"Welcome to Dating in the Dark," said Rossi, the show's host, to the group of men. "Here in this mansion you'll meet three single women and vie for their love all without being able to see them."

One of the men started hollering and tried high fiving the others, but to little avail.

The screen flipped to the three women sitting on their couch, with Rossi explaining the show to them. "Just on the other side of this mansion are three men, all vying for your love."

The women giddily screamed amongst themselves.

"Let's get to it," Rossi said.

The camera showed a grainy, black-and-green image of the sparsely decorated room. The men stumbled through the door, the trailing two men with their hands on the shoulders of the man in front of them. After a few moments of extremely slow walking, they found the table and chairs and sat down quietly, waiting for the women.

The women also bumbled through the door, but hand-in-hand, laughing as the leader ran right into the decorative tree standing next to the table, crashing it down on top of one of the men's heads, making him yelp from the darkness. "Aaah.. that really hurt!" the man exclaimed.

"Sorry!" the lead woman responded, finally finding the table and all of them taking an awkward seat. "So who did I hit over there?"

"I'm Jasper," he said softly laughing through his hidden grin.

"I'm Edward," the man next to him said in a soft-but-almost-grumbling voice.

"And my name's Emmett," the man on the other end boomed. "What are you ladies' names?"

Across from Emmett a sultry voice emitted from the darkness, "I'm Rosalie."

"I'm Bella," the next voice rang.

"And I'm Alice," said the voice across from Jasper.

After exchanging niceties, it was fairly obvious who were the natural couples. There seemed to be a deep connection between Jasper and Alice. Rosalie and Emmett had an intense connection. And Edward and Bella were almost passionate in the way they listened to each other's breath between the other couples' conversations. While the others immediately held hands, Bella and Edward were busy ever-so-slightly playing footsie underneath the table. As far as Bella and Edward were concerned, there was plenty of conversation taking place both above and under the table.

When the initial five minute meeting was over, the women were the first to leave. As Bella swept her chair back from the table, she made sure to raise her foot so that it brushed the inside of Edward's thighs. She felt him twinge from the tingle of her toes running up his groin. His breathing changed, almost stopping, a bad attempt at not moaning at the prospect of what may happen on their first date.

The first date pairings were no surprise. Rosalie and Emmet went on their first date, and from all indications it must have gone great. Rosalie talked about how hunky Emmett's body felt on hers, and Emmett told the guys how big her tits were. She was lucky not to have been impaled on Emmett's rather large, well, ego.

Alice and Jasper's date went equally well, although a different direction than Emmett and Rosalie's. Alice and Jasper had a deep conversation about their pasts, how they imagined their futures, and their feelings. Their connection was felt on a much deeper level than Emmett and Rosalie's. Both said few words to the others when coming back from their dates, but the others knew perfectly well through their facial expressions how great it must have gone.

Then it was Bella and Edward's turn. Edward came into the room first, feeling his way around the wall, and eventually running into the same tree Alice knocked into Jasper. As Edward was busy picking up the tree, Bella also came into the room. Her sweet smell filled the room, and Edward was immediately in front of her, taking her hand and leading her to the rather large bean bag chair. Edward tried to graciously let her sit down first, but she insisted on sitting partially on his lap.

After four minutes of just holding each other in the silence, Bella whispered, "Why am I so comfortable with you already?"

Edward took a moment to think. "I don't know, but I feel the same way."

They continued to sit in the darkness, listening to each other's breaths, never once copping a feel like Emmett and Rosalie did, nor did they talk about the past or future like Alice and Jasper. They were simply content resting in the protection and comfort of each other's arms. When their date ended, Bella turned her head to Edward's cheek and gave him an ever-so-slight kiss before leading herself out the door while Edward remained in their chair.

Upon going back to the living rooms in which the other houseguests were staying, they said few words. Of course Emmett's first question to Edward was, "So how big are her cans?"

"I don't know," responded Edward. "Didn't really get that far."

Bella was similarly reluctant to divulge her experience with Edward.

"So what's he like?" Rosalie said with enthusiasm.

"He's a beautiful person," Bella replied.

"Is he big? Strong?" Alice asked.

"I don't know," she responded.

The group of girls left it at that.

The next day Rossi came into each room and gave them something much-wanted: access to the other sexes' luggage. Finally some insight into who these men and women truly were.

The men's luggage was neatly laid out on one of the girls' beds. All of the men's bags were very similar: black, medium sized, and a lot of zippers.

"This one's is… Jasper's!" Alice exclaimed. She rummaged through his luggage as quickly as possible, finding very little worthy of noting, with the exception of the fact that apparently he wore tighty-whities, but of many different colors.

With Jasper's clothes now strewn about the bed, the girls moved on to the next bag. "Oh, this must be Emmett's!" Rosalie said as she picked up a white muscle shirt. Most of the shirts were trendy, preppy ones, some of which were very tight muscle shirts. Only one pair of bleached blue jeans; otherwise, the rest looked more like swimming trunks than actual shorts.

"Bella, this one's for you," Alice said with a giddy smile while looking towards the third suitcase.

Bella began looking through the neatly packed luggage.

"He seems kind of.. plain," Rosalie said as she looked at the shirt Bella was holding up. It was plain, white, like any tee you might find at Wal-Mart.

"I don't mind," Bella said. "Maybe he just doesn't put worth into superficial stuff like other people do."

The other girls looked at each other with a slightly shocked face that she would be so forthcoming with dissing them and their newfound men. But nonetheless they kept their feelings largely inside and were still happy that they found wonderful men that complemented them well, and so did Bella.

The men also got a chance to look through the women's belongings. The women's bags were all very different: one was pink with a hippy-like flower design all over it. Another one was light blue with more of a cloudy design. And then there was a bright red bag that was otherwise plain.

"Where's Edward?" Jasper asked?

"Not sure.. he's been gone for a while now. Figured he was jacking off in the bathroom or something," Emmett responded. Just as his comment ended, Edward appeared through the doors to the room.

"Sorry, guys," Edward said, looking sheepish. "Let's see what's in the bags."

Emmett started going through the extremely expensive-looking bag, knowing it must have been Rosalie's. He picked up a pair of thong underwear and started hollering. Jasper and Edward looked at each other wide-eyed.

The pink bag was Alice's. Jasper very delicately picked up her clothes, looking at them intently, not saying anything. Emmett picked up one of her bras and Jasper hit it back out of Emmett's hands. "Sorry, dude," Emmett said. "Not a whole lot there to work with, huh?"

Jasper ignored him.

The bright red bag stared Edward in the face. "I don't think I even really want to look in it," Edward said to the other men. "I mean, I already feel like I know her."

"Yeah, well, this is part of the game," Emmett said as he unzipped the bag. "Plus, it's fun."

Bella's clothes were about as preppy as Emmett's, except maybe not as tight as his, oddly enough. Emmett peered over Edward's shoulder as he picked through her luggage gently. "Any thongs?" Emmett asked.

"Yes. And, no, I won't hold them up for you," Edward replied.

After each person's bag was picked through, they were returned to their rightful owners. It was now time for a second date. While the couples seemed obvious, Emmett went ahead and chose Alice for his date, while Rosalie chose him, Alice and Jasper chose each other, and Edward and Bella chose each other.

"You did what?" Jasper asked Emmett.

"I chose Alice. I figure I'm here to get the best chick, so I'm going to see if she's any good," he said with a smile.

Jasper, though disappointed, knew Alice was the one for him, and so trusted she wouldn't do anything with him. It was with trusting Emmett that he had a problem.

Upon Emmett's return, Jasper was noticeably agitated. The huge grin on Emmett's face didn't help any, either.

"Don't worry, chump," Emmett said to Jasper as he passed him in the kitchen. "She's about as prude as a nun. Plus, like I said, there's little to work with."

Jasper just shook his head.

After her date with Emmett, Alice blasted back through the door to the women's part of the house. "That asshat," she said.

"What happened?" Rosalie asked, wanting to know if she needed to beat her up for dissing her man.

"He kept pressing himself on me trying to cop a feel of my boobs," Alice responded. "Don't worry.. I didn't want him in the first place, and I really don't want him now."

Fortunately for Alice, it was now time for her date with Jasper. While she was still aggravated at Emmett's behavior, thinking of Jasper made all of her worries disappear.

When she returned to the women's part of the mansion, her face was red from blushing so much.

"Ooooh, it looks like someone had a good time," Rosalie said with a smile.

"Yeah," Alice said, still glowing. "It was amazing. He's a great kisser."

Jasper also came back from his date with Alice with a smile on his face.

" What happened, big boy?" Emmett asked.

"Nothing," he said with a very slight grin. "Had a good time. We kissed. It was nice."

"Just nice? Wow.. that's.. great, man," Emmett replied with a half smile and full sarcasm. "Well, boys, I have to get on with my date with Rosalie."

When Emmett returned, it was fairly obvious he had already forgotten about the misstep with Bella. With a grin so large his cheeks almost reached his ears, he blurted out "Second base, baby!" as soon as he entered through the doors. Edward and Jasper looked at each other wide-eyed but said nothing. "Oh, it was awesome," Emmett said as he squeezed his own pecs.

Meanwhile, Rosalie's reaction was much more reserved. Well, compared to his. Her smile, also almost reaching her ears, was complemented by bright red cheeks.

"How was it, how was it, how was it?" Alice asked, jumping off the couch.

"Awesome. He's really sweet," Rosalie replied. "And good with his hands."

Alice jumped up to give Rosalie a hug while Bella sat there in confusion over why Alice was so damn happy despite being humiliated by Emmett not even an hour ago. Nonetheless, when Rosalie peered over Alice's shoulder and smiled, Bella tried her best to give her a fake grin.

With the two girls firmly in the middle of conversation about Emmett's newfound talent, Bella stepped out of the room to her date with Edward.

Bella sat in the dark room by herself for at least 10 minutes waiting for Edward. When he finally entered the room, she could smell small drops of sweet sweat on his back. "Bella, are you here?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, I'm here, "she replied. "Where were you?"

"Just a bit late, I guess. They didn't tell me you were waiting," Edward responded while sitting down next to Bella, who had already forgotten about the sweat.

"I wish I could see you," Bella said, running her fingers through his hair, gently twisting the ends between her fingers.

"Why's that?" he said through a small-but-obvious smile.

"So I'd know I wouldn't miss your lips when we kiss," she replied.

Edward reached his hand towards Bella, gently grasping the side of her neck, the tips of his fingers in her long, brown hair, and pulled her face towards his. As their lips met, a rush of cold came over Bella, making her bottom lip shake. Edward slightly parted his, taking a bit of her lip between his teeth and then smiled. Bella's cold shiver quickly turned into warm blushing.

After Edward let go of her lip, they sat in each other's arms for the remainder of the date.

When Bella returned to the room, the girls were somehow still talking about Rosalie's escapade with Emmett. They largely ignored Bella despite the slight red marks on her neck from Edward's hand.

Edward's return was similar to Bella's, as Emmett was still busy talking about feeling up Rosalie despite Jasper's obvious disinterest.

Before long, Rossi entered each group's room to set-up the final bonus. "We had a panel of relationship experts and psychologists analyze your wants, needs, preferences, and how your dates have gone so far, and have come up with the likelihood of your personalities matching," Rossi explained.

The men gathered around the TV awaiting their matches. Up first was Jasper and Alice. The screen flashed "97%."

The women were crowded around their TV, too. Next up was Rosalie and Emmett. While the TV showed "95%" Rosalie and Alice hugged and giggled.

Then up came Edward's and Bella's names together. "100%," the screen displayed. All of the contestants' mouths dropped in amazement. "That's awesome, Bella!" Alice exclaimed.

The boys similarly high-fived Edward as he sunk back into the couch laughing over the excitement.

It was finally time for each couple to go on their third date. Fortunately Emmett chose Rosalie and not Alice, Alice chose Jasper, and unsurprisingly Bella and Edward would meet in the dark once again.

As this was the third and final date, each man was to do something special for the woman. While Jasper read memorized romantic poetry to Alice, Emmett brought strawberries and chocolate for Rosalie. Both girls raved about their guys upon returning to the room, while Emmett was the only one bragging about what else they had done with the chocolate.

When Bella entered the door, she was overcome with the smell of sweet strawberries and chocolate syrup. "Wow," she said while making her way to the couch. "I guess they were having fun in here."

"No, I brought strawberries and chocolate," Edward said from the darkness.

Bella was surprised. "Wait.. isn't that what Emmett and Rosalie did?"

"Yeah," Edward responded, helping Bella sit down next to him. "He stole half of my fucking strawberries and my syrup. We're lucky there's any chocolate left."

"That's alright," Bella said. "I'm just glad to be here with you."

Bella and Edward sat in the darkness licking the chocolate covering the oversized strawberries, but neither could get the courage to start pouring chocolate over themselves and licking it off like Emmett and Rosalie obviously had. Not to mention the fact that they had done so using the same bottle slightly disgusted both of them.

To end the date, Edward dipped a strawberry into the chocolate and held it so that each of them would take an equal bite at the same time, their lips meeting in the middle. A touch of chocolate dripped on to Edward's finger, and he touched it to Bella's lips and they kissed again. "I'll see you soon," he said with a smile before leaving the room. Bella was in love.

A few hours later, Edward returned to the boy's room. "What the hell happened, man?" Emmett said. "You were in there forever. You guys fuck in there or what?"

"Ha, no," Edward simply replied.

"You sure are sweaty," Jasper spoke up.

"No, she and I had a good time," Edward said. "But afterwards I needed some fresh air, so I spent some time out there by myself. It's kind of hot outside."

As soon as Edward finished his sentence, a slightly sweaty Rossi also entered the room. "Okay, boys, it's time for the reveal. Emmett, you and Rosalie are first."

"Alright, boys, here we go!" Emmett said to the guys.

When Emmett got to the room, Rosalie was already in her spot. After a few moments of silence, the light appeared over Rosalie. Emmett emphatically-yet-quietly fist pumped and gave an even bigger grin than before. After all, he was slightly worried he might have just gotten kinky with an ogre. This was sweet validation.

Just as Rosalie's light went off, Emmett's came on. Rosalie gave a much less enthusiastic, but certainly more genuine smile towards Emmett. She told the girls he was hunky-looking and had a great body.

Next in line to reveal themselves was Alice and Jasper. With both of them standing just mere feet away, both were ready to finally see each other. Jasper's light came on first, and he gave a timid smile towards the darkness. Alice smiled back, albeit while hidden; she thought he looked sweet and adorable.

Once Jasper's light went off, Alice's came on. She gave her best perky smile, and his smile got much bigger. He was surprised by just how pretty she really was.

Then it was time for Bella and Edward to reveal themselves. Both stood motionless in anticipation of finally being able to see each other. Edward's light came on first, and Bella's face immediately flushed red. Edward was tall, lean, handsome, and had an adorable smile. And his hair was just as she imagined it. She couldn't wait to finally hug him.

As Edward's light went off, Bella's came on, exposing her blushing, embarrassing her a bit and making her even redder. Edward smiled at her reaction, and thought she was absolutely beautiful. Then her light went off and they both returned to the room.

At the end of the show it was time for each contestant to make the decision on whether or not to see the person he or she would like to be with. Rosalie stood outside on the balcony anxiously waiting to see if Emmett would come through the balcony door or if he would come out the front door and walk with his luggage down the driveway and back to his real life without her. She could barely stand the anticipation.

Just then a small rumble came from behind her; it was Emmett turning the door handle, and as he came through the door she shot to him and jumped in his arms, kissing him. He carried her down the steps and out the front door into the Bentley and off into the sunset.

Once they left, it was turn to see if the attraction between Jasper and Alice was meant to be. Jasper stood on the balcony where Rosalie had just been and was intently watching the front door, hoping Alice wouldn't leave. He thought the dates had all gone extremely well and he knew he was ready to be in a committed relationship with her.

While he was busy contemplating the future, Alice opened the door quietly and snuck up behind him, putting her hand around his arm and spinning him around, planting a huge kiss on his cheek. They exchanged smiles, took each other's hands, and took a seat in a second Bentley, riding off into paradise.

Lastly, it was time to see if Edward and Bella had truly made a connection in their dates. Bella stood outside on the balcony, slightly chilly from the sun starting to go down over the nearby hills. She stood staring at the balcony door, knowing Edward was to open it any second.

She heard the crack of a door, but it wasn't from the balcony. She looked down towards the front door next to the polished Bentley, and Rossi, the show's host, came out through the door, holding it open. Edward came through the door, kissed Rossi on the lips, and both excitedly got in the car, but not before Rossi could plant a smack on Edward's ass.

So Bella went home and fucked Billy Black instead.