Elizabeth Bailey
Words of Sorrow
"She cheated! Carmen cheated Alice. I can't believe she would do that to me to us."
"Shane, you cheated first and she took you back. You also told her that she could and you wouldn't bother you." Alice says to me.
Deep down I know that Alice is right; this is my fault. I did tell her that it wouldn't bother me. So, I guess I had it coming.
"I didn't think she actually would."
"Oh my god!" Alice yells.
"What."
"You are in love with Carmen." Alice says slowly
"What? No I'm not."
"You so are. Why else would you care so much if she cheated on you?"
"I think you might be right. I am in love with Carmen."
Me in love there's something I never expected to happen. I never was in love. How am I supposed to know if what I am feeling is love?
"Alice, how do you know if you are in love?"
Just as I ask Alice, Dana and Lara walked in.
"Hey Shane, we heard Carmen cheated on you. Are you okay?" Dana asks me.
"Shane just realized..."
"Alice shut up." I cut her off before she has a chance to finish.
"Okay fine you tell them then." Alice says disappointed.
"Tell us what." They asked
"I think I'm in love with Carmen, because I can't stop thinking about her I miss her even when I just saw her. I want to be with her all the time."
"Dude, Shane you got it bad." Alice tells me
"Shut up! It's over anyway. I messes up and I lost her. I love her and she'll never love me again. I just want to tell her I love her and that I made the mistake and."
"Don't tell us, tell her." Dana says cutting me off.
"Shane go tell her how you feel, I know Carmen loves you and you love her. The two of you can fix this it will take time but love conquers everything." Lara tells me.
"Jeus, Lara where did that come from?"
"What the hell are you still doing here go! Lara yells at me.
"All right. I'll see you guys later." Yelling to them as I walk out of The Planet."
"Call me." Alice yells to me.
"You really think they will be okay." I hear Dana asked.
"I don't know Sweetie, but they have a lot to talk about." Lara tells her.
As I walk to my jeep my mind, races with what I am going to say to her. I have no idea what I am going to say. She should hate me. I did cheat first. I told her I loved her and I screwed up. She deserves someone so much better then me.
"Wait! What am I thinking I can be that someone." I mumble a loud.
Before I have a chance to really think of what to tell Carmen, I am outside our house.
"Shit I'm here I don't think I have ever been this scared in my life. I have to fix this. Why don't I hate her she did cheat, but it's not like I was all that faithful. If I don't go talk to her now I don't think I will be able to force myself later."
I get of my jeep and slowly walk up to our house.
God I am so nervous. Opening the door I see Carmen seating on the couch, she looks likes she was crying. I run over to her and pull her into a tight embrace. She was crying even harder now.
"Baby? Are you okay?
"Shane?" Carmen manages to get out in between sobs.
"I'm here baby. What's wrong?"
At first, Carmen doesn't answer. She is still crying into my chest.
"Baby look at me." I lift her chin so she I can look into her eyes.
"Shane why are you here? After everything that's happened between us, you came back.
This is not the Shane I know. The Shane I know wouldn't have cared and left." Carmen says to me.
"I've changed Carmen I have. I fell in love with you the moment I met you. I think it took realizing that I lost you for me to come to terms with the fact that I have fallen in love. I never been in love and well I'm scared."
Carmen has stopped crying by now and staring deep into my eyes. God I love those eyes, big pools chocolate. That give away all of her emotions. I can stare into them for hours.
"Shane baby, I'm sorry about what happen. You got so angry; I thought you would never going speak to me again. I cheated and that's not like me. I have never done anything like this. It's hard Shane, to know that I fell for the most unattainable person in the world. I was willing to forgive you after you cheated. I also was willing to help you become monogamist, like birds. Carmen says as she gets up off the floor and getting us tissues.
"Sweetie only you would say something like that." I say laughing "Baby, I was angry. Okay not really angry just hurt and confused. I love you so much and I still can't believe you would take me back after I slept with my ex."
"I didn't want us to wine up like Bette and Tina, after you promised to try and be monogamist."
I so don't want to tern out like Bette and Tina. I just want us to have what they had. I think to myself.
"Baby, you still with me?" Carmen asks bringing back to reality. "Care to tell me what you were thinking?"
"I don't want to be like Bette and Tina, but I want what they had, a love that conquers everything and over seven years of true love. Even now after everything they sill have each other."
"Baby, we can have that. When you first got here I thought you were going to break up with me." Carmen says as she is about to cry again.
"Sweetie, don't cry. I'm not here to break up."
At this point both of us are crying. I hold her tight and never want to let her go.
"Come on love." I pick her up and carry her to bed. "We had a long day, let me just hold you tonight, so you can get some sleep."
"I love you so much Shane." Carmen mumbles as she drifts off to sleep with a smile on her face.
"I love you, too, baby."
We are going to be okay. I still can't believe she thought I was here to break up with her.
More to come I hope.
