He simply vanished and made his way to the Keep to retrieve the blue liquid that would extend the time he could spend away from the Agency. Valentine made no move to stop him.
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A Kept Man
As Darien reached the Keep he saw a familiar sight: that gorgeous woman in a lab coat.
"Hello, Darien. Putting in a little over time, I see."
Claire! Good grief! Now they just needed the Official and Eberts and they could order the complimentary Pu Pu Platter.
"Hello." he said sheepishly.
"Or are you moonlighting?"
She'd been putting Counter Agent and accoutrements in a handy dandy carry case.
"You know, if this gets back to Charlie, I'll be finished."
"I won't tell if you don't. But, your boyfriend is in the building. He stopped by just long enough to get a few digs in. You like that guy?"
"He's not my boyfriend and I hardly know him enough to like or dislike him. You on the other hand.I have formed a rather firm opinion about you through these many months of close association."
Darien put on his best puppy dog charming smile. "And, what would that opinion be?"
"Oh no! Don't even try that, mate!" she said, shaking her head and wagging a finger at him. "Didn't you get that I know you all too well?
"Look. I've turned off the surveillance. I haven't triggered any alarms and here's your Counter Agent, enough for three weeks. Does that answer your question?"
"Close enough." he started to choke up.
"This means a lot to me, Claire." he said softly with true sincerity. "Thank you."
"I hope you find him."
"I will."
"One warning. If anything happens to this Counter Agent, it'll be an inevitable date for you--with the Purple Nemesis. Do you understand?"
"Yes, ma'am." He gave her a sweet kiss of thanks on her cheek as he took the Counter Agent and disappeared.
"Hey, what about Agent Percival Perfect?" Darien said from his cloak of invisibility.
"Just go, Darien." she spoke into the air. "I'll worry about him. Good luck!"
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Pyramid Power
The MummerSum flagship pyramid structure slashed the Utah sky like a steely blade. Its sharpened angles were accentuated by a cloak of gun metal toned solar panels that clad its entire surface. Isolated, it glinted in the distance like a scar upon an otherwise perfect desert-scape. Heat waves at its base made its mass appear to float in the clouds.
Darien could imagine many a soft minded follower, predisposed to religious fervor, would be feeling the awe and mystery of it as they approached. The 11th hour was here, and that was the length of his exhausting overnight drive. He was feeling apprehension, concern and even excitement at the possibility of reuniting with Hobbes.
As he drew closer, Darien's rental car was flanked by the acres of vineyards that lined the road. He could see many MummerSum followers working amid the stands of grape vines. They looked happy. Their Egyptian- inspired clothing created an odd picture as they carried baskets of luscious purple fruit on their heads, laughing and singing the praises of Am Wai as they worked.
There was only one way to approach this problem. Darien parked his car in the ample lot, walked in the front door under a Quicksilver mantel.
There was a grand meeting in progress. Tak Ray was preaching the doctrine of love, hope and eternal life through mummification from a stage in a grand central court. The theatre was in the round, with dewy-eyed followers seated on all sides, making the stage the focal point of the room. The set up was similar to a fight arena but with the stage set up above the crowd. It served to elevate Tak Ray and his cronies, physically and psychologically.
As a con-man, Darien recognized Tak Ray's masterly style and technique. The trick to any scam was to sell people an alchemical mix of three things.
One: Offer commonly held truths, which resonate with all people. Two: Tell them a few lies that which they really want to hear. Promise them the fulfillment of the hopes that they have. Three: Interweave that which your own agenda into the truths and lies.
The first two make the third go down with ease. And, don't forget to make yourself the only path to the goals of truths and hope.
Once the mark is hooked you can operate. Works every time the way it's always worked with human beings since they proliferated upon the earth. A con man was a con man in any time or place whether he was pedaling a get rich scheme or a wacko religious belief system. The goal was always the same: profit through control over the victim.
Darien continued to scan the stage and who did he happen to see sitting regally up there with Tak Ray sporting full royal Egyptian garb? Why it was Super Agent Dudley Gorgeous himself. He was evidently Tak Ray's right hand man and was nodding and clapping on cue. He was therefore more than likely an operator for Chrysalis. Oh this should be good! Darien looked forward to rubbing the Official's nose in this hiring blunder!
It was then not a surprise then to see Arnaud de Ferhn also sharing the limelight with Jarod Stark in the MummerSum officer set. Didn't they look cute in those wigs? Darien had to stifle a laugh.
"Great!" thought Darien. "Old home week!"
Now it was the "sharing" portion of their service. A young woman stood up and gave her thoughts and feelings to her fellow followers.
Darien immediately recognized the Senator's daughter cooing effusively over what appeared to be a golden larger-than-life sized statue of a poodle. It was gaudy in crinkly gold leaf with rhinestone inlays. The detail of the signature poodle cuff on each leg reinforced the look of being one of the tackier prizes foisted upon giddy Wheel of Fortune winners.
From what Darien had gleaned from the Agency's file, he assumed the statue actually contained the mummified remains of the girl's former pet. It had been embalmed in an elaborate and lengthy process and then encased in a fiberglass sculpture. The type of finish was chosen as an option. Could have been black lacquer, but no. Miss Senator's Daughter went for the gold leaf. What lousy taste!
"I just want to tell you how happy I am with Tiffany Bobbles! When she passed I was distraught, but now that I see her, I'm just delighted. It's exactly what she would have wanted."
"Yeah," Darien thought "Tiffany 'B' may have been a standard poodle pooch with a bad haircut but like all dogs she wanted to sniff butt and devour crap like it was caviar. Don't think she'd be particularly pleased to be humiliated for all eternity."
Darien figured it was time to take a walk. Hobbes was not in the crowd.
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Who's on Faust?
Darien soon came across a loading dock where a group of Tak Ray's followers were processing a shipment of wine and mummy making supplies.
And, BINGO! There in the line up was a short, bald little tough guy from Brooklyn dressed in a simple linen white tunic. For a split second, Darien thought it was the old Hobbes. But just as quickly, the voice, the eyes, the man was gone again. Hobbes wore the same stupid look on his face that was the signature expression of all the cult followers. He almost glowed like he'd been on vacation with his own personal harem! This relaxed look was unfamiliar to Darien but the Invisible Man was still overjoyed to see his long lost partner at last.
Hobbes took a cart filled with chemicals and Darien shadowed him down a hallway as he made his way alone to a supply closet.
At last, without the cult followers about, Darien was able to emerge from his precious Quicksilver, aware that his time was running low.
"Hey Hobbes. How's it going?" Darien asked just as casually as if he'd seen Hobbes about an hour ago.
Hobbes jumped, startled enough to drop a box.
"Fawkes! Dammit! Thought that was you somewhere. I could smell your cheap cologne."
"It's not cheap. So, what have you been up to? Read any good books lately? Seen any good movies? Join any lunatic fringe millennium cults with pickled poodles in their pyramids?"
"I didn't think you'd understand this, Fawkes."
"No? Mmm. How's the Kool-Aid by the way? Here's a tip.Just stay away from the red flavored stuff."
"Fawkes."
"Nice skirt. Off the rack, or did you have it tailored?"
"Fawkes, I. It's the uniform of all supplicants."
"Supplicant, eh."
"Yes. I'm becoming a seeker of the truths of MummerSum." he stated sincerely.
"You know, I never knew you had such cute legs. You should show 'em off more often."
Hobbes sighed, shaking his head and picking up the box of chemicals, placing it on the shelf.
"This is it, Fawkes."
"This is a storage closet."
"This is what I've looked for my whole life. I was in the Marines and the Alpha Betty Agencies, just to find a home." he said sincerely. "But, I never found that there. I believe this is the path to immortality."
"You wanna be immortal? Then cure cancer or become a movie star. But, encasing your body in a husk of fiberglass ain't gonna make you live longer! In fact, I have a feeling it just might actually shorten your viability, don't you think?
"Look," Darien offered, "if this is about the argument last month, I said I was sorry and I meant it!"
"This isn't about you, Fawkes. If you could just open your mind and learn about this, you could join me."
That last comment brought home to him the futility of the situation. Hobbes had gone off half cocked in search of the answers to life the universe and everything and he was not taking sanity with him on the trip.
"Hobbes, I've given up my freedom and my life, to the Agency. I've given up my body and any hope of peace of mind to be my brother's hare-brained science project. I've given up my heart, my trust and my friendship to you and you know those things don't come easy for me. But I will be damned if I give up my soul to an insane cult leader just so we can hang out again!"
Darien looked into Hobbes' eyes, and the full realization that his partner was truly gone hit him hard. It ripped him up inside but continued his veneer of rapid fire glib remarks.
"So, I guess this means we're not going for pizza tonight."
"I'm sorry kid."
"You know what I think?"
"No. What do you think?" Hobbes intoned, sounding like his old self.
"I think you've finally gone completely nuts! Looney toons and then some. Yeah, this is it! The big one! You're off the deep end. I'm gonna get you outta here and get you on some better meds!"
"I don't need those any more. I stopped taking those a couple weeks ago."
"Oh.f.! You have GOT to be kidding me!" Darien was now beside himself. "You ARE outta your mind! Where are they? We gotta get you back on them!"
"I threw them away, down the toilet. They're in the river now." Hobbes smiled, as if he were proud of a great accomplishment.
"You what?"
"I'm sorry you are upset, my friend. I wish you could be happy for me and join me, but I know you must find your own path."
"Yeah, I'm gonna find a path! Right outta here and you're going with me."
"Not possible, my friend."
"Not possible. Why is it 'not possible'?"
"Because, behind you are my new invisible friends, and I don't think they're going to let you leave, that's why 'not possible'."
Darien Quicksilvered only his eyes to see the three invisible cult followers that were there with them.
"Hobbes!"
_______________
Silver Fawkes
He bolted out of the closet leaving Hobbes and his "friends" behind, disappearing as he ran. Now he had to get himself out of this hell hole without being noticed. He was leaving empty handed and with a heavy heart. Emotion began to well up again.
There's little use in being an invisible man when muffled sobs are drawing attention in your direction. He tried futilely to concentrate only on escaping. His mind cruelly played every instance of past abandonment. His parents. His Aunt. His brother's death. His girlfriends. And, now, Hobbes.
Keeping up the shield of Quicksilver he thought he was almost home free as he quickly approached the door at a dead run. Neither the "supplicants" nor Hobbes were on his trail. That was strange.
Had his eyes not been fogged with tears, he might have noticed the mist that had been rising from the floor near the entrance, but he would not have attached any sinister significance to its presence. As he leaped forward, he felt the clutch of an unknown force. His feet stopped, rooted in place and he almost toppled forward from the conflicting forces: his swift run verses the trap that caught him. The mist did its work and as it crawled up his body in waves, its wisps looked like talons engulfing him with licks of flame. Now he found himself petrified in mid-stride, the Quicksilver frozen over his body like a chrome coating.
In his state of suspended animation, his mind was slowed and his eyes were directed forward, but he soon sensed the collection of characters around him. Hobbes stood in front of him looking compassionate but still had the brainwashed grin on his face. He heard Arnaud's voice and saw the mad demi- god of Tak Ray gloating and thanking Am Wai for this "miracle", his arms outstretched showing off his golden robes.
"This man has attempted to defy the will of Am Wai" he boomed smugly. "He is now in his clutches and will suffer punishment for his pride. This is the fate of all who spurn the loving hand of the Great One. All praise be to Am Wai."
"All praise, Am Wai." echoed the followers, including Hobbes, to Darien's great dismay.
-------------------------------
Darien on Ice
Darien awoke, "thawed" in a cell in what he appeared to be the vast basement of the MummerSum facilities. Through the bars he could see the lowly supplicants going about the undertaking of mummification of the bodies of humans and animals. Pungent scents arose from the many large vats which bubbled and troubled the mysterious embalming fluids. Myrrh, Frankincense and Formaldehyde. Yum!
In another section Darien could see the various stages of the elaborate mummification process. A human body was on a large metal autopsy tray receiving its wrappings as the followers chanted at its sides. A dead cat was being bathed in lanolin. A Golden Retriever's corpse had just been brought in. All in all, a gruesome scene.
Remnants of wooden boxes and packing materials were strewn across the dirty floor of the Darien's dingy cell. His eyes involuntarily did a focusing trick into something spindly and purple weaving happily in and out of the debris. He leaped off the dirty cot where he had been laying and backed away from the sight of his tiny foe.
Outside his prison he saw the familiar form of Arnaud de Ferhn gloating over his prize. He was dressed in his MummerSum leader garb, making him look like an extra from an old Hercules flick.
"Da Rien means "It's Nothing" in French. Did you know that?" quipped Arnaud.
"Fun and educational! It's pronounced differently." Darien retorted.
"You must feel right at home in here." Arnaud said as he nodded toward the prison bars.
"Can't say I care for the view or the company."
"Like my new Quicksilver freezer trick? I developed that on my own, in my spare time."
"Earn While You Learn Institute must be so proud of you." Darien quipped.
"I guess I'm up for dissection and or 'milking' any day now."
"No." stated de Ferhn with a yawn.
"No?" Darien was surprised and relieved.
"I no longer need you or your gland. You're last year's model, Fawkes. Old news. I've developed many more powerful glands since I worked on yours. And, I have a whole cult full of willing lab subjects who think they're submitting to the will of Am Wai. They're actually excited about being implanted! They see invisibility as a miracle."
"You just spread joy and sunshine wherever you go!" cracked Darien.
"I was able to add mind control to the mix."
"Much more efficient than blackmail through addiction to Counter Agent." Darien stated with disdain.
"I think so. It's an elegant solution if I do say so myself. Pardon the pun."
"You just brim with wit."
"And, about that Counter Agent, is seems that it met with an unfortunate fate. Such a shame you'll have to rot in here and go insane." Arnaud continued to gloat.
Darien stiffened with that revelation.
"My partner." he attempted, "He's mind-controlled too? Does he have a gland?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?
"Enough of this fun. I'll check back on you to see just how much drool you can produce when you're in Quicksilver Madness! Ta Ta."
Darien struck at the bars with futile anger. Unless or until he could get out of here, he was helpless, and on the road to early senility.
"Euro-trash moron!" Darien muttered.
-----------------------
Risible Man
Later that day Darien saw his old partner approach the cell.
"Hi Hobbes."
"Hey, kid."
"Come to watch me drool?"
"I can see that anytime. I've come to get you out of here."
Darien looked deeply into Hobbes' eyes and saw a familiar soul. Palpable relief that spread over him in a wave of emotion that served as a salve for the pains of the preceding weeks.
"So, you've been play acting. Please say 'yes'"
"Yep. But, this mission is over. I've got enough dope on this place to blow it to the face on Mars. And, ya know what? I missed having your ass to kick!"
Darien stared at him but Hobbes continued.
"If you coulda seen the look on your face when I said I flushed my meds! That was priceless!" he laughed.
"Jesus Bobby! Do you know what I've been going through since you've been on this stupid assignment? I had no idea where you were, what you were doing or if you were lying dead in a ditch somewhere. I didn't even know if it was me that drove you away!" Darien burst out. The emotion from the last month could not be hidden.
Hobbes suddenly felt a rush of guilt. He had a job to do, and he was obeying orders to not inform Darien of what was going on. The ruse had to continue when he met Darien in the supply closet since he knew he was being observed closely. The time was not his to stop to consider exactly how much his absence would affect the younger agent, his friend. And, it never occurred to him that any one would even miss him all that bad.
"We can talk about it later, kid." was all he could say. "Let's go."
Hobbes unlocked the cell and just at the pair began to walk away from the cage, Darien buckled over in pain.
Hobbes immediately checked Darien's tattoo and found only a small amount of green at the end.
"Crap! When you were busy being a Popsicle on a stick, the Counter Agent you had with you was destroyed! I was right there when they did it, but I couldn't stop them!"
"Hobbes, there is a way." he groaned, his hand up to his throbbing skull.
"Claire told me about her latest discovery. It's this spider. It's this Purple thing or something. I've got to get it to bite me. I can't do that on my own!"
"Are you serious?"
"There are a bunch of them in the corner, under the papers. I can't even bring myself to get near them. I've been avoiding them for hours."
"Is it the Purple Nemesis?" Hobbes asked when he thought what it could be. "That thing's deadly!"
"Not to me. Its venom may work like Counter Agent."
"Then again, it may not. It may just kill you!"
"Hobbes! I don't have much time. I've got to get bitten.
"Help me." he implored.
"Stay here." Hobbes went to the corner of the cell where Darien had seen the spiders.
Darien cringed against a wall trying to hide from the zombie like followers of Am Wai, but they didn't seem to care about anything but their tasks. The anticipation of what he was about to do was causing his temperature to rise and beads of sweat were forming on his temple as he slumped down against the grey concrete wall, buckling both with fear and pain.
Hobbes returned from the cell with his leggy prize born gingerly on a piece of wood that had been broken off from a crate. He regarded Darien with compassion but was thinking about the best way to approach this problem.
"Fawkesy, here's what we're gonna do. Do you trust me?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"No. Give me your arm.
Fawkes reluctantly began to push his arm toward Hobbes.
"I.I can't!" Darien's panic rose in his chest as he pulled his arm against his chest.
Hobbes attempted to brace Darien long enough for the spider to bite him, but Darien's phobia was so primal it would have taken a tremendous force to restrain him. The precious spiders kept escaping.
Wait a minute!
"Fawkesy! Plan B. Wait here."
"Please, hurry." Darien begged as the early waves of Quicksilver poisoning coursed through him.
Hobbes returned within minutes with the mist emitter.
"This will work if you just Quicksilver one more time, but leave your arm visible."
"Oh god, I'm so close. OK. Are you ready? Where's the thing?"
"I'll worry about all that, now go for it. Put your arm out and you might want to look away."
As Fawkes spread the Quicksilver over his body while his hand was held over his eyes and he turned his head away from the spider's target. The mist served to fix him in place. It was now only a simple matter of placing the deadly spider on his arm. Angered by the disruption to its hermitage the creature began to nibble on Darien's limb. The bites were severely painful, and the venom burned and sizzled in his veins. Only the frozen Quicksilver kept Darien in place long enough for the deed to be done.
Hobbes removed the freezing mist and Darien began to return to normal. When he tried to stand, his knees buckled but his fall was prevented by Hobbes.
"Hang in there, kid! I got you!"
They checked Darien's Ouroboros; over three quarters green! It worked!
"OK kid. Let's go get that pizza." he said as he patted Darien's belly.
Relief cleansed them both. Darien was still shaky as he recovered from the abject fear. Hobbes held him up and helped him to walk. It felt good to have his arm around Bobby again.
Now it was a simple matter of leaving this shindig. Hobbes cover was not blown; the cult still thought he was a cattle-like convert. He could just grab the girl and walk out the door as if he were going to work in the vineyard. Fawkes could leave the way he entered now that Hobbes had disabled the mist emitters at the door. They just needed to retrieve the Chelsea Clinton wannabe, and vamoose.
"Good day, gentlemen." boomed Beauregard Valentine, the perfect picture of a perfect cult lieutenant. He had the senator's daughter in tow, her golden pooch on a little red wagon behind her. She appeared dazed and crumpled, but still smiling foolishly.
"Ah, crap!" groaned Darien.
"Relax kid! He's one of the good guys."
"Of course I am." stated Valentine with a smirk.
"Hobbes." started Darien.
"Now that we got the girl, we can move." Hobbes was looking at Darien.
"Hobbes."
"What?"
"He's got a gun."
__________________
The Old Razzle Dazzle
"And, he's pointing it at us." Hobbes realized aloud.
"You thought this guy was with us?" Darien asked with genuine surprise.
"Yeah! I did!"
"Nah huh! You? Mr. Instincts, taken in by this dope? I don't believe what I'm hearing."
Hobbes was getting annoyed. "He was supposed to be the point man on this project. He checked out! He has a perfect record."
"Hobbes you're such a sucker! You've been had!" Darien couldn't resist rubbing it in. "If you could see the look on YOUR face right now! Oh this is rich!" Darien clapped.
"Oh, and what about you! 'I'm seeking the path of truth. I threw out my meds.' he said mocking his own words and shaking his hands in the air. "'Why don't you come with me and we can skip around all day and strew rose petals?' You fell for my line of bull!"
"No I didn't!" Darien lied.
The razzle dazzle was in play. As they bantered, they began to separate and inch apart in opposite directions dividing Valentine's attention.
"Oh, yes you did! I saw the look in your eye! I had you going big time!" insisted Hobbes.
"You just didn't know that I was playing along!" stated
"Give me a break! You thought 'Bobby Hobbes is such a big loser and now he's in a cult'. You really thought I'd turn into a leaflet pedaling mummy maker with no attention span!"
"Enough!" screeched Valentine. "You two can elope at the Elvis Chapel later; you bicker like you're married!"
"Hey, Bobby!" Darien said to his partner. "That wasn't bad at all! Nice imagery! Elvis Chapel. I gotta use that one."
"Yeah. You see how he can fit in when he wants to."
Valentine didn't know which way to aim his gun and he sensed he was losing control. Darien Quicksilvered and rushed the super agent, knocking the gun out of his hand. The maneuver was punctuated by the explosion of the weapon. The bullet ricocheted off into the work room, plugging a heated vat. Through the hole a forceful column of steam spewed out into the room, shorting some of the electrical works that lined the high walls. Sparks sputtered and fell to the ground in a brief display, like a firework.
Valentine lunged toward Hobbes, grabbed him and using the skills he had acquired in Tibet, he levitated them both into the main hall of the winery/morgue.
------------------------------
The Hook Brings You Back
"Come out and play Fawkes." taunted Valentine.
Darien remained cloaked and clambered up a scaffold-like structure on the side of the vast basement. He found the controls to the crane that was used for moving vats and other heavy objects. But, he couldn't risk hurting Hobbes.
"Bobby, get outta there!" he hollered, giving away his location to Valentine, who looked in his direction.
Hobbes stocky legs were dangling with force, making Valentine's flight as difficult as he could. He knew he had to break away before they climbed too high or otherwise risk injury. 12 feet. 15 feet into the air. Higher still, they flew above the steaming vats of liquids that left dewy droplets on their bodies.
"I know exactly where you are, Fawkes!" He eyed the crane control area. "You've got to be the most transparent Invisible Man I've ever met!" he cawed.
The followers were confused by the entire display, unsure of exactly what to do without someone actually telling them exactly what to do.
"I've got your little friend, Fawkes." Valentine badgered.
"Who are you calling 'little', Buster Brown?" Hobbes said as he futilely grappled in mid-air with his captor.
Valentine had studied marshal arts with the best of them. He held Black Belts in Tae Kwon Do, Jujutsu, Akido and was well versed in every form of European and American Wrestling and Boxing. He locked Hobbes into a masterly vice grip which could not be broken with Marcus of Queensbury rules. Fortunately Hobbes was from Brooklyn. There ain't too many Queensbury pansies in Brooklyn. His street fighting skills took over as he clamped his teeth down on Valentine's forearm bursting his skin and causing the double agent to squeal with startled agony and unhinge his Kung Fu grip.
Darien then grabbed the controls for the over-sized crane, causing the 400 pound hook on the giant chain to gain momentum. It whaled into the floating Valentine. Its mass smashed his form into electrical panels on the upper walls. His robes caught on fire as he writhed with electrical shocks. In mid-air Valentine burst into flames and screamed in agony as he levitated away.
"Great!" Darien quipped aloud. "Just what this brave New Age needs: A flying flaming asshole."
---------------
Up in Smoke! Down in Flames!
The air sizzled and more sparks flew catching some mummy wrappings. A pile of cardboard boxes along the wall erupted in flames sending acrid smoke into the mix.
Meanwhile, Hobbes' fall had been broken by a vat of fresh squishy grapes. The force of his fall caused the king-size container to tumble over, spilling him and the delicious contents onto the floor. The gas burner was extinguished and the vat toppled over onto the next causing every metal vat in the basement to tumble over like giant steel dominoes. Hobbes leaped from the sticky goo and ran from harm's way. The liquids spilled in all directions, flooding the basement with a rancid cocktail. The distinct scent of natural gas was combining with the odors of grapes and embalming fluids.
A cacophony of alarms smashed through the sounds of escaping steam and bubbling chemicals. Pipes had burst all around, and electrical currents were dangerously close to making the entire basement of the pyramid a tomb for its occupants.
The followers of Am Wai were rushing in all direction like frightened and confused sheep. Some of them simply stood in place, listlessly confused.
"Get out of here! You're all in danger!" A very purple splotched Hobbes was yelling at the dazed MummerSummies to evacuate.
Darien and Hobbes could see de Ferhn, Stark and Tak Ray on a landing above the fray. Le Ferhn was operating a control and Stark was barking orders at him.
"No, to the right! Let me do it!" Stark growled.
"Leave off, will you! I've got it under control." retorted a most annoyed de Ferhn.
Fawkes had descended from his own roost at the crane control and was running toward Hobbes. Before he shed the Quicksilver he could see a small army of invisible "Egyptians" doing the mummy walk toward the unsuspecting Hobbes.
Darien allowed his eyes to remain Quicksilvered. Hobbes was in trouble so he shouted out the location of his foes.
"Hobbes! Look out! Invisible Zombies at 6 O'Clock!" he yelled.
"I did not just said that." he muttered to himself.
Hobbes keen senses saved him. He knew exactly the source of his problems. He had retrieved the gun and managed to shoot the control out of de Ferhn's hands. With satisfaction he saw it tumble two stories to the floor and smash into pieces. The ersatz zombies stopped in confusion and began to reappear as they came out of the spell cast upon them by their glands and the control device.
Defeated, the Chrysalis twins knew it was time to run. Their mini-army foiled by the disabled mind control machine, they scrambled along the scaffolding on the side of the warehouse and vanished through an exit, avoiding flying sparks as they left.
Tak Ray had stood his ground and was preaching through a megaphone that it was all OK. "Am Wai will protect you from those who besmirch the truth. Kill these infidels! All is well! Stay here and serve the will of Am Wai!"
But with the mind control device gone, his followers' self preservation instincts finally took over and they were ignoring his entreaties, exiting the basement in a quick hurry. They scattered in all directions as a grape- stained Hobbes continued yelling at them to evacuate. This time, they were listening.
Chemicals and flame were heading toward a storage area. Hobbes realized with horror what he was seeing.
"We gotta get outta here, kid." Hobbes yelled over the sounds of escaping steam and stampeding religious zealots.
"Oh yeah? What was your first clue?" Darien shouted in return.
"These idiots have been amassing a small arsenal and they're storing it down here!" he hollered at Darien above the din of alarms, the crackle of sparks and pomposity of sermons. "That's one of the things they're do here! They were planning an assault on key Government installations. This place is gonna blow! Let's go get that silly kid and get the hell outta here NOW!"
--------------
Pickled Poodle of Fate or The Maltese Mutt
The Senator's daughter was cowering in a corner clutching her metallic mutt and sobbing. Hobbes and Darien each tried to take an arm, but the girl went into violent hysterics. She would not leave the petrified poodle behind for love or money.
"C'mon girly girl! We're leaving!" ordered Hobbes.
"Noooo!" she screeched. "My Tiffany Bobbles! I can't leave my Tiffany Bobbles!"
"It's always something!" whined Fawkes.
Both men looked at each other like ironic bookends and rolled their eyes.
There was no way to get the wagon through the flood and up the scaffolding stairs and all other exits were blocked. Without a word, the partners knew exactly what to do. Reluctantly they each grappled with an end of the heavy dog, and where it went the crazed damsel followed.
"Where are you taking my Tiffany Bobbles?" She sobbed but followed as they had hoped. "I want my Tiffany Bobbles."
-----------------------------
Into the Sunset
The trio.sorry, the FOUR of them managed to clear out of the pyramid before the grand explosion shook the earth. They planted Tiffany Bobbles in the back of the van along with the distraught girl and drove off into the liquid sky of an orange and blue dusky sunset.
Fawkes watched in the rear view mirror the specter of the ruins of the MummerSum temple diminished into the horizon. Great billowing clouds of black smoke rose from the remains of its flaming frame.
"This should make the 11 O'Clock News. Wish I could see the 'Fish's face. He'll KNOW it was us!" commented Darien.
"Oh yeah. You got that right."
It felt good to ride in Golda again; she'd gone with Hobbes. And, it felt really good to look over and see Hobbes at his side. Even in with his purple blotches and tattered tunic, he was a beautiful sight to behold!
"You know, from now on, I'm just not going to call it a 'successful mission' unless we've left a large crater in the earth." cracked Darien.
Hobbes was laughing. "We know how ta have a good time, don't we, kid?"
"That's O for 2. I wonder how much trouble we'll be in this time." Darien moaned.
"Get the girl. Check! Infiltrate, Check! Investigate and Disrupt, Check and Check! We fulfilled the mission." Hobbes said, counting off the checks on his fingers. "And, how angry can the Fat Man be if he's got a happy Presidential candidate on his hands?"
"The rental car is back there!" stated Darien.
"Whew! I guess that'll set you back a few bucks." Hobbes said.
"No, not really."
"You got the insurance?"
"Nah. I used your credit card." Darien stated matter of fact.
"How did you get. Fawkes! You sticky fingered sonnofa. You stole my credit card! Why I oughta."
Hobbes stopped.
"Aren't you angry?" asked Darien sheepishly.
"Nah!"
"Nah?"
"Nah"
He paused.
"It was an Agency card."
Darien reached out and gave Hobbes a playful punch on his arm.
-----------------------------
Film at 11
"This was the scene today at the MummerSum temple in East Lansing Utah. The pyramid structure served as the headquarters for this new age religious sect.
Like the Ancient Egyptians this group believed that mummification was the true method of attaining eternal life.
Their doctrines of love and peace belied the vast arsenal of weapons and chemical explosives which were stockpiled at their headquarters here in East Lansing, Utah. The purpose of these explosives are unknown at this time, however some former members of the cult have come forward with reports of terrorist plots within the United States and Canada.
MummerSum was led by former Used Car Dealer Gerald Pinkerton. He used the name Tak Ray and claimed to be channeling the will of the god, Am Wai.
Investigators were at the scene and more details will be released as they are revealed.
This is Jessica Norge, reporting live from the scene of the MummerSum temple in East Lansing, Utah."
-----------------
Bobby and Darien took a moment for a high five and pointed at each other arguing about who be da man.
"You da man!"
"No, you da man!"
"No, you da man!" and so forth.
The pair were leaning back to back in front of Darien's TV.
"You know Fawkes, before I met you my life was dull."
Fawkes took another swig of root beer.
"Hobbes. You planning to stick around?"
"Yeah, I can stick around. I ain't got no plans. You wanna see a movie?" he asked casually nibbling on the last of a soft pretzel.
Darien thought for a moment.
"You playing with me?
"What? Oh. No, kid! I'm not." as he realized what Darien was really asking; some reassurance.
"Look, I'm sorry." he continued. "I was under some pretty strict orders. No uncertain terms. So, I did what I had to do. Some days you're just gonna have to deal with that, my friend.
"The way I see it, it wasn't really necessary to exclude you. The Official wanted to keep you as a trump card. I don't get all of his reasons. And don't you think for one minute that he bothered letting me in on why he insisted it be that way."
"Yeah. Blame the Official."
Fawkes remained pensive.
"The whole office? Claire told me some of it."
"What? Oh, no. She's exaggerating based on what Eberts must have told her. It was only part of the office, the desk and Eberts' legs."
"I'm touched!" Hobbes said sincerely.
"You got that right!" Darien said, making the "coo coo" sign with as he pointed his index finger to his head.
"No seriously! No one's ever cared enough to disappear half an office because I'm off somewhere. Just wish I could have seen that!"
Darien grinned. "Eberts looked like he was about to die on the spot!"
"Now see, that's what I'm talking about partner! Do you think I could ever leave that kind of thing behind? What, and quit spy biz?"
Darien turned away, and sighed deeply, still back to back with Hobbes. The emotional side stepping was wearing on him, but he realized that it was Hobbes he was talking to and the guy's guy was not about to get all mushy on him and promise to stay in his life forever.
In reality, that may just not happen and yeah, Darien would have to grow up and deal with it, no matter how much it hurt. Darien was still feeling the effects of the last few weeks, even though for all intents and purposes Hobbes was back.
Then Hobbes pulled something that took him completely by surprise. The older man turned around and gathered Darien in his arms giving him the best hug he'd ever had in his life. Surprised at first Darien quickly hugged him back with great feeling, a couple tears of relief falling to the older man's shoulder.
"That's enough of that, kid." he said as he released the hold and patted Darien on the shoulder. "Let's go to that movie!" But he was hiding his own dampened eyes.
Fandom: Invisible Man, (2000)
Status: Complete
Author: Betsy Manning (aka AnitaLife, because honest to god, I really need a life!)
E-me: betsybird27@hotmail.com Feedback: Sure.
Disclaimers: This bit of nonsense is meant as a tribute. It is not meant as an infringement on the rights of the owners/creators of The Invisible Man which is the property of Stu Segall Productions or USA Cable Entertainment.
Rating: PG. Some language. Some angst. Some humor. Hopefully in the spirit of the canon of the show.
Archive: Please let me know where so I can get you the most recent version.
Spoilers: None that I'm aware of.
Synopsis: Darien's best friend is gone and his only hope is his worst fear!
Hobbes has disappeared and Fawkes can't get straight answer from the Agency. When The Official introduces him to a shiny new partner, Fawkes loses it and starts to take things into his own hands. Can Fawkes find his partner and can the two ever be reunited? What of the strange pyramid cult? And, just what kind of wicked and frightening substitute for counter agent is this anyway! Some twists and turns in this one, folks. I'm not saying anything else.
---------------------------------------------
Pyramid Scheme The Invisible Man Meets the Mummy People
"Don't it always seem to go That you don't know what you've got till it's gone."
That's what the great Joni Mitchell sang in her mellifluous tones and dozens of folks said the same thing before her.
I never knew how much I took Hobbes for granted. But, of course, now I sure do.
-----------
Darien watched the gushing rain drench the street and wash over his window. He sat folded up, his arms wrapped around his legs as he stared out the window. He felt weak and wrung out as if some one had run him through an old style washing machine. Uncried tears welled up in his eyes, but did not fall with the rain.
Hobbes was gone and Darien was becoming more and more despondent.
It's not just that Hobbes was out for the day. For the week. Or the month? He'd been gone for at least three weeks, just like that, without a "good bye" or even a hardy hi-ho "good riddance".
He hadn't just gone for pizza or taken a stroll. He wasn't off sight-seeing at the Taj Mahal in Agra or the Pyramids at Giza. At least, Darien didn't think he was. The truth was, he just didn't know. He didn't even know if he were alive or dead.
Darien could not get a straight answer from the Official. Eberts was useless, clutching to his party line the way he clutched his manila folders. Claire was just as cagey as the other two.
Why were they doing this? It felt like they were staging a conspiracy against one. He couldn't tell if Bobby was on assignment. Could it be Agency business? Had he been reassigned? Had he resigned? Did he have a nervous breakdown? Did he do something wrong, cross the Official and get his ass kicked to Timbuktu?
Darien could deal with that. It was the cruelty of not knowing that was tearing him to pieces. The fierceness of emotions that wracked his chest and stomach was compounded with the utter hopelessness that now enveloped him.
Would Hobbes ever come back? Could he come back?
All Darien knew was absolutely nothing. And, all he felt was déjà vu all over again. No matter how hard he tried to shake the sinking depression, he could not escape this sense of abandonment. He was alone in the world again. So what else was new?
He realized now that before Hobbes had disappeared he had allowed himself to be lulled into a state of false security and contentment. It was Hobbesy and Fawkesy all the way. Best buds and even surrogate brothers. For some reason Darien took Hobbes' vow that he never "bailed" on his partner as gospel truth. He accepted whole heartedly that Bobby would always be there for him and he accepted it on faith alone. He really believed Hobbes. He really WANTED to believe him with all his heart and soul.
"I'm an idiot" he told himself. "Everyone always 'bails' on Darien Fawkes in the long run." He thought, Hobbes' style as he watched the rain smother the world.
Nothing in Darien's personal history had ever led him to blindly accept that Hobbes would really stand by him, even with Hobbes' vow as the carrot to that acceptance. Perhaps he suffered some sort of false hope or inexplicable optimism that allowed him to espouse the conviction that for once he wasn't going to be left behind. Perhaps he just wanted the feeling that at last he'd found a home.
"Way to hoax yourself, Fawkesy" he muttered.
Darien found a million ways to heap blame upon himself. He went over every moment before the Monday when Hobbes did not report to work. They'd been spitting and spatting a little more than usual and the familiar joviality of their banter had worn thin. Did Hobbes take their bickering to heart? Was the tension between them in the preceding weeks really more than the older agent could bear? Did he actually get on Hobbes' nerves enough to cause him to vanish from the face of Darien's personal planet?
Darien didn't remember exactly what the argument was about. It was that trivial. But it involved a dispute over who took point on some aspects of the previous mission. Hobbes could be such a control freak, micromanaging and criticizing every move that Darien made.
He remembered the crescendo of the argument. They'd been bickering back and forth all morning, thrust and parry, but then they had to report to a meeting with the Official. As the pair entered the office, they were still spatting. Now their fight had been elevated to pouting, each going to their respective corners like prize fighters between bouts.
"I'm sorry, sir" offered Hobbes with familiar sarcastic gravel in his voice as he took his seat. "Fawkesy here is havin' a bad hair day."
"What? Did you two have a lovers quarrel?" was the Official's contemptuous comment.
"Yeah, we did." responded Fawkes with equal rancor, now including the Official in the line of fire. "It's just that Hobbes always insists on being on top every time."
"Sonnofabitch! That's it!" Hobbes lost it. Engulfed in red heat he leaped toward Darien. In a flash, he brought his right fist up to unite like a lightening strike with Darien's jaw. Darien could have Quicksilvered and dodged him but he was so angry he'd actually forgotten his powers and stood his ground. His chest was thrust out in defiance of Hobbes' rage, his own fist going back for the return blow.
The Official had responded with equal speed and stood between the battling pair, grasping them by their arms and holding them at bay. He hadn't always been a desk jockey. The older man's early days as an action man had been revealed.
"Sit down, gentlemen!" he roared. The two men plopped in their respective chairs.
"Have you forgotten where you are? When you're in these offices I expect some veneer of professional deportment!
"Now, I'll thank you both to refrain from mutual annihilation. After this mission you can tear each other to shreds for all I care, but until then, you both have jobs to do!
"Eberts!"
"If Buzz and Woody are finished with their song and dance." Eberts said, joining the joust.
"Eberts, shut up! Hand these idiots their files." the Official huffed as they all sucked it in and tried to get through the briefing.
---------------------------------
Darien went over that whole incident a few times just to really torture himself. After their row, they'd made up, he thought. God, they had even hugged! There were lots of apologies delivered with embarrassment, each taking the blame for everything said and done, even if it hadn't been their fault.
Could that have been "it"? Would that series of arguments have precipitated Hobbes' leaving this way?
"Was it all my fault?" Darien asked himself pathetically. "Did I drive him away?"
The days since Hobbes' had vanished were filled with emotional clouds and rain. Everything was strange and tense. Life didn't seem worth living.
The Official and Eberts continued their silent stoic acts, always responding with comments about "need to know" and some other bull. Fawkes was assigned some minor investigations, which he performed like a sleep walker. He had to case a few locations. Plant some spy devices. Busy work, really. Invisibility made it easier, but any Agent Joe Blow in any Joe Blow Agency could have performed these tasks.
______________
Beauregard Valentine-Super Agent
The Official issued his summons for Fawkes for a Monday morning briefing. Oh joy.
Darien had this crazy hope that Hobbes would be at the office, complete with an elaborate and entertaining explanation of his recent disappearance. They'd laugh together about Hobbes' latest escapade, chat and party over beer and nachos. But it was not so. There was still no sign of Hobbes.
Darien looked even more crumpled than ever as he dragged himself to work. His hair was not fussed with at all and for that matter was barely washed. His unlaundered shirt and pants completed his unkempt ensemble. Framing his bloodshot eyes were dark circles from endless sleepless nights of worry about Hobbes.
He vaulted to the Official's office. This would be the last time he would ask. If the Fat Man was not forthcoming, Darien would take things into his own hands.
As he entered the office he noticed that in addition to the kingly Official and his serfly shadow Eberts, there was a smartly dressed and pressed looking fellow.
What a specimen!
He was the very picture of James Bond, but with a squeaky cleanness. His perfectly proportioned and chiseled features would turn the head of any lady and quite a few gents. He was attired perfectly. His Saville Road tailored suit fit perfectly over his Steve Reeves physique. His shock of thick, deep brown hair was perfectly coifed. Handsome and then some, his manor was rakish, but not smarmy. Trustworthy. Loyal. Helpful. Friendly. Courteous. Kind. Obedient. Cheerful. Thrifty. Brave. Clean. Reverent. In short, loathsome in every way. At first glance Darien hated him and what he represented.
"Good morning Agent Fawkes!" the Official beamed. "This is Agent Beauregard Valentine. He'll be working with you."
"Hello, Agent Fawkes! Please, call me Beau." the spotless man chirped extending his hand in warm greeting. "I'm really looking forward to joining this project. The Official has told me so many good things about you."
Darien gave a grim scoff as she shook his head. He cast an icy glare at the Official and refrained from accepting Valentine's offered hand.
"So, that's it, is it? Just bring in a new guy."
"Fawkes," the Official made entreaty, "it's time to move on."
"I don't think so. I think you're gonna tell me where Hobbes is."
"That is a closed subject. That is all you need to know."
Something snapped.
Darien watched himself as if he were having an out of body experience. He saw himself clambering atop the Official's desk, his dirty red Converse high tops sending files and paper clips cascading to the floor.
"Need to know. I'm pretty damn sick of hearing about 'need to know'. I'll tell you something about needing to know. I NEED TO KNOW WHERE HOBBES IS." His voice was cracking with grief and anger.
"I'm not doing anything else for you until I know what's going on with Hobbes!" he scolded from his new perch. When you give me a straight answer, I might work for you again, but until then, nothin' doing. Do you get me?"
"Fawkes, this is gross insubordination! I won't have it! Get the hell off my desk!" the Official growled taken aback by this new affront to his authority. And, in front of the new man!
"Oh, so sorry SIR" Darien gave a mock salute. "Silly me. I forget some times that I'm a pawn in your little game, and that my needs and feelings don't count for crap.
"It never occurred to you that I would NOTICE if Hobbes did his own disappearing act? What! Did you think I'd just skip around like a big happy hoppy floppy bunny? 'Oh, and this is your new and improved partner' 'Oh really, 'Fish? Cool!' And when I get to know and depend on this one, will he vanish without a word too? Sounds good to me! Let me pencil you in, buddy" he addressed Valentine at last, "and we'll do lunch! Nice suit, by the way, guy! Not my style, but it looks good on you."
"Fawkes, I will slam you into a padded cell so fast."
"Yeah, well, you tried that ploy before! Go for it. I've got nothing to lose right now!"
"Fawkes, I'll have your hide!
"You can have my Jekyll and my Hyde!"
With that he began to spill Quicksilver over his body and did not stop with that. The silvery liquid burst forth like a fountain over the desk, the floor and even to the recoiling Official and Eberts. Eberts watched in abject horror as his legs seemed to dematerialize before his eyes. Part of the wall was disappearing which created a gaping hole that over looked the street. Valentine was astonished, but stood in Action Figure Position One. An invisible desk lamp catapulted past his head and he dodged its mass with practiced Kung Fu motion guided only by his hearing. The Official was soundly thumped in the chest with a see-through phone which then shattered on the floor. Eberts covered his face with folders and instinctively used his clipboard as a shield to avoid being slashed with the contents of an unseen pencil cup that had been heaved in his direction.
But such a profusion of Quicksilver and emotion soon took its toll on Darien's body. He doubled over in agony. Lake Quicksilver evaporated around him into its own nothingness.
The reveal found him in a fetal position writhing from the pain that wracked his skull. The Ouroboros on his wrist was almost completely red. He was close, but no cigar. The pain stopped him from the planned murderous rampage, but he hoped at least that he'd made his point.
"Fawkes, go to the Keep, son." was the Official's simple quiet instruction, an almost compassionate response. Eberts was frankly surprised by the Official's reaction. Not only was Darien's behavior gross insubordination, it was flagrant misuse of government resources.
"I'll be happy to help you get there" attempted Valentine.
Darien spurned the offer and slapped the man's good intentioned hand away. As he climbed gingerly off the desk waves of pain throbbed through his body. His knees almost buckled but he continued to reject their offers of help. Only the Official had the wisdom to allow Darien to manage on his own.
He regained enough control to stalk out of the office slamming the door as hard as he possibly could, just to punctuate the entire event.
"Sir, would you like me to draw up forms for disciplinary action?" Eberts began.
"Leave it, Eberts. Apprise Claire of the situation." but he realized that the phone was destroyed, lying in jagged pieces at his feet.
"Use your cel phone.
"I'm truly sorry, Valentine. I'd like you stay around. I think I'm going to need your services."
-------------------
The Purple Nemesis-A New Best Friend
Darien slowly made his way to the Keep and arrived to meet his waiting Keeper. Her arms were folded across her chest, and she was tapping her foot ever so slightly.
"Do you want to talk about it, Darien?" Claire asked as she went to prepare an injection of Counter Agent.
"I've been trying to talk about it with you, for three weeks, Claire. You had your chance. Give me a shot." he said has he plopped into his chair.
"You know." she began, about to respond in anger. She thought better of it. When injecting the blue liquid, she did find herself jabbing Darien's arm with some roughness and pulled back the rubber tubing with a sharp snap, leaving a sting where it hit Darien's arm.
"Are you going to help me?" he implored.
"I am helping you, mate." she said as she swabbed his arm with alcohol.
"Is that what stony silence is called these days?"
She went to a grey metal shelving unit against a brick wall and pulled out a small animal carrier, complete with a clear plastic side and sparse habitat of a few twigs. Darien practically leaped up when he realized what the cage contained. Inside it he could discern one of his lifelong enemies. Waves of cold and heat tingled over his body.
The plastic cage held a tiny spindly eight-legged monster. A few doomed crickets lined the bottom of the cage. Darien viewed with horror the larder consisting of several entombed insect bodies. Unable to look away, he witnessed the execution and undertaking of the current prey that the spider was encasing with silk. Against all hope the hapless victim struggled weakly as the venom overcame it. Darien knew how it felt.
His heart raced at the sight, and he stood behind his brown chair, using it as a weak shield between himself and Claire and her new charge.
"This little fellow, Darien, is your new best friend."
He eyed her with disbelief as his palms dampened and his throat seized.
"That's great Claire. I must have missed that memo. Can you put my new best friend away, so I don't have to look at him!" his voice cracked.
"I know arachnology is not your strong suit, so let me explain before you leave your own skin.
"It's called the Purple Nemesis, Nemesis laticlavius. Note the strong purple stripe that gives it its distinctive look and name. Very beautiful, really. It's fairly common. It likes to hide in dark places, attics and basements like the Brown Recluse Spider Loxosceles recluse its closest cousin. Only this little fellow is infinitely more deadly than its family member. Its venom is extremely poisonous, acting as a neural disrupter, often causing unbearable pain, paralysis and eventually death."
Darien continued to cringe away the blood thumping through his chest.
"Claire, put the spider down!" Darien was shaking now.
She ignored him and went on.
"What I did find fascinating, and this is the really good bit, is that its venom is also almost chemically identical to Counter Agent."
Darien halted, catching his breath.
"Ah, there now, I thought that would get your attention, mate."
"Oh, you have had my attention.
"So, it spits Counter Agent. And, I don't want to be in the same solar system with that thing! Where does that leave us?"
"Darien, I know you're a lot smarter than you look. You figure it out."
"Why do I think I'm not going to like this at all?"
"Because, I'm afraid, you won't like this at all.
"You see, here's the really unfortunate hitch. Unlike most spiders or snakes, the Purple Nemesis' venom can not be extracted in the normal manner. It loses its viability instantly, once it's been milked. It must be injected by direct contact only."
"I really don't like this at all!"
"No. I don't think you're not going to enjoy getting Purple Nemesis spider bites as part of our next series of tests."
Darien's face had gone stark white.
"There isn't enough sedative in the western hemisphere. I can't believe you'd even suggest this! Especially now!
"You can knock me out for these tests, can't you?" he implored.
"I'm sorry Darien. The addition of any other chemical to your system would skew the test results.
"Darien, if there were any other way, don't you think I would pursue it? This finding could significantly reduce the costs and dependence on our present Counter Agent. This could spell a breakthrough of leaps and bounds."
"Yeah, well, for right now, I'm leaping and bounding out of here!" He quickly walked to the door. He'd had enough for today!
"Darien!" she called. "Arohhh!" she groaned in frustration.
Valentine chose that moment to make his appearance at the door to the Keep. He began to try to speak to Darien, but the lanky man had brushed by him, but paused long enough to say:
"Lay a hand on her, golden boy, and I'll personally take you out! You won't see it coming!" Darien threatened, feeling a sudden rush of brotherly protectiveness toward Claire.
Valentine made no further attempt to speak to him or stop him. Bemused, he put his hands up in resignation.
Darien was gone.
------------------------------
The Search for Bobby Hobbes
Infiltrate, Investigate and Disrupt
That evening found Darien back at the office but not as an employee. Tonight he was there in his capacity as a master thief. Or maybe just a regular thief, but be that as it may, he was there to find a lead on Hobbes' whereabouts and take enough Counter Agent to go on a quest: The Search for Bobby Hobbes. If only he could find some leads on where his partner had gone. Without a heading this whole escapade would be worthless, so it was with a great deal of glee that he found exactly the file he was looking for without much ado.
"Eberts, you little weasel!" he thought. "You made this so easy to find. God bless your organizational abilities! I'll kill you last!"
As it turns out, Hobbes had been assigned to "infiltrate, investigate and disrupt operations" at a new age mummification and resurrection cult known as MummerSum. There was also the small matter of a rescue of a Senator's daughter who'd joined the cult; a Senator with prospects to be the next in the White House. It looked like he could actually make it, if he did not suffer the public embarrassment of having a wacko for a kid.
Fawkes was relieved to have this information, but something was not right. The paper trail to MummerSum ended 10 days back, when the Agency stopped getting reports from Hobbes. That did not bode well. Hobbes could be in trouble!
The mission was a typical Cult Infiltration, Retrieval and Deprogramming assignment. Why hadn't Darien been in on this? He could help! Or at the very least, why not let him know that Hobbes was on assignment! He would not have been driven to distraction by the agony of not knowing his partner's state of being. Not only had he been suffering from major abandonment issues, he'd been worried sick!
Evidently, MummerSum was believed to be another wacky Chrysalis front, but this one had a twist. With Chrysalis behind a charismatic cult leader, they could have all the free labor at their disposal that their greedy devious little minds could think to use. All they would need to do was tell the brainwashed followers that their work was in service of the great god du jour, Am Wai.
The charismatic cult leader was styled as Tak Ray. Rhymes with Am Wai. He established MummerSum in 1989 after his used car dealership went belly up. His real name was Gerald Heathcliff Pinkerton of Pinkerton Motors.
"Eek! I'd change my name too!" Darien thought.
"Hello, Fawkes. Find what you need?"
Darien jumped as the man's voice boomed like a radio announcer's.
It was Valentine's day at night. Damn! Was he putting in a few late night hours, trying to impress his new boss?
"Yo, Beau! What d'ya know? And, what the hell do you care?" Darien was unsure where he stood. Was there about to be a tussle?
"Hey, it's cool." Valentine responded. "I wouldn't dream of hindering your efforts.
"That was a pretty scene you pulled in the office today. I've never seen an invisibility display of that extent. When I was in Tibet I found the practice of mental levitation quite interesting. But, you! You're performance was most impressive."
"Well, yeah, I can never resist putting on a show. I'm just a born actor!"
"I bet! I've read your file with great interest. You're quite the loose cannon! But, then that's what makes life interesting."
"Are you going to get out of my way?"
"Oh, by the way, Claire and I shared a lovely dinner. She's quite a lady! Very passionate. About her work, of course."
"Are you just trying to piss me off?"
"Of course. I can't resist a guy with a short wick."
Darien decided that Valentine just wasn't worth his time. He knew where Hobbes had been ensconced. Now he just had to get the Counter Agent and get on the road.
He simply vanished and made his way to the Keep to retrieve the blue liquid that would extend the time he could spend away from the Agency. Valentine made no move to stop him.
-----------------------------
A Kept Man
As Darien reached the Keep he saw a familiar sight: that gorgeous woman in a lab coat.
"Hello, Darien. Putting in a little over time, I see."
Claire! Good grief! Now they just needed the Official and Eberts and they could order the complimentary Pu Pu Platter.
"Hello." he said sheepishly.
"Or are you moonlighting?"
She'd been putting Counter Agent and accoutrements in a handy dandy carry case.
"You know, if this gets back to Charlie, I'll be finished."
"I won't tell if you don't. But, your boyfriend is in the building. He stopped by just long enough to get a few digs in. You like that guy?"
"He's not my boyfriend and I hardly know him enough to like or dislike him. You on the other hand.I have formed a rather firm opinion about you through these many months of close association."
Darien put on his best puppy dog charming smile. "And, what would that opinion be?"
"Oh no! Don't even try that, mate!" she said, shaking her head and wagging a finger at him. "Didn't you get that I know you all too well?
"Look. I've turned off the surveillance. I haven't triggered any alarms and here's your Counter Agent, enough for three weeks. Does that answer your question?"
"Close enough." he started to choke up.
"This means a lot to me, Claire." he said softly with true sincerity. "Thank you."
"I hope you find him."
"I will."
"One warning. If anything happens to this Counter Agent, it'll be an inevitable date for you--with the Purple Nemesis. Do you understand?"
"Yes, ma'am." He gave her a sweet kiss of thanks on her cheek as he took the Counter Agent and disappeared.
"Hey, what about Agent Percival Perfect?" Darien said from his cloak of invisibility.
"Just go, Darien." she spoke into the air. "I'll worry about him. Good luck!"
--------------------------------
Pyramid Power
The MummerSum flagship pyramid structure slashed the Utah sky like a steely blade. Its sharpened angles were accentuated by a cloak of gun metal toned solar panels that clad its entire surface. Isolated, it glinted in the distance like a scar upon an otherwise perfect desert-scape. Heat waves at its base made its mass appear to float in the clouds.
Darien could imagine many a soft minded follower, predisposed to religious fervor, would be feeling the awe and mystery of it as they approached. The 11th hour was here, and that was the length of his exhausting overnight drive. He was feeling apprehension, concern and even excitement at the possibility of reuniting with Hobbes.
As he drew closer, Darien's rental car was flanked by the acres of vineyards that lined the road. He could see many MummerSum followers working amid the stands of grape vines. They looked happy. Their Egyptian- inspired clothing created an odd picture as they carried baskets of luscious purple fruit on their heads, laughing and singing the praises of Am Wai as they worked.
There was only one way to approach this problem. Darien parked his car in the ample lot, walked in the front door under a Quicksilver mantel.
There was a grand meeting in progress. Tak Ray was preaching the doctrine of love, hope and eternal life through mummification from a stage in a grand central court. The theatre was in the round, with dewy-eyed followers seated on all sides, making the stage the focal point of the room. The set up was similar to a fight arena but with the stage set up above the crowd. It served to elevate Tak Ray and his cronies, physically and psychologically.
As a con-man, Darien recognized Tak Ray's masterly style and technique. The trick to any scam was to sell people an alchemical mix of three things.
One: Offer commonly held truths, which resonate with all people. Two: Tell them a few lies that which they really want to hear. Promise them the fulfillment of the hopes that they have. Three: Interweave that which your own agenda into the truths and lies.
The first two make the third go down with ease. And, don't forget to make yourself the only path to the goals of truths and hope.
Once the mark is hooked you can operate. Works every time the way it's always worked with human beings since they proliferated upon the earth. A con man was a con man in any time or place whether he was pedaling a get rich scheme or a wacko religious belief system. The goal was always the same: profit through control over the victim.
Darien continued to scan the stage and who did he happen to see sitting regally up there with Tak Ray sporting full royal Egyptian garb? Why it was Super Agent Dudley Gorgeous himself. He was evidently Tak Ray's right hand man and was nodding and clapping on cue. He was therefore more than likely an operator for Chrysalis. Oh this should be good! Darien looked forward to rubbing the Official's nose in this hiring blunder!
It was then not a surprise then to see Arnaud de Ferhn also sharing the limelight with Jarod Stark in the MummerSum officer set. Didn't they look cute in those wigs? Darien had to stifle a laugh.
"Great!" thought Darien. "Old home week!"
Now it was the "sharing" portion of their service. A young woman stood up and gave her thoughts and feelings to her fellow followers.
Darien immediately recognized the Senator's daughter cooing effusively over what appeared to be a golden larger-than-life sized statue of a poodle. It was gaudy in crinkly gold leaf with rhinestone inlays. The detail of the signature poodle cuff on each leg reinforced the look of being one of the tackier prizes foisted upon giddy Wheel of Fortune winners.
From what Darien had gleaned from the Agency's file, he assumed the statue actually contained the mummified remains of the girl's former pet. It had been embalmed in an elaborate and lengthy process and then encased in a fiberglass sculpture. The type of finish was chosen as an option. Could have been black lacquer, but no. Miss Senator's Daughter went for the gold leaf. What lousy taste!
"I just want to tell you how happy I am with Tiffany Bobbles! When she passed I was distraught, but now that I see her, I'm just delighted. It's exactly what she would have wanted."
"Yeah," Darien thought "Tiffany 'B' may have been a standard poodle pooch with a bad haircut but like all dogs she wanted to sniff butt and devour crap like it was caviar. Don't think she'd be particularly pleased to be humiliated for all eternity."
Darien figured it was time to take a walk. Hobbes was not in the crowd.
--------------------------
Who's on Faust?
Darien soon came across a loading dock where a group of Tak Ray's followers were processing a shipment of wine and mummy making supplies.
And, BINGO! There in the line up was a short, bald little tough guy from Brooklyn dressed in a simple linen white tunic. For a split second, Darien thought it was the old Hobbes. But just as quickly, the voice, the eyes, the man was gone again. Hobbes wore the same stupid look on his face that was the signature expression of all the cult followers. He almost glowed like he'd been on vacation with his own personal harem! This relaxed look was unfamiliar to Darien but the Invisible Man was still overjoyed to see his long lost partner at last.
Hobbes took a cart filled with chemicals and Darien shadowed him down a hallway as he made his way alone to a supply closet.
At last, without the cult followers about, Darien was able to emerge from his precious Quicksilver, aware that his time was running low.
"Hey Hobbes. How's it going?" Darien asked just as casually as if he'd seen Hobbes about an hour ago.
Hobbes jumped, startled enough to drop a box.
"Fawkes! Dammit! Thought that was you somewhere. I could smell your cheap cologne."
"It's not cheap. So, what have you been up to? Read any good books lately? Seen any good movies? Join any lunatic fringe millennium cults with pickled poodles in their pyramids?"
"I didn't think you'd understand this, Fawkes."
"No? Mmm. How's the Kool-Aid by the way? Here's a tip.Just stay away from the red flavored stuff."
"Fawkes."
"Nice skirt. Off the rack, or did you have it tailored?"
"Fawkes, I. It's the uniform of all supplicants."
"Supplicant, eh."
"Yes. I'm becoming a seeker of the truths of MummerSum." he stated sincerely.
"You know, I never knew you had such cute legs. You should show 'em off more often."
Hobbes sighed, shaking his head and picking up the box of chemicals, placing it on the shelf.
"This is it, Fawkes."
"This is a storage closet."
"This is what I've looked for my whole life. I was in the Marines and the Alpha Betty Agencies, just to find a home." he said sincerely. "But, I never found that there. I believe this is the path to immortality."
"You wanna be immortal? Then cure cancer or become a movie star. But, encasing your body in a husk of fiberglass ain't gonna make you live longer! In fact, I have a feeling it just might actually shorten your viability, don't you think?
"Look," Darien offered, "if this is about the argument last month, I said I was sorry and I meant it!"
"This isn't about you, Fawkes. If you could just open your mind and learn about this, you could join me."
That last comment brought home to him the futility of the situation. Hobbes had gone off half cocked in search of the answers to life the universe and everything and he was not taking sanity with him on the trip.
"Hobbes, I've given up my freedom and my life, to the Agency. I've given up my body and any hope of peace of mind to be my brother's hare-brained science project. I've given up my heart, my trust and my friendship to you and you know those things don't come easy for me. But I will be damned if I give up my soul to an insane cult leader just so we can hang out again!"
Darien looked into Hobbes' eyes, and the full realization that his partner was truly gone hit him hard. It ripped him up inside but continued his veneer of rapid fire glib remarks.
"So, I guess this means we're not going for pizza tonight."
"I'm sorry kid."
"You know what I think?"
"No. What do you think?" Hobbes intoned, sounding like his old self.
"I think you've finally gone completely nuts! Looney toons and then some. Yeah, this is it! The big one! You're off the deep end. I'm gonna get you outta here and get you on some better meds!"
"I don't need those any more. I stopped taking those a couple weeks ago."
"Oh.f.! You have GOT to be kidding me!" Darien was now beside himself. "You ARE outta your mind! Where are they? We gotta get you back on them!"
"I threw them away, down the toilet. They're in the river now." Hobbes smiled, as if he were proud of a great accomplishment.
"You what?"
"I'm sorry you are upset, my friend. I wish you could be happy for me and join me, but I know you must find your own path."
"Yeah, I'm gonna find a path! Right outta here and you're going with me."
"Not possible, my friend."
"Not possible. Why is it 'not possible'?"
"Because, behind you are my new invisible friends, and I don't think they're going to let you leave, that's why 'not possible'."
Darien Quicksilvered only his eyes to see the three invisible cult followers that were there with them.
"Hobbes!"
_______________
Silver Fawkes
He bolted out of the closet leaving Hobbes and his "friends" behind, disappearing as he ran. Now he had to get himself out of this hell hole without being noticed. He was leaving empty handed and with a heavy heart. Emotion began to well up again.
There's little use in being an invisible man when muffled sobs are drawing attention in your direction. He tried futilely to concentrate only on escaping. His mind cruelly played every instance of past abandonment. His parents. His Aunt. His brother's death. His girlfriends. And, now, Hobbes.
Keeping up the shield of Quicksilver he thought he was almost home free as he quickly approached the door at a dead run. Neither the "supplicants" nor Hobbes were on his trail. That was strange.
Had his eyes not been fogged with tears, he might have noticed the mist that had been rising from the floor near the entrance, but he would not have attached any sinister significance to its presence. As he leaped forward, he felt the clutch of an unknown force. His feet stopped, rooted in place and he almost toppled forward from the conflicting forces: his swift run verses the trap that caught him. The mist did its work and as it crawled up his body in waves, its wisps looked like talons engulfing him with licks of flame. Now he found himself petrified in mid-stride, the Quicksilver frozen over his body like a chrome coating.
In his state of suspended animation, his mind was slowed and his eyes were directed forward, but he soon sensed the collection of characters around him. Hobbes stood in front of him looking compassionate but still had the brainwashed grin on his face. He heard Arnaud's voice and saw the mad demi- god of Tak Ray gloating and thanking Am Wai for this "miracle", his arms outstretched showing off his golden robes.
"This man has attempted to defy the will of Am Wai" he boomed smugly. "He is now in his clutches and will suffer punishment for his pride. This is the fate of all who spurn the loving hand of the Great One. All praise be to Am Wai."
"All praise, Am Wai." echoed the followers, including Hobbes, to Darien's great dismay.
-------------------------------
Darien on Ice
Darien awoke, "thawed" in a cell in what he appeared to be the vast basement of the MummerSum facilities. Through the bars he could see the lowly supplicants going about the undertaking of mummification of the bodies of humans and animals. Pungent scents arose from the many large vats which bubbled and troubled the mysterious embalming fluids. Myrrh, Frankincense and Formaldehyde. Yum!
In another section Darien could see the various stages of the elaborate mummification process. A human body was on a large metal autopsy tray receiving its wrappings as the followers chanted at its sides. A dead cat was being bathed in lanolin. A Golden Retriever's corpse had just been brought in. All in all, a gruesome scene.
Remnants of wooden boxes and packing materials were strewn across the dirty floor of the Darien's dingy cell. His eyes involuntarily did a focusing trick into something spindly and purple weaving happily in and out of the debris. He leaped off the dirty cot where he had been laying and backed away from the sight of his tiny foe.
Outside his prison he saw the familiar form of Arnaud de Ferhn gloating over his prize. He was dressed in his MummerSum leader garb, making him look like an extra from an old Hercules flick.
"Da Rien means "It's Nothing" in French. Did you know that?" quipped Arnaud.
"Fun and educational! It's pronounced differently." Darien retorted.
"You must feel right at home in here." Arnaud said as he nodded toward the prison bars.
"Can't say I care for the view or the company."
"Like my new Quicksilver freezer trick? I developed that on my own, in my spare time."
"Earn While You Learn Institute must be so proud of you." Darien quipped.
"I guess I'm up for dissection and or 'milking' any day now."
"No." stated de Ferhn with a yawn.
"No?" Darien was surprised and relieved.
"I no longer need you or your gland. You're last year's model, Fawkes. Old news. I've developed many more powerful glands since I worked on yours. And, I have a whole cult full of willing lab subjects who think they're submitting to the will of Am Wai. They're actually excited about being implanted! They see invisibility as a miracle."
"You just spread joy and sunshine wherever you go!" cracked Darien.
"I was able to add mind control to the mix."
"Much more efficient than blackmail through addiction to Counter Agent." Darien stated with disdain.
"I think so. It's an elegant solution if I do say so myself. Pardon the pun."
"You just brim with wit."
"And, about that Counter Agent, is seems that it met with an unfortunate fate. Such a shame you'll have to rot in here and go insane." Arnaud continued to gloat.
Darien stiffened with that revelation.
"My partner." he attempted, "He's mind-controlled too? Does he have a gland?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?
"Enough of this fun. I'll check back on you to see just how much drool you can produce when you're in Quicksilver Madness! Ta Ta."
Darien struck at the bars with futile anger. Unless or until he could get out of here, he was helpless, and on the road to early senility.
"Euro-trash moron!" Darien muttered.
-----------------------
Risible Man
Later that day Darien saw his old partner approach the cell.
"Hi Hobbes."
"Hey, kid."
"Come to watch me drool?"
"I can see that anytime. I've come to get you out of here."
Darien looked deeply into Hobbes' eyes and saw a familiar soul. Palpable relief that spread over him in a wave of emotion that served as a salve for the pains of the preceding weeks.
"So, you've been play acting. Please say 'yes'"
"Yep. But, this mission is over. I've got enough dope on this place to blow it to the face on Mars. And, ya know what? I missed having your ass to kick!"
Darien stared at him but Hobbes continued.
"If you coulda seen the look on your face when I said I flushed my meds! That was priceless!" he laughed.
"Jesus Bobby! Do you know what I've been going through since you've been on this stupid assignment? I had no idea where you were, what you were doing or if you were lying dead in a ditch somewhere. I didn't even know if it was me that drove you away!" Darien burst out. The emotion from the last month could not be hidden.
Hobbes suddenly felt a rush of guilt. He had a job to do, and he was obeying orders to not inform Darien of what was going on. The ruse had to continue when he met Darien in the supply closet since he knew he was being observed closely. The time was not his to stop to consider exactly how much his absence would affect the younger agent, his friend. And, it never occurred to him that any one would even miss him all that bad.
"We can talk about it later, kid." was all he could say. "Let's go."
Hobbes unlocked the cell and just at the pair began to walk away from the cage, Darien buckled over in pain.
Hobbes immediately checked Darien's tattoo and found only a small amount of green at the end.
"Crap! When you were busy being a Popsicle on a stick, the Counter Agent you had with you was destroyed! I was right there when they did it, but I couldn't stop them!"
"Hobbes, there is a way." he groaned, his hand up to his throbbing skull.
"Claire told me about her latest discovery. It's this spider. It's this Purple thing or something. I've got to get it to bite me. I can't do that on my own!"
"Are you serious?"
"There are a bunch of them in the corner, under the papers. I can't even bring myself to get near them. I've been avoiding them for hours."
"Is it the Purple Nemesis?" Hobbes asked when he thought what it could be. "That thing's deadly!"
"Not to me. Its venom may work like Counter Agent."
"Then again, it may not. It may just kill you!"
"Hobbes! I don't have much time. I've got to get bitten.
"Help me." he implored.
"Stay here." Hobbes went to the corner of the cell where Darien had seen the spiders.
Darien cringed against a wall trying to hide from the zombie like followers of Am Wai, but they didn't seem to care about anything but their tasks. The anticipation of what he was about to do was causing his temperature to rise and beads of sweat were forming on his temple as he slumped down against the grey concrete wall, buckling both with fear and pain.
Hobbes returned from the cell with his leggy prize born gingerly on a piece of wood that had been broken off from a crate. He regarded Darien with compassion but was thinking about the best way to approach this problem.
"Fawkesy, here's what we're gonna do. Do you trust me?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"No. Give me your arm.
Fawkes reluctantly began to push his arm toward Hobbes.
"I.I can't!" Darien's panic rose in his chest as he pulled his arm against his chest.
Hobbes attempted to brace Darien long enough for the spider to bite him, but Darien's phobia was so primal it would have taken a tremendous force to restrain him. The precious spiders kept escaping.
Wait a minute!
"Fawkesy! Plan B. Wait here."
"Please, hurry." Darien begged as the early waves of Quicksilver poisoning coursed through him.
Hobbes returned within minutes with the mist emitter.
"This will work if you just Quicksilver one more time, but leave your arm visible."
"Oh god, I'm so close. OK. Are you ready? Where's the thing?"
"I'll worry about all that, now go for it. Put your arm out and you might want to look away."
As Fawkes spread the Quicksilver over his body while his hand was held over his eyes and he turned his head away from the spider's target. The mist served to fix him in place. It was now only a simple matter of placing the deadly spider on his arm. Angered by the disruption to its hermitage the creature began to nibble on Darien's limb. The bites were severely painful, and the venom burned and sizzled in his veins. Only the frozen Quicksilver kept Darien in place long enough for the deed to be done.
Hobbes removed the freezing mist and Darien began to return to normal. When he tried to stand, his knees buckled but his fall was prevented by Hobbes.
"Hang in there, kid! I got you!"
They checked Darien's Ouroboros; over three quarters green! It worked!
"OK kid. Let's go get that pizza." he said as he patted Darien's belly.
Relief cleansed them both. Darien was still shaky as he recovered from the abject fear. Hobbes held him up and helped him to walk. It felt good to have his arm around Bobby again.
Now it was a simple matter of leaving this shindig. Hobbes cover was not blown; the cult still thought he was a cattle-like convert. He could just grab the girl and walk out the door as if he were going to work in the vineyard. Fawkes could leave the way he entered now that Hobbes had disabled the mist emitters at the door. They just needed to retrieve the Chelsea Clinton wannabe, and vamoose.
"Good day, gentlemen." boomed Beauregard Valentine, the perfect picture of a perfect cult lieutenant. He had the senator's daughter in tow, her golden pooch on a little red wagon behind her. She appeared dazed and crumpled, but still smiling foolishly.
"Ah, crap!" groaned Darien.
"Relax kid! He's one of the good guys."
"Of course I am." stated Valentine with a smirk.
"Hobbes." started Darien.
"Now that we got the girl, we can move." Hobbes was looking at Darien.
"Hobbes."
"What?"
"He's got a gun."
__________________
The Old Razzle Dazzle
"And, he's pointing it at us." Hobbes realized aloud.
"You thought this guy was with us?" Darien asked with genuine surprise.
"Yeah! I did!"
"Nah huh! You? Mr. Instincts, taken in by this dope? I don't believe what I'm hearing."
Hobbes was getting annoyed. "He was supposed to be the point man on this project. He checked out! He has a perfect record."
"Hobbes you're such a sucker! You've been had!" Darien couldn't resist rubbing it in. "If you could see the look on YOUR face right now! Oh this is rich!" Darien clapped.
"Oh, and what about you! 'I'm seeking the path of truth. I threw out my meds.' he said mocking his own words and shaking his hands in the air. "'Why don't you come with me and we can skip around all day and strew rose petals?' You fell for my line of bull!"
"No I didn't!" Darien lied.
The razzle dazzle was in play. As they bantered, they began to separate and inch apart in opposite directions dividing Valentine's attention.
"Oh, yes you did! I saw the look in your eye! I had you going big time!" insisted Hobbes.
"You just didn't know that I was playing along!" stated
"Give me a break! You thought 'Bobby Hobbes is such a big loser and now he's in a cult'. You really thought I'd turn into a leaflet pedaling mummy maker with no attention span!"
"Enough!" screeched Valentine. "You two can elope at the Elvis Chapel later; you bicker like you're married!"
"Hey, Bobby!" Darien said to his partner. "That wasn't bad at all! Nice imagery! Elvis Chapel. I gotta use that one."
"Yeah. You see how he can fit in when he wants to."
Valentine didn't know which way to aim his gun and he sensed he was losing control. Darien Quicksilvered and rushed the super agent, knocking the gun out of his hand. The maneuver was punctuated by the explosion of the weapon. The bullet ricocheted off into the work room, plugging a heated vat. Through the hole a forceful column of steam spewed out into the room, shorting some of the electrical works that lined the high walls. Sparks sputtered and fell to the ground in a brief display, like a firework.
Valentine lunged toward Hobbes, grabbed him and using the skills he had acquired in Tibet, he levitated them both into the main hall of the winery/morgue.
------------------------------
The Hook Brings You Back
"Come out and play Fawkes." taunted Valentine.
Darien remained cloaked and clambered up a scaffold-like structure on the side of the vast basement. He found the controls to the crane that was used for moving vats and other heavy objects. But, he couldn't risk hurting Hobbes.
"Bobby, get outta there!" he hollered, giving away his location to Valentine, who looked in his direction.
Hobbes stocky legs were dangling with force, making Valentine's flight as difficult as he could. He knew he had to break away before they climbed too high or otherwise risk injury. 12 feet. 15 feet into the air. Higher still, they flew above the steaming vats of liquids that left dewy droplets on their bodies.
"I know exactly where you are, Fawkes!" He eyed the crane control area. "You've got to be the most transparent Invisible Man I've ever met!" he cawed.
The followers were confused by the entire display, unsure of exactly what to do without someone actually telling them exactly what to do.
"I've got your little friend, Fawkes." Valentine badgered.
"Who are you calling 'little', Buster Brown?" Hobbes said as he futilely grappled in mid-air with his captor.
Valentine had studied marshal arts with the best of them. He held Black Belts in Tae Kwon Do, Jujutsu, Akido and was well versed in every form of European and American Wrestling and Boxing. He locked Hobbes into a masterly vice grip which could not be broken with Marcus of Queensbury rules. Fortunately Hobbes was from Brooklyn. There ain't too many Queensbury pansies in Brooklyn. His street fighting skills took over as he clamped his teeth down on Valentine's forearm bursting his skin and causing the double agent to squeal with startled agony and unhinge his Kung Fu grip.
Darien then grabbed the controls for the over-sized crane, causing the 400 pound hook on the giant chain to gain momentum. It whaled into the floating Valentine. Its mass smashed his form into electrical panels on the upper walls. His robes caught on fire as he writhed with electrical shocks. In mid-air Valentine burst into flames and screamed in agony as he levitated away.
"Great!" Darien quipped aloud. "Just what this brave New Age needs: A flying flaming asshole."
---------------
Up in Smoke! Down in Flames!
The air sizzled and more sparks flew catching some mummy wrappings. A pile of cardboard boxes along the wall erupted in flames sending acrid smoke into the mix.
Meanwhile, Hobbes' fall had been broken by a vat of fresh squishy grapes. The force of his fall caused the king-size container to tumble over, spilling him and the delicious contents onto the floor. The gas burner was extinguished and the vat toppled over onto the next causing every metal vat in the basement to tumble over like giant steel dominoes. Hobbes leaped from the sticky goo and ran from harm's way. The liquids spilled in all directions, flooding the basement with a rancid cocktail. The distinct scent of natural gas was combining with the odors of grapes and embalming fluids.
A cacophony of alarms smashed through the sounds of escaping steam and bubbling chemicals. Pipes had burst all around, and electrical currents were dangerously close to making the entire basement of the pyramid a tomb for its occupants.
The followers of Am Wai were rushing in all direction like frightened and confused sheep. Some of them simply stood in place, listlessly confused.
"Get out of here! You're all in danger!" A very purple splotched Hobbes was yelling at the dazed MummerSummies to evacuate.
Darien and Hobbes could see de Ferhn, Stark and Tak Ray on a landing above the fray. Le Ferhn was operating a control and Stark was barking orders at him.
"No, to the right! Let me do it!" Stark growled.
"Leave off, will you! I've got it under control." retorted a most annoyed de Ferhn.
Fawkes had descended from his own roost at the crane control and was running toward Hobbes. Before he shed the Quicksilver he could see a small army of invisible "Egyptians" doing the mummy walk toward the unsuspecting Hobbes.
Darien allowed his eyes to remain Quicksilvered. Hobbes was in trouble so he shouted out the location of his foes.
"Hobbes! Look out! Invisible Zombies at 6 O'Clock!" he yelled.
"I did not just said that." he muttered to himself.
Hobbes keen senses saved him. He knew exactly the source of his problems. He had retrieved the gun and managed to shoot the control out of de Ferhn's hands. With satisfaction he saw it tumble two stories to the floor and smash into pieces. The ersatz zombies stopped in confusion and began to reappear as they came out of the spell cast upon them by their glands and the control device.
Defeated, the Chrysalis twins knew it was time to run. Their mini-army foiled by the disabled mind control machine, they scrambled along the scaffolding on the side of the warehouse and vanished through an exit, avoiding flying sparks as they left.
Tak Ray had stood his ground and was preaching through a megaphone that it was all OK. "Am Wai will protect you from those who besmirch the truth. Kill these infidels! All is well! Stay here and serve the will of Am Wai!"
But with the mind control device gone, his followers' self preservation instincts finally took over and they were ignoring his entreaties, exiting the basement in a quick hurry. They scattered in all directions as a grape- stained Hobbes continued yelling at them to evacuate. This time, they were listening.
Chemicals and flame were heading toward a storage area. Hobbes realized with horror what he was seeing.
"We gotta get outta here, kid." Hobbes yelled over the sounds of escaping steam and stampeding religious zealots.
"Oh yeah? What was your first clue?" Darien shouted in return.
"These idiots have been amassing a small arsenal and they're storing it down here!" he hollered at Darien above the din of alarms, the crackle of sparks and pomposity of sermons. "That's one of the things they're do here! They were planning an assault on key Government installations. This place is gonna blow! Let's go get that silly kid and get the hell outta here NOW!"
--------------
Pickled Poodle of Fate or The Maltese Mutt
The Senator's daughter was cowering in a corner clutching her metallic mutt and sobbing. Hobbes and Darien each tried to take an arm, but the girl went into violent hysterics. She would not leave the petrified poodle behind for love or money.
"C'mon girly girl! We're leaving!" ordered Hobbes.
"Noooo!" she screeched. "My Tiffany Bobbles! I can't leave my Tiffany Bobbles!"
"It's always something!" whined Fawkes.
Both men looked at each other like ironic bookends and rolled their eyes.
There was no way to get the wagon through the flood and up the scaffolding stairs and all other exits were blocked. Without a word, the partners knew exactly what to do. Reluctantly they each grappled with an end of the heavy dog, and where it went the crazed damsel followed.
"Where are you taking my Tiffany Bobbles?" She sobbed but followed as they had hoped. "I want my Tiffany Bobbles."
-----------------------------
Into the Sunset
The trio.sorry, the FOUR of them managed to clear out of the pyramid before the grand explosion shook the earth. They planted Tiffany Bobbles in the back of the van along with the distraught girl and drove off into the liquid sky of an orange and blue dusky sunset.
Fawkes watched in the rear view mirror the specter of the ruins of the MummerSum temple diminished into the horizon. Great billowing clouds of black smoke rose from the remains of its flaming frame.
"This should make the 11 O'Clock News. Wish I could see the 'Fish's face. He'll KNOW it was us!" commented Darien.
"Oh yeah. You got that right."
It felt good to ride in Golda again; she'd gone with Hobbes. And, it felt really good to look over and see Hobbes at his side. Even in with his purple blotches and tattered tunic, he was a beautiful sight to behold!
"You know, from now on, I'm just not going to call it a 'successful mission' unless we've left a large crater in the earth." cracked Darien.
Hobbes was laughing. "We know how ta have a good time, don't we, kid?"
"That's O for 2. I wonder how much trouble we'll be in this time." Darien moaned.
"Get the girl. Check! Infiltrate, Check! Investigate and Disrupt, Check and Check! We fulfilled the mission." Hobbes said, counting off the checks on his fingers. "And, how angry can the Fat Man be if he's got a happy Presidential candidate on his hands?"
"The rental car is back there!" stated Darien.
"Whew! I guess that'll set you back a few bucks." Hobbes said.
"No, not really."
"You got the insurance?"
"Nah. I used your credit card." Darien stated matter of fact.
"How did you get. Fawkes! You sticky fingered sonnofa. You stole my credit card! Why I oughta."
Hobbes stopped.
"Aren't you angry?" asked Darien sheepishly.
"Nah!"
"Nah?"
"Nah"
He paused.
"It was an Agency card."
Darien reached out and gave Hobbes a playful punch on his arm.
-----------------------------
Film at 11
"This was the scene today at the MummerSum temple in East Lansing Utah. The pyramid structure served as the headquarters for this new age religious sect.
Like the Ancient Egyptians this group believed that mummification was the true method of attaining eternal life.
Their doctrines of love and peace belied the vast arsenal of weapons and chemical explosives which were stockpiled at their headquarters here in East Lansing, Utah. The purpose of these explosives are unknown at this time, however some former members of the cult have come forward with reports of terrorist plots within the United States and Canada.
MummerSum was led by former Used Car Dealer Gerald Pinkerton. He used the name Tak Ray and claimed to be channeling the will of the god, Am Wai.
Investigators were at the scene and more details will be released as they are revealed.
This is Jessica Norge, reporting live from the scene of the MummerSum temple in East Lansing, Utah."
-----------------
Bobby and Darien took a moment for a high five and pointed at each other arguing about who be da man.
"You da man!"
"No, you da man!"
"No, you da man!" and so forth.
The pair were leaning back to back in front of Darien's TV.
"You know Fawkes, before I met you my life was dull."
Fawkes took another swig of root beer.
"Hobbes. You planning to stick around?"
"Yeah, I can stick around. I ain't got no plans. You wanna see a movie?" he asked casually nibbling on the last of a soft pretzel.
Darien thought for a moment.
"You playing with me?
"What? Oh. No, kid! I'm not." as he realized what Darien was really asking; some reassurance.
"Look, I'm sorry." he continued. "I was under some pretty strict orders. No uncertain terms. So, I did what I had to do. Some days you're just gonna have to deal with that, my friend.
"The way I see it, it wasn't really necessary to exclude you. The Official wanted to keep you as a trump card. I don't get all of his reasons. And don't you think for one minute that he bothered letting me in on why he insisted it be that way."
"Yeah. Blame the Official."
Fawkes remained pensive.
"The whole office? Claire told me some of it."
"What? Oh, no. She's exaggerating based on what Eberts must have told her. It was only part of the office, the desk and Eberts' legs."
"I'm touched!" Hobbes said sincerely.
"You got that right!" Darien said, making the "coo coo" sign with as he pointed his index finger to his head.
"No seriously! No one's ever cared enough to disappear half an office because I'm off somewhere. Just wish I could have seen that!"
Darien grinned. "Eberts looked like he was about to die on the spot!"
"Now see, that's what I'm talking about partner! Do you think I could ever leave that kind of thing behind? What, and quit spy biz?"
Darien turned away, and sighed deeply, still back to back with Hobbes. The emotional side stepping was wearing on him, but he realized that it was Hobbes he was talking to and the guy's guy was not about to get all mushy on him and promise to stay in his life forever.
In reality, that may just not happen and yeah, Darien would have to grow up and deal with it, no matter how much it hurt. Darien was still feeling the effects of the last few weeks, even though for all intents and purposes Hobbes was back.
Then Hobbes pulled something that took him completely by surprise. The older man turned around and gathered Darien in his arms giving him the best hug he'd ever had in his life. Surprised at first Darien quickly hugged him back with great feeling, a couple tears of relief falling to the older man's shoulder.
"That's enough of that, kid." he said as he released the hold and patted Darien on the shoulder. "Let's go to that movie!" But he was hiding his own dampened eyes.
