A/N:
Hey Everyone! This is my first ever story that I am putting out. I do not own any of the characters created by Kurt Sutter (just my own characters) I Hope you all enjoy it and let me know what you think!
Chapter One:
When they say your life can change in a blink of an eye I never knew how true that could be. 28 and widowed. Everything that was even remotely familiar was gone. Tom was everything to me. I left everything behind to move well of 2,000 miles to Detroit for cancer to strike and take away the only normalcy I ever had in life.
I met Tommy my freshmen year at Berkeley. He was a senior and already had a job lined up with one of the Big 3 car companies in Detroit. Tom's life was everything I ever wanted in my life but never had. A close-knit family, all American, white picket fence. I envied the life he was given.
I on the other hand, what a disaster. I grew up in a small town called Charming California My mother who was doped up most of my toddler life and my father was a founding member of a motorcycle club that basically ran the town. My father knocked up my mom when he was 50 and she was in her early 20's. My Grandparents and aunt practically raised me because of how unstable those two were. Even putting the two together didn't make up for one parent. I mean, who wants to be known as someone who is referred to as 'The Pimp'
I felt like that played a huge part into why I was so attracted to Tommy. He was normal. He accepted everyone no matter what. Even someone like me who lived the life I had. I left Charming at 19 to be with Tommy in Detroit and never looked back. We Married when I was 23 and three days before my 27th birthday Tommy got diagnosed with Acute Leukemia. The doctors didn't have much worry about it at first. Said with a healthy dose of Chemo and Radiation it should be fine. By Fall everything took a turn for the worse we were in and out of the hospital almost weekly by the time Easter came and by the time that August had passed so had Tommy.
After he died I felt a little bit of relief that he doesn't have to fight any longer but I felt a lot 'Where the hell do I go from here?' I gave up everything to move to Michigan and being an independent photographer didn't pay much. The Funeral happened just a week shy of my 28th birthday. My Aunt flew out to be with me. She had convinced to come stay with her in Charming. I hadn't stepped foot in Charming in almost a decade and the idea of leaving the city that I have grown to love with my heart killed me. But I needed to get away even momentarily to get away from the memory of Tommy and try to figure out how to start over.
A few weeks after I buried my husband I Sublet our loft. 10 years of memories sat in a storage facility as I took one more glance around the place we called home. Everything came crashing down so quickly but at this point in my life I felt like it was moving in slow motion. I took a deep breath and headed out to the Uber that was waiting to take me to Detroit Metro airport.
I can't believe I let my Aunt convince me to do this. To come back to the place I avoided and hated. As I tried to keep my composure and not having a breakdown to the poor driver who was trying his best to make small talk I tired answering in smaller words. After arriving to the airport and taking the 40 minutes It took to get through security and the hour wait to board the plan. I made it to my seat thankfully the guy who was sitting in my row had the aisle seat leaving a space between us.
As the plane was getting ready to take off I put on my earbuds and curdled into the blanket that still had Toms familiar smell on it. As I started my music the first song of course to pop on was our wedding song. A quite sigh and 'fuck' escaped my mouth as Dave Grohl started singing
"Hello, I've waited here for you, everlong tonight I throw myself into out of the red out of her she sang".
I took a deep breath as I stared out the window. I started playing with my wedding ring as I stared out the window quietly sobbing as we took off. All of it was becoming very real and that my life would never be what it was.
17 hours, 2 layovers, and one delay later I had made it to Stockton Metropolitan Airport. I couldn't believe that I was here. As the plane landed I felt like I could throw up. I vowed I'd never come back and here I was. As I got to the luggage gate there in the crowd was my Aunt Rosie waiting for me. She may have stood all of 5 feet but my aunt Rosie was a badass. I always admired her no bullshit attitude and standing for her convictions. She grabbed me tight and gave me a hug that I didn't want to let go of.
"Welcome home Jo." She said with a smile as she kissed my cheek. "It's strange to be back" I said looking around the airport which I'm pretty sure has no changed since I left here "pathetic isn't it?" Rosie responded with a laugh. "Let's get your bags kid" she said as she swept some hair behind my ears
When my luggage was finally released I grabbed my two black suitcases and we headed out. "Let's go home first you can shower and get yourself together. We can grab something to eat and then I have to take the car in" Rosie said. "Teller-Marrow?" I asked hoping she was going to say no. "Only place I trust" Rosie responded. She obviously knew it bothered me as I let out an annoyed sigh. As we pulled into town absolutely nothing has changed. I leave for ten years and come back to the same similar small-town USA.
As we pulled into the driveway of what use to be my grandparents home and now my aunts a slew of memories just flashed before my eye. When I got out of the car I turned I turned and stared at the sidewalk. The memory of my grandpa showing me how to ride a bike popped into my head. I just remember this so vividly because my dad after weeks of not seeing me showed up to the house and my grandpa lost it. I remember him just yelling about how he wasn't a father and couldn't take care of his family. That's the first real memory I have when I started to hate my father. Gramps was right. He couldn't take care of me.
"Jo?" Rosie said breaking my concentration "you just going to stand on the grass staring like a crazy person or are you coming in?" I shook my head slightly to get it together and walked toward the house. As I stepped into the door it was like time stood still. Rosie has done nothing with the house since my Grandma died. It was still something out of the 70's. As I walked to the room that once was mine nothing was different. Everything was in the place that I had left it in. It was like waiting for the day that I would return. I unpacked quickly and jumped into the shower. I let the water hit me and after traveling for almost an entire day it felt good. I did my makeup light and natural for the most part and my signature black eyeliner around my eyes. I decided to just let my hair air dry I through a little mouse in to help control the ridiculous amount of frizz if I didn't.
After I threw on my favorite black floral dress, jean vest, and ankle boots I was finally ready to face my past. I grabbed my purse and headed into the living room where Aunt Rosie was enjoying her famous combination of bourbon and a Virginia slim. "Rosie" I said as I stared at the dark-haired woman drinking "it's noon" I said letting out a chuckle. "Bottoms up" she said as she threw back the rest of her drink. "Let's go kid" she said grabbing her purse.
When we arrived at Hana's diner we took a seat at the counter. The waitress came over "pastrami on rye for me and whatever the kid wants" my aunt said pointing at me before taking a drag from her cigarette "Rosie I tell you every single time that you cannot smoke in here" the waitress proclaimed as my aunt grunted and put out her cigarette. I just stared at the waitress baffled. "Um just the soup thanks" I responded. Just then the bell on the door to the diner dinged and walked in a familiar face. Wayne Unser the towns police chef walked in. He was always such a sweet man but his hands were in SAMCROs pockets. He caught me sneaking out to a party in high school and caught me with weed but because of the SAMCRO connection he never brought me in or even told my grandparents about the incident.
"Rose" he said taking a seat next to me. "Wayne" my aunt responded giving him a look that could kill. "I'm sorry you must be new around here I'm Wayne Unser police chief here in Charming." He spoke putting his hand out for me to shake. "yeah actually I already know who you are" I responded taking his hand. He stared at me for a second puzzled trying to figure out who I am and then it hit him "Josephine?" Oh my god it's been so long" he said giving me a hug. "Have you aged a bit since I left this town?" I asked him . "I'll always be devilishly handsome" he responded giving a good chuckle. "I heard about your husband Tommy. I'm so sorry about what happened" he said putting his hand on my shoulder. I let a small smile appear on my face. I better get used to this because I'm sure it his wont be the last time someone brings up Tommy.
"Thanks Wayne" I responded just in time for the waitress to bring me soup. The timing couldn't have been any better. "If you need anything let me know. If your looking for work Teller-Marrow is always hiring" he said with a serious look "thanks but no thanks. I don't know how long I'll be in town for plus I think the last thing I need to be is on SAMCROs payroll" I said turning back to my soup. The rest of lunch was quiet and awkward. Aunt Rosie and Unser talked and I ate trying to not engage in conversation, By the time the bill came Unser grabbed it and paid it before I ever got a chance to pull out my wallet. I thanked him and gave me a nod "don't be a stranger he said" and I smiled,
It was now time to face the club. I haven't been to Teller-Morrow since the day before I left for Michigan. As we pulled into the yard my heart sank. My pops helped build this place and now he sits in Stockton because of his actions with this club. I had a huge love/hate for SAMCRO. On one hand with my fathers absent presences these men always looked after me and took care of me. They brought me Christmas and birthday gifts always passing them off as if they were from my father. On the other hand, they were the reason for my childhood. For my absent parents.
My mother was what was termed as a croweater. She was a junkie who hung out with the club. She probably slept with almost everyone in the club at the time but was lucky enough to get knocked up by my dad. I remember my mom being in and out of sobriety. The last time she was clean was around my 11th birthday. She made me a beautiful cake and we spent the night signing Janis Joplin songs and giggling. Two month later she relapsed and died of a heroin overdose.
We we neared the office I saw Gemma standing in the window. Gemma was both one of the most loving yet terrifying people I've ever met in my life. She was the wife of Clay who became president of the MC after JT her former husband had died. I remember one time I was probably about 6 or 7 Gemma fought my mother. I remember Gemma punching her in the face because she was so doped up and screaming that she was a 'junkie whore'
As I got out of the car Gemma was headed straight to me with a big smile on her face "welcome home baby" she said as she pulled me in for a tight hug. Her forehead pressed to mine as she started into my green eyes "you look so beautiful Jo. God it's been so long." She said as she grabbed my hands. "It's been too long Gem" I said as a squeezed her hand. She gave me a look that ensured me she wasn't going to bring up recent events and I smiled. I appreciated her understanding of not being ready to fully talk about something. I looked around the yard "god this place is the only thing in this damn city that changed" I said jokingly but the place was built up it looked legit.
"I like the playground aspect it says we might kill you but we're a friendly place for children" I said laughing "there's that Janowitz sarcasm" Gemma said, "it's for my grandson" I looked at her surprised "grandson? Jax had a kid?!" I was shocked. Jax was never the father type. "Yeah I'll fill you in later about him" she said as she started walking to the club "follow me" she said waving me towards her. I looked back at aunt Rosie "go ahead" she said waving her hand "I'm gonna get one of these hot young things to take me home" I shook my head at that comment and went ahead towards Gemma.
I was greeted by an unfamiliar guy. He was probably around my age or younger. Hispanic looking. He Introduced himself as juice. He was cute he had such an innocence about him so much that it felt off that he was even here. Around the corner came out 3 men who I had known all too well. "Holy shit" the taller man proclaimed "gentlemen, look what the cat dragged in" he said as the other two men peered at me. "God, you guys got old" I said breaking the silence as the men approached. One after another I hugged the men as they kissed my forehead. "Half sac!" Tig yelled "pour this woman a drink and don't stop until she throws up" he said as another man appeared going behind the bar "what can I get you?" He asked, "whiskey neat" I responded, "just like your father" Chibs said
As we sat down at one of the tables Half Sac came from around the bar with my drink "thanks Half Sac is it?" I asked, "how did you get that name?" I looked at him puzzled "NO!l" the other four men in the room yelled. "Sometimes it's better just not to question" replied Tig.
A few hours and several drinks later had passed. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and as I did I heard a motorcycle approach and someone coming into the clubhouse proceeded by a door slamming. I didn't think too much of it. As I came out of the bathroom Tig was waiting for me "wanna join me outside for a smoke?" I hadn't touched a cigarette in years but I was feeling the alcohol and thought why the hell not. As we walked outside I headed towards the playground "where are you going" he asked I just smiled and kept walking until I approached the swing. I sat down as Tig Leaned his back on the side of the playscape. He light two cigarettes and gave me one
As I took the first satisfying drag out of my cigarette I noticed Tig was looking back from me to the ground after a few moments of silence he finally spoke "Listen Jo, I know it's none of my business." I knew exactly what he was going to talk about "then don't make it your business Tig" I quickly cut him off. "I get it. I get your angry with him trust me I know. You've been dealt a pretty fucking shitty hand in life" He said taking a seat on the ground in front of me "But I just think it would be good if you went up to Stockton to see your pops" I just kind of stared at Tig as he looked at me with pleading eyes "I know he misses you and if you were deciding to go you know we'd be here for you." He handed me the rest of his beer as I nodded my head taking in what he said, "Thanks for the offer Tig" I started to respond "But I just don't think that will happen" I said giving a slight shrug.
"TIG" Juice yelled across the parking lot Tig looked at me "don't stay out here too long" He said handing me another cigarette and his lighter. As I lit the cigarette I noticed the sun was setting on Charming. I took a deep breath in closing my eyes for a moment just taking in the day's events. When I opened my eyes, I couldn't help but admiring the newly fall sky colors of orange and pink. As my eyes trailed across the skyline my eyes connected with a figure sitting on the roof of the clubhouse. The man dressed in black with a black backwards hat was staring at me while he smoked. I knew exactly who that was there was absolutely no mistake about that. Why was he just staring at me? I thought to myself. We stared at each other for a moment before my concentration was broken by the sound of a motorcycle pulling in. I broke eye contact to see who was coming up and then quickly looked back at the clubhouse roof, He was gone.
As the tall man got off the bike he gave a loud "what the hell are you doing here" he said with a shit eating grin on his face as he approached "I thought I'd come back just to make your life hell" I said smiling as I playfully punched the man in his arm.
"How you holding up Ope?" I asked. Six months before Tommy died Opies wife Donna was shot and killed. He rubbed his hands on his face "ahh you know, just living" he said with a half-smile "I guess we got this dead spouses thing going for us." He stated in one of those half joking but completely serious manner. "Yeah if one more person gives me the I'm so sorry look I might lose it" I stated taking the last hit of my cigarette before smashing it with my foot. "Yeah that never ends unfortunately" Opie said as he lightly patted my back. "Let's go in, it's getting cold and you have goosebumps" He said guiding me into the clubhouse.
As he approached the doorway I looked at the clock in the office. At that instance, the time difference and the somewhat jet lag (probably more so the alcohol) was hitting me. "you know what Ope? I think I should be heading home. It's been a long day" he nodded "Let's go I'll give you a ride" He said about to turn towards his bike I stopped him " I think I want to walk. Clear my head" He very hesitantly agreed as he took my cellphone and put his number in there "you let me know the moment you get home." He said before he kissed my forehead "I'm glad you're back" "bye Ope" I said turning and heading to the street. It had gotten dark so quickly and I headed home. I didn't even get half way down the street before I heard a motorcycle getting close. I stopped as I saw it approaching me. There he was the man from the roof. "What the hell are you doing?" He asked folding his arms against his chest. "well I guess it would appear that I am walking" I said putting my hand on my hip. He rolled his eyes "get on" he said handing me his helmet "Why should I?!" I said as my voiced raised "You couldn't even say hi!" I said angrily he sure was pissing me off "and you couldn't even say goodbye!" He shot right back at me. That stung I felt that 'pit of the stomach feeling' when someone says something that just hurts
"Jax…"
