WARNING: SPOILERS TO MAGIC EXE AHEAD.
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Don't say I didn't warn you.
"Harry, Ron, Hermione… Cat face or not, you'll have to fit in with Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and the rest of the Slytherins."
The three nodded, starting to pay attention. After all, I was the only Slytherin in our motley group. I smiled.
"First, a few questions."
I snapped my fingers, and Dominic reskinned my hair to look slicked back.
"Are you a real Slytherin?"
Hermione seemed to cock her head at the question, while Ron was the only one to respond.
"Well, technically… no."
"Have you ever caught a good guy, like a… Like a real Auror?"
Harry merely shook his head, as if he was afraid his voice would give him away (And to be fair, it probably would.)
"No."
"Have you ever tried Polyjuice Potion?"
More head-shaking.
"Bloody hell, no!"
"ALRIGHT!" I shouted, pointing a finger up into the air. "I can see that I'm going to have to teach you HOW TO BE… SLYTHERINS!"
I whipped a saxophone from my Inventory, just grabbing the card straight out of the window. I played a jazzy riff, which would probably be familiar to a certain well-dressed villain.
"Hey!" all three of the Gryffindors shouted as they started to dance to ambient music that matched the tune I played. I just looked at my sax in confusion. The show wasn't even released yet, how were they dancing? I merely glared at Dominic, who emitted a metallic whistling sound as the ambience continued. The Gryffindors were now playing various musical instruments they'd pulled from… somewhere.
"WE ARE NUMBER ONE! Hey!"
—
Using no small amount of MS, I raised a large adamantium cage with my staff in a side hall (which looked a lot like the ROM Rotunda). I heard a slight gasp from one of the stairwells as the Gryffindors-in-disguise marched by, still playing We Are Number One. When I looked behind me, however, the was no-one to be seen.
"WE ARE NUMBER ONE!"
—
Back in the first-floor girls' bathroom…
"Now, listen closely!"
The pseudo-Slytherins perked up.
"Here's a little lesson in Slithery!" I said.
—
I showed Ron the fine points of casting Petrificus Totalus.
—
"This is goin' down in history! If you wanna be a Slytherin Number One…"
—
I sent Dominic-mail to the three Gryffindors, who turned up right away and demonstrated their offensive hexes.
—
"You have to chase a Gryffindor pleb on the run!"
—
I tested the three Gryffindors' ability to give chase, with Ginny's help.
—
As Ginny ran through the trophy room, the pseudo-Slytherins and I hid behind one of the display cases. Casting Muffliato, I softly snuck out behind Ginny.
"Just copy my spells, and sneak around! Be careful not to make a sound!"
Ron then tripped over his own two feet and landed on his already-broken wand, breaking it again with an audible crack.
"Don't do that!"
—
The Gryffindor unofficial marching band bumped into me, breaking my concentration and dropping the adamantium cage around me.
—
The Gryffindors and I orchestrated a Petrificus-Totalus based ambush for Ginny in the Entrance Hall. Needless to say, Ron (Disguised as Crabbe) fell off his Cleansweep Seven as he cast the spell, which ended the ambush in disaster.
"WE ARE NUMBER ONE! Hey!"
—
Ginny approached me, being the usual non-unfriendly self I was without hinting at my involvement in Harry, Ron and Hermione's Slytherin training, to ask if she could borrow some of my Transfiguration notes as the pseudo-Slytherins marched by.
"WE ARE NUMBER ONE!"
I Confunded Ginny, holding my wand behind my back, and ducked behind a banister, casting Impossum Videre on myself as I Stunned Ginny from where I squatted while the Gryffindors looked on.
—
I snuck out from the Charms corridor behind a Muffliato'd Neville Longbottom, the Gryffindors-in-disguise at my heels.
"Now remember the spell that I taught you! When I say "NET", be ready to cast!"
Neville dropped Trevor as I said "NET", throwing off the trio's aim… directly at me.
"Cast it at him, not me!" I bit out when the debuff cleared. "Ugh, let's try something else…"
—
I cast a freezing spell over the Entrance Hall as I waited for Ginny to pass through.
"Now watch and learn, here's the deal:
She'll slip and slide on this magical ice!"
The Gryffindor Unofficial Marching Band then proceeded to walk all over the ice, falling over.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
—
As we made a show of marching Ginny to the first floor, someone in the crowd cast "Animum Recepi", foiling our "plans".
—
"SLYTHERIN NUMBER OOOOOONEEEEE!"
—
Giving up on any other means of doing anything, Hermione probably took another swig of the Polyjuice Potion.
The one that was laced with a cat hair.
The resulting disfiguration prompted her to just commence crying and run to the Hospital Wing.
"WE ARE NUMBER ONE!"
Ron, Harry and I continued our quest to annoy the Gryffindor House in general, which, due to Hermione's lack of being there to plan for us, failed miserably.
"WE ARE NUMBER ONE!"
—
I smiled. These Gryffindors would make wonderful Slytherins.
"WE ARE NUMBER ONE! Hey! Hey!"
—
"What is it, Goyle?"
"That Dresden fellow seems to think he's better than you!"
"Just… Teach him a little lesson when he returns."
"This'll go down in history for sure as the day Draco Malfoy determined his undisputed mastery over the Slytherin second years!"
"Right, Crabbe! Showing some brains for once! Because who are we?"
Both of Draco's minions sighed. "Number one…"
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Thank you for reading this cringey, spoilery Unused Snippet of Magic EXE!
Just to clear up the spoilers for you, it was that Alabaster ended up in Slytherin.
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