Author - Of course I don't own Vince or Howard or anything else that belongs to Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt. Oh how I wish I did though!

This is my first ever Boosh fic so I hope it's not that bad! Rate T for naughty language and naughty scenes later on in the fic. On with the show!


I flung a pillow at my alarm clock as it rang out through my bedroom.

"Alice!", shouted my flat mates in unison.

"I know!", I shouted back and turned the stupid thing down.

I stretched and let out a long sign before sitting on the edge of my bed for a few seconds listening to the radio station,

' - and rain expecting to fall later this afternoon with some possibilities of snow, back to you Chris'
'It's another miserable day, it's freezing cold and most of us don't wanna go to work so here's a song for all you people who just hate Monday'.

I shook my ruffled hair as 'I Don't Like Mondays' seeped through the tiny speakers and I smiled a little as I made my way to my wardrobe.

' Tell me why, I don't like Mondaaays...'

Jeans, Rolling Stones T-Shirt and my favourite pair of red Converse. Slap on some eyeliner, put a bit of eye shadow on, shove my hair into a quick pony tail and I was ready for whatever today could throw at me.
I turned off my radio and went down the hall into the kitchen/living room.

"Alright Becky?", I asked the ball of pink fluff on the sofa. It groaned in reply and shuffled a bit, a sudden wild splash of blonde hair appearing out of the top. Becky's make-up was caked all over the place, mascara smudged under her eyes and lip stick half way across her face.

" Bloody hell, you look like shit!", I laughed.
She gave me one of her say-anything-else-and-you-die looks as she tried to flatten down her overgrown hair but it did it no justice.

I'd been living with Becky Thomas and her boyfriend Jeff Richards for 8 months now along with my uni mate Terry Daniels. It was a small 3 bed-roomed flat in the middle of Camden Town, the 'heart and soul of London' as Terry once called it, and a ten minute walk from the market. What else could you need?

I grabbed my keys from a hook on the wall and flung on my parker that was hanging on the back of the front door in the tiny hallway.

"Becky, can you tell Terry to actually get out of bed and get to work on time today cos I don't want another bollocking by my boss!", I called back before shutting the door and making my way down the stairs and into the freezing cold London daylight.

Even though it felt like minus 60 Camden Market was still in full swing. People bustling around and walking faster to try and keep warm, salesman at the stalls holding plastic cups of tea and coffee whilst they waited for the next punter to come along and buy their goods. The punks and goths still wore short skirts and tiny leather jackets despite the cold weather. To them all that mattered was fashion so why should they care if they slowly turned into a giant block of ice? At least they would look good doing it.
I was making my way across the Camden Lock bridge when suddenly some silly twat walked straight into me and almost spilled the cup of tea I'd just bought.

"Watch where ya' goin'!", I yelled at her as she held us both to keep steady.

"You alright? I didn't see ya' there", she exclaimed.
I wiped my parker down with my spare hand and looked up at the woman to make sure she had no tea splashed on her but I suddenly stopped when my eyes drifted to her face.
It wasn't a woman at all, sure 'she' was wearing eyeliner and a bit of eyeshadow, even lip gloss, but it sure as hell wasn't a woman. His long hair was raven black and straightened, a white stetson sat proudly upon it. He was wearing a skinny t-shirt with a purple robot and a yellow lightning bolt just visible behind his studded leather jacket. My eyes fell down to his tightly covered drainpiped legs and further down to his white cowboy booted feet and then back up to his electric blue eyes.

"I am so sorry", he tried again, "I really didn't see you".

"It's no problem", I smiled, "No damage done".

He extended his hand, "Vince Noir, rock and roll star!".

"Alice Smith", I said taking his hand and shaking it politely.

"Listen, I've gotta catch the train back to work, Howard'll kill me if I'm not there when he opens up".

"Oh I've gotta get to work as well", I explained, "Boss'll fire me if I'm late again".

He laughed and shook my hand again, "Hope to see you again Alice".

"You too Vince", and he left, blending into the crowd of shoppers.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Leaning on the counter, bored out of my mind, writing things in the calculator and fiddling with the badges on display was a usual Monday morning at Virgin Megastores. There were hardly any customers in and my fellow shopkeeper, Johnny Turner, was playing one of his shitty cd's that was blaring out of the overhead speakers so not only was I bored with nothing to do but now I had to put up with Eminem's ' Toy Soldiers '.

"Alright?"

I breathed a sigh of relief as Terry kicked his stuff under the counter and flopped down next to me.

"Oh thank god your here! I though' I was gunna have to kill him".
He grinned and flicked a stray bit of black and red hair out of his face.

"So...", I asked.

"So what?"

I gave him a sly grin, "The other night!".

He blushed to the colour of a beetroot and tried to hide his grin behind his black and white scarf.
We'd all gone out together at the weekend to a club called Heaven. One of London's infamous gay clubs. There's nothing wrong with my sexuality or anything but you haven't lived until you've gone to a gay nightclub. The music was amazing and the blokes were great dancers. I'd managed to persuaded Terry to talk to a gorgeous looking tanned bloke that he'd been ogling all night before I had to go home early cos, you know, 'I had work in the morning'.

"You got with him!", I smiled and hugged him.

Suddenly the music changed from Eminem to some crappy bloke speaking so fast he might as well of been humming.
I groaned and thumped my head on the counter,"For fuck sake!".
Terry laughed and cuddled me. "Don't worry pumpkin, Just think after he's gone it'll be our turn!", and he threw his head back letting out an over dramatic laugh.

I just burst out laughing and hit him playfully.

' Alice, could you sort out the horror dvds for me, please?', rang out the speakers.
I rolled my eyes and quickly jumped over the counter before my boss could see me.

Two hours and 5 sorted sections later I was back behind the desk again, still bored but at least this time the music was good with 'Ziggy Stardust' playing in the background thanks to Terry.
The place wasn't quite packed but more people had come in, me and Terry suspected that it was only because it had started snowing outside plus the fact that no one was actually buying anything.

"You fancy coming out tonight?", he asked as he flicked through his cd collection.

"Weekend not enough for ya' like?"

"There's this club in Hackney my mate told me about, The Velvet Onion, supposed to be brilliant".

I rubbed my eyes and yawned, "I dunno Tez, I'm not really up to it".

As soon as the words left my mouth he was pouting and the puppy dog eyes were set to extra sad.

He knew me all too well, "Fine!".

He jumped up and down, clapping his hands, "Fank youuuuu!"

"I'll see you at the tube at eight but I'm comin' home at ten", I said pointing at him and giving him a stern look to make sure he was listening.
He gave me a military salute and I went back to flicking the badges.


A/N. Bit of a rubbish chapter but believe me it will get better! I hope you liked it and remember that reviews are love!