Raging Quiet

Sequel to "Blissful Silent"

Shadow~

.

Young Master, does it not hurt?

You live your life like every day is your last, and as time passes, you grow impatient, praying for an end to that young soul of yours. Each day for you is torture, because you want to die and yet, yet you plow on regardless of that fact. Do you not think of murdering yourself, of ending this eternal suffering you put yourself through?

Or do you think of that and ignore it because of me?

Yes, I know your true feelings. As the Phantomhive butler, if I am not capable of recognizing my master's agonizing emotions, I am a failure as a servant. Even as a demon, I recognize the reason for your hurting. You are afraid of me, terrified even, though you hide it behind your stark demeanor, living a constant lie.

And yet, even as you are afraid of me, you trust me, more than any other being on the face of this form of your hell. I will always obey you, until the end, and you know this. You order me around with firm demands and foolish complaints, pretending to be someone you are not. But I can see, in that beautiful blue orb of yours, that little bit of child left in you, begging for me to keep you safe from all danger.

Young Master, I know of your deepest, darkest secret. How could I not, being the demon that I am? I see it clearly after a harsh mission, when all you want to do is curl up and cry on my shoulder as I carry your weary body home. You remain stoic and uncaring, but your arms tighten slightly around my shoulders, a slight trembling in your weak form that cannot be stilled.

Young Master, how I wish I could return those hidden emotions to the best of your abilities. If you were only brave enough to order it of me, I would agree wholeheartedly. I would hold you tighter, whisper sweet words into your adolescent mind to ease your troubles. But you, because you order it, would only believe it to be a false lie. Therefore you do not order it, of which I can understand. In this one thing, you are as mature as a centuries-old demon.

Did you know? Those nights which terrify you, when you ask me to stay, I do so even after you fall asleep? Even though I have duties to perform as a servant of your manor, I cannot resist touching your cold cheek, running my gloved fingers through your beautiful locks, kissing your relaxed forehead. You mumble in your sleep, and sometimes, even if only once, you utter my name. It is the most beautiful thing a heartless being such as myself could hear. Ah, how your face would blush bright red if I told you this.

It is my little secret to keep, the depth of your love. Do you know? I love you as well, Young Master. You have broken the boundaries between a contractor and his master. You have forced a demon, one of great value at that, to grow a heart. Even as it pains me, it is somehow wondrous to me. Yes, sometimes I even feel that thing which should have been lifeless pounding inside of me, waking wondrous desires that I can only just restrain. Young Master, I love you as strongly as I wish to devour you.

You ask yourself, day and night, if I would miss you when you were gone. I no longer want to devour that sweet, pure soul of yours. No, I want to cherish it, hold it, and keep it close to this discovered heart for as long as I possibly can.

But you would be enraged, and so I cannot do this. If you would only ask, I would be too glad to grant. You keep your head held high, eyes searching forward, to that time when you will no longer exist to this world.

I only remain silent because of you.

Thus is why the raging quiet in my heart burns so much more than the flames of hell.

Young Master, you make me hurt, so deliciously. You are the first to do this. The only.

Ciel Phantomhive, I will be yours, and yours alone, all the way until the end.