Rannoch

Shepard-Commander, the Geth only acted in defence after the Creators attacked. Do we deserve death?

Our fleet is attacking! Shepard! You can't choose the Geth over my people!

Do you remember the question that caused the creators to attack us, Tali'Zorah? Does this unit have a soul?

I beg you...please...

We regret the deaths of the creators...but we do not see an alternative.

"No..nobody else dies today." Damian Shepard declared, "Tali! Patch me through to the fleet."

"Upload Progress...40%"

"All ships. This is Commander Shepard. The Reaper is dead. Stand down." Shepard ordered the quarian fleet in orbit, "The geth are about to return to full strength; if you keep attacking, they'll wipe you out."

"This is Admiral Tali'Zorah, Shepard speaks with my authority."

"And mine as well." Admiral Zaal'Koris added from somewhere on the fleet, "Listen to him Gerrel-"

"NO! Keep firing! We have a chance!" Damian's teeth grit as he heard that war-hungry idiot continue with his plans, "All fleets! Continue the attack!"

"Nothing ever changes does it..." Shepard muttered to himself, "I know that you despise the geth, but let me tell you something. If you don't listen to me...you're not the only one who will pay the price. A few years ago, I saved you from the geth at the Citadel. Just recently I helped you take out that dreadnought. But I'm through saving you. If you keep attacking, I will stand and watch as the geth lay you to waste."

"60%"

"Shepard..." Maybe he scared Tali with his threat, Damian knew how much she loved her people. But the situation was really out of either of their hands...all Shepard could do now was appeal to the quarian's reason.

With the Truth.

"Your entire history is you trying to kill the geth!" Shepard stated, "All the Geth have wanted to do is exist as themselves without outside interference. But you wouldn't allow that would ya? You forced them to rebel and it cost you your homeworld; When you destroyed their megastructure, that forced the geth to ally with the Reapers and it's cost the lives of thousands of your people!; And now you want to continue down this path...a path that will lead to the destruction of your people!" The geth don't want to fight you! If you believe that for just one minute, this war will be over!"

"Progress...80%"

"You have a choice. Please...Keelah se'lai." Shepard ended his transmission and waited for a reply. Nearby, Tali stood completely still watching the skies as Legion continued to upload the code and suddenly stopped, "Legion?"

"Upload Software inefficient..." Legion stated while Shepard and Tali quickly realized what that would mean, "Direct Dissemination...required. I must go to them."

"Legion...the answer is yes."

"I know Tali...and thank you...both of you," Damian felt another wound strike his soul as another friend died before his eyes, "Keelah se'lai." Legion's body deactivated, fell to his knees and slumped upon the soil of Rannoch with the sunset gleaming upon his armor.

Then a gunshot echoed through the comm.

"No..." Tali muttered as the comm echoed the sound of Admiral Kolis gasping for air before a bullet broke the glass of his helmet and he breathed no more, "Please...no..."

"That's what happens to geth lovers and traitors..." Admiral Gerrel declared over the comm as Damian wordlessly listened on, "Rannoch is the home of the quarian people and we will not surrender it to the geth! All ships open fire on the Geth or be fired upon!"

"YOU IDIOTS STOP!" Tali tearfully screamed as a Geth Prime approached from the surrounding hills, "Why...why won't they listen..."

"Tell your admiral to cease his attack and your people will be welcome to return to Rannoch with us. Admiral Zorah." The Geth stated as Tali shook in place, "If not, then we will have no alternative but to retaliate in self-defense."

"Shepard please..." Tali begged the Commander, who stood by and looked upon the Geth's face, "They are my people..."

"You and Shepard-Commander provided them an alternative and they have refused. We will allow your people one last chance to cease their attack."

"I'D SOONER BURN RANNOCH THEN LET IT BE SHARED WITH THE GETH!" Gerrel shouted from Tali's Omni-Tool and was joined by the shouts of many supporters, "We will destroy them or be destroyed by them! KEELAH SE'LAI!"

"KEELAH SE'LAI!" The Quarian fleet shouted in unison as the battle was officially rejoined. Already Tali and Shepard could see the skies of Rannoch ablaze with the fires of war.

"So be it." The Geth Prime acknowledged and turned to Shepard, "Once the battle is concluded, we will help you in your War against the Reapers and in the building of the Crucible."

"Once it is concluded...Shepard stop them!"

"How?" Shepard asked, finally turning to Tali with hardened regret, "I tried to save them from the Geth and the Reapers...but I can't save them from themselves."

"The Counterattack has already begun." The Geth Prime stated as Tali looked to the sky, "We regret the destruction of the Creators...but they have left us no other alternative.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As Admiral Gerrel had proclaimed, the Quarian-Geth War would end upon that day in orbit above Rannoch.

However, it would end quicker than he may have hoped.

The Geth Fleet was relentless and merciless in their counterattack. Their upgrades from the Reaper Code restored their programming potential to limits that surpassed their capabilities before the Megastructure was destroyed. Frigates carefully coordinated to divert the fire of heavy ships as dreadnoughts concentrated fire on the capital ships of the Quarian Fleet.

The first ship to be destroyed was the Neema upon the vanguard of the fleet. It's defenses were quickly hacked by Geth hoppers that boarded the hull of the ship and sabotaged the weapons capabilities of the ship. Soon afterwards, the hoppers self-destructed and left the ship vulnerable to assault from a nearby dreadnought. Admiral Gerrel sat in the Captain's chair and aimed a pistol at his head.

He then pulled the trigger seconds before the Neema was obliterated.

The Shellen attempted to abandon the battle as soon as Admiral Koris was executed for treason and the fleet's lines crumbled. But they had left too late, two frigates quickly targeted their systems and fired a pair of EMP pulses at the ship. Once to disable it's shields and the other to disable all systems aboard the ancient ship. Satisfied, the frigates returned to the battle and left the remaining passengers and crew of the Shellen to gasp and suffocate within the crippled ship that would soon be their grave.

The Moreh desperately fought to allow other ships to escape. Admiral Xen wept even as she watched her people cry out on every comm channel and then were silenced ship by ship, link by link. All while she was powerless to stop it. When a single torpedo broke into the command deck of the ship, she did not cry out. She held out her arms to embrace it.

To embrace the sweet release of death.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"This is the Rayya! We are going down! I repeat we are-" Tali shook as the flaming hull of her birthship crashed into the seas of her people's homeworld and soon after came the debris of many other ships.

Her people were dying.

"Shepard..." She removed her mask from it's place on her helmet and turned to face the man she had loved. She then held out her arms and fell backwards off of the cliff overlooking the waters.

"Tali no!" Shepard shouted and leapt for her with his hands outstretched, a blue light emitting from his eyes as Tali felt her mind go completely black...


Med Lab, Normandy

"Doctor! She's waking up!" She heard someone shout, her eyes adjusted to the light within the room while she breathed, "Come on Tali!"

"Ashley?" Tali inquired, her right arm felt as though it were heavily weighed down as she saw the recently made spectre, "Ashley...where am I?"

"You're on the Normandy..."

"Shepard...where is Shepard?"

"I'm here Tali." She saw Damian sit up from a nearby chair, looking as though he had not slept for days, "How are you feeling-"

"Where are they?" Tali inquired, memories of the Rayya crashing into Rannoch now flooded her mind, "Where are my people?"

"Tali..." Shepard grimaced and grabbed her left hand as Tali waited for him to explain, "You were there...you know what happened."

"The Geth...destroyed them..." It was coming back to her now. Hearing Shepard implore the Admirals to cease their attack, Legion sacrificing himself to upload the Reaper code to his people, Watching Admiral Gerrel renew the attack on the geth...seeing the newly upgraded Geth wipe the quarians from orbit with graceful efficiency that was both breath-taking and horrific to witness, "Because...you let them..."

"Tali...I told them what would happen-"

"AND YOU STOOD BY AND DID NOTHING!" Tali shouted, grabbing Shepard's neck with her right arm on reflex. The very act brought her attention to why her arm seemed so much heavier than it should have been, "Shepard...is that..."

"You lost your arm when-"

"Ash...me and Tali need to be alone." Shepard didn't even give a glance to the Lieutenant Commander before he repeated his request more firmly, "Now."

"Alright...Skipper..." Ashley agreed and passed by Chakwas on her way out, "Make sure that they don't kill each other."

"No promises dear," Karen Chakwas agreed as Ashley left the room, leaving the doctor to face the eyes of a broken and angry quarian whom she had known for three years, "Tali...what do you remember about what happened on Rannoch?"

"The death of my people...isn't that enough?" Tali asked and looked upon the synthetic arm that had been grafted to her right shoulder, "What is this thing?"

"It belonged to Legion and it was the only way to keep you from bleeding to death." Shepard answered regretfully, practically failing to hold back the tears building in his eyes, "I thought that I was going to lose you..."

"You were...you didn't want to let me go..." Tali replied, now recalling why her mask was gone and the events surrounding the requirement of a replacement arm, "Why Shepard?"

"I should ask you the same thing." Damian replied, "I saved your life."

"You didn't save my life...YOU TOOK AWAY MY RIGHT TO DIE AND LEFT ME AS A FREAK!" Tali roared, heavily breathing and seeing that under the sheets, she was no longer wearing the enviro-suit that marked her as a quarian, "Shepard...I wanted to die with my people and you wouldn't let me! You choose to take away my free will and took away my arm!"

"Really? You thought that you had the right to die because things didn't work out the way that you wanted them to?" Damian asked and grabbed Tali's prostetic, "You see this arm? This is a consequence of your inability to make the right choice! You didn't have to try and commit suicide, but you did anyway! You tried to take your life knowing what it would do to the team...what it would do to me. We need you...I need you and you wanted to leave us! I wasn't going to let that happen!"

"That's not your choice to make-"

"As the Captain of this ship, I'm responsible for everyone on it." Shepard interjected and continued to scowl as Tali broke down, weeping with her left hand upon her face, "I'm sorry about your arm...and I'm sorry about your people. But I'm tired of taking the heat for everyone's mistakes. That arm was the only thing that would fit as a prosthetic and without it...you would have died..."

"You...could find someone else-"

"I don't want anyone else."

"I want nothing..." Shepard's jaw gaped while Tali stared upon her right arm, "There's nothing for me Shepard...nothing to live for...nothing to fight for...nothing to even die for...you should have let the waters of Rannoch take me..."

"I didn't though and that's the end of that!" Shepard shouted feeling anger rise within him as he turned from the bed, "Make sure she's monitored 24/7."

"Yes Shepard." Dr. Chakwas agreed as Shepard stormed out of the med-bay, "The Commander was more harsh than he should have been...but it's only because he cares about you-"

"And I care for nothing..." Tali muttered, "You should just let me die.."

"As a doctor, letting you die would be against my profession." Karen answered and prepared a sedative to put Tali back to sleep, "You're on suicide watch in any case dear...don't waste your energy on the attempt. You need it for rest."

"So I can live for nothing?"

"No...I suppose that you will have to find a new reason to live." The doctor pointed out and fed the sedative into the mourning quarian, "Or remember the reason you had before your grief buried it."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Still leaning against next to the med bay window, Shepard appeared as though he felt nothing.

A mask to hide the storm within his mind.

"How is she?" Ashley asked as the mask gave way for a moment. A scowl empowered by years of pain and hardship peeked out from the cracks and hissed at her, "Is she upset-"

"Her people were just wiped out, what do you think?" Shepard coldly replied before his mask returned, "She needs time to sort herself out and to get used to that arm."

"The Geth arm..." Ashley remarked, "How do you know that the Geth won't try to take her over with it? Or that they won't send a virus-"

"That arm belonged to a friend in case you're forgetting." Shepard pointed out to Ashley, not in the mood to tolerate any disrespect to a fallen friend, "If there's anything left of Legion in that arm, it wouldn't do a thing to harm Tali. In any case, it was the only way to counteract the infection from her fall."

"When she lost her arm?"

"I tried to stop her at the last minute...but she got her leg caught on the cliff..." Shepard explained, "The blood loss made her lose consciousness and the wound was infected. The only way to save her was to remove the arm and graft Legion's arm onto her shoulder. The Geth donated a few programs into the "bloodstream" of the arm...removing any trace of the infection from her body..."

"Are they still there?"

"They've bolstered her immune system...a lot of stuff about mimicking diseases and bacteria...but it worked...why do you think she didn't have her suit?" Shepard inquired as Ashley scoffed, "Speak your mind Williams."

"Fine." Ashley agreed, "Can you really trust the Geth? With Tali or the War? How do you know that they won't turn on us the moment that the Victory Fleet shows any weakness?"

"The Geth only fought with the reapers out of desperation, to fight off the quarians and if they wanted to...they could have blasted us before we even left the system. But they have no reason to betray us, as long as we don't give them one."

"You sure about this-"

"For once in your damn life...can you TRUST ME!" Shepard shouted, startling Ashley and earning glances from various crew members, "I understand your personal history with the geth...but damn it Ash! I know what I'm doing! And in case you've forgotten, there's reapers out there wiping out any life that they can find!"

"Alright...but what if you're wrong?" Ashley asked, "Remember what I told you about the Council and how the Alliance should be able to stand up for itself? What did the Council do when you told them about the Reapers? They left you in the dark and didn't lift a finger to help Earth."

"Good Call Ash...I'll give you that one." Shepard offered with a nod, "But that doesn't change that was their call and not mine. When have any of my calls gone wrong like that?"

"Working with Cerberus wasn't one of your better moves..."

"But it was necessary and it worked." Ashley was dangling close to an issue between them that Shepard didn't care to address at that moment. The reason for the friendly silence between them on most occasions. While looking for another topic, an idea popped into Shepard's mind, "EDI! Call the squad down to the crew lounge...I need to be clear with everyone about the near-future."

"Understood Shepard."

"I can't do anything about it, but I don't trust the Geth." Ashley stated and looked towards the Med Lab, "I heard Javik's story about the Zha'til...how do you know that they won't do the same to her?"

"You really can't trust me...can you?"

"Good question...I thought I could but now...I don't know Shepard." Ashley shook her head and went to the Memorial in the hall, "For what it's worth...Kaidan would have trusted you..."

"Kaidan's not here though...you are." Shepard didn't mean for it sound harsh, but the raw emotion within his soul was beginning to weigh on him. He exhaled and took a chair at the lounge table, "I'm tired..."

Tired of doing the right thing and being spat in the face for it.

Tired of being betrayed and abandoned by those who should support him.

Tired of being railroaded into accepting things.

Tired of facing the consequences for the mistakes of dumbasses like the Council and Admiral Gerrel.

Tired of seeing friends and loved ones suffer and die because of those mistakes.

Tired of having those dreams with that stupid child running away from him.

Tired of knowing that the reapers would take advantage of every failure.

He was chosen as a Paragon of humanity...a shining example of honor and nobility in the face of danger and duty.

But if that Paragon was ever truly there, he died along with the Will of Miss Vas Normandy.

Now all that was left was the true Shepard, the part of himself that he had left behind with his past as an Earthborn Drifter. Just like he had severed ties with an absentee father or an unstable mother. He molded himself into the Paragon in an attempt to distance himself further from that part of Damian Shepard. Even his last name was truthfully his Middle Name to replace a Surname that had been forgotten.

Becoming a War Hero could not erase the shadow of his true self.

Nor could the love of Ashley Williams while it was there.

Nor could the support and friendship of his crew and squad.

Nor his accomplishments as the Paragon Shepard.

The Shadow remained.

Now it was dominating his features, his mind and his very soul. Because Shepard didn't have any reason to fight it. He would use it, shape it, and harness it as the sword with which he would destroy the Reapers.

Along with anyone who stood in his way.


Author's Notes:

Tali falls and Shepard snaps

To be completely honest, I'm using this story as a way of channeling all of my remnant rage concerning the ME3 ending fiasco into something positive. A year ago, I said that the EC fixed the ending enough to make it acceptable.

That's really only in relative terms.

For what it was, it was good. But it left glaring plot holes that were easy enough to fix...for instance how the Star-Child's very presence contradicts the entire main plot of the first Mass Effect game. Whenever I try to have a civil conversation with other fans on the forums about this...at best I'm told to shut up and at worst, I'm baited into a rage contest..

I won't bore you with the numerous reasons why the ending sucks, so I'm just going to quote UnderstatedNerdRage. Since the ending to ME3 as established by the EC makes no sense and violates the narrative cohesion, genre and central conflict of the entire trilogy, we're free to make up our own ending. Mod it, write it, think it and put it into your headcannon...because whatever you think up will be just as valid as the canon ending.

This story is going to lead up to my legit ending. No matter how geniunely bad that it is...it will remain just as valid as ME3.

But enough about the ending! Why did I start this story?

To explore three questions: What if Admiral Gerrel had continued the attack despite Shepard's pleas and warnings? What if Shepard had saved Tali from her suicide? How would the resultant emotional fallout affect the two of them, their relationship or their interactions with others for the latter half of ME3?

Let's take a look, shall we?