Author's note: YO!~ This is pretty much crack, but hope you guys still enjoy it! xD Greatly inspired by gigguk's Rail Wars parody on youtube and Breaking the Curse by Jalen kun right here on fanfiction! Go check them out!
Levi is sitting cross legged in his chair behind his desk (quite sassily might I add), "Alright you fuck maggots! Welcome to 'How to Make and Serve Tea With Levi'. The first rule for serving tea is to become the tea. My assistant Eren will demonstrate this for us."
Eren very awkwardly walks in the shot, "I brought you some tea, corporal." He very carefully sets the tray down on Levi's desk.
"Wrong!" Levi booms, "Almost, but not quite. You must become the tea. Are you the tea cadet?!"
"I-I'm the tea?" Eren responds slightly confused.
"Louder! Are you the tea?!"
"I am the tea!"
"Are you the tea Eren Jaeger?!"
"I. AM-"
"SHUT UP! YOU GUYS ARE KILLING MY EARDRUMS!" Sarah yells holding the boom stick.
Levi clears his throat, "So, that's how you serve tea. You must become the tea." He takes a sip of his tea only to spit it back out in Eren's face, "What is this?! Huh?!"
"I-it's tea.." Eren stutters out slightly terrified.
"It tastes like you pissed in this cup. Are you a pisser Mr. Takayama?!" Levi sternly says.
"W-what? Who the hell is that?!" Eren whines utterly confused.
"Are you a pisser Mr. Taka-"
"Levi." Joy whispers calling his attention from behind the camera, "That's not his name."
"What?"
"That's not- that's not his name. You called him Takayama."
"I did?"
"Yup... You watched that Rail Wars parody I told you to didn't you?"
"I did. Good job, it was actually kinda funny," Levi responds nodding.
"Glob! I know right! 'Are you feeling undaijoubu?'" Joy perfectly, enthusiastically mimics the 'pisser Takayama'.
"Do you need me to help you feel kimochiiii~?" Levi finishes. The two proceed to reenact scenes from Rail Whores by gigguk.
"Umm..." Armin jumps in front of the camera, "Since they're busy fangirling we'll take a quick commercial break!"
... Please Standby ...
"We're back on! Stop fangirling! Get your shit together!" Sarah sternly whispers.
Joy takes her respective spot back behind the camera, while Levi clears his throat, he turns toward Eren again, "Are you pisser Mr. Taka- Fuck! I blame you for this!" He shoots a glare towards Joy.
"I got this, I got this." Joy asks Hanji to take the camera for her, as she clears her throat, "Are you a pisser Jaeger boy?!"
"What does that even mean?!" Eren yells utterly confused.
"Oh I see, you think you're a tea expert! Well, Jaeger the tea expert! You look like the kind of guy who thinks taking a women out means buying flowers, wining and dining her, and then pissing all over her naked body!"
"What?!" Eren shrieks.
"Are you a pisser Jaeger boy?"
"No! What?!"
"ARE. YOU. A. PISSER. JAEGER BOY."
"That doesn't even make sense! How does pissing on someone's body mean I pissed in his tea?!"Eren retorts exasperated.
"You think all it takes to make some tea is to drop some leaves in boiling water?!" Joy continues to yell at the poor confused titan-boy.
"Y-yes." Eren hesitantly answers.
"You think you can just serve someone tea, without becoming the tea and expecting it to be good?!"
"Yes."
Levi throws a 'How to Make Tea For Dummies' (proudly written by himself), "Well, here! Go practice how to make tea till you can jack off to a god damn tea cup!" Levi turns to the camera, "For everyone else, let's learn how to make some motherfucking tea!"
Rail Wars parody - watch?v=7EKkAy-PfN4
