MADGE UNDERSEE

Gone

I wake again

In the middle of the night,

Feeling pain of what's been,

Seeing things as clear as sight.

My mirror reflects all the things I miss.

My mother in my stare,

Seeing all of this,

My father's curly hair,

People fallen into a dark abyss.

All the things that seemed so small,

Dinner in the evening,

Pictures on the wall,

There's such pain in conceiving

They're gone once and for all.

I sit with crumpled clothes,

And a few of our books,

Only glad no one knows,

And sad that no one looks.

I feel as though

I have completely failed,

I already know

I have come derailed.

I can think of no one

Who is left to care,

I can think of no one

Not here or anywhere.

I never knew alone before,

Until this costly fight,

So, I close the door

And try to say goodnight.

I know why I needed this. I haven't spoken about it very much, not by choice. I miss them so much. This feels like the right way to handle this, I can't ever get the words out. I can't talk about it, but its safe here, and it takes some of the pain away.