My disclaimer for the entire So The Reality series:

I know Disney owns "Kim Possible"...lock, stock, and Rufus.

Before I get done, I will probably tick off a few more studios, too.

If they want to sue me, they have to get behind all my other creditors.

Since I am in south Florida, the line has formed to the right

…and goes all the way to Sacramento!

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Opening notes:

1) This is the last of the first three stories in the 'So the Reality' series. 'StR' places KP characters into various TV 'reality' shows. The first three stories are based on a 'Prologue' I initially wrote. These stories will start with a little bit of the 'Prologue' and its aftermath pertaining to the story ahead.

I originally planned to write this as the last story in the 'StR' series. Thanks to the support of so many FanFiction members, I am pleased to say this 'Writer Boy' still has a few tricks up his sleeve for 'StR'.

2) I know this is the start of a new story in my own series of KP tales. However, I would like to encourage you to check out a story I am 'beta-reading' for a friend. It's a dark tale called 'When Heroes Fall' by snapbang. This author has enlisted captainkodak1 (yes, THE captainkodak1) as a plot consultant. After he gets the Captain's input on his rough drafts, he adds more material and sends it to me for spelling and grammar polishing. I must admit, though, my contribution did not start until Chapter 2.

With three great minds working on this piece (well, two great minds and a schmuck like me playing 'English teacher'), it's really worth reading…and reviewing!!

If you want a dark, serious story to provide balance to the 'lighter side' provided here, give it a try…after you finish this chapter, OK??

One last thing about 'When Heroes Fall'…It is rated 'T' for obvious violence. You might want to use discretion before letting those younger than a fifth-grader read it.

3) As far as I know, these questions are 'grade appropriate' for their respective categories. I did not intentionally steal any questions from the show!! In a few instances, I wrote different questions on the same subjects as those that aired.

Please, Please, PLEASE do not chastise me about question placement (if what you think should be a 'Fourth-grade' question is presented as 'Third-grade', if you think a 'Science' question should be 'Animal Science', etc.).

I have also tried to verify the accuracy of each answer with at least three different sources (available upon PM request).

4) As a reminder, this story takes place a little more than six years before the rest of the 'StR' timeline so far. The reason for this 'time shift' will become obvious soon enough.

5) No matter what I put here, it's still up to you, the loyal reader, to let me know what you want. Review me, e-mail me if you wanna reach me! If you want to 'PM' me, that's ok! (Sorry…got carried away there, but you get the idea.) Enjoy!

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'So the Reality: Fifth Grader' (Introduction)

A 'sold out' crowd of over twenty-three-hundred fans packed the Boettcher Concert Hall in downtown Denver, Colorado. They were anticipating the arrival of 'Jeff the Redneck®', one of the top stand-up comics in the nation. About thirty minutes before the scheduled start of Jeff's performance, the crowd was already in full force with their stomping, shouting, whooping, and hollering. One family traveled over five-hundred-forty miles from Pawnee City, Nebraska, to attend the show…

""""""""""

Jeff sat in his dressing room wondering how he got conned into doing this gig. Here he was, with several million-selling humor books and dozens of best-selling videos and albums, playing to a smaller crowd than his last 'book-signing' appearance.

He also had his own line of officially-licensed 'Jeff the Redneck®' products, with virtually every item known to mankind bearing his trademarked name. This included the usual clothing products and lunchboxes, but it did not stop at that point. There was the 'Jeff the Redneck®' car kit, where a good mechanic could put together a street-legal car from just the parts in the kit. There was the 'Jeff the Redneck®' toaster, which printed his image on every piece of bread it toasted. The line even included a 'Jeff the Redneck®' notebook computer, for those 'high-tech' rednecks!

Jeff was selling out venues like the Mega-Office Center in Los Angeles and Madison's Garden Square in New York…and now this little place that could easily fit inside the backstage facilities of either of those venues.

Still, he was always ready to try things new and different, like this idea for a new game show from the creators of 'Survival'.

'It seems like a good enough premise.' Jeff thought. 'I just hope it does better than that sitcom fiasco!'

Jeff's makeup was finished just in time for him to get to his 'off-stage' position and wait for his cue…

""""""""""

On one side of the stage sat a cluster of five desks. These desks each had name tags, which were covered in dark plastic for the time being. Each desk surface contained an electronic tablet and stylus pen. A projection screen stood behind the desks.

A large wooden desk was located in the rear-middle portion of the stage. This desk was decorated with textbooks, a globe, rulers, pencils, pens, notebooks, and (of course) an apple. The projection screen behind this desk was twice as big as the other screen.

A set of two podiums faced the larger desk. Each podium contained the same tablet/stylus combination as the smaller desks. A large button was positioned on one corner of each podium. While the podium surfaces were equal in height, steps leading to a raised platform were behind one of the podiums.

Thad Marster, the comic hired to normally open for Jeff, stood between the two podiums and addressed the crowd.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I would normally perform an opening monologue just before introducing Jeff. Tonight, you won't hear that from me."

This brought a roar of cheers from the crowd, and a frown from Thad.

"Thanks, folks." Thad said in a deadpan voice. "That didn't hurt at all!"

This drew a good amount of laughter. Thad let it settle before continuing.

"Tonight, we decided to give the people of Denver a little treat. In addition to Jeff's full performance, we are also shooting a pilot for a new show—right here on this stage!"

A loud chorus of boos quickly erupted from the capacity crowd.

"Wait, Wait…Hear me out. I assure you it is not a sitcom this time!"

The rafters of the hall shook with applause at that statement. It was the first time anything Thad said on stage had generated a standing ovation.

Returning to his deadpan voice, Thad droned, "Thanks again, everybody. I'm sure Jeff agrees in full."

More laughter sprung from the audience before Thad returned to his normal voice.

"With all these game shows that have sprung up since Reject Philbin's 'Million-Dollaraire', we thought we'd make things simple. All you have to do to win a million dollars on tonight's show is answer eleven simple questions.

"Did I say 'simple questions'? I mean really simple questions—the kind you had back in grade school."

Thad turned to face a camera before he spoke again.

"Anybody in America should be able to do this, right? Of course, you should. You just have to ask yourself…

"Are you smarter than a Fifth Grader?"

At that moment, taped music blared through the hall's speakers. The music featured a group of children, singing:

Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

'Cause there's gonna be a test later.

Teacher, teacher now we're back in school.

Are you smarter than you used to be?

Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

Grab a pencil and a piece of paper.

Teacher, teacher now we're back in school.

So are you smart enough for the fifth grade?

Thad shouted at the top of his lungs, "And here's your host…Jeff the Redneck®!!"

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Jeff heard his name and used his lanky frame to spring onto the stage.

"Thank you, everybody," he shouted above the applause, "and welcome to a very special night here in Denver, Colorado.

"Do you remember all of those little things you learned in grade school, such as 'I before E, except after C' or 'What goes up must come down'? Tonight, we will put that knowledge to the test for one person. If he can answer just eleven of these questions correctly, he will walk out of here with One Million DOLLARS!!"

Jeff let the applause fade before he continued.

"And…just to help him out, we have brought in five terrific kids from a suburban school district just outside of town. Give it up for our fifth graders!"

Applause from the audience ebbed and flowed with the introduction of each student.

Jeff shouted, "Here they are now…

"…BONNIE…"

…A brunette girl in a flowing pink dress casually walked up to Jeff. She curtseyed, gave Jeff a modest smile, and offered him the top of her hand. Surprised by her sophistication, Jeff reached down and began to bring her hand up to kiss it. The girl quickly snatched the hand away before the kiss was made.

She sashayed to her desk, gave Jeff an evil grin, and ripped the cover from her desk's name tag. It had her name, along with pictures of a diamond and a 'shooting star'…

"…TARA…"

…A smiling blonde girl skipped up to Jeff, gave him a quick hug, and skipped over to her desk.

She carefully removed the cover from her desk's name tag. Her name was complimented by decorative pictures of a butterfly and a flower…

"…JOSH…"

…A polite young boy with dark hair (except for a shock of blonde hair off to one side) walked up to Jeff, politely shook his hand, and removed the cover from his desk's name tag.

His name was adorned with pictures of an artist's palette and a rainbow springing from a canvas on an artist's easel…

"…KIM…"

A blur of red and powder-blue performed several back-flips and a somersault in the air before landing right in front of Jeff. Once this bundle of energy stopped, it became a young girl with red hair in pigtails. She wore a white T-shirt with a powder-blue heart on the front. She also wore matching powder-blue slacks and white athletic shoes. She flashed a sheepish grin as she shook Jeff's hand.

The girl performed a flawless hand-spring, uncovered her name tag in mid-air, and landed in her seat behind her desk. Her name tag was adorned with pictures of a globe and a heart similar in size to the one on her shirt.

"…and RON…"

…a blonde-haired boy ran full-speed toward Jeff. He overshot his intended mark and crashed into one of the podiums. Jeff rushed over to make sure the child and the podium were still intact. The boy rose with a goofy grin on his face.

The collision managed to unhinge the youngster's belt buckle. As he shook Jeff's hand, the boy's pants fell around his ankles. Luckily, his brand-new 'Jeff the Redneck®' boxer shorts kept the censors from shutting down production right then and there.

Jeff tried to put his best 'spin' on the situation as the audience howled with laughter. He placed one hand on the boy's shoulder as he led the student to his desk. At this point, nobody was paying attention to the name tag, which was decorated with pictures of a chef's hat and a video-game controller.

Three of the boy's 'classmates' joined the rest of the crowd in long and hearty laughter. The red-haired girl in the powder-blue, however, looked at the audience as if she was ready to fight all of them at once!!

Although she couldn't be heard amongst all the laughter, she shouted, "LEAVE MY BEST FRIEND ALONE!!"

Once the boy was seated, Jeff raised his hands to silence the audience.

"At least," Jeff stated with pride, "the kid's got good taste!"

The audience resumed their laughter as Jeff rubbed the kid's shoulders and tried to calm him down. The red-haired girl and the blonde boy exchanged a few words. Oddly enough, he was reassuring her that everything was going to be ok!

After everything returned to a relative state of normal, Jeff returned to his position between the podiums.

"Now that you've met our students," Jeff said, "it's time to meet our contestant…

"He's a recently-discharged Marine lieutenant who will soon be facing an even more dangerous challenge…teaching at a high school! From right here in Denver, please welcome…Steven Barkin!!"

Although he was dressed in a dark blue 'civilian' suit, Steven smartly marched out to the podiums and saluted Jeff. After Jeff returned the salute, the men shook hands and Steven took his position behind one of the podiums.

Jeff read from one of his cards, "Steven, it says here that we have a picture of you from back when you were in fifth grade; but now I'm not so sure…"

On the large projection screen, a silhouette of a boy's head appeared. In front of the silhouette was a red bar with white lettering which declared that the picture was 'CLASSIFIED'.

'Whew' thought Steven, 'that was close! Betty and I may have dated in our senior year, but I'm glad she still has my back after all those missions! I wonder how she's doing over at GJ now, anyway? If she plays her cards right, she might be Director soon. Hmph…how fitting would that be? Oh, well…at least she has the name for it!'

As Steven's mind was on his former girlfriend, Jeff was explaining the general rules of the game…

"At the start of the game, and after every two questions, you must pick a new 'classmate'. Once you pick a 'classmate', you can select one of these categories and answer a question from that grade level and subject…"

At this point, the large projection screen showed ten categories, two each for five different grade levels. Steven was still too busy thinking about Betty to pay attention to them.

"…The more questions you get right, the more money you make…"

An earnings chart showed ascending amounts starting at one thousand dollars and climbing up to five hundred thousand dollars.

"…If you get all ten questions right, you will have the chance to answer one more question for one million dollars…"

Roars of applause came up from the audience as the projection screen switched from the earnings chart to one larger bar which read 'Million Dollar Question'

"…If you get a question wrong before you reach twenty-five thousand dollars, you will 'flunk out' and lose all the money you have earned up to that point. We'll get to the twenty-five thousand dollar level later.

"If you can't answer a question at any time, you can always 'drop out' of school and walk away with whatever money you have earned so far...

"Steven, we did add one rule after your briefing backstage…If you 'drop out' or 'flunk out' of this school, you have to look into the camera and say, 'I am NOT smarter than a fifth grader!'

"Do we have a deal?"

Steven was just coming back to reality after reflecting on his relationship with Betty. He knew Jeff was explaining the rules. He was not worried, though. The rules had already been explained to him an hour ago as he was putting on his suit.

The only thing Steven heard that differed from the earlier briefing was, "Do we have a deal?"

Steven shook Jeff's hand and declared, "You can count on me!"

"Okay, Steven…Pick a classmate and let's get started!"

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Author's ending notes:

1) Well, well, well…just who do you think Steven will pick first out of those five? Probably not the 'Pants-less Wonder'…unless Steven thinks he won't need help on the first two questions. Then he might want to get Ron out of the way early, saving the others for when he might need help!

'Curiouser and curiouser…' as Alice once said in Wonderland…

2) Before you ask, I am a native Nebraskan (though not from Pawnee City). My family tree does fork and I can actually spell AT but in many other ways, I is a redneck!

3) I will post the next chapter in about two weeks (on or around 12-8-2007). This should provide readers with enough time to catch up with their 'post-holiday' lives and give a decent review here before the next chapter is released.

4) The production of this story, like that for any work of fiction, is solely dependent upon the constructive feedback of its readers. If you like it, I will gladly make more. If you think of ways to make it better, I am always open to suggestions. If you really think it's a piece of garbage, stop me before I strike again!! Once again, Review me, e-mail me if you wanna reach me! If you want to 'PM' me, that's ok!

Your friend in writing,

The Samurai Crunchbird