Elflord: Yo, people. I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, so don't even try suing
me. It just isn't worth it. Don't try it; it won't work. I'll just laugh
and laugh and laugh and laugh and . . . Soujiro: Do you really think that's
necessary? Elford: What do you mean? Soujiro: You keep repeating yourself
over and over again. Elflord: Um . . . I guess so. Soujiro: So stop.
Elflord: Oh . . . *-_-* okay.
A/N: Just so you know, I don't take plot to be orthodox. I use most parts of the plot as it supports the fic, but I don't feel restrained about revising other parts of the plot according to my own interpretation to better support the fic. Please do not flame for plot reasons.
Silent
You found me dying;
Like a kitten in the rain,
You found me a broken soul,
A beaten dog.
I didn't know I'd been wronged my whole life.
I didn't know why they beat me,
Why they hated me,
Why I was less than them.
I didn't understand why I was sickening to them.
You found me a dam ready to break
And, like true justice, guaranteed me death;
An escape from my existence of pain.
You saw how I welcomed it
Saw my smile in the reflection of the blade . . .
Could you see my insanity?
You spared me . . .
Why?
Perhaps even you do not know
Night after night, you sat with me
Listened to my pathetic stories of midnight woe
Told me of great men and terrible things they did.
You were my sensei, my teacher
My guide when no one cared if I lived or died
Not even me.
Your philosophy was simple
Even a boy could understand it
"If you're strong, you live.
If you're weak, you die."
By that standard, I would die,
But I didn't care.
I doubt I even knew what death meant.
Day after day went by,
A slave, a beaten dog by day
Hanging on your every word by night.
In my hands you placed a sword;
The choice to die or live
To be caged or free
To be weak or strong.
It was not long until my choice was made.
Death, destruction stared me in the face . . .
I chose life . . . I killed them
And in that instant
Perhaps I really believed
That sanity was not a possibility
That the whole world was insane
That to destroy is what men do;
Morality was a weakness
And apathy was strength.
You asked me if I was crying
And I was silent . . . and smiling.
You took me under your wings
Where the harsh winds couldn't blow
And the cold rain wouldn't sting.
I clung to you and your simple ideals
They protected me from empathy
They kept me from my guilt.
Under your watchful eye
I studied your art;
The geometries of the sword,
The languages of murder,
The histories of tyranny,
The science of the psychopath.
You pushed me past my limits,
Killed me over and over inside
Day in and day out
Threw me down and forced me to get up again.
I looked to you for support
And you turned away
Your cold stony heart unable to embrace me.
I never expected that
Never wanted that from you.
From you, I died
Reborn everyday from the death I'd endured.
Systematically, slowly you brainwashed
The words so tempting, so awesome, so silver on my tongue
"If you're strong, you live.
If you're weak, you die."
Like a parrot, I repeated
Over and over, like a mantra
Religiously, zealously I studied it
In a thousand different dreamed of dimensions
From every angle imaginable
Worshipped it like a God
Practiced it like the words of the Amida.
Slowly surely, I became it
Every part of me that was human
Began to wither, fade away,
Every part of my heart that could feel
Began to freeze, withdraw into itself.
You wanted me to be like you.
I listened and was silent . . . and smiling.
And finally, the time you had waited for . . .
A time in which the Joupongatana,
That sacred bond between men
Would finally take power once again.
At last, I was old enough,
Skilled enough, strong enough . . .
A time when I at last could shine above the rest.
Like a little boy, I ran, laughing and playing
Like it was all one big game.
Indeed, I can understand it.
Such exciting times, and I so near the pinnacle. . .
One of the best times in my life.
I didn't even mind it when I lost the first time.
You told me he was weak and I believed you
As I had learned to do so readily.
You said I would beat him the next time,
And I agreed completely.
There was nothing to fear of a man who could not kill.
Why, if you cannot kill, how can you win?
I went into battle confidently
Prepared to finish him off myself
Finish him off . . . that almost sounds funny now
How wrong . . . how could I be so wrong?
For he knew, he knew what and who I was inside
He, too, had suffered
He, too, knew what it was like to be empty
To be an animal . . .
To be a murderer.
He knew what it was like to be used.
He opened the doors you shut
Back to that moment
The moment on the edge, on the line . . .
I lost.
You called me the weak and thought me worthless
But I was not silent . . . and I did not smile.
I leave you, sensei
And I only hope that you survive
That perhaps he can save you too
That perhaps, all along, you were wrong.
Somewhere, somehow, perhaps the weak CAN live
And even the strong can die.
I turn upon a new road today
A road that is empty
Free for me to find my own ways
My own beliefs, my own thoughts,
My own way to live without anyone's influence.
Rurouni . . . it is my name, too
A wanderer, a vagabond abroad
My last chance to save myself . . .
And if you'll let them
You might have a chance too.
And this time
I am not silent . . . and I will not smile.
THE END
A/N: Just so you know, I don't take plot to be orthodox. I use most parts of the plot as it supports the fic, but I don't feel restrained about revising other parts of the plot according to my own interpretation to better support the fic. Please do not flame for plot reasons.
Silent
You found me dying;
Like a kitten in the rain,
You found me a broken soul,
A beaten dog.
I didn't know I'd been wronged my whole life.
I didn't know why they beat me,
Why they hated me,
Why I was less than them.
I didn't understand why I was sickening to them.
You found me a dam ready to break
And, like true justice, guaranteed me death;
An escape from my existence of pain.
You saw how I welcomed it
Saw my smile in the reflection of the blade . . .
Could you see my insanity?
You spared me . . .
Why?
Perhaps even you do not know
Night after night, you sat with me
Listened to my pathetic stories of midnight woe
Told me of great men and terrible things they did.
You were my sensei, my teacher
My guide when no one cared if I lived or died
Not even me.
Your philosophy was simple
Even a boy could understand it
"If you're strong, you live.
If you're weak, you die."
By that standard, I would die,
But I didn't care.
I doubt I even knew what death meant.
Day after day went by,
A slave, a beaten dog by day
Hanging on your every word by night.
In my hands you placed a sword;
The choice to die or live
To be caged or free
To be weak or strong.
It was not long until my choice was made.
Death, destruction stared me in the face . . .
I chose life . . . I killed them
And in that instant
Perhaps I really believed
That sanity was not a possibility
That the whole world was insane
That to destroy is what men do;
Morality was a weakness
And apathy was strength.
You asked me if I was crying
And I was silent . . . and smiling.
You took me under your wings
Where the harsh winds couldn't blow
And the cold rain wouldn't sting.
I clung to you and your simple ideals
They protected me from empathy
They kept me from my guilt.
Under your watchful eye
I studied your art;
The geometries of the sword,
The languages of murder,
The histories of tyranny,
The science of the psychopath.
You pushed me past my limits,
Killed me over and over inside
Day in and day out
Threw me down and forced me to get up again.
I looked to you for support
And you turned away
Your cold stony heart unable to embrace me.
I never expected that
Never wanted that from you.
From you, I died
Reborn everyday from the death I'd endured.
Systematically, slowly you brainwashed
The words so tempting, so awesome, so silver on my tongue
"If you're strong, you live.
If you're weak, you die."
Like a parrot, I repeated
Over and over, like a mantra
Religiously, zealously I studied it
In a thousand different dreamed of dimensions
From every angle imaginable
Worshipped it like a God
Practiced it like the words of the Amida.
Slowly surely, I became it
Every part of me that was human
Began to wither, fade away,
Every part of my heart that could feel
Began to freeze, withdraw into itself.
You wanted me to be like you.
I listened and was silent . . . and smiling.
And finally, the time you had waited for . . .
A time in which the Joupongatana,
That sacred bond between men
Would finally take power once again.
At last, I was old enough,
Skilled enough, strong enough . . .
A time when I at last could shine above the rest.
Like a little boy, I ran, laughing and playing
Like it was all one big game.
Indeed, I can understand it.
Such exciting times, and I so near the pinnacle. . .
One of the best times in my life.
I didn't even mind it when I lost the first time.
You told me he was weak and I believed you
As I had learned to do so readily.
You said I would beat him the next time,
And I agreed completely.
There was nothing to fear of a man who could not kill.
Why, if you cannot kill, how can you win?
I went into battle confidently
Prepared to finish him off myself
Finish him off . . . that almost sounds funny now
How wrong . . . how could I be so wrong?
For he knew, he knew what and who I was inside
He, too, had suffered
He, too, knew what it was like to be empty
To be an animal . . .
To be a murderer.
He knew what it was like to be used.
He opened the doors you shut
Back to that moment
The moment on the edge, on the line . . .
I lost.
You called me the weak and thought me worthless
But I was not silent . . . and I did not smile.
I leave you, sensei
And I only hope that you survive
That perhaps he can save you too
That perhaps, all along, you were wrong.
Somewhere, somehow, perhaps the weak CAN live
And even the strong can die.
I turn upon a new road today
A road that is empty
Free for me to find my own ways
My own beliefs, my own thoughts,
My own way to live without anyone's influence.
Rurouni . . . it is my name, too
A wanderer, a vagabond abroad
My last chance to save myself . . .
And if you'll let them
You might have a chance too.
And this time
I am not silent . . . and I will not smile.
THE END
