P y r i t e
Author's Note:
All rights to the Outsiders goes to S.E. Hinton and all rights to One Step at a Time goes to Four Year Strong. The story itself is by my good friend, Maria, but the writing is all by myself.
X - Sometimes it takes a second to sink in, that your life's never gonna be the same again
Breath in, breath out, it'll be okay...they say the pain will fade away. - X
Just as soon as the dawn kissed the faraway horizon, I manage to rustle out of bed and strut across the living room seeing only in a dazed and blurry vision.
I meandered towards the table, the sound of the screeching of a ligneous chair reverberated as I pulled it back and sat down at the table, holding my head heavenward. I felt as if my head was spinning; recently, headaches like these have been occurring quite frequently.
"I'd best get ready for school," I thought to myself making my way towards the living room to snag my backpack. It was laying on the floor, lathered in a film of dust, with papers sprawled out beside it. I picked them up, the backpack was very light as it was nearly empty for some reason. Upon closer examination, I found out that most of the papers didn't belong to me but to my little brother. Ponyboy may be a smart kid, but I don't think I could ever learn to read such chicken-scratch. Maybe it was because he always wrote so quickly, I wouldn't know, I guess.
After packing all of the books that I thought I'd need, I went back into the kitchen and chugged down the a good two or three cups worth of milk, directly out of bottle.
Not long after, I turned on the stove and the sound of bacon and eggs simmering in heat fully immersed the otherwise mute household. My thoughts eventually start to catch up to me as I yawned, hoping I didn't wake up my little brother.
For some reason, within me was this unsettling feeling that I just couldn't shake off. Maybe it's because of the stress; me and Ponyboy haven't been getting along recently, and Darry's just so tired nowadays. Just the thought of it burned a hole right into my heart and out from my head in the form of a headache. The odd thing was, I didn't even remember why it all began.
What I remember is that all of a sudden, life just got so demanding.
It's all so...confusing, right now. It probably wasn't the best idea to be cooking with an incoming migraine, but I cared not. I still wasn't able to think straight - I wanted to go out for a smoke.
Light footsteps stagnantly approached my direction - I knew who it was.
I grimaced. But his words caught me entirely by surprise. "Hey Mom, what's for breakfast," he spoke, still wiping his eyes and unable to think clearly, like I was at the same time.
Suddenly, the world seemed to just get more...real. It scared the shit out of me: that's why me and Darry have been tired all the time. That's why my backpack was empty, because I don't go to school anymore!
I quit.
Pony realized what he said, but before he could respond, I snapped back at him. "Who the hell are you talkin' to." It was more a threat than question, actually. I didn't know what came over me at the time.
"Shoot, Soda, if I'd known you were gonna act this pissy, I would've stayed asleep," he sputtered, still reeling and swaying lightly from drowsiness. My little brother's indignant expression merely supplemented the bitterness that so greatly stained my face.
Pony's grades dropped a whole lot, and he's been having so much nightmares ever since Mom and Dad...died. I thought that if he stayed with me in my room, things would mend on their own. And it did for a while, but now, I just can't help but just feel sick of him and vice versa. Looking back at him, he looked real old.
At fourteen year-old shouldn't look the way he did right now. His lack of sleep was so evidently signified by the bags that lay comfortably underneath his faded eyes. He looks smaller now and it's gotten Darry sweatin' off something fierce.
The air in our house has gone stale and this time, Mom and Dad won't be here to fix things, not anymore.
"Hell yeah, you should've. It's not like anyone's gonna miss you at school, I certainly wouldn't. And you can go ahead and fail all your classes while you're at it."
"Are you callin' me dumb, Soda?" he was challenging me, not asking.
I only shrugged an said the words, "Nah, what makes you say that?" I looked back at him and gulped. "No shit, smart one. Just 'cause Mom and Dad are gone doesn't mean you can go ahead and let that big, empty head of yours stop thinking."
He was un-phased by my remark. "Oh? And what's your excuse for being so dumb?"
I stopped cooking, and stormed off the kitchen. "If your so smart, Pony, then why don't you go make so food for yourself?" I only said that because I knew that Pony couldn't cook to save his life - he's never had before. Not with me and Mom around, but it's been three months...A long three months without them.
I opened the door to my room and grabbed a towel. I headed to the bathroom, peeled off my shirt and shorts, and started running the water.
"How did we come to this?" I couldn't help but ask. Everything's changed since they died. Darry's not himself anymore, no more partying, barely any time for his friends, it's like he was nineteen-years-old one day, and thirty the next. I stopped attending school, but that's not a surprise in the slightest. In fact, I was thinking about it months ago but Mom never completely agreed to it. And I knew why. Mom and Dad never went college, so they want all of us to have the chance they never did...
I turned off the water and stepped out, right in front of the mirror.
I know why Pony hates me.
But I can't blame him either. I balled up my fist so hard it soon started to ache.
I look just like Mom, and it kills him to see me. Hell, even I can't stand to see me right now. How can we possibly get over Mom and Dad's death if me and Darry are here, living proof of them?
I wanted to punch the mirror, but decided against the idea. With a sigh, I departed solemnly after drying and put on my work clothes.
When I was passing the living room, I noticed a glint of light emanating from underneath the old wooden piano Mom used to play when we were younger. Curious, I wandered towards it and found a gold locket. I recognized it instantly. It was the same locket that Mom would always wear. Inside of it, was a picture of our family when all of us were still around.
...
We looked so happy.
Why?
At first, it deeply consoled me to be reminded of happier days. But I soon found only rancor knowing that we weren't in that picture. No, we've changed so much in such short notice. We were different back then, or at least, we'll never been that way ever again.
I wonder, would we still be smiling, had we known what was to come? I doubt it.
Somehow the idea of giving up school and simply working off to pay off the bills didn't quite strike me as pleasant. It just wasn't fair, why the hell do we have to put up with this when the Socs can do what ever crap they want and still get away with it? Darry shouldn't have to be working like he's a grown man, he should be living his dream in college, through the football scholarship he got. I remember how happy Mom and Dad were when he told them, but even with the scholarship, money would still be tight.
I thought back to the time when Johnny was brutally beaten by them. What did Johnny ever do to them? They blame the fights on us when they're the one's instigating and perpetuating them. Unlike what what the public eye believes, most of us greasers don't fight them for fun! Maybe me and Steve do, but most of us fight because we have to. What choice do we have? Just let them beat us down? Either way, it never stops...
It just never stops...
A tear just splashed over Mom's face as I started to grip the locket with my arm trembling vigorously.
Maybe I could sell it. It's gold, right? It must sell for a good amount, that we wouldn't have to struggle so much and things could go back to normal, for at least a couple months, right? That way, we wouldn't have to put up with all of this crap.
Yeah...
But then, I remembered why Mom and Dad bought this locket in the first place and right eye started to well up.
I wiped the tears out as Darry and Pony came back.
"What cha' got there, Sodapop?"
"It's Mom's locket," my voice was weak. At that moment, all previous tensions were stripped away immediately as we all pondered at the locket.
Dad was born into a poor family just like we were but Mom wasn't. She was part of the middle class, she and Dad fell in love right before they left High School. But her father never approved of their relationship, he had no intention to let his daughter give up her life to be with this poor man with nothing to offer. Well, nothing to offer but his love.
He got into his daughter's head: did she really want to lose her whole future for this one man? Stress from the decision and pressure from both her family and friends who didn't support the two of them force her to make a decision. And in the end, she decided that being with him wasn't best for her and she left Tulsa to go to college.
Years later, Dad had long since given up on finding her. But one day, they met again. Mom had decided to quit college to be with Dad and they both bought the locket as symbol that they'd never leave each other again.
Incidentally, weeks before the car accident, Mom and Dad reached a rough spot. With the bills piling up worse and worse by the month, they started arguing and fighting but they always kept it down with us around. I don't think Pony ever really noticed. But one day, Mom became so upset that Dad was there comfort her. Since then until the car accident, everything seemed to be looking up.
It took until now to finally figure out why Mom was so upset in the first place: she lost her locket.
I thought in amazement how, even in it's absence, the locket was still there binding us together as a family.
Then I remembered something that Mom told me a long time ago.
"Don't be so upset, Sodapop. Take these words to heart: bad things can lead into good things. Bad things will always happen, no one can help that. But dwelling on it won't help. Our best bet is to not let it get the better of us and accept what's happened. Then look forward to a brighter tomorrow, hoping for the best."
Remembering it, I looked back at my little brother. I know that kid's gonna get outta here one day, he has to. His intelligence is too elevated to remain here, forever labeled as a greaser. But I won't be able to share that chance with him. Though, I may never be as smart as Ponyboy will ever be, but God knows that kid can't and won't make it by himself.
No, he needs Darry to be there for him. And he needs me to be there for him too: listening, smiling along the whole way, even if it's just a little. He's gonna need it.
I could see the memories of Mom and Dad flash through my younger brother's eyes. But unlike every other time since Mom and Dad's deaths, a slight grin shined underneath them. Slowly, I pulled him into a hug and the same with Darry.
I'm glad I decided not to tell them about selling it. It meant more to me than any amount of money.
This was real gold.
I grinned too, and I wanted to say something but Darry stole the words right out of mouth.
"It may not be gold, but shines just as bright."
