Set after the KCK nearly shoots Natalie with a crossbow.

John likes control

Trigger

He likes guns. The metal feels cool in his palm and there is a sense of control.

He can't control her.

She does stupid things, dangerous things, and he can't stop her.

So he catches her when she falls

And he dreams about the day he won't. The night when he won't be fast enough, strong enough and she will lay cold on a slab. He wakes sodden with sweat, and tries not to think about the nightmares. In the dark those are dangerous monsters to face, so he buries himself in his work.

In the light he won't let himself forget. Today could be the day.

He wants to hit her till he can knock some sense into her. He's not worth it, doesn't she see? He's not even worthy of her. And today could be the day.

She shakes him like a can of pop and he explodes. And he tells her things he shouldn't- things that will make her think he is a good man, that he is worthy. He's sure he's not.

And he hates her.

He hates that she puts herself in danger. That she thinks that helping him is worth risking her life. It's not, he's not.

He hates her.

She makes him ache.

And if he's not quick enough today could be the day.

She makes him feel, wakes him up from his Caitlin induced coma.

And he loves her.

He knows he shouldn't.

He loves her.

And today could be the day.

Something stupid and she's gone.

Push her away, keep her safe.

I love you.

Bang.

End-