A/N: Just a Severitus Christmas special that I was inspired to write after reading a Halloween related Severitus fic. Merry Christmas. Reviews and favourites are always welcome.
"Oh Severus, stop being such a spoilsport! It's Christmas for goodness sake!" Professor Flitwick scolded him while he levitated a golden bauble up to be stuck onto the Great Hall Christmas tree.
Severus Snape rolled his eyes and smirked. He hated Christmas. It was the same boring nonsense that happened every year – the tacky decorations, the forced displays of jolliness, the annoying songs, the shallow materialism where students would come back after the holiday to brag to their friends about the best gift they had received from mummy and daddy. It was nauseating. Severus would have preferred to spend December is some foreign country with a warmer climate that did not celebrate such a mundane custom. When Flitwick asked him if he would be attending the lunchtime feast on Christmas day, he responded that he would have rather drown at the bottom of the lake outside to be feasted upon by the giant squid.
Professor Flitwick mumbled, "It's not even like you have anywhere else better to go. Some Christmas cheer might do you some good."
"Thanks but no thanks," Severus told him, "Besides, I'm behind on marking the fifth year's assignments."
"That's your excuse?!"
This was not exactly true. The truth was that there was somewhere else far more important for him to be at this time.
On the morning of Christmas day, Severus apparated onto the same doorstep he had visited every Christmas for the last eight years. Nothing much had changed about the place, with the exception of a new wreath that now said 'Seasons Greetings from Vernon, Dudley and Petunia' instead of just 'Merry Christmas'.
He hesitated before knocking, as he did every year. However this year, he heard the locks click and the door swung open. The boy had been waiting for him again this year.
The skinny ten year old smiled with glee at the sight of him and looked him over from head to toe, "I thought you would never come."
Severus smiled back; it was one of his rare genuine smiles. "Of course I would come, it's Christmas for you too Harry."
Severus brought out a wrapped package and gave it to him. The present was frantically ripped with speed only a child on Christmas could 's expression was priceless. Harry opened his mouth in awe and leaned over to hug him at the waist.
"Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson and A Series of Amazing Logic Puzzles. I haven't read these. Thank you so much, Sam. Now come in, the people around Little Whinging aren't kind towards those who are different and you are the only person I have ever know of who wears a black cloak."
In all truth, Harry would have probably been happy to receive anything as long as it wasn't a worn hand-me-down pair of socks from Dudley. Unlike many other children his own age, Harry knew he was lucky to be receiving anything at all. Besides, books were the only thing that Dudley was assured not to steal from him. Severus found the gratitude humbling. A smaller part of him felt that it was unusual for him to display any sign of affection, especially towards children.
"I hope your family has been treating you kindly this year," he said as he stepped into the living room of 4 Privet Drive. Nothing had changed beyond the usual Christmas decorations and maybe another Dursley family portrait as well as more pictures of their blond son who seemed to be growing chubbier each year. Severus scrunched up his nose; he despised Petunia and how poorly she treated her sister's own child while spoiling her own son to the ends of the earth. Lily would have been heartbroken if she saw how her sister was treating Harry. He had disliked Petunia since they were both children, not only because she was a muggle but he could tell she was a bad egg.
Severus understood how it felt to be starved, not only of food but of human kindness. He could see it in the boy. His own childhood was much of the same, only the boy had not grown spiteful as he had but the damage took the form of fear and sorrow instead. Harry had his mother's gentle spirit.
Harry didn't respond immediately, the boy obviously wasn't comfortable with an honest answer. "I try to be good. They are spending Christmas with Aunt Marge this year in Spain."
"Did they leave you any presents?"
The boy lowered his head in shame, "They said they would bring me back something. That usually means that they aren't happy with me this year."
"That's not fair. What happened?"
Harry hung his head down low, "I think it's because I got better grades than Dudley this year. I'm one of the best in my year while Dudley is taking remedial classes. Mrs Brown even gave me a jar of jellybeans which I have been hiding for the last couple of weeks. All the really good students at school were given jars of jellybeans as awards."
Severus frowned and patted the boy's hair, "Well, I am proud of you for doing so well. There is nothing to be ashamed of in regards to being smart."
Since he was five years old Harry had been left in the house by himself over the three days of Christmas with nothing but a few bottles of water and some dried food. When the boy was younger, he would do nothing but cry until Severus came for him. Now the boy was older and he did not feel the same loneliness. Rather, Harry felt relieved to not have them around. Besides, he knew his mysterious friend Sam would come to cheer him up every year.
"Can we go to the big park in Greater Whinging? I haven't been there in a long time." Harry asked hopefully.
Snape smiled again, "We can do whatever you want to do. Today is Christmas."
"Yes!" Harry beamed. The boy ran to open the cupboard under the stairs to grab out his cheap winter gear.
Severus walked with Harry to the park in Greater Whinging hand in hand. Although there were no muggles passing them on the street and very few cars passing by, Severus still thought it necessary to cast a concealing charm. Nobody could see them together. Harry didn't know that and was disappointed when one of his teachers didn't wave to him when she drove by.
"She can't see you or me," Severus told him when he noticed the little boy's disappointment, "We're invisible together. It's for our protection."
Harry was more than old enough to understand that their time spent together was meant to be secret. However, Harry was by nature a very curious (if not nosy) boy and would usually bombard Severus with questions.
"I hate being invisible, Sam." Harry said with his head hung low, "I am invisible every day, with or without magical powers. I'm just a freak."
Severus frowned, "There is nothing wrong with being a 'freak', Harry. You're not alone. Us freaks tend to stick together."
"Are there other people who are magical besides us? Are they bad? It that why we need to be invisible?"
Severus stopped for a moment. The boy must have supposed that they were the only magical people in the world. He didn't realise that Harry had never asked him this question. Petunia hated anything magic just as much as she resented her witch sister. The Dursleys wouldn't have even told him that he was a wizard.
"Yes, there are many people who magical like us. Some are good but others can be bad. That's why we are hiding." That part wasn't completely true, he simply did not want potential muggle interference, "But you don't need to worry about them for now. Witches and wizards live in a society separate from non-magical people for the protection of both groups. You'll get to meet magical children your age when you get your acceptance letter to Hogwarts on your eleventh birthday. You won't have to see the Dursleys for months. Life does get better Harry. Trust me."
Harry seemed to think for a minute before asking, "Why am I magical?"
Severus explained, "You are magical because your parents were magical."
"Sam, were my parents good magic people?"
"You mother was the most amazing witch I have ever known with the biggest heart. Your father…" Severus fought with himself to give an answer, "He became a better man."
"My parents didn't die in a car crash. I'm not stupid. The scar on my head couldn't have been caused by a car crash."
Severus didn't really think it was appropriate to tell Harry the complete truth - not on Christmas, "No, they didn't die in a car crash."
"Sam, why are you so nice to me? Tell me the truth."
He was at a loss to explain this one. In this case, he knew that he could not lie. There was no way to get around the truth this time.
He bent down on his knees to face Harry, "Your mother and I had an affair. That was before you were born."
Harry seemed confused by this. Severus used legilimency to find out that the boy only recalled the time his Aunt Petunia gossiped with a group of her friends that she had found out that one of her other friends had been having an affair with a postman. Harry also recalled that they all laughed but he had no idea what 'having an affair' meant.
He and Lily reconciled after they had both left school but they knew they were not on the same sides and could not be together. He was a Death Eater and she was a Muggleborn. He had saved her life numerous times and she had done the same for him. However, she told him that she needed to marry James Potter and before he knew it, she had a son called Harry. Severus had felt betrayed and the fact that it was vile Potter that she had ran off with hurt him. He didn't understand, Lily had told him numerous times that she disliked Potter even after Hogwarts.
"We're the only people here, Sam!" Harry exclaimed as they finally arrived at the park. Severus did not realise (but wouldn't have cared anyway) was that the park was supposed to be closed on Christmas Day. Severus removed the invisibility charm; he didn't if anyone saw them here.
Severus helped Harry build a snowman by hand; it turned out to be a difficult task as the snow was too icy so Severus showed Harry how to build one using magic. Harry was amazed.
"Watch this, Sam!" Harry called out to him. Sam watched as Harry raised his finger and a snowflake formed from the end of his finger tip. The snowflake then drifted away into the cold air. Harry then made another one. "I taught myself this trick the other day."
"Good work," Severus smiled. Harry obviously had powerful magical potential that would have grown much stronger already if the Dursleys didn't scold his abilities.
Severus checked if there could have been any muggles or spies watching upon them before bringing out his wand. Harry would be getting the best ice castle for Christmas. A small fort started to develop from the snow. As much intricate detail was put into the ice building as Severus could manage so it could look like a miniature castle, as close to Hogwarts as he could make it. Severus had made sure the mini ice-castle was just big enough for them to sit inside.
"Are most grown up magic people as good as you? Will I be that good after I attend magic school?" Harry exclaimed.
"Only a few are as talented as me I'm afraid," Severus replied in his usual haughty tone. Out of anyone, he wanted his own son to be impressed by his skills. "With dedication and study, you can be a powerful wizard as well."
After a game of throwing snowballs at each other, Harry was ready to eat. So they both crawled inside the ice castle to eat some turkey and roast vegetables for lunch that he summoned from the Hogwarts' kitchen, Harry ate like a rabid dog. All Severus did was watch him with a smile.
"When Aunty makes turkey, it's usually really dry and salty. This turkey is delicious."
"I'm glad you think so. It came from Hogwarts."
"Will I be able to eat like this every day?"
"Really good food only comes on special occasions, but the food is generally great."
They resorted to throwing more snowballs at each other around the glistening ice castle while Severus spent a great deal of the afternoon answering the hundreds of questions about the magical world that Harry asked, just like he had done for Lily when they were young.
"Do fire-breathing dragons actually exist?" "Of course, there are even many different species of them."
"What about unicorns?" "Yes, but they usually prefer women over men."
"Will I be able to meet a unicorn and a dragon?" "I believe you will be introduced to unicorns at Hogwarts during your Care of Magical Creatures lessons. Dragons on the other hand are ferocious beasts and I presume would be too dangerous."
"Will there be other kids there that haven't been raised in the magical world?" "There will be kids who have non-magical parents and possibly others like yourself who have been raised without knowing about magic. You won't be alone."
"When will I be able to learn magic that will allow me to fly?" "Within time. Most people like to fly on brooms. There is a game called Quidditch that people play on brooms. You might even get to play it when you attend Hogwarts."
Dumbledore had discovered their affair about three month after Lily had died during his regular check-ups on how the Dursleys were treating Harry. Apparently she had used appearance concealing charms to make the infant Harry resemble Potter. When she died the charms disappeared, leaving a young Harry who looked absolutely nothing like Potter. When Albus performed a paternity spell, he immediately hounded Severus for an explanation. Severus replied that he honestly did not know but gathered that she must have married Potter as a disguise. He only wish she had told him.
He was saddened by the fact that he could not take the boy and raise him as his own. As much as he understood how having him raise Harry would be detrimental to Albus' plans and Harry's protection, he despised that Harry was raised by people who resented him. He didn't really even care that Lily's blood protection that transferred to Petunia would assure his safety as he was growing up. The biggest tragedy of his life is that he could never be with the two people he loved the most: the only woman who would ever love him and their bright, sensitive son.
As it became nightfall and Harry became tired, it was time to give him dinner then return him to Privet Drive. Severus' thoughts returned to the fact that it was now Severus' responsibility to cast new appearance concealing charms. Albus had left him with the responsibility of slowly altering Harry's appearance to make him resemble a man he was of no relation to. It was one of the few areas of magic that he succeeded Albus in. He was so good at changing appearances that the spells would only break slowly after Severus' death.
Over the years he had altered Harry's appearance in a way that nobody would even notice, the spells were slow acting and he only saw the results the next year he saw Harry again. Something that was achievable seeming that the Dursleys kept no pictures of Harry as keep sakes. He started with changing Harry's naturally lanky physique to something that resembled a champion seeker. It was now time to finally change some more of the final features that he was reluctant to change; he hated having to forcibly change the boy from who he naturally was, a mixture of Lily and himself, to that of Potter. Potter had succeeded in dominating him from beyond the grave.
Last year he decided to finally change Harry's soft wavy hair to a rougher texture that resembled Potters (it reminded him of how much he hated the way Potter use to arrogantly ruffle his hair). This year it was final, one trait of the real Harry would remain as Albus had ordered for him to do. He had to decide whether he wanted to change the hair from being mousy brown which the boy inherited from his mother Eileen or to keep the green eyes that were windows into a similar soul as Lily's. He knew what choice he would have to make. Severus had to admit that he was good at his task, perhaps a little too good. Maybe people would become suspicious of the fact that Harry looked too similar to James Potter to be true.
As they walked the streets and Harry was busy admiring the Christmas lights on the houses they passed, Severus muttered the chants under his breath. Harry's hair would be dark by the time he would be boarding the Hogwarts express. It was only at this last change that Severus felt a wave of anguish and pain. He would hope that it would be this feature that would spark some deep unconscious recognition. After tonight, Albus would obliviate his memory for assurances. The next time Severus would see the boy would be during the first year sorting ceremony. Severus knew that from the moment his eyes would see the resemblance between the boy and James Potter, he would hate the boy. He would possibly die without ever knowing that Harry was his son. Life was not fair.
"Sam, why are you crying?" Harry asked him with a worried expression on his face.
Severus looked deep into the boy's emerald eyes, and then bent down to hug him.
"Harry, promise me that whatever happens just know that deep down I will always care about you. Even when it seems as though all hope has been lost."
"Ok. I promise." Harry whispered into his ear.
"I'm privileged to have such an amazing son. I really wish it could have been possible for you to live with me, you shouldn't have been forced to put up with the Dursleys."
"In that case, I'm privileged to have such an amazing dad."
Severus wished he could hold onto those words forever.
He loved their child just as much as he loved Lily and it was a privilege to watch him grow. Even if neither of them would go on to remember their true relationship. Just as Harry's scar was a result of Lily's love for Harry, there was a mark of Severus' love for Harry. Severus was the only adult who deeply cared about Harry. Harry was the only child he would ever gain so much affection from. Even without memory, the effects of kindness would still left deep marks on each other. No matter how bitter and resentful Severus was towards life and other people, no matter what he had previously done, there was evidence that there was good in him.
Later on he would have to take Harry back to the Dursleys' home and obliviate all of Harry's memories that involve him. He would also drink far too many firewhiskies while stumbling all the way back to Hogwarts. Severus knew that Albus would erase all of his memories relating to Harry including his relationship with Lily. He would lose the best moments of his life. It would all be sacrificed for the greater good.
Tomorrow, the Dursleys would come back to Privet Drive where they would continue to neglect Harry while he would be marking the fifth year's assignments with a heavy hangover. Neither of them would have any memory of this day.
But for the meantime, Severus would enjoy looking at Christmas lights with Harry and even stay out long enough to watch some early fireworks as well as enjoy some more Christmas food from Hogwarts. There was nothing that Severus could do other than savour the present. Their time together was more precious than all of the gold in Gringott's.
Severus remembered the ice castle he had built Harry. The sparkling ice castle that he had created for the both of them would be admired by muggles passing by before melting into oblivion in the spring, but that did not mean that the castle had never existed.
Harry pulled his head out of the pensive in disbelief. It was something that he had never expected, not in his wildest dreams. The bottle that contained the memory had been labelled in Dumbledore's handwriting 'For Harry Potter, once the war is over this memory will be shown to you and Professor Snape.'
Harry had been surprised to discover a week after the Battle of Hogwarts that he had inherited all of Snape's old belongings for whatever reason, among the belongings was this flask. Maybe Snape did know about their relationship as a Headmaster of Hogwarts.
Harry began to cry. Severus, his father, had sacrificed everything for him. He really was the bravest man he had ever known. He decided to watch more of the Christmas memories filled inside the flask. Memories of 'Sam' began to resurface and make him smile. He would have to go back to Privet Drive one more time to recollect all of the books that Sam given him, especially the ones where he left notes addressed from him.
He had many choices about what to do next. He decided it was only right to allow the Severus' concealing charms to fade and allow himself to return back to what he originally looked like. Besides, he after the war was now finished; he desired something that would give him some anonymity. His hair was already lightening in colour and his body becoming taller and thinner. A more difficult question was whether he wanted to tell people, he didn't see why he should share that knowledge with anyone except those dearest to him. His fame was only going to skyrocket and it would be harder for him to have secrets.
More than anything he wanted to preserve his father's memory. It wouldn't have mattered to Severus if anyone knew that he had a son, only that they recognise his true allegiance. That's the least he could do for a man that had sacrificed so much. He was proud to be Severus' son.
