Author's notes: So writing is the only thing that seems to be helping me survive the hiatus so far…..this will have a part 3 and 4 eventually! Hope you enjoy!


Bellamy woke with a start. He shot up panting, his heart racing. He took a deep breath running his hand through his hair shakily. He could feel the sweat glistening on his skin and it took him a second to recognize his surroundings before he fell back with a sigh.

It had been 1,004 days in space. And Bellamy felt as if he was slowly losing his mind.

The first day back on the ark had been the worst. It felt so claustrophobic compared to the ground. Though the ring looked big, it wasn't even close to 5% of what the original ark had been before and nowhere close to how free the ground had felt.

After they had gotten the air working everybody had worked for hours to make sure the ark was running efficiently.

Harper and Echo worked on building up the algae farm that Monty said would be able to produce fertilizer, pharmaceuticals, and algal fuel.

Emori and Murphy focused on putting together rooms for everybody to stay in.

Raven went through Medical Station looking for supplies and medicine.

Monty focused his attention on the control room and boosted the electricity to other parts of the ring.

Bellamy was left to make sure everything else was safe and secure. He was doing a walkthrough of the ring when he stumbled across the old earth monitoring control room.

Bellamy froze at the door before slowly making his way in to stand in front of the huge screen.

It was black. But Bellamy knew what it would show.

As he moved closer he bumped into the desk and the screen jumped to life.

And there were pictures of the 100.

There was everyone. Everyone they had lost. Everyone that was holed up in that bunker on earth. The few that were still with them.

There was his baby sister.

Bellamy sunk into the chair and ran his hand across the pad landing on her picture. Her picture filled the screen and his heart dropped. He shook his head aggressively and clicked off her picture. He knew she was alright. He had just talked to her. She was fine. She was in the bunker. She was safe.

He focused his attention back on the screen, his eyes darting through the pictures.

There was Clarke.

He moved over to her picture. It took a minute but with a shaky breath he clicked on her image and it quickly filled the screen. His breath hitched as he took in her face. He couldn't believe how different she looked. How young. How innocent. How not broken. How alive.

He dropped his head to his hands with a sigh.

But he was quickly startled when a message came through on a stray radio in the room.

"Bellamy. It's me. I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can…. I hope you left without me. I hope you got to the ark safe. I wish you all the best. I'll miss you. Tell everybody I say goodbye. May we meet again."

Bellamy jumped out of the chair and scrambled for the radio, his fingers slipping on the buttons.

"Clarke?! Clarke?! Are you there? It's Bellamy. Do you read?"

But she didn't respond. She just repeated what she had said before.

It wasn't until a few minutes later that Bellamy realized the message was on a loop. Clarke was already gone. Primfaiya had hit by now. She was gone.

It was in that moment that he lost the last bit of hope he had been clinging onto. He drew in a deep breath and steeled himself. Clarke told him to follow his head and not just his heart. He had to accept that. He had to accept that Clarke was gone. That Clarke was dead. He had to move on. He had to focus on the mission. The mission. Survive on the ark. Return to the ground. Find the bunker. And live once again.

The days passed. The months passed. The years passed.

The ark was running smoothly and everybody was doing as well as they could.

Everybody had heard Clarke's message though it was Bellamy who kept going back alone once a day to listen to that message over and over and over again.

Bellamy explored the base to pass time. He found remnants of skaikru's time there. Clothes, old notebooks, little trinkets, jewelry, toys.

And then one day he found something.

Raven had taken everything important from medical station. Everything else she deemed not needed. But little did she know that there was something in there that Bellamy did need.

One day Bellamy was looking through the medical bay when he saw a door in the back. His hand froze on the knob as he read the name on the door.

Dr. Abigail Griffin.

His heart dropped. And he pushed the door open slowly.

He flicked on the light and the room lit up. Papers were scattered on the floor. Medical equipment toppled over on the floor. Photos sat on the desk. He reached over and picked one up. It was a picture of young Clarke. He ran his finger across her face before gently placing it back down.

He sat at Abby's desk the chair squeaking under his weight. His hands wandered and he opened drawers finding various medicals tools. Until he reached the bottom drawer. When he pulled it open he found drawings.

Dozens of drawings.

Flipping through he saw many familiar faces. Abby, Jaha, Wells, some guards he used to work with. He froze.

Was that him?

He dropped the rest of the drawings to the ground as he brought that particular one closer to his face.

It was him.

It was a profile of the top part of his body. He was wearing an officer's uniform. His was hair slicked back. His mouth was curled up in a gentle smirk.

Bellamy gripped the drawing tight in his hand before taking off out of the room and never returning.

The days continued to pass. And it didn't get any better. Bellamy felt as if he was frozen in time.

He would habitually visit the earth control room and stare at the faces of the 100 each day. Not for hope of their survival. But for memories of a better time.

He pushed through his pain and led everyone like Clarke wanted, even though his heart was screaming to go back to the ground.

He carried around her drawing in his pocket. He hadn't looked at it since the day he found it, but he'd catch his hand wondering to his pocket when he was feeling particularly broken. Though he would always snatch it back before giving in.

When faced with a particularly hard decision he would find himself looking to his right, for Clarke. But she was never there. He was alone. Alone to make the decision for himself, like Clarke believed he could.

Everyone was worried about him. He didn't seem the same. He seemed hard. Emotionless. He seemed to be going through the motions of living, without truly living.

The years ticked by and then it was time to go back to the ground.

It took a few months over the 5-year limit, but they made it to the ground. Everything was wasted. There wasn't any green anywhere. It was all brown dead dust.

They settled on an area and began to make it their own. Emori and Murphy built small huts. Raven and Monty set up communication and technology they brought from the ark. Harper and Echo tried to hunt, but quickly gave up when they found no animals and focused on planting vegetation. And Bellamy led. With his head.

There was no sign of life anywhere.

Raven swore that she had landed them close to where their original settlement had been. But nothing looked familiar. It was a complete wasteland. Even if they were near where they had been, it would be almost impossible to find their way back.

The months went on. The huts were built. The garden was flourishing. And they couldn't be happier to be back on the ground.

As happy as they could be.

After they set up their little settlement, they spent the majority of their time trying to find the bunker and Becca's lab.

But they had no luck.

One day, a year and a half after landing, Bellamy was sitting silently in his hut when something inside of him snapped. He stood up abruptly and stalked out into their campsite.

Raven's head shot up.

"I'm going to look around." Bellamy said.

"Someone should go with you." Murphy nodded standing up.

But Bellamy shook his head, "No. I have to do this alone."

And he took off into the woods. He wasn't sure how long he wondered but it must have been hours.

He let out a scream of frustration and sunk down onto a log with a thud.

He rubbed his eyes aggressively and took a deep breath before raising his head.

There was just the tiniest bit of green peeking through the brown.

Bellamy's eyes widened and he stood up pushing past some dead brush was met with green.

Lots of green.

A twig snapped to his right and he took a defensive stance as he turned to face his aggressor.

"Clarke?