Author's Note: Basically I thought over the concept of literal nightmare fuel and thought that a 'fuel' (liquid substance) capable of inducing bleak depression would be a lot more terrifying. Especially to the people unaffected who have to watch the fallout.


"Tony, get down from there. This isn't you," she pleaded, her voice rising to a dangerously high pitch. "The chemicals that guy in white was using are making you like this. You don't-"

"Quit trying to tell me what I feel," Tony said, remarkably detached for someone standing on the edge of a twelve story building. His voice wasn't calm, but resigned. Like he fully accepted on every level what he was contemplating doing. The others hit by the mixture hadn't been like this. They'd been hysterical. But Tony wouldn't do this. It had to be the 'fuel', that had to be it. "I'm so tired of people telling me what I should be doing."

"Okay, I'm sorry." She stepped closer, and when he didn't back up she held her ground. Her heart was twisting in her chest. "Tony, we can talk about this. You don't have to do this." Her knees were shaking.

The wind ruffled his hair, his suit and jacket. "Stane took the company from me. I tried to stop Gene and now I have nothing. I have a suit of armor anybody can pilot, a bunch of money I can't do anything with and friends I'm a burden to."

"Please, please listen to me. Rhodey's coming, okay? I texted him and he's coming and so is his mom. We can make things better. Mrs. Rhodes can fight the court ruling on Stark Industries and-"

"It's all my fault," he said softly, as if she hadn't spoken. "I left. I messed up. I always mess up, Pepper. Don't you understand? If I had stopped Gene before, if I had kept my dad safe before, if I hadn't been so stupid my mom could be alive... I could've had a perfect family and a fortune and everything would have been perfect." Regret now laced every word. "Everyone would've been happy."

"You couldn't have stopped any of those things from happening. You're not psychic! You can't blame yourself for everything!" She gasped, her heart catching in her throat when he looked down at the street below with something that could only be described as longing. "What about everyone who's still alive? You can't just leave us!"

"You're better off without me. It's my fault that you've been put in danger. My fault Rhodey was hurt. It's because of me that Whitney doesn't have a mom, if I'd just used my lab time to make a cure, I could have... and if I'd read more medical books, when my mom overdosed, I..." He shut his eyes tightly. "I kill everyone who gets close to me. Anyone who helps me gets hurt. You're better off without that much danger in your life... the world doesn't need another wealthy person poor in common sense."

"That's not true!" she shouted, truly desperate by now. Rhodey, I need you here now, damn it! "You're Iron Man!"

"Anybody can wear the armor. They'd probably do a better job, too." He turned and looked back at her with eyes the color of the stormy sky up above them. "Just leave. I don't want you to have to see this."

"Then don't do it," Pepper pleaded, daring a few steps closer. "Please don't do this to me, Tony. I love you."

She hadn't meant to say it; it slipped out of it's own accord. And he flinched as if he'd been struck. "No you don't. No one does. I'm a burden people put up with because I'm smart. I'm wealthy. I'm useful. Or I was. Not anymore."

"I don't care if you're-"

"The only reason," he talked over her again, now utterly given over to despair, "that you even wanted to know me was because I was famous. Rich. When I'm gone you'll just go after some other rich guy on TV. You can have all the superheroics you need with Rhodey. You'll forget I even existed."

"That's not true!" she shouted with enough feroscity to get him to turn around. "I just couldn't think of any other way to get you to talk to me! I didn't mean to make you think that was all I was after! I don't care about Iron Man or Stark Industries! I swear to God, I don't, I don't..." Pepper trailed off, on the verge of tears. "Tony, why are you doing this?"

"I'm tired."

She stared at him in incomprehension. It was too simple an answer for a genius mind like his.

"I'm so tired, Pepper. I'm tired of fighting Stane, Gene, criminals, Rhodey, you, trying to keep everyone happy and safe and keep crime down and I miss my dad and I have to rebuild everything and I just want it to stop." He shut his eyes again, tears sliding down his cheeks. "I just want it all to stop. I don't want to try to be social, or make anyone angry, or fight anymore - I don't want to fight anymore. I'm so tired, Pepper. I'm just so damn tired."

"...this isn't the mixture, is it? Tony, you..." The thought was too horrible to complete. She moved closer as he stared at the cement of the rooftop, not noticing the tears on his own face. "Oh my God, Tony... I'm so sorry..."

"I told myself it was a lack of serotonin in the brain. A temporary depression, something I could combat on my own. But it's not. It's too much. I can't take it anymore, I just can't." His voice cracked, and he met her eyes with real tiredness shining in his. "The mixture only made it clear to me how bad things are. It didn't implant the idea. That's why the people exposed don't have a one hundred percent death rate. The idea has to already be there."

She reached out for him. He let himself be pulled off the slightly raised out ledge, onto the solid ground of the roof, but he still looked miserable. Pepper was still shaking as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" she whispered quietly. He didn't hug her back, staring ahead listlessly.

"It'd just let everyone down. Tony Stark, a fantastic failure as always. Such a spoiled brat he can't even take real life. What a marvel," he sneered with visible self-hatred. "The invinible Iron Man can't handle a little pressure."

"It's not a little pressure, it's a lot." She backed up half a step and grabbed his hands in hers, squeezing them gently. "But Rhodey and I can help you through it. We can make things better. It's not going to be like this forever, Tony. And if it is, it doesn't matter because I'm never going to leave you alone to face it, okay?"

"That goes for me, too," Rhodey announced from the now open rooftop door. He eyed Tony with guilt. "I'm sorry, man. This is all my fault-"

"Don't," Pepper sighed. "We've had enough of the blame game for tonight. Let's just go home so your mom can lecture everybody."

Tony didn't release her hands from his as she stepped forward. "Patricia."

He never called her that. She turned and looked him in the eyes, holding his gaze steadily. "Yeah, Tony?"

"What you said earlier... did you mean it?" He glanced at their entwined hands meaningfully. "All of it?"

"Absolutely." She didn't even hesitate.

His relief was visible. He wrapped an arm around her and leaned his head against hers. "Then let's go home... if you're okay staying the night, I don't want to be alone..."

"You never will be," she promised him solemnly. "Never again."

It was a promise she would sooner die than fail to keep.