AN: This story is taken from Jack Bristow's POV, and I really have no idea how it will turn out or how long it will be… as a warning, it might kind of ramble since I have no real plan.

Disclaimer: Same old, same old



I love my daughter. I know that might be hard to tell judging by my actions over the years, but it's true. From the moment Laura told me we were having a baby, I fell completely in love with my little girl.

My little girl… I have to smile at that, because I know Sydney would hate it if I called her that. She's always been more than capable of taking care of herself. I suppose that's one of the reasons why Sloane recruited her. If I'd had any idea he was going to do that, I would have done everything in my power to prevent it from happening. This was not the life I imagined for my daughter when she was young.

Over the years I've worked hard to keep her from my way of life. I never told her what I did, especially when I became a double agent. I didn't tell her about her own mother, partly because that would have required telling her how I know.

The other reason is that she needed someone in her life that she could look up to. Because of the way I'd distanced myself from her, I couldn't be that person. I let Laura be that person, even though I knew that she was not the woman Sydney believed her to be. One of the most painful things I've ever had to do is look her in the eye and tell her that her beloved mother was a traitor. I saw the pain flash across her face… the hurt that the parent she'd believed in had been the wrong one.

I'll admit it hurt me to know that she doubted me. Part of my wanted to yell at her and say "I'm your father, I love you!" On the other hand, I understood her reasoning. Once again, it was simply a result of me doing my job too well.

I've never been more proud than I was when Devlin told me that Sydney had turned double. More proud, or more afraid. I was so proud that I had raised my daughter to have the integrity to do the right thing. But of course I was terrified that something would happen, that she would get caught.

It didn't make me feel any better when I heard her handler was a junior agent with little experience. I wanted to go straight to Ben and demand that he put someone else on the case, but I held back. Maybe I was wrong about Vaughn. But then I saw the attraction, the immediate attachment between them, and I was sure that he was going to get her killed. I know that the comments I made to both of them did not endear me to either one.

But as I watched (very very closely) I realized that his friendship was giving her the strength to do her job, and do it well. She needed to have someone to talk to, and as much as I wanted to be that person for her my previous role dictated that I could not. I also noted that his concern for her made him more careful with her life. Whereas a more distant handler would have made reckless decisions that might have put her in danger, he thought everything through carefully, taking the safest course because it was important to him that she make it home safely. I couldn't object to someone watching out for her like that. No, he didn't always make the right choice, but he tried and that was what mattered to me.

And this whole mess with the prophecy… I can't remember when the last time I asked for a personal favor from Ben was, but I did this week. I needed to know that everything possible had been done to keep Sydney out of the hands of those nutcases from the DSR. Counting on years of friendship and trust, I asked him to go after the code key, placing my daughter's future in his hands. In the end it didn't matter and now I'm faced with a question. What is the best way to get her out of this mess?

So you see, every decision, every action I've taken with Sydney in her life has been done out of love. Because no matter how hard it might be to believe, all I want for her is the best.