MADGE UNDERSEE
Gone
I wake again
In the middle of the night,
Feeling pain of what's been,
Seeing things as clear as sight.
My mirror reflects all the things I miss.
My mother in my stare,
Seeing all of this,
My father's curly hair,
People fallen into a dark abyss.
All the things that seemed so small,
Dinner in the evening,
Pictures on the wall,
There's such pain in conceiving
They're gone once and for all.
I sit with crumpled clothes,
And a few of our books,
Only glad no one knows,
And sad that no one looks.
I feel as though
I have completely failed,
I already know
I have come derailed.
I can think of no one
Who is left to care,
I can think of no one
Not here or anywhere.
I never knew alone before,
Until this costly fight,
So, I close the door
And try to say goodnight.
I know why I needed this. I haven't spoken about it very much, not by choice. I miss them so much. This feels like the right way to handle this, I can't ever get the words out. I can't talk about it, but its safe here, and it takes some of the pain away.
