Remembering Old Times
I Don't Own Naruto~ But I Love the Characters this story was mine and my story alone
By: Mikayel~
My days were always hard, lonely and tiring, i can't smile like I use even if i want to, I grow dry and weary day by day, i must be like this because i don't know how to live my life in a normal way anymore. Nevertheless I'm still trying and practicing.
I have been dating someone else, but It's just it feels so different. I have a few friends, our friends; most of them are married and blessed with children.
Actually I was jealous, extremely jealous about how happy they were with their husband or wife with children, I know that it wasn't right to be jealous but sometimes when I'm with them I can't help but to regret that time when I couldn't save my lovers life.
When I'm alone, in our room or in the room where we use to sleep at, I always dream, dream that one day he will just appear in front of me and surprise me with his smile though he don't usually do that., I just want him to be here, I just want to see him because I miss him, I miss him so much.
Until now I still blame myself for his loss, only if I stop him for doing that stupid car race, only if I didn't fall asleep that night, only if he listens to me, then he would still be standing by my side.
It happened on the month of May, dated 27, he handed me his diploma and he opened the door of his car for me, I entered and he closed the door roughly, we were actually quarrelling that afternoon about him joining random illegal racing competitions, obviously I was against it.
He tightened his grip at the steering wheel and I could really feel his anger, it just wasn't me to complain and complain all the way but this time I insist my reasons and he just didn't want to listen.
I miss his cold voice, his dark fiery eyes, and his smirks.
"Please don't go" I beg while staring at his eyes before getting out of his car.
He just smirks, he leaned closer kissed my forehead and there he waves his hands.
I miss listening to his lectures on wearing pants instead of short shorts.
I told myself that it will be alright because definitely he'll listen to me, but that self assurance was not enough.
He told me that he'll comeback as soon as possible and I waited, the food I prepared was still in the table, the lights were still open, and so as the door.
I rolled and rolled on our bed and I waited until I fall as sleep.
I miss listening to his stories, though I know that some of those stories are just fictions. That ever-serious guy.
I was suddenly alarmed for hearing a loud honk, I jumped out of bed and I run outside to check if it was my lover, Uchiha Sasuke.
I miss his warm hugs especially on nights when I'm cold.
I frowned upon seeing his bestfriend, Uzumaki Naruto, his face was a bit disturbed, I wonder why.
I miss it when he smells my pink hair
I rushed my way to the operating room; I can see all of his friends sitting at the bench outside the operating room, shikamaru, neji, and gaara. I looked solemnly at naruto and to the blood stain on his shirt.
Sometimes I miss disagreeing with him; it's just he looks cute when he's annoyed.
How do I breathe? it feels so unusual , my hands and lips were trembling, my eyes were reddish, I must rub them too much, my feet were stuck and my brain went blank, I stood there for hell who knows how many minute trying to collect myself from the shock that naruto brought to me, to why I was here, Why I was freaking here is because of him.
Everything in this world has its destiny and for me it was to meet him, the ill-mannered, jerk and mean guy. But people change, he changes for me and I'm proud of that.
I miss walking with him.
I grip onto naruto's arms when the doctor went out of the room; i took a deep breath and walked near the doctor oddly.
I miss staring at his eyes…
Hysterically, I fell on the ground floor, weakly I closed my eyes, shikamaru stayed silent and bumped his head lightly on the wall, I heard neji's voice saying "damn it" and followed by a loud thud on the wall, gaara stood still widening his eyes, while naruto kneeled griping his pants using his hands, I looked at them one by one.
I miss his kiss…
My hands moved to where naruto's face was.
~SLAP~
Naruto's face turned to side and all of them looks at me abruptly, I stared bitterly at naruto and to all of them.
"sakura…sorry" naruto murmured somberly.
I bowed my head, I tried controlling my emotions, but I can't…its unbearable…
I gripped my chest and the tears just escaped out of my eyes nonstop.
I covered my mouth with my hands and I cried out the hell of me…
Actually, he was my first love though I also want him to be the last, I feel more sad because I know he won't be.
Naruto and the other's tried to calm me down, but I pushed them away even if I feel very weak; I hate them, all of them. Neji was the one who hugged me tight, he was also crying, all of them are crying…
I look at myself in front of the mirror at the hospital, my face were ruined, my slippers weren't the same, my pink hair was in mess, I was broken, but I didn't care.
I could still feel his heart
I went to the morgue to see him; I stood beside his cold lifeless body staring evenly at him. And again, I cried.
If only…he listened to me
"You told me you love me" I whimpered
I held his cold hands fearlessly
"I don't understand" I held them carefully and pressed them on my cheeks.
Until now I cry endlessly.
"I couldn't even say thank you" lips were trembling
I paused…
"for loving me" though my heart is breaking
Desperate for your smile
"Tell me that this was just a dream…huh sasuke…it was just a dream right?" Staying still was the only choice I have
But it wasn't a dream, he died exactly 2am at konoha hospital, the doctor says that the blood circulate in his brains when his head hits the window of his car. There's nothing they could do, there was nothing I could do.
After his funeral naruto, Sasuke's bestfriend, came up to me and he handed me a small box, containing a diamond ring.
I stared at the ring
"Before the race, sasuke showed me this" naruto said looking at the sky
"a diamond ring" I puckered brow a little
Naruto taps my head lightly
"Actually he told me that it was suppose to be his last race, he wants to stop" naruto continued
I looked at him warily
"why?" I asked
"Because he told me that after that race, he'll propose to you" he said clearly
I smiled but that was the hardest smile I did.
"If that happen, I'm going to be the happiest girl you'll guys ever seen" I said with my wrecked voice.
~I placed the fresh flowers I bought near his headstone and seated comfortably on the green grassy ground, the sun was up and it was definitely hot but it was okay, actually there was a big tree that was covering me and his gravestone perfectly. I gazed at the ring on my right hand and sighed softly.
"Do you miss me?" I mumbled while looking at his carved name on the gravestone.
I looked up and stared at the bright blue sky
"Do you know how much I miss you?" I said while resting my chin on my bended knees.
"I miss you like the sun that never gets tired of shining brightly in the sky…because" I paused
"I still love you like the moon that sparkles each and every night…" I moved my back on behind and rested comfortably next to him, like I always do when I still have him.
"I saw naruto on my way here…did he visit you?" I asked as if I was really talking to you.
You always told me to be myself, face the world fearlessly, and keep on dreaming, to have self confidence and even if I get hurt, "Endure it", I will never ever forget those words from you…never.
For you to know, now I always eat on time, I don't drink soda's or liquor anymore, i don't run when crossing roads any longer, I also don't complain anymore even if I wait long and I also sleep on time, though I'm still scared of being alone at night because you know I always had nightmares I'm still practicing being alone. But do you know that I had lost my smile which you loved the most? It's really hard for me to smile, because I have no you anymore.
"He told me that they stopped racing after you died" I continued
"They're all well and have families now…it's been 2 years already" I said with a depressed look on my face…
"Uchiha Sasuke…I miss you" I sighed
I closed my eyes…and prayed silently.
I continued living without the man who completes my life, I continued living though it hurts a hundreds and thousands of times, I continued living while still waiting for my time to be with you again…I continued living because I know…I know you want it to be that way…and for you I'll always carry on.
*Thanks for Reading*
*there I just share my sad love story using sakura and sasuke as the characters*
