DISCLAIMER: I own nothing basically in this story. : (((( Makes me very sad but tis true.
A/N: Italics are flashback.
SUMMARY: Dean was dying and there was nothing he could do. Sam had always hid the fact that he loved him as a brother. He always covered it up but it was the truth. Set during 'In my time of dying' series 2
TITLE: Distance is a virtue
The hospital room was dimly lit. He could just about see his dying brother but it was dimly lit. He looked peaceful, in every way with his short cut brown hair neatly combed upwards like it always was. His eyes were shut, thank God. It creeped out Sam when people slept with their eyes open, he preferred it when they went with their eyes shut. He was the lucky one, the lucky survivor I mean. His dad and brother were close to death and what's worse is that his dad didn't care. He cared about the Cult and that was it. He cared about Dean, more than he showed and it hurt knowing he was dying. Rain lashed the windows of the hospital room, sending pattering melodies through the room and Dean still remained perfectly still. Standing up from the chair in the corner, Sam walked up to his brother and ran a hand through his hair.
"Christ Dean look at you, no offense but you look terrible." Sam chuckled in hope to make the whole situation a little brighter. "Dean, look man I need you to pull through because I need you. I've never really said it but it's the truth. I know you can't hear me but I just wanted to tell you that I love you Dean, you've always been a big brother to me and I'll never forget that. You brought me up alone when dad was out hunting and you were all I had left." Sam let out a cold chuckle and slumped down next to his brother. "Remember when you knocked out Jimmy Christal for bullying me that time?"
"No Dean it's nothing really." A nine year old Sam wined, pulling his older brother back.
"Sam, I'm not gonna let Jimmy get away with this. Has he been hurting you?" Dean asked, his eyes connecting with Sam's.
"Yeah." Sam sighed under his breath.
"Right then, I'm gonna give this Jimmy kid a piece of my mind. No one hurts my little brother except me." He had always been that protective brother Sam needed, he'd always been there through everything and now he wasn't gonna let some ten year old boy pick on his brother because he was older than him. Any other person could've told Sam to get lost but not Dean because Sam was all he had left. Sure he had his dad but he could've been gone for days, weeks. Sammy, he was always there like a virus.
"Yeah, you got in so much trouble from dad that night when he came home unexpectedly." Sam's small laugh was forced, simple as that. It was a forced, hurt chuckle but it seemed to brighten the mood up a little. "Oh and that Christmas when mom was alive and you and dad had matching sweaters with green Christmas trees on, dad told me and I wish I could remember it but then again I was so young. It's a shame, we could've had a good laugh that year…I mean you know if I could laugh but as I said, I was a baby so…" He trailed off, fighting back tears in his eyes. "Dad told me you bought me a present but it didn't come in time. Still, it was a nice sentiment. Dean Bro if you can hear me, if you're out there then please pull through. You know dad and I will kill each other when you're gone. Man I am so glad you can't hear me because if you could then I'd never hear the end of it. Then again if you could it would show you're still alive. Look, I never told you this but you're my brother and I…well I care about you." It was an awkward moment for Sam, telling this to his unconscious brother and he only wished he would twitch or move in the slightest way just to show he was still alive.
His dad was still in the other room, resting. It still failed to amaze him how important the cult was to John. Sometimes it seemed as though he cared about it more than Dean, sometimes Sam didn't believe that it did mean more than Dean because to him Dean was at the top his importance list. He knew that soon after he would want to start hunting again, finding and killing that thing that killed his mom but he wouldn't let them before Dean and his dad were fully recovered. Deep down, he blamed himself. He was behind the wheel, he should've seen it coming but he didn't. If it weren't for him his brother wouldn't be critically ill. And the Impala, God the Impala was a wreck. He wanted to take it to the scrap heap but Dean would've killed him for that so he left it at Bobby's garage. He let two feeble tears slip from his lashes and fall onto the bedding. It was hard to keep them back and he knew that the pain wouldn't stop until Dean was better and if he never got better than it would never stop. He couldn't help but feel that same stab of guilt in his heart. Had he really caused his brother to be in so much pain? That was a question that didn't bare thinking about. Squeezing his brother's hand a little tighter, he sighed and wiped away a few stray tears with his free hand.
"Come on Dean, just wake up please." His voice held various tones of begging. He knew that it wouldn't be happening; Dean would have woken up by now if he was going to. He only wished there was something more he could do than sit around watching his brother die. The moon was high in the sky, occasional clouds drifting over it aimlessly. The stars clung to every part of the sky and Sam only wished that one was out for Dean.
A/N: I'm kinda new to this whole Supernatural fic writing so please go easy on me. Did you love it; hate it, were you indifferent? Pretty please review!
