The four intruders moved into the house, and the vibe was positive and bright. After failing to scare them away, the Spirits retreated to the dark corners of the house and waited. Music, laughter, and pizza bounced off the cracked plaster walls. Bedrooms were divvied up with a minimum of argument, and were soon decorated with posters, art, and crayon-scribbled lyrics. Mismatched flea market furniture was dragged in a bit at a time, as the intruders turned the neglected house into a disheveled home - yet more warmth threatening to drive the Spirits back, but still they waited.

In the darkest hours of the night, the Spirits felt free enough to invade the intruders' dreams and bring them a momentary fright, but such childish games soon grew tiresome. A more patient, careful approach was needed, one that required diving deeper to explore the subconsciousness of the intruders. Human beings had a talent for both suppressing and rewriting their own memories, but remnants always remained.

To the Spirit's surprise and delight, the intruders' memories were bristling with potential ammunition. The amicable good cheer between them was just a paper-thin coating of dirt swept over powerful landmines: Bad memories, bad juju, bad feelings. Grudges, fear, and pain. All the Spirits had to do was nudge a bit in the right direction, and the cheerful intruders would cheerfully destroy each other.

###

While Noodle and Russ were out searching flea markets for bedroom furniture, 2D thought it would be a nice surprise to get all their DVDs organized and shelved in the case Noodle had dragged home the day before. Well, maybe not ALL their DVDs, especially not some of Murdoc's more colourful titles. However, Murdoc simply informed him, "She's already seen 'em all, mate."

"What … ALL of them?"

"Our little girl's grown up."

"Oh." 2D felt a strange mix of pride, embarrassment, and just a bid of sadness, not made any better when he shelved "Turgid Zombie Sexcapades" next to Noodle's childhood favourite: "My Neighbor Totoro". It just seemed … wrong.

"That's wrong." Murdoc observed.

"You read my mind!" 2D was delighted. The more Murdoc drank these days, the more on the same wavelength they seemed to be. Almost like old times.

"Satan forbid," Murdoc snapped. "Look, this one begins with M, this one with T."

2D stared in confusion. "This one's Totoro, and this one's Turgid. Turgid Totoro! Eww, that sounds even worse."

Murdoc face took on that blank expression which often preceded a slap (or worse), and 2D felt himself tense in anticipation, but after a moment, Murdoc just shook his head. "Never mind."

2D shrugged (and tried not to show his relief), then looked down at the box of DVDs not yet shelved. "Er ..?"

"What is it, now."

"W- what if it starts with a number?"

"What?" Murdoc sounded tired, but fortunately not angry.

2D plucked out a movie and held it up. "10 Nasty Nuns in Nantucket".

"Oh. Numbers go first."

2D blinked, then stared at the disc in his hand. "Really? Wait, that means … I come first!"

"That's what she said," Murdoc murmured dryly. An hour later, 2D glanced up from his work to ask "who?" but Murdoc had long since left the room.

By the time he placed the last disc in what he hoped was in the neighborhood of alphabetical order, it was dark outside. 2D realized that the room had gone cold and his stomach was starting to rumble. He glanced over towards the kitchen. He hadn't risked opening the fridge by himself since that first day in the house, and the rhythmic booming from the ceiling above him indicated that Murdoc was 'improvising' on his bass (he insisted that only amateurs 'practiced') upstairs.

The sound of a car door slammed outside. "Russ and Noodle are home! Maybe they bought snacks." 2D tossed the now-empty moving box into a corner and stood up … that is, tried to stand up. The floor tilted forward, then backward. "Wha-whoaa!" 2D stumbled a few steps then sat hard on the cold floor. "Blood sugar must be low, or something," he thought. Russel often said that, so it must be a thing. He shifted and put his hand on the floor to push himself back up … the floor wasn't just cold, it was wet! He pulled his hand back in alarm, and realized his whole body was starting to sink. Flailing in panic, he managed to scramble forward a few feet and reach for the sofa. Something warm and wet slammed into him from behind, knocking his upper body and chin painfully onto the sofa cushion, but it felt hard and sharp. Still, it was solid enough, and he managed to get a grip on it and haul himself up.

The walls were gone. No, the whole house was gone! 2D stared uncomprehending straight ahead, closed his eyes tight, tried to take a deep breath (and only managed a squeaky gasp) and opened them again. All he saw was … ocean. He twisted one way, then another, then another – nothing but ocean for miles and miles, toward the darkening horizon in every direction. The only variety in the landscape was the red-orange glow of the sunset in the east (or was it the west, he could never remember). Soon it would be not just dark, but pitch black. The only sound was the crashing of waves, and the distant cry of seagulls. A steady cold breeze raised goosebumps on his skin.

"No. No-no! Nonononoooo, no. Dreaming. I'm … th-this is a dream," 2D declared to the roaring emptiness around him. "Terrible nightmare. Gonna wake up, now!" Another wave slammed against what he suddenly realized was a painted-pink pile of garbage that he was precariously perched on, and almost knocked him off. "Right NOW!" he begged.

A long, low, moaning groan in the distance, as if in reply. A horrible, oh, so familiar sound. His mind whispered "whale" but he shouted to drown it out. "I am in a sodding old house in Detroit, and sodding Murdoc is playing his sodding bass right above me, and Russ and Noodle are bringing me KFC and fish and chips and Doritos, and I am waking up and we're going to watch sodding turgid Totoro's ten sodding nuns right … sodding … NOOOW!"

The whale exploded out of the water less than a hundred meters from him, up, up, and still up – taller than a New York skyscraper, then gracefully arched towards him, massive open mouth full of sharp teeth closing down on him.

This time 2D managed to get a lung full of air, which he expelled in the loudest, longest scream of his eventful existence.

###

Russ struggled to shift several bags into one arm to unlock the door, as Noodle retrieved more second hand treasure from the trunk. "I don't know why you didn't let me stop for donuts, or somethin'," Russ called back to her. "The guys are gonna be hungry."

"The guys, right," Noodle muttered under her breath, and called back, "I want real food!" She slammed the trunk for emphasis. She grinned as she followed him into the house, taking the sting out of her words.

"We could order Chinese …" Russ suggested uncertainly.

"I said REAL food, not what you Americans call Chinese," Noodle said, laughing, but her laugh died when she realized Russ had stopped abruptly in the living room. She saw his confused expression and turned to follow his gaze.

2D was crouched like a spider on the back of their sofa, staring right through them both with the most terrified expression she'd ever seen (and she'd seen quite a variety in her short life).

"D?" Russ said softly. Nothing. Russ took a step towards the sofa, hand outstretched. "D, you okay?"

2D screamed.

###

He dove off the pink garbage, narrowly escaping the gaping maw. The beast crashed back into the water, and the ensuing wave lifted 2D what felt like miles into the air, and then down into the tumbling black water. He instinctively held his breath and curled up in a ball, waiting to hopefully rise back up towards the diminishing light and air somewhere above him.

###

2D flung himself backwards off the sofa and curled up in fetal position on the floor. Russ and Noodle rushed over to him.

"Tooey, what ..?" Noodle started.

"The HELL did Murdoc do, this time, I swear I'm going to …" Russ also started.

Before either could go on, 2D shrank away from them, pointed straight at Russ, and shrieked, "Whaaaaale!"

Russ felt like he'd been kicked in the gut. Horrible memories bubbled to the surface: Himself, giant, emerging onto dry land, People running, screaming, pointing at him. Pain, blood, a unbreakable glass box where he sat and starved and people came and stared and stared and stared …

Russ shook his head. "Aww, what the HELL is goin' on here?!"

###

2D kicked furiously, trying to swim as far from the whale as possible, but risked a glance back. The creature was still right there, one baleful eye fixed on him, as he struggled to get away. Looking higher, he spotted a figure somehow floating above the waves – Cyborg Noodle! Her beautiful face was distorted in an evil grin and she leveled a gun right at him.

2D whimpered and then … gave up. What was the use? Every time things seemed to be going well for him, that filthy bastard Murdoc played another dirty trick on him, and everything went wrong. Why did he ever let himself think this time would be different? It would never be different. It would never be better. Even as he thought this, some part of his breaking heart longed to see his friends just one more time: Russ, Noodle, and yes … even Murdoc. He hated himself for it, but there it was. He closed his eyes, pulled his knees up to his face, and waited to die.

###

Time spun backwards, as Noodle's ears rang with a man's scream ("2D. My friend – no, there are no friends, only allies and enemies. Focus!"). She closed her eyes and felt … alive. Memories washed over her. Training: War, strategy, survival. Above all, victory. She breathed calmly, as it all unfolded before her in beautiful, precise flow charts. Moves and counter-moves, like chess, only better. The perfect union of math and art, life and death.

First, she would need a weapon …

###

Russ reeled as two realities battled for dominance. He turned toward Noodle, but she stood still as a statue, eyes closed. 2D was curled up and shaking on the floor. But there were others … he could feel them nearby, and their hatred was palpable. Whale. Giant. Freak.

"No!" he shook his head again, harder, and took a tentative step towards 2D, arms outstretched. "Hey, c'mon, buddy …"

"YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" A green-tinged blur struck Russel from the side, knocking him over. The figure sprawled on Russ's chest, knees digging in painfully. Light glinted off of a weapon it raised and brought down toward Russ's face. They'd come for him. They were going to take him back! He reached out and managed to catch the weapon with one hand, just inches from his face, and latched his other around the figure's throat. He hauled himself up and flipped the figure around and slammed him down.

###

2D heard a familiar scream of rage and uncurled just enough to risk a peek between his knees. He couldn't believe his eyes: Murdoc had appeared out of nowhere and was bearing down on the whale with a harpoon!

"Filthy, double-crossing, pile of blubbery shit!" Murdoc screamed. "I paid you to guard him, not EAT him!" He stabbed repeatedly with the harpoon, punctuating each thrust with: "MY singer, MY band, MY deal, MINE!"

2D managed to haul himself back up on the hunk of garbage jutting out of the water, and he stared in horror as the whale caught the harpoon in his mighty jaws and dove beneath the waves – leaving nothing but a trail of bloody froth in its wake.

"No!" 2D cried and leaned out and squinted, trying to see any sign of his would-be rescuer. The water bubbled a few times, then … nothing.

###

Noodle strode purposefully into her bedroom, glanced around and spotted what she needed. Katsu blinked slowly at her from the perch of her cat tree. Noodle nodded at her, picked up her weapon, and headed off to battle.

###

"Not this time, sucka" Russ thought as he tightened his grip and his foe gargled and twitched.

###

Noodle strode into the room and lifted a bluetooth speaker over her head. "Alexa! Play Gorillaz!" she yelled.

"I'm sorry," Amazon Echo's (her Christmas gift to the guys) somewhat mechanical voice replied through the speaker. "I can't find Goat Livers in your library."

Noodle dropped the speaker. "Shit."

###

2D reached out a desperate hand toward the last tiny bubble as it broke on the surface of the darkening water. "MURRRRRRDOOOOOOC!"

Russ blinked. "The fuck?" The haze cleared from his vision and he suddenly realized he had Murdoc's beloved El Diablo bass in one hand, and Murdoc's even more beloved throat in the other. He released both, as shame washed over him. "Oh … fuck!"

Murdoc made a sound like a cross between a duck hit by a moped and a stomped on frog, gasped, choked, and then managed to haul himself to his feet. He stumbled a few steps and muttered drunkenly. "Where's the whale? It wasss … where'sss tha fuck'n whale?"

###

Murdoc suddenly surfaced, gasping and sputtering. 2D stared in worshipful wonder as the ocean receded back, revealing solid ground as Murdoc slowly stood, the final rays of the setting sun illuminating him as the wind blew his hair back and fluttered the tatters of his shirt torn by the struggle with his defeated fishy-foe.

The pink garbage dissolved into a old sofa and the nightmare was over.

###

Together, the four intruders stayed awake until two or three in the morning, watching movies, laughing, and clearly trying – if failing – to act as if it was a normal evening for them.

For the Spirits, it was worse. Much, much worse! Instead of being torn apart, the intruders seemed to have forged a even stronger bond than before. While they all knew what had just transpired wasn't real, it didn't seem to matter. Rather than destroy them, the memories the Spirits had so carefully brought to the surface had somehow resolved into something new that only brought them closer together.

The resulting good vibrations were too much to bear. The Spirits retreated into the walls and down to the cellar, and even further down to the sewer below. Their bond with the house unbroken, they could not retreat any farther, so they wallowed in the muck and once more: waited. After all, human beings had a way of turning gifts into curses. If not today …

End