LOOK IT'S GOSSIP GIRL. LULZ. WTF.
i actually kind of love this show (despite the fact that i am only six episodes into season one). rufus and lily = pretty much the best people ever. on gg, at least.
i've decided that i am going to call this ship ruffles. it's a cute name.
AND, YES, I AM AWARE OF WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. i read the spoilery wikipedia page and it makes me super happy. (:
so. i'm a gossip girl noob and do not really know the ins and outs of canon backstory. i made this shit up. oh well. xD
Lily hates that song. Of course she'll never admit it, but she hates that damn song he wrote for her. Sure, it's a fine song, and she loves the idea that he actually wrote it for her, but she hates listening to it. It makes her feel small and inadequate and undeserving. She forces a smile every time he plays it live. She hides behind her camera for an hour or so and then kisses him after the show and tells him how wonderful it was. She's not lying… not really. It is wonderful, she just can't appreciate it.
She'll never tell him how she really feels about it, because Rufus wouldn't be able to handle the truth.
-x-x-x-
Lily hides that ancient cassette player in the very back of her cavernous closet. She hardly ever dusts it off and turns it on, but every now and again she makes the time. It's a very rare occasion that she has a moment to herself, between Serena and Bart and… and life. It's too fast, it's too busy, this isn't something she ever truly wanted. There was only one thing she ever really wanted, and that…
Lily only owns one cassette tape. She hardly ever listened to it until after the fact, but maybe that was for the best. That's what she tells herself, anyway. It's that damn song he wrote for her, what, twenty years ago. It still makes her feel small and inadequate and undeserving, but she doesn't hate it anymore. She loves it. It's all she has left of the life she really wanted. It's all she has left of him, because life is stupid now and it ruins everything. Although she wishes there was, there isn't a damn thing she can do about it.
She'll never tell him how she really feels about him, because neither of them would be able to handle the truth.
hm. angsty.
